Clint could not bring himself to get up. He lay in bed and stared up at the ceiling, wishing he was dead. Fury had summoned him to his office after the Battle of New York, looking solemn despite the victory. Clint should have known right then that it was no victory at all, not without Phil.

Fury had told him that his partner was dead and handed over the ring. Clint had taken it, suddenly numb and not sure what was happening.

He wasn't wearing his own ring. It was in his locker, where he put it for safe-keeping whenever he was on a mission. He had never been so relieved not to have it with him, despite the fact that his heart had missed the symbol of Phil's love.

They were not legally married. Unlike many people, Phil and Clint had wanted to wait until their home of New York legalized same-sex marriage. Clint was regretting that now. They should traveled somewhere else to get legally married, even if the marriage would not have been recognized in their own home.

Instead, the couple had had a commitment ceremony (Natasha had acted as their "best man"), but they were not recognized as married under either federal or New York state law.

After Fury had handed over the ring, Clint had left his office without another word. He went straight to his apartment, stopping only at his locker to retrieve his own wedding ring.

The day he had exchanged vows with Phil was the best day of his life. So many other things in his life had been utterly miserable, and Phil had told him that he deserved these good things to happen to him. SHIELD had already turned him around, but mostly it had been Phil. Phil was his life. And now he was gone.

Clint stayed in his apartment for two days, then Natasha came to chew him out. She dragged him Stark Tower (after giving him a thorough combination of scolding and a pep talk), where the rest of the Avengers were. Clint could tell they were visibly surprised by his haggard appearance. He supposed he would have been, too.

They had been just about to eat when Clint and Natasha came in. Clint tried to leave, muttering that he didn't want to interrupt them, but Natasha forced him to sit down at the table, and Steve dished him a big helping of lasagna. Clint picked at it. He hadn't eaten since they were at that shawarma place after the battle. The very thought of trying to eat made his stomach queasy.

Steve was still looking at him with that immensely worried expression on his face, and that made Clint feel really bad. So he tried to eat more.

After dinner Clint tried to go back to his apartment, but Natasha and everybody else wouldn't let him. Stark told him boisterously that there were rooms upstairs waiting for him. Clint was incredulous that he would do something like that, especially for somebody like Clint, but Stark offered to show him. Clint took him up on it once it was made obvious that they were serious about not letting him leave the Tower.

"Rooms," plural, turned out not to be a joke, either. Besides a bedroom (larger and more opulent than anywhere Clint had ever lived in), there were two bathrooms (the master bathroom was just as fancy as its adjoining bedroom), a well-stocked kitchen, an office, and a living room with couches and a large television. All of it was already furnished. Clint was reluctant to sit down on anything, but Tony made himself right at home; though, after all, it was his. He had built it all (or at least designed it).

Natasha eventually kicked Tony out and made Clint go to bed. It felt empty without Phil there beside him.

The next few weeks passed in a haze of mourning. Clint stayed out of "his" new office after the first time he went in there and it reminded him so much of Phil that he broke down crying on the floor. Phil would have fit perfectly in this room; it was as if it had been designed for him. Luckily no one came around to check on him around that time.

None of the Avengers except for Natasha knew about Clint and Phil, or what Clint had lost during the battle. Clint did not ever plan on telling them, either.

All these plans came to an end, though, one rare morning when the whole team was in the same place. Steve was reading his customary hardcopy newspaper, ignoring Tony's ribbing about it. On the front page was breaking news about same-sex marriage being legalized just the day before in New York state. Clint didn't even see it until Steve pointed it out.

"This never would have happened in my time," Steve said, sounding more curious than judgmental. "I'm not against it at all; it's just interesting to see how much everything has changed."

Clint started trembling. He tensed, trying to stop. He closed his eyes, trying not to let the tears come through. Steve and everybody else were looking at him now, even more worried than before.

Clint snarled, "No! It's not fair!" He slammed his fists down on the table. Bruce got up quietly and left the room without a word. Clint didn't even notice. "It's not right," he muttered. Now everybody except for Natasha was looking at him with eyes in slits. He looked right back at them. Without saying another word, Clint got up from the table and walked out of the room. He still fought the urge to scream and sob.

Back in the kitchen, Steve said, "I read about homophobia, but I didn't think anybody on this team would be like that. Did any of you know that he would react that way?"

