A/N: Thanks to those who continue to support me even in my hiatus. I've been quite busy and I've lost the resolution to write one fanfic per week. Instead, I post any that comes into my mind every now and then. Banzai to those who like B't X fanfics and thanks to those who put Doll's Eyes and I'm Going to be a Priest in their favorite lists. You make me happy. Now, read on.
Disclaimer: This is fandom. Don't sue me.
Behind the Scenes
Rafael was in a good mood that day. There was no sign of the monster running amok anytime soon, Hokuto noted. What could cause chaos were two other soldiers behind him. They had volunteered to check out the gigantic b't Rafael but they ended up scrutinizing one another. Fao was looking at the computer monitor as if he was the person most enthusiastic about the b't's progress. Ron, completely disinterested on the otherhand, was looking intently at Fao.
"Haven't you told Karin yet?"
"About?" Fao asked back. If Ron knew any better, he would drop the subject. Fao did not usually throw questions back to an inquiry unless he could foretell he wouldn't like the subject of the conversation. Ron was aware of this but he was stubborn and this nature well counterattacked Fao's defiance.
"About Karen, of course."
"No, I haven't. If you were in my place, you wouldn't do it too."
Ron smirked, "I doubt that."
Hokuto chuckled. Although he generally liked peace and order especially when he was working, he found Ron and Fou's bickering a good source of entertainment. "Well, you are an egoist, Ron, and Fou's a priest. More than a soldier of the Empire, he is a mercinary of the Just."
"What does that got to do with him telling Karin about her sister? Isn't that the irony of the entire thing? Isn't hiding the truth a lie?"
The blonde audibly sighed, "You have so many questions today, Ron. Intelligent ones. But instead of happily cheering you on for being clever, I find myself irritated, so if you please, drop the subject because I don't have any intentions of answering."
"Well, what then is the doctor's orders?" the soldier of the East looked at Hokuto for rescue.
"She has a trauma. It is best to let her memories come to her naturally."
"Pshew. Whatever. What good does it do but prolong the agony?"
"What is it to you that I don't want to tell her?" Fao, showing more signs of irritation, looked at Ron.
"Lessening your burden. The girl is attracted to you."
Score one for the East, Hokuto mentally tallied.
Taken aback, Fao glared at Ron but getting his bearings again, he smirked. "You are disillusioned." He then turned away and waved his hand indiffirently bidding the other two goodbye.
"Tough one, that Fao," Hokuto remarked, getting back to his work.
"Well?" asked Ron, waiting for an affirmation.
Hokuto chuckled once more. He was really entertained. "Good observation, Ron." He did not add that Fao might be feeling the same toward Karin.
Fao scanned the night skies. It was one leisure he would not let the Machine Empire to take away from him. They had so much of him already. His gratitude, his service, his life. They even took Karen away...
The night skies were his own. In his territory, he could imagine he owned another planet that did not depend on the Machine Empire-a place that was free from the horror that was Rafael, a paradise. In that place, he did not have to be torn between what he wanted to do and what others wanted him to. He could be with the people he liked, not with those who annoy him.
However, he could only gaze at the stars and not own them.
Like the girl who was sleeping in his church.
Suddenly, no matter where Fao turned, he could not see the stars anymore. He could only see her. He closed his eyes, hoping she would go away but he knew it was futile. It was the beginning of one of his matches against 'pity'.
Pity. No, he did not feel anything for her but pity. She lost her sister because of him. What was more was she did not know anything about it. She continued serving him like a loyal soldier.
Soldier?
A soldier would not clean every thing, would not cook for him, would not wash his wounds if he had any. A soldier would not worriedly blurt out a 'take care' when he went on a mission or warmly greet him a 'welcome home' once he got back.
She could have been his lover.
She was a young woman living with him. He had watched her grow from being a cute child to a lovely lady. Not only once was he intoxicated by her scent that he had to check himself. He had tried countless of times to stop himself from openly staring at her.
Was that pity?
He decided to let himself be overwhelmed with his feelings and go with the flow. He asked his b't to bring him back to his abode so he could finally face his unwilling tormentor.
As he made his way to her room, his heart beat wildly. He could swear he could even hear it drowning all other sounds. He could feel the thrill that he had not felt before. Cold sweat broke from his forehead and as it trickled down his cheek, he opened the door that separated him from the source of his disturbed feelings.
She was asleep. Fao could not think of anything that looked so peaceful. She seemed to emanate an aura that made the dark room a little brighter. Was it the moonlight that made her glow? Her gentle features made the bunk bed look softer, and luxurious.
She was sleeping with her hair cascaded on her pillow, her face upturned her right hand under her cheek and the left on her stomach. Her body was turned a little bit to her right and her legs escaped from the blanket draped on her torso.
Fao observed the way she breathed with her mouth slightly opened, her chest gently rising and falling and the way she moved to a more comfortable position.
She did not have the strong angles of her sister, was the only thing he could say. Was this a part of pitying her? He reached a finger to caress her face. Then he felt it.
He felt a tingling sensation creeping from his finger to every nerve in his body. He could not suppress a shiver. He felt warm even though it was relatively cold that night. He could not recall when one could feel hot inside and cold outside at the same time. Then he remembered...
Immense self restraint was what had kept him from tearing his door, walking to her room, and making her his. It had taken all of his concentration to stay in his own bed and sleep with dreams of her smiling at him...sometimes kissing him...
In the morning he could keep on denying that he did not feel anything but pity. At night, it was a different story.
As he wondered how soft she was, how smooth her skin felt, the word pity got lost in the whirlpool of adjectives in his mind.
Like that word, he got lost. He leaned down and kissed her forehead, her cheeks, her nose...and getting encouraged, her lips.
They were soft and incredibly sweet.
She was like an unconsumable delicacy. A taste he would never get enough of. Everytime he felt he had enough, the more he wanted her.
He had only meant to plant a butterfly kiss on her lips but as he pressed harder, the more inviting her lips became and so he kissed deeper until he felt her stir. He broke the kiss and looked at her eyes, wide with questions.
"Fao-sama..." she whispered. He groaned for her voice sounded more of a plea than a question. And he pinned her to the bed once more with his kiss.
As she returned his kisses with unpracticed lips, he drowned his guilt and pity in the recesses of his heart. Instead, he succumbed to the overwhelming feeling that he hadn't put a label on.
The next day found Ron, Hokuto, and Fao in the same place where they had talked the day before. The scene was a little different though. Ron and Fao were the ones fiddling with the computer consoles as Hokuto observed from behind. He had asked them to do the work to lessen their childish bickering.
Ron asked Fao, "So?"
Amused, Hokuto chuckled. Boy. This guy never learns.
Fao smirked. "I've decided not to tell her completely."
Ron shook his head in disbelief. The determination of the Knight from South really irritated him. "You're insane. If I were you, I would end her suffering and be a free man."
"That won't happen."
"Nande?" Ron challenged, turning to the other, completely ignoring the task of observing Rafael. He had always thought that Fao was a more formidable enemy anyway than the moody b't.
Hokuto merely observed. He had already known Fao would have a decision but not so soon.
Fao returned Ron's challenge with the same countenance. With a voice devoid of its usual gentleness, he replied.
"Because I won't, in any world, trade places with you."
With a flick of his hand, he went out of Hokuto's work place. He was done for the day. Ron was left gaping at his back. "Now what the hell is that?"
Hokuto chuckled. He was more entertained that day.
A/N: I started writing this in summer but it didn't have any conclusion yet. Whew concluding a piece is more of a challenge than starting it. Reviews will be gladly accepted.