Disclaimer: I don't know Reid, or Criminal Minds

Reid finally understands what those three words mean. Listen to Eminem's Space Bound

Love is evol

Spencer Reid was staring at the stones, on his knees for the past 3 hours. Not making a sound, moving any part of his body. No tears fell down his cheeks as he looked at the names of his wife and child. He took in the names and finally let out his breath. There they were.

Audrey Reid

Born May 19th, 1981

Died November 6th, 2002

Loving mother, daughter, wife and sister.

A tear rolled down his cheek and dribbled off his chin. Clouds came above his head and our the surrounding graveyard. He remembered how his wife would laugh at his nerdy jokes and would smile at him every time he would tell her she was beautiful. He remembered the way she would call him Spencer when they first made love and when she told him that she loved him the time he proposed, their wedding day and when their son was born. The way she would kiss him. Her brunette hair falling in tresses. Her full lips. Her stunning green eyes.

Spencer now thought of his son. More tears fell down his face, mixed with the acid rain that also fell on him. He thought of his hatred for love now. Everything he loved was taken from him. His father left, his mother was lost in her mind, his father-figure Jason Gideon ran away. His sister Elle. He really hated love yet love seemed to follow him like a dark cloud.

Michael Reid

Born August 14th , 2002

Died November 6th , 2002.

Not even 3 full months of life was his son. Now the greatest things of his life were now buried in the ground. Supervisory Special Agent Doctor Spencer Reid remembered how he came home to find blood everywhere. He screamed, cried, prayed, everything in and out of the book and accepted that they would not come back.

Damn emotion, damn life, damn the whole world, damn all evil and all good. Life seemed to hate Spencer. Reid had 4 unsuccessful trips to heaven and hell. Spencer Reid always wound his way back to reality. Now Spencer closed all his doors, windows, even tiny ant-sized cracks in the walls. He now worked for The Federal Bureau of Investigation's Behavioral Analysis Unit. He was a genius who didn't comprehend death like a math problem. No one on his team ever found out of his Audrey or Michael.

He made sure no one could get him to open up. He made sure women who wanted him never were able to get them. He purposefully ended all dates his friends tried to get him on. Spencer made sure no record of his family was sent to his boss and friend Aaron Hotchner when they died, before he became a fed. They thought he was on Dilaudid again. Spencer didn't understand why he was never able to catch the scum who took his life away from him. He wore his ring around his neck and when he had to talk to girls in cases or anywhere at all he would wear his ring on his ring finger. His team never noticed except Ashley Seaver the new agent. She tried to have him. As always the girl would lose.

He hated love. He sat there and cried. No one knew, except Penelope Garcia who did some digging, told the team and they watched him.

The team worked on the case of Audrey and Michael Reid. Spencer never found out. The team felt his pain and became remorseful of their teasing, set ups, and all wrong they did him. They found the scumbag. They told Reid. Spencer killed him.

After Joe Cunningham's death, Spencer resigned from his post. He didn't looked back. He went to Las Vegas, told his mother and father everything. Spencer ran away just like Jason Gideon. He did not keep tabs on his team like William Reid. He stopped caring about people and began working as a CIA agent. Garcia never tracked him. The CIA changed his identity. His history. Spencer Reid was happy for once since November 5th, 2002. He really didn't care about his teammates as they cared for him. He didn't ask for friendship. They gave it to him anyway. Reid felt guilt for what he did. He knew he had a one-way trip to hell for his action. Oh, well. He also had this feeling for Ashley, not only guilt...but was it...no, it couldn't be...damn it...it is...love. He kept tabs on her. Made sure she was safe. He sent her a gift at the BAU it was addressed to every teammate he had. He said that he still cared for them all and proved it with photos of night's out, toys for Jack and Henry, even him sending an air kiss via letter to Ashley. A photo of them at a date they had. He addressed it with love. Love really was pissing him off. Stupid attraction laws of nature.

The BAU realised their mistake by letting Spencer go. When they gave him his information he left. The agents who worked with him realised, he was only there for information.

Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan thought of Reid as his brother. Now he felt nothing but rage. He was used. Reid said in the letter that he never will stop thinking of him as his brother and not to tease Ashley about Spencer loving her. Life wasn't a bitch so much after all.

Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner made sure that his son was loved more than the job. He hated to think about what Reid's life was like. He understood Spencer. He was gald Reid thought about the team. It made him actually smile when he saw the toys for Jack and Henry. He really is watching them. Updating his gifts with the knowledge of their obsessions.

Supervisory Special Agent Jennifer "JJ" Jareau kept her family as close as possible. The godfather to her child walked away from his godson without another care in the world. He still loves Henry as his own, he sent those Redskins tickets. That was a great date. Henry could've been his and he would still be here.

Supervisory Special Agent Emily Prentiss prayed for Spencer. She now thought of herself as a weak person. She let her best friend out of her grip again. She was happy that Spencer could at least feel anything for anyone given what he had been through.

Supervisory Special Agent David Rossi was in shock. Reid always thought of David as god. 'What a great liar', Rossi thought. David was glad that his adoptive daughter, Ashley was still loved by that man who they knew.

Former Supervisory Special Agent Elle Greenaway found out when she was contacted by Hotch. She couldn't believe it. She cried for her "friend." Elle waas leading a BAU unit in the New York field office.

Former Supervisory Special Agent Jason Gideon found out when he went to his cabin to find a letter in Reid's handwriting that said I'm Done.

Special Agent Ashley Seaver was heartbroken. She fell in love with Spencer. Now she felt betrayed, until she received his gift of course. All the rest happy for of her. He truly did love her. She was so happy and sad. She broke down.

Technical Analyst Penelope Garcia shut herself away from the rest. Her baby boy only was a mask behind he could keep a watch over anything and everything. Now she was happy that Reid still felt something for at least one of them on the team. She now kept a photoshopped picture od Reid and Seaver to comfort her.

I cried my eyes out when I reread this. Maybe I'll add a sequel over what they all do now.