Surprisingly, I originally wanted to do a comic of this before I turned it into a fic. Finally, I decided that that was never going to happen, so I wrote it out. Its better this way, anyhow, methinks.
DISCLAIMER: I'm only saying this once, so listen up: I do not own Harvest Moon or any of its characters. I own this plot, and all the quirky situations Jack gets into. Rest assured that once I do own Harvest Moon, I'll be sure to tell you.
THE OTHER MANDATORY DISCLAIMER: This isn't going to be yaoi. It seems that way, but it'll clear up and be heterosexual in a few chapters. For all the fangirl hearts I just broke – hold your breath, I'm working on something really juicy. ;D
The morning of Jack's third year anniversary of working on the farm started out just as any other morning. He woke up in his big, empty bed; fixed breakfast in his big, empty kitchen; and ate said breakfast at his big, empty dining table. No wife, no kids – just a big empty house, which clashed against his big, lustrous, lively farm.
And that's how he wanted it. Always.
So, when he opened his door to greet his big, lustrous, lively farm, he was a little taken aback by the sight of a short, stout, bumbling man in red. As Jack regained his balance, the little man pushed up his glasses and spoke.
"Good morning, Jack!" He greeted warmly. "Do you know what day it is today?"
Jack smiled, humouring the little man. "No, I don't know, Mayor Thomas. Do tell."
Thomas' bushy eyebrows rose, obviously not catching the sarcasm. "Jack! It's Spring 1st – and your third year anniversary, at that!" The Mayor's warm smile returned. "And so, I and the entire town have planned a party for you."
Jack grinned. "Thank you, Mayor," he started, making his way past the hip-high man. "I'll just do up my chores and – oof!"
"No!" Mayor Thomas said bluntly, ignoring the young man writhing in pain after being pulled to the ground. "You're coming now." With that, the mayor left the farm, dragging the farmer by the pant leg.
--
"Congratulations, Jack!"
Jack's spirits rose as his friends cried out to him in chorus. He grinned wildly as foods and presents and more congratulations were given. Stories were shared, and Karen even sang a beautiful song for him, accompanied by the other girls on instruments.
Somewhere during the celebrating, Zack approached his best friend. "Hey, Jack – 'grats."
Jack looked up from his grape juice and smiled. "Thanks, man. This is great," he paused and laughed, "but I think my animals are starving by now."
Zack grinned and took a seat beside the farmer. They watched the bachelorettes of Mineral Town laughing and talking, each of them glancing at Jack time after time. Finally, Zack had had enough. "Hey, I have a question." The shipper turned, and after he saw Jack was listening, he continued, "Why don't you get married? All of the women are absolutely in love with you, and you still show no interest."
Jack's face went blank for a moment as he thought. Finally, he looked down and spoke. "I don't know. I just don't want to think about it right now, I guess."
Zack grinned. "Well, you certainly don't have to think about marriage to think about those girls. I'm sure even Mary would be happy just going home with you!"
Jack's head whipped around as he glared at Zack. "Enough. Don't you dare talk about those girls – or any girls, for that matter – like that."
Zack stared at Jack and their eyes locked. "Man, I'm sorry … you know it was just a joke." He looked away and scratched the back of his head. "Hell, you know how I feel about Popuri's mom. There's no way I'd be able to treat any girl like that."
Jack sighed and stared back at his juice. "Why don't you tell her, Zack? I mean, she knows, but no woman likes it when a guy beats around the bush."
Zack sighed, staring off into the distance towards the corner of Rose Square, where the women of the town had gathered, including Lillia. "I don't want to ruin their home. I think the only reason why Lillia's still alive is because of the thought that her husband may be coming home that day."
The other man gazed in the direction his friend was staring, and nodded. "I understand."
--
The day wore on, and 6 o'clock chimed in the distance.
"All right, everyone! Thank you very much for coming!" Mayor Thomas called out, megaphone in hand and standing on an over-turned orange box. "Congratulations once more to you, Jack!"
