A.N. No, I'm not really alive, this is something I wrote years ago. I'm throwing it out there while I am trying terribly hard to write again. What I've done so far is really bad and stiff, so hopefully I will improve once more.
Coming Home
Al was ensconced on the couch, a calico throw over his lap. Snow thudded against the windowpanes; the soft sounds a counterpoint to the crackling flames in the fireplace. The book he was attempting to read slipped from his fingers. Glancing for the hundredth time at the clock, he sighed. Where was Ed? It was getting late. He reached over to the end table and slipped his fingers under the tea cozy, worried the hot chocolate was getting cold. It was a simple matter of a quick clap and once against it was piping hot. Same for the hot water bottles.
And just in time. There was the sound of flying footsteps, and a flash of red at the window.
"Niisan!" And Al was at the door, ushering his brother into the warmth and unwinding the scarf from around his neck. Ed winced when Al helped slip off his coat, his automail frigid to the touch. "Oh, Niisan," Al was going to forgo their customary cuddle at the door in favor of getting Ed into the living room, But Ed caught his shoulder.
"Where are you going?" Ed muttered, burrowing into his brother's arms, "I know my automail's cold, but I need this."
"As if I cared about that," Al scoffed, holding him tightly. Then he picked him up, and ignoring his protests, carried him into the living room. He nestled his half frozen brother on the couch, still warm from his body heat, and wrapped him snugly in the throw. Reaching under it, he carefully placed the two hot water bottles; one on his shoulder, the other on his thigh.
Ed's grumbles faded into a low whine of relief, and Al shoved a cup of cocoa in his hand. While Ed sipped this with half closed eyes, Al snuggled up to him under the soft throw as well. He readjusted the hot water bottle on Ed's shoulder, then began to firmly stroke the seam where metal was riveted to flesh, seeking to alleviate the bone deep ache brought on by the cold.
"Fuck, Al," Ed sighed, draining his cup and setting it on the coffee table, "that feels so good. Have I told you I love you?"
"Not yet," Al chuckled.
"Well, I do." Ed turned his head and kissed his brother on the lips, briefly and light as a butterfly.
Al's heart rate accelerated, but he was careful to keep his voice light. "That's good, because I made you a special dinner tonight." He glanced at the empty cup. "Do you want some more chocolate?"
"Nah," Ed gave a massive yawn, leaning his head against Al's shoulder. "I just want to sit here like this with you. It was a long day."
Al just smiled and nodded, readjusting the hot water bottle to a slightly different spot on Ed's shoulder, then leaned over him to do the same for the one on the far thigh.
"No!" Ed said quickly, catching his hand. "It's fine. Ummm… could you take my hair down? I kinda have a headache."
He was almost shaking with relief when Al amiably reached up, untied his hair, and finger combed his braid out. That was close. Al's hand had almost discovered Ed's secret: being this close to his little brother had excited him. But a moment later, his apprehension vanished in a sigh. Fuck, but he loved it when Al played with his hair. He snuggled closer, blinded by the gentle pleasure. When Al's fingers climbed deeper into his hair, gently kneading his skull, Ed groaned softly, and let the sensations carry him away.
Ed came awake slowly, and found himself lying on the couch, the throw tucked securely around him, warm bottles still repositioned carefully over his automail junctions. His jacket had been removed, as had his boots. The living room was dim, lit only by the low flames and embers in the fireplace. He was completely toasty warm, even his automail. He sat up slowly, letting the calico slip down to his hip, and yawned gently. Then his nose twitched at the scents wafting in from the kitchen next door. His stomach growled hungrily.
He remembered what Al said about a special dinner and closed his eyes, letting his nose sort the aromas he was receiving. His eyes flew open and he bounded up and into the kitchen. Could it be? Yes… Al was just finishing the final basting of a simply enormous roast beef. Whole potatoes wrapped in glinting foil peeped from a wicker basket lined with a fluffy cloth. A great pot bubbling on the stove reeked of the sweet scent of corn. From the size of the pot, Ed just knew it was on the cob. And through the glass of the oven just behind Al, he could see a perfectly baked cherry pie, with a crinkled lattice just like he liked it. Ed knew that there would be a big metal bowl of whipped cream in the refrigerator.
Ed's stomach growled again, even more loudly this time.
Al looked up with a smile and put the baster away. "Niisan. Just in time. Go lay back down on the couch and I'll bring it out in just a moment."
"Why don't you let me help you carry it out, Al?" Ed said in a wheedling voice.
"Because you will have eaten half of it by the time it makes it to the table. Now shoo. Two minutes, tops."
Ed sauntered into the kitchen anyway, eyeing all the food, and Al picked up a big wooden spoon warningly. He gave his little brother his most charming smile, and said in a soft coaxing voice. "Can I have just a bite?"
Al melted on the spot. "Well…"
"Please… I'll give you a kiss…" And Ed gave one of his rakish grins.
Al laughed. "You would have anyway, but okay. And I still want my kiss!" He turned and sliced a generous chuck off the roast, dripping with juices and laid it on a small saucer, adding a spoonful of roasted carrots, onions and celery. "There… will this hold you for two minutes?" He smiled and held the plate out to his brother.
