No Discrimination

Chapter 1!: The introduction, folks!

Warnings: shonen-ai, shojo-ai, het, cuteness, smoking, drinking, explicit lang., stupidity.

Summary: Digimon AU, no digimon(kinda), very funny...Matt and TK live together(alone) in Japan. Why is Yolei a cat? OMG, Joe's getting fat! Davis has a fascination with collarbones! Why is Davis wearing a bra? Read now!

Written by: Everfire and Fogdragon23

Also, just so you know there will be every type of pairing possible later on, however there is no pairings yet.

Some of the aspects of this story have been taken from other anime we watch...so we took plots from other stuff and rewrote it with these characters. Also we may add things in from our real life.

Disclaimer: We do not own Digimon or the plot bunnies. You can't sue now...

Hello. My name is Yamatto. As you can see by the many rock posters and my beautiful blonde hair, I am a regular American 16-year-old girl.

That was a lie. In reality I am a beautiful blonde-haired Japanese college student. Also not a girl. I just look very youthful. Right now I am relaxing in my room and smoking a cig. Or I would be smoking one if I had any...

Hang on a sec...100 yen, 150 yen,...200 yen,...200,...damn. I'm going to have to beg, aren't I? Well anyway, time for me to introduce you to our family vault, I mean...I shall now show you my cute and precious younger brother.

That couch potato there, is my brother, TK. He has some of my beautiful looks, but he tends to hide it under the ugliest hat I have EVER seen. He likes to watch TV, shop, and hoard loads of money. His main characteristic is that he has no characteristic.

"What did you just say?"

"Nothing." I am really good at sounding innocent.

"You are not."

"Shut up."

I take this opportune moment to carefully place myself between TK and the electronic looking-glass. "Gimme money now, it's a family emergency. Your life depends on it."

He blinks at me semi-innocently, "What?"

"Don't talk back, hand it over," I reach out demandingly.

"No." He can really be negative sometimes. No more Mr. demand nicely guy. I leap forward and attempt to borrow the money from his wallet manually. At this moment, however, a bushy tanned body zoomed though TK's bedroom window.

"What are you guys doing here?" The object asks mildly. Is the kid really this stupid?

"I could ask the same of you...this is my house." I let myself trail off to prove my point. I look back at my prey...he is trying to escape. "That's my brother." I compliment.

"Now is not the time to be impressed!" Davis shouts latching on to something, I'm sure.

By the way, the idiot before me is Davis. Sweet, stupid, gender confused Davis. He likes soccer, soccer, and...soccer. Not a very deep kid. Before I can completely apprehend the desired money the doorbell tones. Nice timing. I am very popular today.

"You are not. It's probably Yolei and Kari," says my prey.

"Stop being a smart-ass." I reply.

Without further ado, all of us rush toward the door. Davis, both because he's fast and because his heart is on the other side of the door, gets there first. I can already hear their complaining.

"Kari didn't label her pudding properly!" I really can hear their complaining now, because they really are complaining already. On the other side of that front door was the bane of my composure. Cute little girls. Two cute crying little girls. Well, at least Kari is crying.

"She... she...she ate MY pud...pud..ding," Kari hiccups cutely.

Ah, the simple dilemmas of youth. "Don't worry, TK will help me buy your pudding and my cigarettes."

"WHAT?!" screams my sweet loving little investment.

"Buy me pudding too," demands the tanned monkey.

"No." I break it to him gently.

"This is discrimination! CUTENESS DISCRIMINATION!" He thinks this will change things, ri-ght. A few seconds later, he is flat on the floor and I continue my life.

Most of the chibis run along to TK's room, minus Davis. I wander up to my room to relax in the 9th grader free zone. I enter the room and lift up my box of relaxation sticks. It's empty. Still. Oh yeah, that's why I was being so nice to TK.

"TK!" I plead to the door.

"How much do you need?" Comes his muffled reply.

"About 5000 yen."

"Quit smoking."

"I NEED those, You don't know the stress that a college student has to go through. Why just yesterday..."

"If I give you some yen will you go away?" He rudely interrupts.

"Yes!" He opens the door and gives me 100 yen. I look at this in puzzlement. "I seem to remember asking for more." I murmur to myself, the only one that listens.

Page break

"We now begin our great and wonderful and great quest." Davis announced as soon as TK closed the door.

"What?" TK questioned looking both confused and unimpressed.

"We, the heros, will now go forth and search out the powerful, magical item Pud-Ding. Whoever gets it first will get a kiss from the beautiful princess Kari."

"Don't decide things on your own!" Kari yelled.

"Your on." TK agreed quickly.

Yolei looked rather upset. "What about me?"

"Well, I suppose you can go on the quest, too, Yolei. I mean it's not as though me having more competition is going to change the outcome."

"Yeah, your still gonna lose." TK spat.

"Who said I was going to kiss any of you?" Kari quipped.

"You have to; it's been decided. Besides all princesses do it." Davis stated.

"I wanna be a princess too!" Yolei whined.

"I Don't!" Kari snapped back.

"But you're such a cute princess." TK flattered.

"Oh, TK, really..." Kari waved her hand and looked disapproving. Her face began to heat up, though.

"HEY!" Davis screamed.

"I must go and get your pudding, my princess." TK bowed with a flourish.

"TK your only giving him more ideas..." Kari shook her head in reproach.

"I WANT PUDDING TOO!" Yolei broke in.

"ME TOO!" Davis yelled.

TK wagged his finger at Davis and Yolei, "Your not a princess who is cute and gonna kiss me."

"I'll kiss you, TK." Yolei offered quickly.

Davis agreed, "I could, too."

"..." Everyone sat for a moment, in silence.

"WHAT?" TK suddenly shattered the calm.

"I could." Davis said sullenly, looking away.

"Why, though?" Kari asked, blinking.

" 'Cause I want pudding." Davis's bottom lip protruded slightly, in a pout.

"Wow, Davis." Yolei mocked.

"You were gonna do it, too, Yolei." Davis retorted.

"So?" TK sounded exasperated.

"Well you don't like him." Yolei said matter-of-factly.

Davis looked offended, "Who says so?"

"Do you?" Kari looked awed.

"NO...but you don't either." Davis pointed an accusing finger at Yolei.

Long pause.

"Soooo...are we going to go get pudding, or what?" Kari began, walking toward the door.

TK stood up to follow, "Umm. Yeah."

"Away we go on our great and wonderful adventure." Davis leaped up and announced.

"Whatever you say, Davis" Yolei shook her head as she joined the others at the door.

"Hey, TK, bet I can reach the door first," challenged Davis as he rammed TK into the banister.

"Ow, hey!" reacted TK as he fought to regroup.

"Don't be stupid, Davis," commented Yolei, sure of herself, "TK would never-!"

TK sped down the stairwell and shouted, "Bet you can't!"

"Idiot," said Yolei shortly.

"Just hope they don't break down the front door," thought Kari aloud.

Thunk! "Ow!" Came Davis' voice from the lobby.

The girls rushed down the stairs to behold a horrific sight. "Um, Davis," said Kari softly, not believing her eyes.

TK backed away slowly. "Uh...let's take the back door!"

"Yep," chipped-in Yolei.

"Meet yah there," agreed Kari quickly as they joined him.

After a fruitful trip to the nearest vending machine, Matt leisurely approached the facade of his apartment building. A sharp shrieking sound erupted form the other side of the hollow door. 'No,' thought Matt, 'there is no way that I am involved in this. Someone just forgot to pay their rent and is not associated with me in any way.' Cautiously, he opened the wooden door.