"Lucy, I feel old."
"What makes you say that, Desmond?"
"I just.." Desmond found it hard to explain. Lucy couldn't know what it felt like, with the bleeding effect working the way it did. She didn't fully understand, that not only did he learn the same things as Altaïr or Ezio, he also aged with them. Not physically, but mentally. He'd followed Ezio from when he was seventeen to his near fifties. It tore on his heart. He didn't feel like he belonged in this era anymore. Desmond wished he could just go back to being some nobody. Just a bartender who rode the most amazing motorcycle in the universe.
"Lucy, I age with them. I can feel it, in here," Desmond said, pointing to his heart. She looked at him sympathetically and stood up to stand in front of him.
"I feel every single one of their emotions as my own. Every fall, every cut, scratch, every wound, I feel like my own. I've been stabbed time and time again, burned more times than I can count, and I just can't do it anymore," Desmond said, his voice thick with emotions. "There's just too much pain."
Lucy laced her arms around his waist, gently pressing her face to his chest. "Shh," she said, like a mother calming a young child. "Everything will be alright, Desmond. Don't worry."
Desmond held her back, wishing her words would turn out to be the truth. He just didn't. Nothing is true.
He closed his eyes. When she finally let go, he was sent back into that damned animus. Back to the anger, the pain, the violence, the hatred. Back to the broken hearts, the painful truths, the hidden desires. He'd come to fear everything about the animus. He was starting to feel more and more like Subject 16, slowly losing his mind. He hated not being in control of anything anymore. Not even his sleep went unhaunted. He even saw guards from Acre standing in front of computers. He often walked amongst civillians from the Renaissance when he was just walking across the room.
Desmond hated to admit it, but he'd grown weak. He wanted to end it. To finally be at peace.
And why shouldn't he? After all, everything is permitted.