Really a Man
Summary: Viola pretends to be Sebastian to prove that girls can be just as guys at soccer. That's how it started out, anyways. What happens when masks slip away and converge? (I'll think of a better title later!)
Chapter 1
Viola woke up at 4 a.m. to use the bathroom. She grabbed her ace bandage from the pocket of her pajama pants and slipped in the bathroom, awkwardly checking to make sure no one was there. Once in the stall she wrapped the thing around her chest. Damn, it was painful. There had to be an easier way to bind. The thing made it really hard to breathe while training. She looked in the mirror, staring at her chest almost obsessively: it looked good flat. Like it was how it was supposed to be. Wait what?
Viola slipped back into the dorm room. Duke was already up, ready to train. Viola needed to make first string, she needed to prove she was just as good as any other guy.
"You ready to train man?" Duke said.
"Yeah man. Give me a sec to put my sneakers on ," Viola-as-Sebastian said.
They headed out the door and started jogging. It was 5 am and no one else was awake. It felt good to be up and running, blood and oxygen pulsing. Alive. An athlete's life was the life Viola wanted to live, unconditionally. She never felt more alive than she had before. She was sweating and it was hard to breathe. The way her muscles burned while doing pushups and lifting weights made everything feel right.
Here in Illyria, she was just Sebastian. They were two dudes that played soccer.
"You're really improving a lot, Sebastian," Duke said.
"Thanks bro," Viola-as-Sebastian said. But she was her own worst critique, kept pushing herself harder: more squats, more pushups, bicep curls, tricep curls. Push past your limits. There are no limits.
The other guys spilled onto the field and it was time for morning soccer practice. Practice was hard but, strangely enough, Viola never felt more in-place she did now. She didn't feel awkward anymore, like the guys would find out that she's really a girl. She didn't feel really a girl.
"Hastings!" The coach called.
"Yes?" Viola-as-Sebastian said.
The coach threw a shirt at her. "You're first-string."
"Yes!" Viola-as-Sebastian said, throwing a fist in the air.
She told herself that guys and girls, they're exactly the same, girls can be just as good as sports as guys, just as muscular, just as rowdy and sports-obsessed. If that's what helps you sleep at night, Vi, she thought to herself. But she pushed the thought down. She was just doing this to prove that girls could play soccer, and that her ex was wrong.
--
"Sebastian!" a voice said. Viola had just got back from soccer and was on the way to first period.
"Oh hey there Olivia," Viola-as-Sebastian said absent-mindedly.
"So I was thinking, are you sure you don't want to go out? I know you said I'm not your type… but it's just I never met a guy that made me feel the way you do," Olivia said.
Viola had promised to try to set Olivia up with Duke. Guy code, she thought, she couldn't bail on him.
"I'm sorry, Olivia, I just don't feel that way about you."
To be continued…