"AND ACTION!"
Ryan's low loud voice made Chris realize where he was.
He was on set.
Working.
Shooting a scene as Kurt Hummel who was supposed to make out with his boyfriend, Blaine Anderson.
That's what it said in the script.
Chris opened his eyes, slowly coming back.
He had completely zoomed out, he never did that.
He was always professional but he really had no idea how he was supposed to do this right now.
He stared right into Darren's way too familiar hazel eyes, quickly looking away when their glances met.
"CUT!", Ryan yelled, shaking his head silently and left the set to take a break.
He only did this when something wasn't working at all.
He wouldn't talk to anyone, wouldn't even scream at them.
He would just walking around to cool off, getting coffee and come back in a few minutes to start over again.
"What the hell do you think you're doing Chris? Try being professional...at least today! I'm not expecting you to be off camera but please just let it go when we are filming. I'm doing my best too and this is more than awkward, in fact it fucking hurts but gosh just keep it together!", Darren's voice was harsh, ringing in Chris's head.
"Seriously Darren...what do you want me to do? You dumped me...it wasn't me who decided you didn't love me anymore, do you really think it's that easy? You know I'm always professional and I know that if you are an actor you have to deal with people even if you can't be around them when you're off set...but I...I can't do it right now...it's too soon. It's been only a week...", he sighed, running his hand through his hair slowly, trying not to mess it up.
"You think this is easy for me? I can't even look at you...I can't even have eyecontact with you without breaking. Fuck...I knew it from the start...", he cupped his face, rubbing his eyes.
"Oh...did you?", Chris asked, his voice annoyed and sarcastic, his eyes gleaming with hurt and anger when he remembered.
"Yes Chris, I fucking did! I knew this would fuck up everything eventually!"
"You didn't know anything Darren, you knew nothing! You always act like you did but in reality you were just as lost as me! And don't play the victim here...we both know who screwed this up!", Chris was yelling but stopped as soon as he remembered that they weren't alone.
"Listen...", he was whispering now, "I'm trying to cope with it...but I can't when I have to see you everyday...this is the last day of filming, I have to kiss you and it makes me feel sick...how am I supposed to kiss you like I mean it when you can't kiss me back like that? With us knowing that we can't bear being around each other? It breaks my fucking heart even more than it already is. I'm sorry but I have to talk to Ryan...I-I can't do this.", Chris's voice was breaking, not more than a breathy whisper.
"We have to. We can't let him know. We can't let anyone know.", Darren muttered.
"Like they didn't already.", Chris spat.
"What do you mean?"
"Don't play dumb Darren...you and I know best how it used to be. It's ridiculous thinking they wouldn't notice."
They were silent.
"Plus...Ryan will know as soon as the scene starts. He will feel it when we look at each other. He will
see it when we kiss. He will hear it when we talk. We can't hide it."
"We have to try.", Darren said coldly.
"Tell me how then."
They were silent again.
"I don't know."