If the seas are calm, I feel blissful. If the seas are rough, I feel suicidal. But today, it seems as if the sea is neither calm nor rough. It seems as if time stood still and I am left in motion. Its been 5 days since I have last seen land. Five days since I have last seen my family.
I remember the sad looks on their faces as i board the ship for Ithaca. My mother's big, wet blue eyes met mine and she burst into tears. Real, streaming, never-ending, potential-flood-making tears. It was the third time it happened. In an hour.
"Mom are you crying again?" I asked her.
My father, who was supposed to be the man of the house, joined my mom as i saw a teardrop fall from the corner of his eyes.
"Dad," I bit onto my lips as I tried my best to emulate 'sympathetic' on my face. It wasn't easy when all I was thinking about was why they were crying. But looking at it, I AM their only son. And because today was the day.
It was supposed to be the biggest day of my life. The day when i would suddenly grow up and take a ginger step into the "scary" and yet propitious adult life. In just three hours, I'm going to Ithaca to stay in a rented townhouse along with my fellow future marines. I wasn't even sure how I came to agree with this, since strangers certainly wasn't my forte, and living far away from my family was something i'm not used to because my whole life they have always been just there. But now, here I am. On my way to a new life. A new future.
Sitting here in my cabin and feeling the movement of the ship against the water, I felt anxious and at the same time composed. I start to think about how quiet it is being alone in my room with no one else to fill the silence. The truth is, when it gets really quiet, when silence gets too loud, i really start to doubt myself. Asking myself if i can do this or if im ready. But no body really knows the answer to those questions. Right?
It dawned on me that I am spending too much time stuffed in my room that i start to get all philosophical and shit. So I put on my plain gray hoodie and went out for a bit. As I was aimlessly exploring the ship I clumsily tripped over something.
I staggered to stand up so that i can apologize properly but when i looked up, I did not expect to see what i did. I saw her.
A/N: This is my first time writing and I hope you guys like it. Peace out peeps! \m/