No, don't ask me why she's leaving. I don't know either.
Hello. This is my first story for iCarly, and I really, really, really hope I did well enough for the fandom (if there is still one…I'm sure there are still fans out there like myself, but the show's been wrapped up for a while now, so…). Anyway, I still love the show and it was just recently I got inspired to write.
Anyway, Sam might be a little OOC. Well, maybe a lot, or possibly not at all; I guess that would depend on how you view her. Honestly, I sorta think that she's got a hidden, serious side when things are really bad, like the situation in this story, but she genuinely cares about her friends more than anything. But that's just my opinion.
Disclaimer: Seriously, this is my first friggin' story in the fandom, how the heck can I have copyright of the show? In other words, I don't own iCarly.
She does not even try to sugar coat it, leaving her words raw, harsh and cutting. She ignores the pouring rain that beats on the glass windows and she ignores the flashing lightning and the cracking thunder.
The only thing she pays attention to are the two people that matter the most in her life. She watches the change that overcomes the pretty girl in a skirt and the techy boy in a jacket as she tells them what she hopes will not crush them, but knows in her heart that it will.
She is leaving. Her home. Ridgeway. Seattle. Them. Their lives. And she isn't coming back. Ever.
She watches their faces change from concern to shock at her message. She gives them the reason when they ask, and then explains it further when they don't understand. They go through it again and again and again, and still, they keep asking her to explain. They try to think of and suggest other options; she tells them there are none. Again and again and again…
"Enough." She finally says. She knows they do not need another explanation, another argument, she knows that they understand. They are smart, smarter than her, and she isn't as dumb as she makes herself out to be.
They keep talking and asking not because they do not comprehend it, but because they do not accept it. Because they truly can't or because they refuse to, she does not know. The line between the two is blurred and both are grey possibilities, but it does not change the fact that they don't.
If they don't accept it now, then they will later. But for her, time is running out and she cannot stay any longer than she already has.
"You can't change it. This is goodbye." She says, and swiftly makes her way out the door.
"Sam, wait!" the girl with dark hair calls out, her voice cracking, as she tries to catch her as she leaves. "Isn't there another way?"
But the door has already slammed shut and she is in the hallway, heading for the staircase that will take her down to the lobby and out of their lives forever. Just the way it has to be.
She curses as she hears two sets of footsteps follow a door banging shut.
"Sam!" Another voice, this time a boy's, calls out to her as she starts spiralling down the rectangular staircase, and she looks over her shoulder to see the two brunettes running to catch up with her.
"Please, Sam…" he tries again when their eyes connect, but she ducks away as she takes a turn, her feet taking smaller, quicker steps. The two behind her scramble to reach her and she mentally berates them for even trying. They all know she is the fastest on her feet out of the three.
After several flights of stairs, the steps that followed her disappear, and she sighs. They finally left. Good. She paces herself a bit slower, careful not to slip as she descends. From the few windows that she passes, she can still hear the tapping of water and a few flashes of lightning illuminate her way down.
Finally, she comes to the last flight of stairs and she heavily places both feet on the ground. Each step she takes forward is sure and solid as her feet makes contact with the tiled floor. She tries, for she wants to be as unwavering as her decision.
She walks steadily out of the lone, empty hallway, anticipating the abandoned loft that is her exit. But, as she rounds a corner, she sees two shadows waiting at the end. A boy and a girl.
Damn. She forgot about the elevator.
When she emerges from the hallway and they come face to face with each other, she pauses several meters away from them, giving them blank stares, while inside she feels a stir of emotions. Regret, anger, concern, sadness, understanding…
…Love.
But she is not conflicted, at least with her choice. Her decision is unwavering, and she tells them as much with her steady gaze, forcing them to face the reality that is their lives.
It does nothing to change them.
She still has her arms wrapped around her waist, some form of defensive gesture from the physical blow that will never come, only the pain. Her entire frame is shaking, from her knees to her shoulders, in fear of what her friend is about to do. Tears are running down her pretty face, which is contorted in denial.
