Chapter One
Harry, your dad was a dick
The night was warm, the street was dark. Two figures ran down the london street, dodging the lights from the street lamps as they went.
"Hurry, they're right behind us." Whispered the one on the left, her olive skin shining in the moonlight.
"This is why I'm in charge of planning." Snapped the other girl, her gray eyes flashing in anger as her heart shaped faced wrinkled with frustration.
"You really want to do this now," Holly whispered back angrily, "do you think they got Leo?"
"How does one even get a ghost?" Diana answered, her nonchalant hiding her fear that ]v he had indeed been caught by the ministry men chasing them.
"They don't"
Came the answer from right behind her. Diana almost shrieked, but managed to stop herself from giving away their position as she spotted the gray translucent figure of a teenage boy in bell bottoms coming out of the wall behind them.
"Where have you been?" She said angrily, hiding relief behind her anger.
"Floating around. But you should probably run faster. They really are right behind you."
Just then a spell whizzed through his incorporeal form and right past Diana's left ear. She grabbed Holly's hand and together they ran around a corner onto the next street. Grimmauld Street, read the sign.
They were too out of breath for words but Diana seemed to recognize her surrounding and started pulling her friend over to a gap between the houses.
"What are you doing," gasped Holly, "there's nothing there, they'll catch us."
"Trust me." Was all she replied before pulling her onto the empty lawn of number 11.
"Look, I know you're bad at math," she said pointing to the house in front of them, "but here's number 11," she pointed to the house next to them, "and there's number 13. What's missing?"
Holly took moment to think, then it dawned on her. "Number 12!" She cried excitedly, and as she did so another door appeared out of nowhere.
"How does that work" Leo asked, watching in amazement as the house appeared out of no where.
"Magic and shit." Replied Diana, pulling her friend up to the door and rushing inside without knocking.
They emerged into damp smelling room, darkly lit.
"Kreature!" Called Diana, her voice echoing through the wooden halls.
"What?" Holly asked, completely baffled by the turn of events.
Before Diana could reply a small figure came shuffling down the corridor. As he neared they saw a dusty old house elf with an incredulous expression on its face.
"Awesome, you're not dead." Exclaimed Diana in relief, "bring us some tea. Two cups please, stronger for my ghostly friend."
Kreature stared at her for a moment, "Mistress Diana has returned to Kreature?"
"That's not what I told you to call me."
Kreature bowed low to the ground, "Mistress Diana, princess of awesome, has returned!" He intoned solemnly.
A door opened on the left, letting in a beam of light. A bushy haired head pokeout, "What was that noise?" asked the young girl in a sweet tone.
Her eyes went wide as she saw the three of them standing there with the old house elf.
"Who are you?" Demanded the strange girl.
"Um, excuse me, what the frickity frack are you doing in my house?"
"This is the noble and most ancient house of black, and it belongs to Sirius."
Diana drew herself up to her full 1.7 meters "Well I am Diana Rose Black, daughter of Regulus Black, last heir to the Black name so it's mine, and you can leave."
At that point there was a pounding of feet and several other wizards ran into the hall, wands at the ready.
"Okay, I'm going to need all of you to leave now." Said Diana
Sirius Black pushed his way past the others and as soon as she saw him she ran forward and tackled him in a hug.
"Uncle Sirius! It's so nice to meet you for the first time ever. Now get out of my house." With her last words she pushed him away and crossed her arms.
"Who are you?" asked Sirius, a look of confusion on his face.
Dumbledore put his hand on Sirius's shoulder, "These children look famished, let's move into the kitchen where we can sit and discuss with some food. My dear Kreature, I believe someone mentioned tea."
Everyone shuffled slowly into the well lit kitchen, the two groups careful to avoid each other. Diana dragged Holly over to the comfiest chairs at the head of the table where Kreature brought them two cups of steaming hot tea that they gulped down gratefully.
"Thank you Kreature. You can take the rest of the night off."
"Thank you mistress Diana." He replied, bowing again
"That's not my name." She whispered under her breath as he walked away.
Once the others had sat themselves around the wooden table Dumbledore spread his hands and spoke first.
"So, you claim to be the daughter of the late Regulus."
"I don't claim anything, it's the truth. How else could I have seen the house."
"I heard he'd had a daughter, but I assumed You-Know-Who had killed her when he killed my brother." Added Sirius, staring at her with wonder.
"Oh that guy, he didn't want anyone to know about me because yall lame. So I grew up here with Nana until she died. I've moved around a lot since then but I'm still a Black and I own this house. So and your little club need to move out cause, I call bagsies on the house."
"The will clearly states that this house was left to Sirius," said Dumbledore, "so we're staying. Besides," he added, "I called Bagsies on this house years ago."
"You're not a Black, you can't call bagsies," refuted Diana, "and Sirius isn't even on the wall. If you're not on the wall you're not family. It's the official family wall. I would take you to court, but since both of us are wanted by the Ministry that would be a bad idea."
"What do you want us to pay rent?" asked Remus sarcastically
Diana glanced at her partner and they nodded at each other.
"That would work."
"I was joking. We're not going to pay to stay in Sirius's own house." He said at the same time Dumbledore said, "How's Ten Galleons sound?"
"Twenty sounds better."
"Done."
They shook hands.
"Yes, Twenty a month sounds perfect." She said with a sly smile.
"So are you really as big of a dick as Leo says you were?" asked Holly.
"Who's Leo?" Sirius asked
"ME!" cried the ghost boy, jumping out from the solid wall right in front of him, arms above his head, "You know, that guy you hid behind like a bitch when that death eater tried to kill you. Yeah, he got me instead."
"I have no memory of that happening" said Sirius.
"Well you know what, You suck, and the Order of the Phoenix sucks."
"What's the Order of the Phenix" asked Holly innocently.
"It's pretty much an army Dumbledore organized that has no legal authority." answered Leo, petulantly
"Ok so like at 16 you tried to kill some dude called Severus and at 18 you get Leo killed." said Diana "You know what you needed azkaban"
Sirius get up and walked to Diana as if to slap her.
Diana yelled, "Kreature protect me from this mad man!"
Everyone froze, but nothing happened. After a few moments Diana hit her palm against her forehead.
"Oh right, I gave him the night off. Why do I have to be so damn nice."
She turned to Leo, "Quick use your ghostly presence on him!"
Leo turned to Sirius and looked him in the eyes.
"Boo." he said flatly, face expressionless.
"Enough of this nonsense," said Dumbledore, "now that we have the living arrangement sorted why don't we all get to bed. You two look like you need it."
Diana took Holly's hand and with Leo following a few steps behind she led the way up the familiar staircase. At the second floor landing there were two boys, one with red hair, and one with black peering out at them from a doorway.
"Who are you?" Demanded Diana
"I'm Harry, and this is Ron."
"Harry, as in Harry Potter?" Leo stepped through the two girls so he stood in front of the black haired boy
Really you knew my father" Asked Harry intrigued.
"Yeh I knew your father was in same year as him I was. He was an absolute dick" said Leo
Holly and Diana burst out in laughter and walk past a stunned looking Harry and Ron.