Ed gave a cry of delight, grabbed Al and the plate at the same time, and laid a big wet kiss on the corner of his mouth. A moment later, he was dancing out with his loot, leaving Al leaning shakily against the counter. Ed's mouth was so warm…
When Al headed for the dining room with his first load, Ed hailed him from the living room. "Al, in here!" Peeking in, he saw that somehow, in the four minutes since he'd bribed Al with a kiss, he'd reset the coffee table in the living room, pillaging the one Al had set in the dining room. Two fat pillows sat on the floor on either side in lieu of chairs. He'd even lit a branch of candles. Eyes round, Al went ahead and began laying the food out on the table, and Ed went for the rest of it, nobly refraining from molesting any of it. While Al began doling out the side dishes, Ed carved the roast with amazing skill. That is what Al told him, anyway, eyes wide and impossibly adorable.
Ed hesitated a moment, hand tightening on the knife. It was hard to remember that he was his brother when he looked like that. Hard to remember why he shouldn't throw the knife aside and do illegal things to him.
By the time dinner was over, there was very little left. Ed was lying on the couch again, on this belly, knees bent and ankles crossed, waving his feet back and forth idly while he watched his brother finish his meal. Unlike Ed, who wolfed his food down in just about a single bite, Al savored each bite, eyes closing in bliss, licking his lips slowly, then taking another. Hence, Ed lying on his stomach, valiantly resisting the urge to shove Al's plate aside and lick his lips for him. One of these days, he just might lose the battle, he was thinking with dismay.
He watched his brother thoughtfully. Everything about Al was more than worthy of his complete attention. For instance, he knew when he put his arms around his brother; Al's heartbeat sped up. When he kissed him, his lashes dropped, trying to hide their dreamy glow, but he'd noticed. Not for the first time, he wondered if Al felt the same way about him. Certain vague conversations over the past four and a half years, when Al was still just a voice and cold steel, led him to believe so. Not to mention the highly unorthodox pleasurable intimacies they'd shared as children. Now Al had been flesh for almost six months. Ed had been uptight over him since then, but had held his peace. Al deserved a chance to see what the world had to offer. Because Ed knew if he ever crossed the line with his brother, there would be no going back. He would claim Al, body, mind, heart and soul. And he would never let him go.
But Al had made not a single move to try and disassociate himself with his brother. Ed had taken him on the rounds, meeting as many men and women as possible and watched his brother. Al was a people person. He loved to meet people, make new friends. And so he had. The fact the phone had not rang once all evening was an oddity. There was always someone calling and asking for Al, trying to set up dates to go places and do things. But the only time Al would want to go anywhere was if Ed went with him. If not, he had not the slightest interest. And he refused to go anywhere or do anything that would keep him from waiting for his brother to come home from work with a hot dinner waiting.
Part of Ed was greatly flattered. But this was his brother, not his wife, not his housekeeper, not his valet. He'd actually taken to picking up his discarded clothes and books, because he knew Al would follow along behind him and do it. He wanted his brother to experience all the life he'd missed out on for so long. Not play house. Even if it did give him pleasure. What Ed was unable to fathom, was why anyone, least of all his brother, would take such delight out of doing things for him. And not just domestic things either. Al was not afraid of anything. He would take on a whole battalion for him. It had been more than a little bit of a battle to keep Al from enlisting in the State Alchemy Program. He wanted to stay by Ed's side all the time, like he used to. But Al was no longer a near immortal suit of armor. Ed did NOT want him to think he could still be his shield. The idea of losing Al twisted his gut and numbed his mind and haunted his nightmares.
Be that as it may, in the past six months, Al had been unafraid to show to anyone and everyone who cared to look that his brother was the most important person in his life. And considering Al's reactions whenever Ed touched him, the older boy was more than half convinced that Al felt the same way he did.
Finally, Al put his fork down, heaved a sigh of pleasure, and crawled onto the couch with him, squirming until Ed scooted over so that they were laying front to back, Ed's arm tucked around his brother's waist.
"Al," Ed began cautiously, "I noticed the phone hasn't rang once tonight. Did you piss off all your friends?"
"Mmmm, no," Al said drowsily, eyes half closed as he watched the remnants of the fire flicker in the hearth, laying his hand on the one on his belly, lacing their fingers together. "I turned it off. Didn't want anyone to disturb us tonight."
"Why is that?"
"I'm tired of them always trying to lure me away from you. In fact, I don't think I want to play with them at all anymore. They seem to think we're too close. That I should spend some time away from you. Don't wanna. I belong to you."
Ed was torn between blazing wrath that anyone would be so foolish as to try and take Al from him, and exultation at Al's last words. Was it a misspoken phrase? Did Al really mean with you? Either way was good, but if Al thought he belonged TO Ed, why, so much the better.
"Is that so? Well, just where the hell do they think you should go?" Ed's anger was creeping up on him.
Al yawned. "Haven't a clue. Just that I should get a job, get my own place, hang out with them more often. Now the only calls I bother to return are the Tringhams. At least Fletcher understands, being that he feels about his brother the way I do. It doesn't matter, Niisan. I'm not going anywhere without you. Perhaps now they will understand too."
