A Light of Memories

It was a pleasant place, if you liked being in the middle of ancient ruins. Angela looked around and examined what she saw. There seemed to be a mixture of Roman, Greek, Egyptian and even architecture that predated that. If she had to guess she would have said Atlantean and it would be a fairly good guess since she still had that chest from that island city that disappeared. And if normal people heard that Atlantis did exist…

Looking around, the place seemed like an arena of sorts, much like the Colosseum. She was not that old but according to the Alchemists in a previous life she did visit Rome but as an Egyptian princess or something like that. She bought the previous life thing since there were a few jobs that had her 'remembering' things that she couldn't possibly remember. And it helped when the Winchesters experienced something similar. The princess thing was a bit of a stretch since she would never consider herself that even though she was still named the warrior princess.

There seemed to be an ominous feeling to the place since there was mist floating around. It was clichéd but effective since she had her fair share of hanging around misty swamp banks and creepy cemeteries. She adjusted her jacket and checked the pockets for whatever might help and tried reaching out. It was first instinct of hers…

"I don't think you'll be able to talk to Castiel or that bird brain friend of yours."

Angela turned to see Lucifer standing there, looking at her with a tolerant smile. She stared at him with a slight narrowing of her eyes and replied, "What are you doing here. We got out."

Lucifer took his time and paced slowly in front of her looking amused at something. If only she knew what was going on. "That goes to show you how much you know. And you've forgotten quite a bit."

"I know you said I was around and slapped the Mark on you," Angela countered having heard the story before. She heard it from Amara and then Lucifer.

"That's part of it. You've forgotten your true self; what made you the greatest of us and Dad's favorite."

"And I don't care."

"You should." Lucifer knew that he didn't have to be polite since in the end Sam said no and he went to plan B. That ended up being fun since it was very physical and he liked it. "You were the one that set things in motion to the here and now."

"Don't even play that game," Angela warned.

"Play what game?" Lucifer shrugged like he didn't know what was going on. "We both know that you have had a profound effect on everything that has happened since Dad sent you here along with your other half."

Angela stared at the fallen angel. She had no memory of being an angel and yet others told her she was. While Lucifer was the prince of lies, he never told a lie when it came to her. If anything he was more honest than the most trustworthy of allies she had and that was weird in a creepy way. But he also had a way of playing upon her default mental torture when she was feeling guilt over her choices. She replied, "Everyone has an effect. It's what makes the world turn."

"True but let's face it. In order for Dad to create that hellhole you call earth, you needed to bind his sister. You did that and created the Mark and slapped it on me but I couldn't resist and truth be told… I didn't want to. So I reached out and in the end I got Cain and… you know the whole story." Lucifer gestured as if impatient to tell the story. He pointed at her, "You basically started the world on this path."

Angela was silent for a moment. She had thought about it before now but she refused to let it bring her down. She had no memory of it so why should she dwell on it? Because it was her nature and she always tried to take other people's burdens from them. "Maybe. But what good is it if I don't remember?"

Lucifer grinned, "And that is where this comes in." He stepped closer until he was almost toe to toe with her. "Now this won't hurt a bit."

Angela opened her mouth but Lucifer had already pressed his first two fingers to her forehead. She saw that they were still in the same area but she saw a couple of angels standing around. She recognized Michael, Raphael, Gabriel, Lucifer and Amitiel and a few others. She knew it was them but they looked different and she could see where people got the idea that they wore the clothes that they did. She also saw how different things were then. Lucifer wasn't who he was now and Michael and the others didn't really look like the dicks she knew them to be.

They were chatting and it was obvious that they were discussing the matter of Darkness. It appeared that things hadn't been going well until Gabriel gestured and they turned. It was like seeing her some great grandniece Elena walking but it wasn't her. Angela knew though that she was looking at herself and it sort of explained why she liked to dress like a warrior. Here she was dressed for battle and…

Behind her angel self, Angela saw her other half. She was certain this was Lucifer playing upon her current emotions and attachments. He would know that she and Sam were an item and he did imply that he knew about their bond. Yet to see the possibility of Sam as an angel, that was breathtaking and she knew that there was a difference when there was the presence of grace.

