Four days before christmas: Addison walks out through the open elevator doors, and breezes past Del.
"Nice to see you too," he says quietly as she stamps into her office.
She's rather quiet, or antisocial the rest of the day depending on how you look at it. Finally lunch rolls around. She finds herself sitting at the table eating a peanut butter sandwich, and hoping that noone talks to her. After a few minutes Violet and Naomi look at each other. Violet shrugs her shoulders and continues eating.
"Are you ok? You've been pretty quiet today," Naomi probes.
"I'm fine," she mumbles.
"Are you sure?"
She swallows the final bite of her sandwich, and then answers, "Yup." she gets up from the table. She throws away the crust of her bread, and a napkin on her way out the door. She heads from her the break room to her office. The end of the work day comes not a moment too soon. Addison is waiting for the elevator doors to close when a hand stops them, and Violet gets in.
Addison stares at her shoes.
"Are you ok?" Violet asks.
"Yes I'm fine," insists in a grumpy tone.
"Ok,"
Addison stares at her watch.
"Do you have any plans for Christmas?" Violet questions.
"Nope,"
"Well we have a little party at Naomi's every year after work on the twenty third. It's sunday at nine if you want to come,"
"I really can't I've got a ton to do,"
"Ok," Violet sighs as the elevator doors open and Addison brushes past her.
When she finally gets home she grows very impatient when she can't find her keys. Finally she pulls them out of a pocket in her purse and unlocks the door. She throws open the door and storms in. She shuts and locks the door behind her. She drops her stuff and slides down the door.
This was absolutely wonderful. She was alone on Christmas. That wasn't even the worst part. There were several things that were worse actually. How could this happen to her? You'd think that she'd be smarter, but obviously not. It didn't matter she was screwed any way you looked at it.
Flashback: Halloween: She didn't exactly understand how they could all be so cheerful. With the candy, and the smiles. She tried to put on a happy face. She hated being here. It wasn't at all what she thought that it was going to be. Oh well, she'd find a way to fix it. After work she went to some bar. She had a few too many drinks, and she didn't remember anything after that. She remembered waking up the next morning alone in her bed with no idea how she got home
End of flashback. --------------------------------------------------
Now this. She should have had it figured out much sooner, but the truth was sometimes she was an idiot. All the education in the world didn't prepare her for the real world. As tears flow down her cheeks she walks over to the answering machine. The light is flashing. She pushes the button, and immediately wishes that she hadn't. She hears several voices wishing her a merry Christmas.
Voices of her old friends, and them too. Especially her. The whore, of course was who she was talking about. She picks up the answering machine and forcefully throws it to the ground. It doesn't even get a scratch on it. She tries to wipe away the tears but they just keep coming. She wonders into the kitchen, and opens the fridge. She sees a beautiful bottle smiling back at her. She takes it out and unscrews the top. She smells it, and then walks over to the sink. She pours the mostly full bottle into the sink. She screws the lid back on once the contents are completely gone, and tosses it in the trash can.
Seven weeks had gone by, and she felt like time was standing still. That was, of course, until this morning. This morning was when she was smacked back into reality. When she flipped on the news before work she had seen the date. She hadn't even realized that it was winter. It was as if she had missed nearly two months of her life. And she had in a sense.
She stopped thinking about that morning, and was brought back into the present. She looked over at the door, and saw the ominous plastic bag. She didn't really need it to tell her anything, she already knew, but she had to be sure. She picks the bag up off the floor and goes into the bathroom. She turns on the water in the bathtub, undresses, and uses the bathroom. By this point the bathtub is half way full. She gets into the warm water, and closes her eyes momentarily. She turns off the water with her feet. And turns on the radio next to the bathtub. She closes her eyes and listens as she waits. Finally she reaches for a towel. She dries off her hand and turns off the radio. She pulls the plug on the tub, and gets out. She dries off, and puts on pajamas which consist of a t-shirt and a pair of boxers. She was in a very frumpy mood. She dries her hair, and heads for bed, even though it's only eight o'clock.
She sleeps undisturbed all night. She has crazy dreams, but it doesn't deter her from her ultimate goal of sleeping. She wakes up at seven thirty. She flips on the T.V. and is suddenly reminded of what a crappy day it is going to be. She turns the T.V. off, and goes to the bathroom. After seeing the answer she returns to her bedroom.
She immediately begins to kick herself.
"How could I have not known this by now?" she asks herself.
Seven weeks was a long time for her not to know. It was a long time for her not to even suspect. She definitely should have she felt crappy enough. She gets dressed, and goes in to work. Not to work, but for different reasons.
When she gets there she's relieved to find that there isn't anyone there. She finds what she's looking for. Not that it was an object, but she finds it just the same. Afterwards she goes into her office, and sits down at the desk. She doesn't even bother to turn the light on. She just stares down at her desk in her dark, quiet office. She hears the elevator ding. She hears the doors open, and close. She hears footsteps. She opens her drawer and brushes something from the surface of her desk into the drawer. As she shuts the drawer she sees Naomi walk by. Naomi stops and takes a few steps back. She turns and looks at Addison's office. She squints and then moves toward the door. She opens the door flips on the lights and steps in.
"What are you doing here?" Naomi asks.
"Just sitting here," Addison replies.
"In the dark?"
"I can think better in the dark," Addison tells her.
"What were you thinking about?"
"I was trying to figure out a way to reorganize my files. Wait what are you doing here?"
"I came to get Maya's presents,"
"Why are Maya's presents here?"
"Because she's a teenager and if I don't hide them she finds them,"
"Why couldn't you keep them at Sam's?"
"Because she was at Sam's this week,"
"Oh,"
"Why are you really here Addison?"
"Just going over a few things,"
"Like what?"
"Just some files,"
"Ok,"
Naomi leaves the room. After retrieving Maya's Christmas presents she finds that Addison is gone.
When Addison returns home she collapses on her bed. She closes her eyes and hopes that when she opens them it will all just have been a dream. But instead when she opened her eyes she just felt terrible.
"This is great," she says aloud as she heads toward the bathroom.
While she was brushing her teeth she tried to think back. She couldn't remember.
Flashback: That morning it was raining. She remembered that it was raining. This time it was just sprinkling actually. But it was grey and disgusting looking. She remembered the smell.
As she remembers the smell she nearly chokes while brushing her teeth. She's able to regain her composure, and continue to try to remember that day.
She remembers the smell of cologne. Not a cheap cologne, but definitely a strong one. She reaches over and feels nothing but a warm void. She feels the cold, and pulls the sheet up. Her toes stick out from under the sheet. She sits up and feels cool, clean air from the a/c hitting the swab of her naked back. She looks on the floor and sees her clothes from the previous night.
End of flashback.
That's all she can remember. For some reason she can't for the life of her remember the night before. Between her first drink, and waking up there was nothing at all. Not even pieces of anything. She rinses her toothbrush off in the sink, and puts it back in the medicine cabinet.
What was she going to do now? That was the damning question. Was there a good answer? Probably, but she didn't know what it was yet. She knew what she was going to do, but she just didn't know how she was going to get there.