The year is 1998, Warner Bros. against the pleas of countless fan's and the shows creators deemed the Warner sibs unfit for TV audiences in the new century. Fearing retaliation from the Warner's the new studio executives ordered their films be scattered amongst smaller networks and the siblings locked permanently away in the water tower never to be seen again. There they remained until one day…. When the Warner's escaped!

(Singing) It's time for Animaniacs
And we're zany to the max
So just sit back and relax
You'll laugh 'til you collapse
We're animan-iacs

Come join the warner brothers
And the Warner sister, Dot
Just for fun we run around the Warner movie lot
They lock us in the tower
Whenever we get caught
But we break loose and then vamoose
and now you know the plot

We're animaniacs
Dot is cute and Yakko yaks
Wakko packs away the snacks
While Bill Clinton plays the sax
We're Animaniacs

Meet Pinky and the Brain who want to rule the universe
Good Feathers flock together, Slappy whacks 'em with her purse
Buttons chases Mindy while Rita sings a verse
The writers flipped we have no script why bother to rehearse

We're animaniacs
We have pay or play contracts
We're zany to the max
There's baloney in our snacks
We're animany
Totally insaney
Angry Dick Cheney

A-n-I-m-a-n-I-a-c-s
Those are the facts.

We enter into a luxurious library brimming with the finest literary selections mankind has to offer, Dickens, Plato, Faulkner, and Cosmo. Seated upon a red velvet chair trimmed in a brilliant gold, Yakko Warner idly thumbs through a book. Brother and sister Wakko and Dot sit transfixed on Yakko adorned in his disaterpiece theater garb. "Tonight dear viewers we've selected quite the intriguing tale." Yakko slowly takes a drag from his bubble pipe looking out at the audience then back to his siblings. "Has it got a mean hairy Ogre?" Wakko twists his face as though to portray the very creature of which he speaks. "Or a fairy princes." Dot flutters her eyelashes and inches forward waiting on Yakkos reaction. "Unfortunately due to legal constraints our tale tonight will not feature such characters screaming for a parody." Yakko turns to the camera, clearly with no respect for the third wall. "Between you and me we're lucky to get away with anything now when these wonderful new network censors are here." "What's the story about?!" "Well dear siblings that is what we are about to find out." Yakko begins reading.

"Our story begins in a not too far way time in a not too far away land. Possibly New Jersey or New England judging from the disgruntled drivers and pollution. Here on a little island called Shamity our story shall start but before it ends it'll be far from a thick plot."

Mr. Director prances down a powdery white beach back lit by the setting sun. "A true comedic genius must occasionally take an evening swim to clear his mind of artistic impulse." He hastily tosses his blue suit and pants aside to reveal a swim cap and accompanying Speedo. "My what a beautiful evening. This would be the perfect place to shoot my next film….Sandy the lonely horseshoe crab." Paddling slowly away from the shore line Mr. Director stops for a quick breath looking back towards the rapidly fading sun. "Ahh…this is the life no spooky puppy dog children in sight, no anvils or crazy gags, just me and my genius thoughts." Out of no where Mr. Director submerges the camera franticly pans around to discover his whereabouts. He appears several feet away gasping for air. "What was that?! Oye, please no more of the creepy dragging under the water!" A look of sheer terror planted on his face as he treads water transfixed on whatever horrible creature lurks beneath. Again he's suddenly thrust across the water all the while screaming. "Please, Oh please don't let me be eaten! Froynlaven! I am not as tasty as I look! Please stop with the dragging and the chewing! Managing one final froynlaven Mr. Director was dragged beneath the surf.

The next Morning…

A small grey cat accompanied by cream colored dog wandered along the soft white sand. Rita knew they wouldn't last long out here once the sun was up. The sand was already starting to burn her soft white paws. "Rita?" Runt stopped mesmerized by something ahead. "Huh, what is it Runt?" "What's that big thing over there?" Runt tilted his head toward a large billboard just up ahead of the pair. "It's a billboard for something." The two approached the sign to get a better look. Rita looking up read the sign: "SHAMITY ISLAND WELCOMES YOU." Beneath that was a picture of some fat guy, possibly Ralph in a dinghy. "Eckk." Rita cringed at the sight of it. "Seriously…humans have no sense of modesty." She thought to herself as Runt sniffed the air scampering away toward whatever alluring smell lay ahead. "Is there ever a moment of rest with this mutt?" "Rita!, Rita! I found something. Yea definitely found something." Panting- "What is it this time Runt, another piece of drift wood?" As Rita slowly caught her breath she spotted her companions find. "Wha-What is it Rita?" "I don't know!…Looks like a big pile of sh-" Rita stopped mid sentence as the mound of what appeared to be seaweed rustled. Her sense of imminent danger grew as the mound crept closer. Runt throwing caution to the wind grabbed a thick strand of kelp from the pile playfully tugging at it. "Wait Runt it could be dangerous!" The strand of kelp unexpectedly broke revealing a human.