She watched as the group of angels discussed a plan and she watched the reaction of the angels. She noted Lucifer's looks and then focused on Sam. She knew it was a memory since hallucinations felt different. "Is this what you did with Sam when you left me behind?"

Lucifer shrugged as he took the opportunity to touch her on the shoulder, "Well I had to try with words to convince him the feasibility of my plan. You were the one that said words often worked better than action."

"And what is this? Trying to convince me to open the Cage and get you out?"

"As I said before," Lucifer paced behind her and breathed low and sultry in her ear, "I have considered you and it is still an option."

Apparently Lucifer hadn't forgotten her offer from before and she hadn't either. It was probably the closest she had ever come to completely losing herself and in essence becoming hell's bitch. It was also a reminder of how far she would go for the ones she loved and in particular Sam. "So this is you reminding me of the options."

"Of course. But Sam said no and I had to go with plan B and boy was that thrilling. I had almost forgotten how your war cry and your skills just turn me on." He stepped back and grinned at her. "You know I actually wanted you. First time I saw you."

"And we know how that ended up."

"Yes. You got your other half and had no interest in anyone else. You really did invent the 'let's just be friends' thing," Lucifer mocked as he simpered at her.

Angela stared at the memory Lucifer conjured feeling saddened by the whole thing. She felt sad for a memory that was lost probably permanently to her and yet she did feel some responsibility. In the end though… "But you took on the Mark."

"What?"

Angela turned to look at Lucifer and stared hard at him. "You had to take on the Mark."

"I took it. You slapped it on me."

"No," she shook her head. "You had to take on the Mark. It can't be forced upon anyone. It has to have consent. You consented."

Lucifer scoffed, "Yeah I did. You're arguing semantics."

"And for good reason," Angela pointed out, "If I created the Mark, that meant that I would have taken it on but you said no. You said you would." She paused a moment since she was certain that she was pulling at strings. "Granted that I'm pulling at strings but… if I know how angels work, it has to be by consent. Your demon spawn don't have to have consent but you do."

Lucifer sighed and narrowed his eyes, "Very clever my pretty. You don't remember a damned thing but you are good at thinking things through." He sighed as he paced around, "Well think about this: if you won't let me out, I can't help you recover what you lost when Dad sent you here."

"And let you run amok on earth and start the Apocalypse again? Hell no." Angela glared angrily at the devil knowing that he had a way with words and she wasn't going to fall for them. The memory he shot her was just a teaser… a fantasy of sorts.

"Okay that would have been a sideshow but you and I both know that they real threat is Amara," Lucifer pointed out. He peered at Angela hoping to see some leeway there. "You need me."

"I don't need you." Angela clenched her hands in a fist and stood firm. "I can find my own way and I'm not alone."

"Oh yes, rely on those two. Everything they have done was not because they cared about the world but it was because they cared about each other and look at the blood that was spilled," Lucifer pointed out like he was shouting at her. "I tried to get this point over with Sam. Granted I liked the take charge attitude he had before shacking up with that girl and her dog. Big mistake there. But…"

Angela knew about that. She didn't have to see it but she could sense Sam's emotions when Lucifer took him on a trip down memory lane. She felt them and she felt when he remembered his time with Amelia. It surprised her; he hadn't been happy but guilty. It seemed that whatever Lucifer thought was a product of Sam being able to misdirect. "And in the end it is because of their devotion that things worked out."

Lucifer snorted at that, "And what of the cost. Can you honestly say that the ends justify the means?"

It was like a round robin of thoughts and memories as Angela recalled the major decisions. She could see that Lucifer was waiting for an answer. "In the end… yes. Granted mistakes were made but the pieces were picked up and moved on."

Lucifer shook his head, "You always tried to be the peace maker. Never making a decision unless it was put on the line. Has to be all that Light and Love Dad created you with." He looked away in disgust.

"No. It's the ability to see a larger picture and one that I've always been guilty of despite what my feelings are in the moment. I'm not perfect but in the end the hardest decisions I've made have been because of that." She looked back at the memory that still had been playing while they were talking and then back at the fallen angel, "The one truly selfish thing I've done was to follow Sam into the Cage. I didn't go because I wanted to but because of Sam."

