AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is a tag for the S3 episode "Vigilante". I don't write much Helen and Will, but this just sort of...came to me and seemed...plausible. :) I don't own anything of Sanctuary or its characters, my words however are my own. Thanks to MajorSam for being the best Beta in the universe (jack rabbit fast!) ;)
Moments
(Copyright 2011, by NoCleverSig)
Her hand shook.
She covered it quickly, folding her fingers together tightly, smiling at him, keeping up a brave front, hoping he hadn't noticed. But he noticed everything. It was one of the reasons she chose him. One of the reasons he was her protégé.
She looked tired, he thought, still bruised from her fight with Worth, but more than that she seemed…
Fragile.
The realization stunned him into silence. Helen Magnus was many things; brilliant, beautiful, confident, capable, but not frail, not easily broken. Not until now. Not until tonight. Tonight she was vulnerable and weak and sick and…
Dying.
Christ Jesus, no! He couldn't lose her.
The realization that this was his first thought shocked him speechless, something she'd likely interpret as 'companionable silence' as they sat in her office, side by side. He wasn't ready for her to leave, couldn't possibly fill her shoes. The last few days had proved that to him and everyone around him. But that's not why he was upset, his stomach suddenly reeling. If he was honest with himself, and it seemed now was the time to be, it wasn't because she was just his friend.
She was something more. What that something was, when it had happened, and what she would think about it if she knew he didn't know. What he did know is that tomorrow they would leave for the city, their one hope of finding a cure, and if that failed….
He lifted his eyes to look at her. She was watching her hands, her blue eyes dim and distant, lost in thought. Was she thinking of Worth? The city? Her illness?
Was she thinking of John?
How did one contend with emotions that spanned centuries? That defied all logic?
She would never admit it, not to him, perhaps not even to herself, but she was still in love with Druitt. He'd seen it in her eyes as surely as if she had spoken the words out loud when John had told her that he loved her, before the energy creature took him over once more.
'For all eternity,' Druitt had said.
How does a man compete with forever?
He saw it again in her face, her expression, when Tesla admitted John was alive and that he knew where he was. Her anger said it all. Yes, she needed to find Druitt because he had information that they needed. But the truth was she just needed to find him. She just…needed him.
The thought made his heart sink.
He knew she had had other lovers. She had said as much to him. She was too beautiful, too vibrant, too captivating to be alone all these years, but…
Would she ever look at him with the expression he saw when she looked at Druitt? Could she?
He swallowed hard, his heart beating its way out of his chest.
She was dying…
He closed his eyes and breathed in. Life was full of choices, of defining moments that changed us, who we were and who we would be. This was his time.
Slowly, he reached his arm across the chairs, laid the back of his hand to her cheek, and caressed her. She was warm, and soft, and beautiful, even in illness.
Magnus turned and smiled at him, assuming it was an act of friendship, a comforting gesture, a…
Her smile faded.
The air in the room grew still and thick. Her eyes searched his, questioning. He returned her gaze with what he meant to be answers. After a moment, her expression softened, her blue eyes widened, and her lips slightly parted in affirmation.
He moved toward her, turning his hand to cup her cheek. She mirrored his movement, hesitantly at first, shyly, her eyes flicking from his eyes to his lips and back again.
When they were a breath away, she stopped.
"Will…I'm…"
"It's all right," he said. "I understand."
He waited. This was her moment now.
She moved forward, closing her eyes as she did so, leaning in to him. He would remember later only softness, warmth, sweetness, and a heat that seared from his chest to his groin at the touch of her lips against his.
They broke apart. She opened her eyes searching his face, searching her own thoughts, her feelings. He waited for her to make her choice. Then he felt her hands come up and frame his face, one on each side. She moved toward him again, her lips smooth and supple as they glided across his, her mouth open, her tongue hesitantly reaching out to touch him. He opened in response to her, searching for her as well, exchanging a heated, gentle breath. He moved his hand to her head kneading her long, soft hair, stroking it with his fingers.
After a moment, she pulled away. Her face was flushed, her pupils black, her chest moving up and down with slow, deep breaths.
"Will," she said quietly, carefully. "I need to think…I need time to…"
He covered her hands with his hands. "I know. We'll talk later. After we find Hollow Earth. After we locate the city." He reached a hand up to her head and smoothed her hair back. "After we make you well."
She smiled slightly, nodded, got up, and slipped away, conflicted.
He sat in the chair a long time after she left, his hands folded in thought.
Life was full of choices, of defining moments that changed us, who we were and who we would be.
Whatever came of this one, he would have no regrets.
END