Rita could feel her heart thundering through her white chest fur, the abrupt act of this strange looking human falling from a thick kelp mound coupled with chasing Runt were about all her little body could take. Besides that it wasn't getting any cooler out here as the sun hovered above, cruelly chastising the pair with it's sizzling ray's. "Rita it's a mermaid! Oh boy oh boy, I wonder if he's got a little lobster friend?" Rita shot her companion a look of disdain as she approached the human. He looked harmless enough, with disproportionate facial features like a cartoon, but still nothing screamed danger to her. Cautiously she gently poked the humans shoulder. "POOOSSSSSH!" A stream of sea water jetted from the humans mouth directly into Rita face. "Wonderful…just what I needed a nice bath." Runt looked puzzled for a moment. "But Rita you said you hate water. Yep definitely hate it." She held back her growing anger, unfortunately her sarcasm was often lost on her dimwitted friend.

"Oye Hello!" The limp Mr. Director sprang to life jumping out of his comatose state sending the pair back in fear. "Aw how cute! Look it's a little Kitten and Puppy Dog!" The humans shrill voice was like grinding sand paper and twisted metal dragged across a chalkboard to Rita's sensitive ears. Clenching her jaw Rita saw no reason why she shouldn't claw that stupid look off this schmucks face. "Kitten?…Who the heck does he think he is calling me a kitten?! Why I otta…" "Woof!" Runt lept up on the human slobbering all over his face. "Terrific!" Rita thought to herself, although she couldn't help but admire her dumb companions loving behavior toward anyone even when they were planning to do him harm. "Ahahaah your so friendly puppy! I'll call you Mr. Woofer's! Where's your little friend? Oye there she is! Spotting Rita before she could sneak away. Mr. Director scooped the two up squeezing them in an Elmyraesque fashion. "Thank you ever so much for finding me!" He let go of the pair. "I thought for sure I was a goner. With the water and the pushing and the pulling and the Froynlaven!" Mr. Director looked over the pair. "What are you two doing out here all alone?" Could this be it? Their chance to finally find a home. However irritating this human was it would still be a place for the two of em', with food a bed and a nice big backyard for Runt. Rita thought to herself as she waited for the human to extend his hospitality. "Oh that's right you two can't talk…Well I must be going I'm needed in Hollywood for my next big project! Good luck you two!"

Mr. Director ran out of sight over the sand dunes in his Speedo flaying his arms around shouting Froynlaven. Her heart sank as the lunatic faded from view. She struggled to keep her composure for fear of frightening Runt. "Eh, Figures" Rita softly spoke as she licked her paw in disgust. "Wow what a great guy! Huh Rita…I bet we'll meet more nice people out here!" Rita shook her head. "How can he stay so upbeat at a time like this?" "Runt we still don't have zip, zilch, nadda! No home no food…nothing plus we're stuck on this stupid island!" Runt gazed at her with his big saucer shaped eye's clearly upset by his friends comments. "But Rita-" "Typical human! Tooo busy to take in a couple of strays. Makes me sick."

(Singing)

We've been from Bangkok to Barbados on this ball of dirt.

Still nothing ever seems to be what it's worth.

We're better of alone without no stinkin' humans.

They say they like you and tell you nice things

But nothing' turns out like your dreams

We don't ever need no stinkin' humans

We'll go it alone like we always do

Probably never find a place for me and you

It's always the same thing with those stinkin' humans.

"Uh Rita?" "What is it now Runt?!" Rita realized she'd frightened her friend with the out burst and put her paw on his shoulder. "I'm sorry Runt it's just always the same thing happens to us wherever we go." "It's ok Rita. I know your upset." Runts calm demeanor and understanding surprised even her. "How could he be so compassionate after the way I yelled at him?" "But there's a town up there. Yep definitely a town." Runt tilted his head towards the beach ahead of them. Rita could make out the small tiled roofs and white picket fences of a quaint New England town bordered by the towering masts of schooners. "Well Runt" Patting him on the head. "I think our luck might of just finally changed."

To be continued….