Disclaimer: Dick Wolf owns everything, I own nothing and it shows because if I did own them, Eames would have said something less cryptic!!!
A/N: Just a short post-ep possibility. I so hated my initial thoughts on this episode I had to fix it for myself. I am hoping we are all wrong about the intent of Eames' final comment in this episode. I am going with the positive because I am not happy with the idea that it could have been as negative as I thought. Not my Eames!!! She would never stab Bobby in the heart like that. No betas on this one so hopefully it isn't too awful. I just wanted to get it out NOW. LOL
Something To Smile About
"Now it's too late," Alex said, giving him a quick glance before she left the room.
Bobby stood there staring after her. Too late? He wasn't sure what she meant by that. Too late because she's already tainted by her association with me? She said it so matter-of-factly. Would she say something like that so casually? Is she still upset at me over re-opening her husband's case? No, we got past that...she said as much... He had no idea how long he stood there with those thoughts running through his head but suddenly she was back and calling his name.
"Bobby?"
Bobby blinked. "Uh...sorry, I was...uh, what is it?"
"It's time to head back to the office," Alex replied, seemingly unaware of what turmoil his mind was in after her last comment.
He nodded and followed her silently.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The ride back to 1PP had been mostly silent. Bobby stared out the window and occasionally glanced over at his partner as if he wanted to say something to her but said nothing.
Alex wanted to ask him what was bothering him but decided against it. He always told her in his own time. She knew better than to push him. She worried that he might have gotten too close to Leslie and was taking this personally. Nicole, Nelda and now Leslie. Why is it women psychopaths could be so vicious? Well, to be fair Nelda wasn't really vicious, just pathetic.
Back at 1PP they processed Leslie and began dealing with the paperwork.
Alex tried making conversation with her partner but his replies were monosyllabic and he obviously wasn't interested in communicating with her at the moment. She watched him out of the corner of her eye. Did he come back to work too soon? He wasn't giving her any clues as to what he might be thinking so she gave up trying to analyze him. That was his forte, not hers.
It was six o'clock when they finished up their reports. Alex donned her jacket and grabbed her purse from a desk drawer and smiled at Bobby. "Well, at least we get to go home at a decent hour."
Bobby looked up and nodded but said nothing. His eyes were dark and brooding.
After a few seconds of debating whether she should ask him what was wrong or just wait until tomorrow, Alex decided on the latter. "See you tomorrow, Bobby," she said as she headed towards the elevators. It was always best to let him tell her when he was ready.
Suddenly Bobby stood up and caught up to her. "Um...do you have plans for tonight?"
Alex chuckled. "Plans on a week night when we're working a case? I gave up on trying that years ago."
Finally, Bobby gave her a small smile. "Then would you have dinner with me? I...we need to talk."
"Sure," Alex agreed, hoping she could help him with whatever seemed to be bothering him. This is a good sign. Usually it takes days for him to say anything to me.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
They went to one of their favorite restaurants close to Bobby's apartment. It was busy but they managed to get themselves seated at a booth that gave them some privacy, they ordered drinks and food and engaged in mundane chit-chat. For a while it seemed like things were back to normal.
Once their drinks arrived, Bobby took a sip of his beer and braced himself for the worst. Why am I torturing myself? She doesn't seem to think what she said was a big deal. He sighed and stared at the table top. But it was...at least to me. I can't pretend it didn't happen.
"So, what's on your mind?" Alex asked, stirring several packets of sugar into her iced tea.
Nervously licking his lips, Bobby met her gaze. Here goes everything. "I was just...thinking...about...what you said...about it being too...too late now." His gaze faltered and he was back to staring at the table top.
Alex looked confused for a moment and then surprised as she recalled their brief exchange. "You mean about what Leslie said?"
Bobby nodded. "Did you mean it? Do you feel your career is already tainted...by...by your association with me?"
"What?" Alex blinked.
Bobby nodded, finally meeting her gaze once more. "Do you feel..." he began again.
"Of course not! Is that what you thought I meant?" Alex interrupted, looking quite distraught.
"What else could it have meant, Alex?" he asked bitterly. Of all the horrible things people said about him and to him, nothing hurt more than the thought of his partner agreeing with them.
On impulse, Alex reached out and grabbed his hand in both of hers. "No! I didn't mean it that way. I'm so sorry! I didn't even think that..."
"Then what did you mean?" he asked, staring at her hands as they clasped his tightly.
"I meant...it's too late to worry about petty things like that because...because I made my choice six years ago," she said.
"And what choice would that be? To stick it out with the whack job?" Bobby asked, still feeling unsure of her meaning.
"No! I'm not staying with you out of pity. I'm not that selfless. You...you make me a better cop and...a better person," she said as his eyes met her gaze once more. "It doesn't matter what other people think and I don't want to be captain. I want to do a good job. I want to do the right thing. Not buy into the 'buddy boy' system and...and blindly follow along."
"You wouldn't do that," Bobby said, feeling a sense of relief and warmth spread throughout him as he took in what Alex was saying.
Alex shook her head. "Not on purpose. But sometimes...like with Joe...and maybe even with Kevin...if you hadn't questioned Copa, if you accepted what everyone else was willing to accept...nothing would have been rectified. There would have been no justice. I wouldn't have thought to question...I didn't question Kevin all those years ago..."
"You were mourning the death of your husband...no one can blame you for not..." Bobby began.
"Even if I weren't in mourning, Delgado was such an easy target. So easy to hate the drug dealer, you know? Just like it would have been so easy to put Kevin's murder on Sang." Alex released Bobby's hand and leaned back in her seat, closing her eyes.
"You backed me up, Eames. You didn't side with the..." Bobby began, missing the physical contact they rarely shared when she removed her hands from his. So much so he did something he would never have done just a few short months ago. He reached over and gently laid his hand over hers.
"But I would have gone along with it if you weren't there to point out what is now so obvious." Alex opened her eyes. "I know you and others seem to think I'm the one holding things together in our partnership. Maybe I do provide some sort of touchstone for you or whatever it is they say. But you keep me on the right path, Bobby. And now...it's too late for me to worry about what others think about you and by association about me. It's too late because I don't want to be any less than I am when I work with you."
Bobby was stunned. He had no idea what to say to her. Of all the things he imagined she meant, he never expected this reply.
"I'm sorry if you misunderstood my meaning," Alex said softly, looking at him as if she were on the verge of tears.
"I should have said something sooner," Bobby replied, feeling badly about her obvious distress. It seemed lately he was always responsible for bringing her to tears.
"Don't make this your fault, Bobby." Alex turned her hand to hold his.
"So...we're all right?" Bobby asked.
Alex smiled. "Yeah, we're all right."
The End
A/N: Okay, that's made me feel much better. I don't know what the writers of the actual show are thinking but I'm making this my reality until they make things clearer for me. And for those following these stories I promise to get back to Defining Moments and A Charmed Life soon. Thanks for indulging my psychological need for a happier ending.
