Quick Notes: Pretty Little Liars is not mine; I'm just playing with the characters. Spoilers for this story include any and all PLL episodes. I'm a huge Paily fan, but not a Maya basher, so what mention of Maya there may be will not be negative and will only follow the canon of the show. The story mostly follows the trajectory of the show up until "The Lady Killer" and will probably go slightly off course from there (at least until the hiatus is over).
Please let me know if there are any glaring errors. Also let me know what you think and if you have any questions/comments/suggestions as the story progresses.
That said, on with the show.
Chapter 1: With A Glance
Through the glare of the flashing lights, I could see Emily starting to break down.
She was balancing on the edge of complete, unadulterated panic and only those closest to her could see the signs clearly. To the officer badgering her for information she must have seemed like any other victim – in shock and scared, but ultimately uninjured and relieved that it was all over. I could see the panic building in her glassy eyes from my position a few yards away. I was explaining my abduction in as little detail as possible, not really paying attention to the questions I was being asked as I focused in on Emily and the building tension in her hands as she wrung her bloodstained fingers together. Her body started to tremble and her chest began to heave as her gaze zeroed in on Hanna and the sobbing heartbreak unfolding beyond the police tape. Her unblinking eyes flicked to Caleb's prone form being loaded into the ambulance. When the truck's doors closed, Emily's shoulders flinched and her stare was broken just long enough to glance at me. She looked so broken, so overcome with fear and not knowing. She broke the contact quickly with a look I hadn't seen before.
Shame? Nervousness? Fear? Was she afraid of me?
I didn't have time to figure out the look before I saw her begin to shift her weight between her feet. That was the last signal – the last clue that she was about to come unhinged and I couldn't let her lose it in front of all these spectators. I pushed my way between the two cops questioning her, drawing their attention just long enough for her to slip away. Her eyes met mine for a split second and I tilted my head slightly, silently willing her to go to Hanna, trying to convey with my gaze that I understood what was coming next and that she needed her friends. She rushed around the police and through the crowd where she instantly engulfed Hanna in her arms, both girls breaking down completely on contact.
The police had begun to walk away from me as I watched the girl I loved seek comfort in the arms of her three best friends. I looked at my feet for a second, hoping to gain some understanding on why she didn't want any comfort from me. I looked up again, expecting to see Emily turning around to call me over once she'd found the peace she needed in knowing her friends were all ok. I was met instead by Spencer's unwavering stare. The look in here eye was not of fear or anger as I'd come to expect from the girl, but something more akin to sympathy or even pity. She seemed to convey some unknown truth with her gaze, causing my body to shudder and my knees to weaken as I thought over the possibilities.
I had to look away. Was Spencer trying to tell me that I didn't belong with Emily? That she was too good for me? Did Emily talk to Spencer about our relationship? I know her friends had been after her for weeks about me and our relationship, but up until now I'd never felt I had reason to doubt her loyalty to me. Was Emily pulling away from me because of what happened tonight? Was tonight just a catalyst? Maybe Emily wanted to pull away before but just didn't know how or maybe she realized that I would never be good enough for her.
As the thoughts raced through my mind I started to feel lightheaded, unsteady on my feet. The space at the edge of my vision began to blur and shake as the worries continued to increase.
I promised her I wouldn't leave her until everything with Garrett's trial was finished. I promised her I'd keep her safe, and that I'd do anything to protect her. I failed. I failed more than anyone in my position can fail. Instead of saving her, she had to save me. From a murderer, the man who murdered the only girl she'd ever truly loved. And in saving me she had taken the life of another human being – something I'm positive she will come to resent me for. Maybe she already did, maybe this was her leaving me. Maybe she never really cared about me, it would make sense seeing as she didn't spare a few moments to make sure I was ok before rushing to her friends. I was nothing to Emily but a liability, a problem to be solved, someone who always got in the way. As that last thought raced through my head over and over a weight settled in the pit of my stomach and I felt as though I was falling. I willed my eyes to focus despite the haze of fog that had settled over my vision and I was vaguely aware of Spencer's eyes widening almost comically as she pushed past the yellow tape and jogged toward me. She was waving frantically and I could see by the way her mouth was moving and the strain of the veins in her neck she was yelling at somebody, but I couldn't hear a thing.
The realization hit me like a truck as my knees hit the ground with a painful thud. Broken from my shock induced stupor as the gravel bit into my exposed knees, I lurched forward as intense waves of pain coursed through my body.
A minute ago nothing hurt, but it occurred to me briefly that I couldn't feel anything. My legs were moving on pure reflex and muscle memory, my vocal chords spit out words as automatically as you sing along to a song you've known forever. I was awake and moving, but not conscious, not really. The pain in my side seemed to be the worst, I grasped at it as my body bent forward. My palms were now firmly down on the ground, supporting the weight of my both as I knelt on all fours in the jagged gravel. I felt someone place a hand on the back of my shoulder and I turned my head slightly to see Spencer's concerned eyes for just a moment before the action made me retch and I felt the bile rise in my throat. Sound rushed back into my ears as I emptied the contents of my empty stomach between my hands. The sirens of the departing ambulance and police cars rang out shrilly, making me wince at the sound and sending a bolt of pain just behind my left eye. I could hear Spencer calling to the paramedics and the police that she needed help, that "she" was seriously hurt and needed somebody to come help right away.
My thoughts jumped to Emily automatically. There had been blood on her hands, but was she hurt? Did Nate get to her before she got to him? I looked up for a moment, fearing the nausea that came with the motion but willing to bear it to make sure Emily was ok. Emily was gone, along with Hanna and Aria. Many of the police cars had cleared out when the ambulance and the coroner's van had left for the hospital. A few straggling spectators, one empty patrol car, and Spencer were all that remained at the scene. I looked at Spencer for the briefest of moments before my stomach rebelled again and I retched forward and felt the wet, sticky bile splash over the back of my hand. Spencer's volume increased significantly as she yelled into the dissipating crowd and demanded someone cross the police tape to help her.
I was about to turn back and ask her what she needed help with when I noticed the dark splotch of red standing in sharp contrast to the pale skin of the back of my hand. I stared at my hand, feeling my vision begin to blur and the ground begin to spin. I lifted one hand from the gravel slowly, turning toward Spencer and lifting my head to meet her eyes. Her eyes bore into mine as her face quickly dissolved into black and I felt my body fall harshly into the sharp gravel below.
"Paige! Paige! Listen to me! You're going to be ok, I promise!" I heard Spencer shout as a commotion built nearby. "You! Help me! We have to get her to a hospital right now, call 911 and tell them we're taking her since the police don't know how to stick around long enough to do their fucking jobs!" I felt a pair of strong hands under my back and shoulders and another at my ankles. Suddenly I was being lifted and the pain I felt throughout my body intensified to a level I'd never imagined.