He is rigid and tense, one foot slightly in front of the other, turning his entire torso to the side, as if he is trying to shield himself. The muscles on his neck are showing, and his hands are clenched into the tight fists, the only part of him that is shaking. His teeth are gritted in anger, but his eyelashes are wet.
Both of their dark eyes are glimmering with salty water, begging the one with blue irises 'Please, don't do this…'
"There's nothing that can be done." She answers their unspoken request, her voice emotionless, trying to make this less painful than it has to be. For all of them.
"No, that's not true!" She shouts defiantly, her arms slicing the space in front of her, as if that will make a difference. Her voice takes on a pleading note, a begging note. "There's still a way, we can find a way, please…"
Lightning flashes from the outside, and the loud, cutting thunder follows not two seconds later. None of them flinches from the sound.
"Let me rephrase that." Her voice is tinted with sarcasm, the same sarcasm that they know and love her for, and she can see in their faces a hint of hope because of it, hope that she crushes with her next words. "There's nothing you can do."
He takes a step towards her, almost menacingly, and she takes a step closer to the exit in response. His eyes quickly dart to her feet, seeing where she is heading, and he stops moving. But he returns his eyes to her face, searching for something, anything, that will show that she is having second thoughts. She makes sure that he finds none.
"How can you just stand there?" He yells, and a flash of lightning reveals the depth of anger he has in his eyes. But she knows that that anger is not directed towards her, at least not entirely. Deep down, they both know that it is directed at circumstance. For that is what they are, victims of circumstance. "Does everything that's happened between us mean nothing to you?"
His words hit harder than she thought it would, and she closes her eyes tightly in pain. She can already see everything the three of them have gone through together, the tears, the laughter, the sadness, the joy. She slowly opens her eyes to glare at him, at them, ignoring the sting of tears that refuse to fall.
"They mean everything to me…" She says slowly, watching as the weight of her words fall on their shoulders, shocked at the emotion she has put into them. Her glare softens into a gentle look, and she puts as much meaning as her voice will allow her to with her next words. "…You mean everything to me..."
She watches their eyes lose whatever anger they held, replaced by astonishment and tenderness and affectionthat makes her want to put her arms around both of them and tell them that everything will be okay. But she can't. She can't hurt the only girl she's ever trusted and the only boy she's ever loved by giving them the false hope that she can stay.
"That's why I have to do this…" She hardens her gaze and steels her voice to the point that it cuts like a razor and draws blood across the faces of the ones she cares about, and they break right before her eyes.
It is painful, but they need to accept it now, so she continues. "…and there is nothing you can do to stop me."
The girl sways and clutches onto the boy, trying to regain balance, as silent sobs wrack her shoulders. The boy puts a hand on her arm to support her, but even he cannot stop his form from shaking. They both look at her desperately, pleading and begging. Their faces, once so full of mirth and laughter, are marred with utter defeat and hurt and there is nothing stopping the tears from falling violently down their eyes in steady streams.
Her friends, broken and defeated, are a sight that she cannot bear to watch, but she endures and etches it into her memory. She wants to take it to her grave, for it will be her only reminder of why she had to do what she's about to do. Because this is nothing compared to the consequences of her staying.
When she can take it no more, she whirls in a fire of blonde curls and piercing blue eyes and walks through the double doors that are the exit to the builder. Her exit from their lives, and from her own.
"Sam!" Both Carly and Freddie yell desperately at the same time, rushing forward. In that single word is their hope for her return, to complete the family she has become a part of, to fill the hole in their hearts that they made for her.
But they are too late, for their spoken plea is drowned in the rolling thunder, and the rain falls down harder and thicker than it ever did before, and Sam can no longer be seen.
So…what do you think? Since this is my first story for iCarly, I'd really love some feedback for it. Please? But that's really up to you, so I won't force it.
Note: Like I said in the above, I DON'T know why she's leaving. I've left it open ended for a reason, so people can come with their own conclusions. With that, I'd like to say that this is a ONESHOT, I have no plans continuing this unless inspired. Frankly, I don't do well with multi-chaps so don't get your hopes up.
Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read this, and I hope that it was worth it, even just a little.