Tony started to say something, probably something loud and obnoxious, but Natasha beat him to it. "It's not what you think, Captain," she said. "He's just having a difficult time right now, so I can see why you might see him that way."

Now Tony did say something. "He's 'having a difficult time'? Why are you making excuses for him? It's not cool. He shouldn't be acting like that. It's giving Steve – and, well, everybody else – a bad impression. You know what, I'm going to go talk to him about this. Make sure he knows none of us appreciate his homophobic attitude."

Tony made to get up, but Natasha pulled him down again. "He wouldn't want me to tell you everything, but I can tell you that you doing that would not help at all. He's not homophobic, he's actually quite the opposite. But he is going through a hard time right now. His reaction may have been bad, but it wasn't spurred by a hatred of gay marriage. It's complicated, more complicated you would understand, Stark."

Tony stuck his tongue out and muttered, "I am a certified genius, you know," but he didn't pursue it any further. Nobody seemed appeased by Natasha's little speech, but at least they weren't going after Clint.

Clint silently padded off to his rooms. He curled up in the office that Phil would have loved so much, and finally let go and allowed himself to cry.

The next few days were filled with dirty looks from his teammates (minus Natasha) that Clint did his best to ignore. Natasha kept trying to convince him to tell the rest of the Avengers the truth about him and Phil, but Clint refused every time. Phil hadn't wanted to tell anybody about their relationship if they didn't have to (like in the case of Director Fury), and Clint would never betray Phil like that. When he told Natasha this, she tried to convince him that Phil would have liked for him to tell the Avengers, at least, but Clint stood fast. He wasn't going to tell anybody, and he didn't want Natasha to, either.

Clint was still sunk in the throes of depression when Director Fury called on the whole team at the Tower. He looked happy about something. Clint wanted to punch him, until Fury said "Agent Phil Coulson is alive." He looked directly at Clint, who froze. Phil was alive? He managed to say, "You lied to me," and then he broke Fury's nose.

The next hour was a flurry of activity. Clint disappeared, and the Avengers finally found him outside of SHIELD medical, arguing with a doctor, and uncharacteristic tears filled his eyes. Natasha held them back so they couldn't hear what Clint and the doctor were saying, but the doctor seemed to give in on something, and the two of them left.

Steve wanted to see Phil immediately, but he was reminded that Phil would still be asleep. Natasha said, "Let Clint see him first anyway." Steve, Tony, and Bruce reluctantly acquiesced.

When they were finally let in to see Phil, he was awake and Clint was curled up at his side on the bed, asleep. It occurred to Steve that Cling probably hadn't been sleeping very well. It hit him hard suddenly, the reason why Clint had been so upset about the same-sex marriage issue, and Steve felt horrible about treating him so poorly lately.

"Clint and Agent?!" Tony exclaimed. "Why didn't he say anything?"

Phil looked guilty about this. "I hadn't wanted anybody to know about our relationship…before the battle," he said quietly. "I didn't think he would take it this far."

Natasha sat down on Phil's other side. "You were dead, Phil," she said reprovingly. "He was doing everything he could to honor you memory." Phil hung his head.

Later, when everybody else had left, Clint woke up. He smiled to see that his partner was awake. He snuggled up to Phil for a moment, then drew back. He took the chain from his neck where two identical wedding bands hung. Taking them off the chain, he slipped one onto Phil's finger. Phil put the other on Clint and kissed him.

Clint whispered, "Have you heard? Same-sex marriage has finally been legalized here in New York."

Phil whispered back, "I know. Natasha told me."

Clint grinned ruefully and ducked his head. "Of course she did," he muttered. He took a deep breath and slid off the bed. He knelt down on one knee and looked through his eyelashes up at Phil. "Will you marry me?" he asked.

Phil's smile seemed to split his face. "Yes," he said. "I would love to marry you. I love you so much."

Clint grinned and climbed back onto the bed. "It's a date," he whispered, and he kissed his fiancé.

Author's Note: I do not own anything related to the Avengers! (Not even the DVD – I think that belongs to my aunt.) Anyway, to those who were wanting another update in my multi-chaptered story, I'm really sorry! (But, hey, you read this, didn't you? Are you feeling appeased?)

A warning: My next story posted may be in Spanish. (Actually, it's already written, I just need to type it….) It's about Harry Potter. And it's really lame. But follow me anyway! My writing skills are much better in English than they are in Spanish, so most of my stories will be in English.