You Still Have All Of Me
"The world is not a wish granting factory." -The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
Albus was sleeping. He was always sleeping now. It was rare anyone saw his eyes open anymore. When his eyes did open, it was only for a short while.
Lily's asked many times why he's always sleeping when she comes to visit. Ginny's never known what to say to her. A Healer told her it was because his body was trying to heal itself and that happened by sleep, just like when she got a cold and needed rest to feel better. Ginny wasn't sure that was the whole story, but it comforted Lily.
Today, Ginny was the only one in the room with her son.
Harry had gone to work with James and Lily, who had special permission to go with him. Kingsley said they needed a day to get their minds off everything else. James had smiled, really smiled, for the first time in weeks when Harry told them the previous day after dinner.
Ginny sat on the edge of Albus' bed and brushed his hair off his forehead. He didn't move a muscle. She sighed.
"Leo misses you, Al." she said quietly, running her hand through his hair. Leo was Albus' loyal and very sweet Barn Owl. "So do we, buddy."
He had been admitted to St. Mungo's almost a month ago. They didn't think he would make it through the night. Harry and Ginny had heard that before- he was born with an extremely Wizarding disease that killed most born with it in twenty four hours, but he made it. He had made it a second time, waking up the next morning with a smile.
The Healers promised he'd be home in less than a week and he continued to get better. The day before he was supposed to come home, his condition took a downward spiral and he continued to get worse since that day. There was nothing anyone could do for him. All of their options had been exhausted. Harry and Ginny were told that Albus didn't have much time left.
Albus' tenth birthday had been happier for his parents than his eleventh. He had officially outlived the longest living boy from years ago with his disease that died at nine years old. The age the next parents with a child born with this disease would hold their breaths until was twelve.
Albus' breaths were raspy and short, one arm was curled around his stuffed owl that he received as a present from his godfather, Neville, when he was just a baby.
Ginny smiled a little when she thought of little Albus curled up next to Harry, clutching his owl just like he was now. Albus and Harry were always very close, as they shared a birthday. They were exactly twenty five years apart. Albus always wanted to do whatever his father was doing, even more than James did.
Ginny was startled when she felt a firm grip on her other hand, like the way a baby grabs your finger. Albus was awake. Awake enough to find her hand anyways.
"Are you awake, sweetheart?" Ginny asked.
"Mummy?" he asked quietly.
"Yes?"
Albus turned his head up towards her. He didn't look like himself. He was sad and tired looking. He wasn't smiling. He was a shy and quiet boy, he always had been, but his face was very expressive, and his smiles were catchy and lit up a room. Today, his face just held pain.
He looked up at her for a long time, trying to find his words. They often escaped him. He tried to sit up.
"No, honey," Ginny said. "You can't do that."
"Mummy," he said quietly. "Please."
Ginny let him sit up against her. She rubbed his back and kissed his head.
"Where's Daddy?" Albus had slipped back to calling his parents Mummy and Daddy since his admittance into the hospital.
"He's at work with Lily and James."
Albus cuddled closer to her.
"We miss you at home, sweetheart. It's lonely without you." she kissed the top of his head again.
"Mummy?" he asked, before coughing.
"What?"
"I'm not coming home, am I?"
Ginny hugged him tighter, trying to fight tears back. "Don't talk like that, love."
"I'm going to die, aren't I?"
She couldn't lie to him, so she nodded slightly, holding him closer to her. Admitting to herself, and to him, that he wasn't going to come home was the hardest thing she had ever done. She wanted to keep him with her and watch him get married and have children, but he wasn't meant to do those things. He had been in the family for twelve years, a wonderful twelve years. Maybe they weren't meant to have him longer than that. Maybe he was too good to stay with them. Maybe they didn't deserve such a special boy. Even if she didn't deserve him, she still loved him. Letting go would be so hard.
Not more than an hour later, Albus was worse than he ever had been, but he was awake. He was having trouble breathing.
Harry, after getting a Patronus call from a Healer, showed up with James and Lily.
The Healer's Patronus had said that Albus was worse and he wanted to say goodbye to his brother and sister. The Healer brought a frightened James and a teary Lily into his room and Ginny met Harry in the hallway.
"He knows, Harry." she told him through her tears, balling her hands into fists. "He isn't afraid, I asked him. I just want my little boy happy and healthy again. I'm his mother! I should be able to help him, but I can't! I should be able to make him better. I've done it with scrapes and fevers, why should this be any different? Why cant I help him?"
Harry wrapped his arms around her. "I don't know, love. I don't know."
A few minutes later, the children were brought out of the room (Ron and Hermione were taking them home) and Harry and Ginny went in.
Albus was laying still, it pained him to breathe to heavily. His owl was laying across his chest. He smiled when he saw his father.
"Daddy,"
"Hey buddy." Harry said, sitting next to him. Harry was trying not to cry.
"Daddy?" there was a long pause. "Can you do me a favor?"
"Anything."
"Can Leo be your owl now?"
Harry reached over to ruffle his hair. "Of course he can."
"I love you Daddy."
"I love you too, Al."
"Mummy?"
"Yes, sweetheart?"
"Can you still have a chocolate cake on my birthday? Lily likes it."
"Anything for you Al."
"I love you."
"I love you too, Albus"
Albus smiled a bit. "I'm tired."
"Go to sleep, Al. It's alright." Ginny said, starting to cry again and taking his hand. "We'll be alright."
"I don't want to."
"It's alright Al, really." Harry added, taking his other hand. "Go to sleep."
Albus was quiet for a few minutes before he spoke. "She seems nice."
"Who does?" Harry asked. He and Ginny were the only people in the room other than him.
"Grandmum Lily."
Ginny took a deep breath.
"Can I go with her? She wants me to."
"Yeah, buddy. You can." Harry replied. He didn't want Albus to suffer anymore and if letting him go with his grandmother was the way, he wasn't going to refuse him that. He was a good boy. A good, sweet, happy boy that didn't deserve to be sick all the time. Of course he was going to miss him, but he deserved not to suffer anymore.
Ginny kissed Albus' forehead one last time. Albus smiled and shut his eyes.
Albus Severus Potter passed peacefully in his sleep.
A/N: Hey all! Thanks for reading! This story is not over yet, but I couldn't post it all at once. I cried a lot writing this and I didn't want to make you all cry as much as I did. I've always felt that Albus was a very smart kid and would know that he was going to die before it happened. Also, I know it said he was never awake for long periods of time anymore, but I think he'd force himself to stay awake for his family one last time.
This story is separate from all my other ones. This will be the only one I ever write where Albus dies (frankly, I don't think I could handle killing him off again).
"Our Next Big Adventure" is still on hiatus, sadly. Would you mind if I skipped way ahead and made an epilogue for it? That's the only idea I seem to have. I have a completed Frozen story if anyone's interested.
Sorry if the grammar/punctuation in this story is off. Like I said, I was crying writing this. Let me know if there's anything major and I'll fix it.
This will probably have two or three more parts, depending on how I decide to split it up.
Thanks again for reading!
~Pink Mockingjay in Hufflepuff