Neville didn't consider himself a great lover, he seldom had any desires. Sometimes lust came upon him, but he always somehow managed to control it. He loved his parents as a son, he loved his grandmother as a grandson. He loved his uncle and he loved his toad – well, pets are always lovely. That is the very idea about pets. Neville even loved a girl – at least he thought he loved her. Until something happened.
Until it happened. Literally – it happened.
He liked it. No, he loved it.
At the very first moment when it was presented to him, he considered it repulsive. Mimbulus mimbletonia – a plant which possesses a notorious defense mechanism: when irritated it sprays Stinksap.
But Neville touched it and he started enjoying it. And it started enjoying Neville's touch, too. Neville's touch was gentle and loving – the way he caressed it: tenderly. At first he was horrified when the plant sprayed, but soon he understood: the plant liked his caressing and eventually found its release by Neville's petting.
And so Neville patted and stroked his plant – every day. He even gave it a name: Toni. Neville became very attached to Toni. He felt he had fallen in love with Toni.
"But how could one fall in love with a plant?" he often asked himself. But he had fallen. With a plant.
Heart doesn't choose, mind can't control. One can't stop loving. This is a tragedy.
Sometimes he wondered whether he had imagined it. Maybe the plant actually didn't love him – that it was his sick fantasy. Countless times he confessed his love and made innumerable love pledges, but Toni never answered. It was frustrating, but how can one really expect a talking plant?
Finally Neville decided it didn't matter. After all, love should be shown, not told.
And he showed it. Neville stroked his lover, he felt how Toni hardened. He himself hardened, too. He continued patting and petting and caressing. He even planted several kisses on the plant.
Finally he dropped his pants and slowly entered the plant. It made squishy sound as his member made a new orifice. Toni didn't have any holes but Neville had discovered that he could make one just slowly pushing in.
Copulating, gasping, he continued sliding into the plant's soft interior until his pleasure built up and wild spurts of satiation came. Toni squeezed him tight and sprayed its stinking sap. Neville smiled contentedly.
He dried himself of plant's sap and pulled his pants up. Toni the plant softened and the orifice Neville had made by his thrusting slowly contracted until disappeared.
He patted the plant softly, and whispered three words: "I love you,"
He loved it. No matter how silly or ridiculous or twisted it was: it was only a love.