I don't own Twilight but I do own the song that is written in this chapter so don't you dare steal it :P but seriously I'm not kidding. This is about a day that changes everything even more for Bella while Edward is away in New Moon. Enjoy. Read and Review 3
It had been six months of nothing but feeling absolutely numb and dead to the world. It had been six months of brutal inner torment. Bella felt like if she ever stopped trying desperately to hold herself together that she would fall again- and keep falling into the utter darkness that had surrounded her for so long now. Every day that she continued like this she knew that she was breaking Charlie's heart just a little bit more but she couldn't help it. Going through the motions of life was hard enough as it is without having to be all bright and shiny every second of the day. Bella didn't look much different. She was a bit thinner, shadows were under her eyes and her brown hair had lost a touch of its lustre.
Bella had woken up with a feeling. She had that uncanny feeling that something bad was going to happen today. She couldn't explain the tingling go up her spine but she just seemed to know that something was wrong. She wasn't sure what it was or even when it would happen but she was certain that something was definitely going to make her life even more complicated.
Bella didn't even realize where she was going on that rainy afternoon. She had gotten up, changed into her clothes and started to drive. When she stopped she realized that she was at the Cullen's old house. Now it seemed cold and barren. The rain had started to pour harder as she walked up the gravel driveway to the front door of the house. She peered inside and could just make out the outlines of the furniture- covered in white sheets. She tried the door knob but it was unlocked. This didn't strike her as curious at the time. She opened it, letting it swing wide and stepped inside. She walked forward, her footsteps echoing through the house. She didn't even bother to shut the door for she felt like she was in a trance.
She walked to the room that had held the grand piano and pulled off the sheet covering it in one fluid motion. Sitting down on the bench she ran her fingers over the perfect porcelain keys and started to hum. She had learned to play the piano when she was a little girl- another one of Renee's attempts to get her interested in something. Of course Bella had never mentioned it to Edward because she knew it was just another thing that she was inadequate at. He probably would have wanted to hear her play and she certainly could never match up with his graceful, flowing performances. Bella had started playing again after Edward left. Charlie had bought an old second-hand piano from one of their neighbours trying to get Bella to snap out of her catatonic state. It had worked to some degree. Now at least she had music in her life to help her through this.
She pulled out a recorder from her faded, brown bag and set it on top of the piano. Turning it on she pressed play and let her fingers run over the keys. The melody she produced was soft and heart-breakingly sad. She took a deep breath and began to sing.
He used to call me his angel
I used to float above the clouds
But now the rain's falling faster
All of my sorrows bearing down.
But this is a Romeo and Juliet situation
Both sides of love have such inflation
Because of a twist in interpretation
My undying love's a sensation.
Two star-crossed lovers torn apart
By desires that are off the charts
Two parts of one whole lie there broken
A shattered heart cracks some more.
And now you see its coming again
Another wave dragging me under
It has a spider-web affect on the heart
My shield is cracking for a reason.
Two sided lies make me wonder
That girl he once knew is gone
His little angel's sinking under
Oh yea with the last crack of thunder.
And even though I'll always love you
I just want you to know
No matter what I want you happy
No matter how much it puts me through.
Because all I ever wanted was you.
As the song ended and she finished playing the final notes she wiped a tear from her cheek and said into the recorder, "Edward, if you are listening to this then I guess you are back here in Forks again. It's probably been about eighty years or so right? So I guess I'm six feet under. I know that you did the right thing. I was never what you needed. I knew that I was never good enough for you and it was only a matter of time before you saw that too. There was nothing I could do to hold you here. So, I hope you found what you needed. If in the off chance that you listen to this sooner then I expect I would appreciate it if you let me now that everything is okay. Just leave a note or something. Tell Alice that she was the best sister a girl could ask for and that I am really sorry I didn't co-operate with her when she wanted to play Bella Barbie. Tell Emmett that he was the coolest big brother in the world and that he was always there for me. I want Carlisle to know I am thankful for him patching me up all the time and for accepting me into your family- no matter how short that time was. Esme was- no still is- my second mother. She is the kindest and most compassionate woman I have ever known and I love her very much. And lastly would you mind telling Rosalie that I understand why she acted the way she did. I am completely okay with it. If anything I am thankful she acted the way she did towards me- one less thing to lose right. I guess she was trying to warn me. Oh and Edward, I know you probably don't want to hear this right now but I do love you and I will never stop. But love is a funny thing. It means that even though I am hurting right now I know that you will move on, move forward with your existence and find someone that really makes you endlessly happy. I wish I could have been that for you but since I am obviously not I wish you all the best and hope you find her. Love always, Bella."
Tears had started to stream down her face as she shut off the tape recorder and popped out the tape. She took out a black marker and wrote clearly on the label "And so the lion fell in love with the lamb". She knew that Edward would realize what the tape was as soon as he saw it. She tapped the piano with her hand one last time before leaving the house and shutting the door behind her- never planning on returning here ever again.
As she drove through the town on her way back to town she saw a flash of silver drive past her in the opposite direction. She shook her head. It wasn't possible that he was here. There must have been about a hundred silver cars in the area so why did that one glimpse affect her so much? Bella parked her car outside of her house and went inside. She flicked on the light and saw something that made her heart stop cold. Charlie was lying on the ground, one hand clutching his chest, the other was reaching for the phone that lay a few feet away from him on the ground. His eyes were shut and Bella gasped as she knelt down beside him and checked to see if he was breathing. She could tell that he wasn't. His skin was so cold. She dropped her bag and pushed down on his chest as hard as she could- sobbing the whole time. Over and over again she tried to do compressions but she could tell it was already too late. Grabbing the phone and hitting speaker quickly she dialled 9-1-1 and waited for them to arrive still desperately trying to revive her father. Tears fell onto his face and when the ambulance arrived they tried everything.
Later that night Bella sat in the waiting room of the hospital. The doctor's needed her to sign a bunch of paper work and Bella, trying to hold it together, signed everything that needed to be signed. She was really alone now. She didn't want to move to Florida to stay with Renee and Phil. Her mother would know right away that the past few months had been far worse than Charlie had made them out to be as soon as she saw her and Phil was... well- Phil just wasn't Charlie. Bella was too engrossed in her paperwork to notice who the nurses were all chattering about at their station. Finally, she signed the last of the papers and left the hospital. A young male doctor stopped her on her way out.
"Miss, are you sure you are okay?" he asked concerned, "I don't think it is a good idea for you to be driving at a time like this. Is there someone I can call for you?"
Bella shook her head, "Thanks for your concern but I'm fine. Driving always clears my head. I seem to need to clear my head a lot these days."
The doctor nodded, "If you're sure. Just- be careful."
Bella nodded, "Thanks, I will."
Getting in her truck she started the gas and started to drive home. It was still raining and when Bella was about half-way home she started to cry again. Tears streamed down her face- obstructing her vision. She pulled over to the side of the road and rested her head against the wheel, letting her tears pool in her lap. This by far was one of the worst days of her entire life. She tried to get herself under control but she could feel her invisible stitches ripping out of her skin and letting her fall to pieces all over again. She knew that she needed to get home and call everyone to tell them what had happened but she could barely see through her watery eyes. As she sat there she saw a blinding flash of light come towards her and before she knew what was happening the screech of metal on metal filled her ears and the rusty smell of blood made her gag. Slipping into darkness she could have sworn she heard someone scream out her name.