RANDOM ONESHOT
WARNING: Crack and Insanity to follow
A/N: Good day lovely fanfictioners! You know, that should totally be a word. Hehe. So, school just started and I'm going crazy. So this really random idea popped into my head and I have no idea where it's going. So please, be warned that you may be scarred for life. If anything, it'll be entertaining for the rest of us already insane people to watch you fall and burn. :D
Draco: I don't like where this is going. Stop now.
Me: I'm not going to stop. This is going to be an ultimate crack fic. If you don't shut up, I'll write another one.
Draco: ...
Draco Malfoy really loved apples. He loved them so much; he couldn't imagine a world (or a day) without one. You know what they say: An apple a day keeps the Mudbloods at bay! But you see, Draco gets really absorbed into his apples. So much so that all his "friends" deserted him because he was too much of a freak for them.
So he told his father about this. Lucius sent back a short note saying "that's nice, son" and a basket of apples. Draco was very happy that his father sent him apples. Only, they were Granny Smith. And Draco hated Granny Smith apples. But he couldn't reject a gift from his father, so he ate them. He even brought one to Care of Magical Creatures class.
He realized it probably wasn't the smartest thing to do, but he really loved his apples. He also loved tormenting one Harry Potter. This year, it was about Dementors. Draco's worst memory was when his father told him that he couldn't have apples for a week because he refused to eat the one he was given. It wasn't Draco's fault that Aunt Bella was crazy and gave him a Granny Smith apple! Everyone knew that Draco hated Granny Smith apples.
The one good thing about Granny Smith apples was that they made one Harry Potter take notice of Draco. Harry couldn't ignore the luscious green skin and the juice that would sometimes slowly trickle down Draco's chin when he ate them. Of course, he noticed with other apples too, but for some reason, the Granny Smith apples were so much harder to look away from.
So, one day, Harry approached Draco. "Malfoy," he began "you look so damn sexy eating that bright green apple. I can't resist any longer. Please! Share your apples with me!"
Draco wasn't thrilled with the concept of sharing his apples, but Harry did give him a very nice compliment. So, taking another large bite, he handed the apple over to Harry who took his sweet time biting and chewing the sweet, crunchy flesh.
Draco didn't think he'd ever seen anything more beautiful than Harry Potter eating one of his apples. Eyes wide, he watched as Harry continued to eat the apple, occasionally looking up seductively at Draco and licking his lips clean of all the sticky juice.
And so, Draco and Harry bonded over apples. Perhaps there was more to follow, but that's a story for another time.
The End.
Draco: GAH! What did you just do!
Me: Succumbed to my insanity.
Draco: Well, that sort of makes sense, but WHY did you do this to me?
Me: Cuz it's fun.
Review? Like? Hate? Love? Laughing Hysterically? I personally like Draco x Apple. Harry was an added bonus? I dunno. But you can't say I didn't warn you~
Until Next Time! Samsstars