"And the rest?" Al was too happy and content to heed the dangerous softness in Ed's voice.
"I don't care about them. I'm where I want to be. With you." And Al squirmed around so that he was facing his brother. "Why?" Al's voice became apprehensive. "Are you getting tired of me?"
"Heh, not in this lifetime, nor in any other. I was just wondering whose asses I need to kick."
Al chuckled and buried his face in his brother's neck. "Good."
Ed gave a sharp sigh, and tilted his hips away. "Al, I was wondering though… I wanted to know… Is there someone… special… in your life right now?" He was sure not, because Al wouldn't go anywhere without him if he could help it, but he still needed to know if there was someone his brother might want.
"Mmmm… yes, as a matter of fact, there is…."
Ed felt himself grow cold. Al's muffled voice had become… vulnerable. His sweet and treasured fantasy was going up in smoke. "I see…" He tried to keep his voice light, but it came out strangled. He eased out from behind Al, sitting up, and perforce, Al did too. He lowered his head, hiding his glimmering eyes behind his bangs, lest they reveal his pain. "May I ask who?"
Al sat there silently a moment, heart pounding with nervousness. Then he climbed into his brother's lap, straddling his thighs, and took Ed's hands in both of his, lacing their fingers together. Using his chin, he nudged his brother's face up, and looked into his moist eyes. "Sure, Niisan. It's you. It's always been you. When we were children, all I ever wanted was to be with you, even if I didn't understand what I was feeling. That never changed. Not when I was armor, and certainly not now. I…" Al swallowed with dismay, his heart fracturing when the moisture in Ed's eyes welled up and overflowed in silvery trails down his face. "N… Niisan… I'm sorry…" A hollow ache took over his insides. He'd ruined everything. He'd thought Ed felt the same he did. Thought that Ed was just biding his time, making sure Al did too. Apparently he was wrong.
"No…" Ed said, his fingers tightening around Al's when his younger brother moved to get off his lap. "Don't go, Al, please. I love you. Can I… kiss you?"
Al's heart flew up on fluttering wings. Ed had told him many times throughout their lives that he loved him. And he'd never asked if he could kiss him before. Then, he realized his face was wet too, and understood the reason for his brother's tears. Relief. Devout, heartfelt relief. "If you don't, I think my heart will break," he whispered.
Ed's warm hand left his, to tangle in Al's silky hair, cupping the back of his brother's head as he leaned up and pressed his warm lips against his. Al's eyes closed with the sensation. This kiss, closemouthed, barely moist, was somehow entirely different from all the other kisses before. Perhaps it was intent, he didn't know, didn't really care. But it felt different, and Al knew it would end differently too. Heart pounding, he felt a soft whisper of breath against his lips as Ed repeated that he loved him, and then began to slowly trace the seam of his closed mouth with a warm wet tongue. Al gave an inarticulate noise and parted his lips, a soft sigh against Ed's inquisitive tongue. His free hand gripped the front of Ed's shirt desperately as the kiss deepened, heated, became a fire between them. And Al was drowning in the sheer deliciousness of his brother's intimacy.
Suddenly, Ed broke free. Breathing heavily, he gripped his brother's shoulders and held him back slightly. It was difficult to think, difficult to hold on to what he had to do, now, before anything went any further. He could feel Al's erection pressing against his belly, just as he knew Al could feel his, pressing against his rear. It was so tempting to just go back to kissing him, back to making love to him, and everything else be damned. He'd wanted Al long before he got his body back. In fact, like Al, he knew he wanted him long before their lives went to shit. It wasn't until he held his brother's restored body in his arms for the first time that he realized what he'd felt all along. He was in love with his brother. Always had been, always would be.
"Niisan?" Al said, hazy eyes confused. "What's wrong?" He was rocking against the hard ridge in his brother's pants, making thinking even more difficult.
"Wait, Al. Wait… I have… I must say something."
Al's eyes cleared, and filled with uncertainty. "What is it?"
"I'm in love with you." Ed cleared his throat, his face crimson. "I've always loved you… like this. When we were kids, it didn't matter, because we were kids, and had our whole lives ahead of us. But things have changed. And we still have our whole lives ahead of us. And I want us to spend it together. I want you to be my lover, and I want it to be forever. Before things go any further, you have to know. Once we take this step, there's no going back. You'll be mine. Forever. I'll never let you go, never give you to anyone else. I'll keep you with me, beside me, in my bed, forever. If… if this isn't what you want, say so now." Ed gave a shaky exhalation; unable to believe he'd managed to get it all out without fucking up. Talking about things deep in his heart had never been easy for him.
Al's tears returned, and he cupped Ed's face between his hands. "But Niisan, I'm already yours. I've always been yours. And I'll never be anything else, but yours. I thought you already knew this. Since we were kids, I've been yours and never wanted to be anything else. Nothing's changed. And it never will. I love you. I want this. I want you. Forever." This time, Al kissed him. This time it was Al's tongue invading Ed's mouth; hot, wet, needy.