Me, an aromantic asexual attempting to explain what having a crush feels like. I only noticed the hole I'd dug myself in after I'd already written too much, so let's hope this is not terribly wrong.

Day 6 for Jaith/Jeith Week on Tumblr, prompt is "Pining". Enjoy!

It was understandable that Keith talked about James right after the fight they'd had. It was also understandable that he talked about him for a few days afterwards, Shiro supposed. He was probably still angry at him, so that was fine.

But when it had been three weeks and Keith still started nearly every single of their conversations with something James had done that annoyed him

At first, Shiro hadn't given it much thought, simply indulging Keith when he went off about that Griffin boy, but now it seemed a bit strange for Keith to be that… obsessed with him.

"Keith… I don't mind you telling me all of this but why is it you notice James so much but never any of the other kids?" he asked carefully once Keith was done with another rant. He sincerely doubted Keith even knew any of his other classmates' names, so the question was justified, wasn't it?

But Keith stared at him as if he'd grown a second head. "Are you kidding? He's just… ugh, he's so irritating. I can't help but notice him when he's always so annoying," Keith complained, making a face. "He's always super fussy about following the rules and getting good grades and not talking shit at the teachers, who does that?!"

"Language," Shiro reminded him, ignoring Keith rolling his eyes at him. "I just mean, you don't care about what anyone else does. Nobody else annoys you. Why does he?"

Keith opened his mouth, then gave the question some actual thought and closed it again. "I…" he said, looking at a loss all of a sudden. "I don't know? I dunno why I notice him that much, I just kinda do, I guess. I mean, it's not even like he does anything to annoy me directly," he muses. "It's just that everything he does is annoying."

"Alright," Shiro said, sounding something between amused and exasperated. "It's not nice to talk about your classmates like that, you know."

Keith just snorted. "Yeah, yeah. It's not my fault he's annoying."

Shiro sighed but decided to let it go. He wasn't getting anything else out of Keith today, that much was obvious. "So, hoverbike?"

"Shiro?" Keith asked one day, sounding shy and insecure in a way he hadn't in a long time, so Shiro was worried almost instantly.

"Yeah? What's wrong?" Shiro inquired, giving Keith his full attention. "Did something happen?"

Keith didn't meet his eyes, instead, he kept playing with the strings of his hoodie, and… was he blushing?

"Keith," Shiro said gently. "You know you can tell me anything."

"I was just wondering..:" Keith mutters hesitantly, but falls silent once again. "Nevermind. It's dumb, I'm just gonna-"

"Keith."

"Ugh, fine. I was gonna ask… how did you know you like Adam? Like like him, I mean."

And just like that, the penny dropped. "Oh ."

Shiro coughed awkwardly. Out of everything, he hadn't even considered this would be relevant just yet… although, now that he thought about it, Keith was an age at which most kids started being interested in someone. It had just been so easy to ignore with Keith, because Keith didn't even attempt to make friends, let alone show any interest in anyone romantically. Keith wasn't interested in anyone at all. Except… Oh.

Realizing he still owed Keith an answer, he put his hand to his chin in thought. "Well… I began to notice a lot of things about him. Physically, obviously, for example, that I really liked the way he styled his hair, and how soft it looked. And his eyes, they're one of the most gorgeous features of his. Sometimes I felt like I was going to get lost in them," he recounted. laughing when he noticed the mildly horrified look on Keith's face.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to get all sappy on you. There were other things too, of course. I noticed how he always adjusted his glasses when he got nervous, he has his own special way to do it. I noticed how he drank his coffee, and where he liked to sit in class."

Shiro smiled at the memory. Adam hadn't been his first crush, but definitely the most serious one. "Once, we got coffee together and I was there earlier, so I already bought his too. When he arrived, he asked me how I knew how he drinks his coffee." He laughed. "That was kind of embarrassing, I think I told him it had just been a good guess, and then quickly changed the subject. I was kind of awkward, back there."

Keith still looked sceptical, though, so he added, "But that's not the way it has to be, you know. That's just how it was for me. For you, it might be completely different."

Keith scowled at him. "So you're saying there's no sure way of knowing if I like someone? That doesn't exactly help me, you know," he complained.

"I think it's best not to think about it too hard. I'm no expert, but I think it's something you'll just know. There's no universal way to go about it, and I'm afraid you'll have to figure it out for yourself." He reached out to ruffle Keith's hair, and Keith let it happen for a few seconds before shaking him off.

"Thanks, I guess," Keith sighed. "I gotta go now. Still got homework. See you tomorrow."

"Sure, but don't stay up too long," Shiro told him before he could disappear from the room. "And don't worry about it too much. Things like this usually work themselves out."

Shiro started paying closer attention to Keith when they were with the other cadets. He still wasn't interacting with anyone besides some curt replies when he was asked a question, but he did space out a lot.

That wasn't unusual per se, Keith often spaced out, and most teachers had given up on calling him out for it since he still got above average grades no problem. The only difference now was that he usually stared out of the window when he was daydreaming.

Now, he was always staring at the same thing, or rather, the same person.

James Griffin.

It was kind of sweet, actually. James would be doing something, usually small things barely worth noticing, and Keith would be watching his every move, and he wasn't even being subtle about it.

His expression was what kept everyone else from figuring him out, Shiro supposed, and he had to give him credit for it. His face was still as impassive as ever, seeming aloof and disinterested, and most people were probably mistaking his staring for spacing out staring at nothing.

But Shiro had background knowledge, and the longer he watched Keith, the more obvious it became he'd been right when he'd suspected James was the one Keith was had been talking about when asking about Shiro and Adam.

Watching Keith was fun, but observing James every now and then was also worth doing. James rarely spaced out, he was way too focused on his grades for that. But every now and then, Shiro would catch him doodling something on the sheet of paper in front of him for a few seconds, glancing at Keith from the corner of his eyes before quickly erasing the doodle and focusing on the teacher instead.

First crushes were an amazing thing, Shiro decided. They were sweet and innocent and if things went well and your feelings were reciprocated, you could figure things out together. And from the way it looked, Keith had a pretty good chance at having his feelings reciprocated.

Years later, Shiro returned to Earth with one arm less, his hair looking as if someone had taken a picture of it back on Earth then inverted the colours, and a whole bunch of teens he had come to consider family.

He was a war veteran, he'd lived through torture, gone through all kinds of crazy stuff in space, hell, he'd died up there.

So he really, really felt like he didn't deserve having to watch the man he considered a little brother and his first crush going right back to dancing around each other without either of them actually making a move, again.

"I swear to god, Keith..."

Oddly enough, I liked all of my entries for Jaith week so far, but this one... mh. I'm probably gonna file this one under "written but will never look at again".

Here's the link to the Tumblr post for this event for anyone who's interested: post/177174562099/james-and-keith-week-is-anyone-really-surprised