"You got it right." Amanda tells me as if she knew how hard it was to achieve that series of movements without hassle. She knows nothing! But I love her nonetheless.

"No I didn't. I could've been more graceful, but I wasn't. I can hardly believe I'll get the role." I replied, slightly annoyed. It is not that I don't enjoy what I do, I love it, I was born to do this, but auditions always get the worst of me and being a perfectionist is always kind of a burden for anyone around me, even for myself. She bats her lashes, discombobulated by my affirmation and then shakes her head. Here comes another lecture.

"Rebecca, if you keep on acting such a Debbie Downer, I'm afraid I'm going to stop talking to you." She says it seriously. She totally hates it when I get in this attitude. I do as well, but how can you fight something that's inside yourself, how do you make it stop growing inside you when you see such talented people competing for the same precious, golden price of being part of the cast of a Broadway play. Apologetically, I look down to the floor as we walk out to the street, finding the city lights and the chaos that comes from Times Square, half a block away from us.

"I'm sorry… I just don't want to fantasise about anything and get disappointed in the way."

"Well, you can start by believing a little bit more in yourself in order to gain some of the light you lack." She replied, bringing back the topic from this morning. My last date was a disaster and it was all my fault. I'm getting way pickier and annoying not only when it comes to jobs but also men. And even with all that, I don't think my life is miserable… well, not that miserable yet.

Shaking my head, I let out a sigh and hug her good bye, I have somewhere to get to by 5 pm and I'm already late for the appointment with this therapist I'm starting with. It's all part of the plan of world conquest as well as some evil scheme prepared by her and my best friend Richard to become my better self. "I'll be more confident about my shining persona." I say as I touch her cheek and then wave, making my way to the subway station. "Tomorrow, The Modern, don't forget it!" She yells at me before I disappear in the crowd of people heading towards The Majestic. I won't forget and even if I did, she would drag me to the place.

I make it to uptown. I love this side of the city. It is calmed and it holds some of my most cherished childhood memories coming with dad to the Natural History Museum. As I walk into the building where my therapist's office is, I concentrate on the music playing on my iPhone as I bang my head softly. The concierge lets me in and as I wait for the elevator my thoughts ramble from the previous audition I had and the days to come.

It's all a matter of time for me to get a job. I wouldn't mind cleaning theaters as long as I could make it to one of the musicals somehow. Tomorrow I have an interview/audition at Ellen's Stardust Diner. I know, waitressing doesn't seem like the most adventurous career but it's good for starters. My thoughts seems to be taken away as the elevator opens and I get inside, accompanied by a young, brown eyed man. I see his lips moving as I cannot understand what he is saying; I should probably turn the volume down a bit. Taking off one of my earphones I ask him an almost mute "sorry?"

"Which floor?" He asks again, surprising me with a british accent.

"Eighth, thanks." I reply with a smile. He nods and pushes the button. I assume we are heading to the same place. In silence I put back my earphones and concentrate back on the music, Fleetwood Mac's Gypsy starts playing and being one of my all-time favourites I cannot help but start humming to the tune, regardless of the presence of the british man next to me. That's my problem, I think. I get distracted and forget it all, sometimes I absent myself from the world and get into my little bubble, losing track of time, space and even my whereabouts. Well, I'm lying, that's just one of my problems, that little thing is just part of one big thing I'm dealing with; my therapist calls it Parasomnia. I call it "I can never sleep properly because there is always something else going on" and either I have night terrors or just can't manage to sleep. That's what brings me here today.

As if it was some product of a dream, one of those that I have in the daytime, since I cannot dream at night, I see a hand waving in front of me. The british brown eyed handsome lad is frowning, more concerned than annoyed, I take off my earphones again, shaking my head, as if could be more awake.

"Are you alright? This is your floor." He said with a hint of worry as he studied me. Do I have something on my face? Oh, no, it's just me being my usual awkward self. A blush comes to my face all of the sudden, I'm making a fool of myself over here. Blinking a few times I shake my head and fix my hair quickly. "It's alright, I'm fine, I just had a little… absent phase." I tried to explain, as if he could understand what it all was about.

"Absenteeism." He retorted. He's all posh and well dressed. He's probably gay, all gay men dress this good and smell just as nice.

"Yes absent… how do you know?" I ask surprised. It is not normal that people know about these things, but probably he is just another patient…

"You learn a thing or two when your parents are therapists… Fortunately it happened here at the office. Allow me." He said extending his hand to me. I'm not sick, I hate being treated as if I were sick, so why am I taking his hand to step out of the elevator? Did I just stare at his eyes like I'm hypnotised? Did I just fall in the classic old, brit trap? Fuck my life. The next thing I know is that we are in front of my therapist's office. It was a silent, short walk, or maybe I just got absent again. Why does this happen to me in the worst moments of all?

"Now you're safe. I hope you feel better soon." He said as he let go of my hand and started walking back to the elevator. All I can mutter is a soft, shy, "Thank you" and the next thing I know is that he disappears through the door and the secretary is dragging me inside the office. I didn't even know his name. That was weird.