Lucifer studied her. Her speech had rendered him quiet as he studied her. He always knew that she gave of herself for others but to do something for herself, it was unheard of. "You came into the pit willingly for yourself?"

"I wanted Sam back and I was willing to pay the price," she offered.

Lucifer nodded at her, "Well I guess you aren't the angel everyone paints you to be."

"I never claimed otherwise. You on the other hand… pride comes before the fall."

Lucifer gave a warning finger at her. He had his fun and games but he was now serious. "Don't even. You don't really think you can do this can you?"

"I have in the past." Angela gave a shrug knowing that it would probably annoy the fallen angel but what point was therein being nice? She would humor him.

"You can't. One day you will remember what it took. Deep down you will come to realize that you want me there with you and that you need me to fight with you."

"Not in this lifetime."

As Angela turned to go, she was halted by Lucifer saying, "Alright… but do you do know that she will gun for Sam. She will kill him like she did the last time."

Angela turned to look at the fallen angel with a hard look. She stared long and hard. Her eyes narrowed into a glare. But she didn't say anything.

Lucifer grinned at her expression and gestured at her that she was to remember, "Remember. I know what Amara knows. I can help you get back what you lost before she kills him. And she will kill Sam. That's a promise."

Angela would have said something but the mist had picked up creating a cloudy atmosphere that she couldn't see. She looked around for any trace of the angel.

Angie?

She looked around at the sound of her name. She didn't see anything but mist. It was thick. She almost didn't see the heavy shadow…

"Angie?"

Angela looked down at her shoulder to find Sam's hand there. She blinked and it took her a moment to realize where she was. She looked up at Sam and apologized, "Sorry. Just spacing out."

Sam looked down at her with a concerned look on her face as she resumed the activity of brushing her hair before bed. She had been doing that when she spaced out and became nonresponsive. It scared him a bit but he knew that it had happened before right when they first got Hibah as a baby. It was rare when it happened but still…

She hadn't said much about what happened when they were in the Cage. There wasn't much she could say since Lucifer told her to stay put until they got back. The only thing they could agree on was when they made it back and Lucifer decided to beat on him. That was when it wasn't a fight but a battle… at least on her end. And when they got out, she spent her time asking him if he was okay until he put a stop to it and asked her about herself.

Looking at her and studying her, Sam knew that this was going to take its toll on her more than the Purgatory thing and the other crap. They didn't know about Amara and what she was up to but… Sam was used to having a target on his back. He had it since Azazel bled into his mouth when he was six months old. And he knew Angela had one but this was different.

"Can we do this?"

Sam looked down and saw Angela looking up at him. He saw the question in her eyes and knew she was thinking about recent events. "We'll find a way," he replied. He then frowned, "Do you think we can?"

"I'll always have faith," Angela admitted but her gaze drifted away as she thought about Lucifer's last words. "Lucifer called to me. It's why I spaced out," she admitted, "And he wants me to get him out."

"You know that's not possible."

"I know." Angela paused for a moment and then said, "He showed me what it was like then. He showed me as an angel." She saw the look and while Sam learned the truth, he was not inclined to believe Satan. She explained, "He may be the prince of lies but he has never lied to me and you can't fake a memory and I know the difference."

Sam didn't doubt that. The few stints dealing with previous life memories a few years back had him not so quick to dismiss it. To him, this sounded like one of Lucifer's methods of getting to her and it looked like it might succeed. "And did you consider that…"

"Of course but it's hard to ignore when you are put in the equation," she replied softly and looked up at him. "And you are the one person I would be selfish over." She looked at her lap and sighed, "This isn't going to go away Sam and I don't know what to do. I have no memory of what they are talking about and yet…"

Sam said nothing but drew her into an embrace. He didn't like this either. While they were out of the Cage, he couldn't help but think that it wasn't completely done and if Lucifer could still reach her… Just one step at a time.

A/N: Looks like Luci is trying a few tricks. Tag to Devil's in the Details and submitted for #fantasymonth on DeviantArt.