Jack grinned. "Thanks, Mayor – and to everyone else, as well," He packed up all the gifts and began making his way towards the exit. "However, I think my animals are in dire need of attention, so I should return home now-!"
He was cut short once again, this time by two pairs of arms wrapping around his own. "Oh, no you don't!" Karen called in one ear.
"Now it's time for the real party at the Inn!" Ann called in the other.
The two girls kicked Jack's legs out from under him and dragged him towards the Inn, followed closely by the three other girls, and the rest of the town, excluding Ellen, Barley, and the kids.
Jack grinned weakly. "This day is just dragging on." He chuckled slightly at his own stupid pun, and sighed in defeat.
--
"Whoop!" Karen hollered as Duke passed out. She raised her mug in victory and chugged the rest of it down. "Who daresh try t' beat me?!" She threw her head back in maniacal laughter, almost losing her balance.
Jack grinned at her. She had just defeated Duke, Ann, Gray, Cliff, Popuri, Elli, and Mary (who was suckered into the contest) and was now dancing clumsily on the table, with Rick stumbling at her feet, ready to catch her if she falls.
"Now why wouldn't you want that, Jack?" Zack grinned as he sat down beside the sleepy farmer.
"Mm … can't imagine any reason not to just lunge for her right now," he replied, smirking as he took another swing at his beer. He glanced at the shipper, trying to determine how drunk he was. His speech seemed clear, but the pasty look of his face and the glassy look of his eyes gave him away.
Sighing, Jack stood. "Come on, man – you've had enough, and it's time to go home." He tugged on the other man's muscular arm.
"No, I'm fine, Jack. Just a few more – I'm only on my … uhh … eighth? Or ninth – one of the two."
Jack glanced at the huge glass mug in Zack's hand. Even just three of those could topple Karen, he thought, still tugging on the man's arm.
"Oh, are ya leavin', Wacky-Jacky?" Karen mumbled as she slowly made her way over to Jack. "Can I come home wif you, too?" She asked, snuggling up to his shoulder.
Jack rolled his eyes – he was far too tired for this. "No – why don't you go home with Rick? I'm sure he'd like it." At that, he saw Rick jump and blush, but not deny it.
Karen stared at Rick, obviously considering it. "Maybe … but only if you go home wif me next time, okies?"
Jack cleared his throat, annoyed. "Sure thing, Karen - you know I will."
"Yay!" The drunken woman cheered, throwing her arms around the farmer and kissing him on the cheek – before she belched in his face. Cackling, and wandered over to a very happy looking Rick and grabbed his hands, leading him out the door.
Jack returned his attention to Zack, who was looking even queasier than before. "Okay, let's get you home. Don't you want to be in your nice, warm bed?"
"I s'pose so," Zack mumbled, lifting his gigantic frame off the chair. He leaned against Jack as he was led out the door.
"We're leaving," Jack said to Doug and Thomas, who were both chatting at the bar, as he left the building, "Thanks for everything – see you tomorrow."
They nodded their farewells, and continued their conversation about the perfect miso soup. Jack let the door slam behind him, glad to have Zack near as the cold, midnight air hit him. They made their way to Rose Square, while Zack mumbled some things under his breath.
"Hey, Jack?" He finally piped up. "Here's another question – what do you think makes a 'perfect woman'?"
Jack thought. "I don't know," he replied with a shrug. He was more concentrating on not collapsing under the weight of Zack.
"I'll tell you what I think makes a perfect woman – a hard worker; one that doesn't succumb to fatigue and that works all day long." He regained his footing after stumbling on the sand. "I want a woman that knows what she wants and isn't afraid to fight for it. Hey, Jack? I want a woman who's a lot like you."
"That's nice, Zack – where are your keys?" Jack asked, ignoring the last comment.
Zack began patting down his pockets, still talking. "I mean, I don't want a guy. But you're really hard working. Day in and day out." Finding his keys, Zack gave them to Jack. After being led in and to his bed, he started talking again. "You're really pretty too, Jack."
"Wonderful, thank you for telling me that. Do you want some water?" Jack offered, trying to hide his blushing face by wandering over to the sink.
"Oh, yeah – that'd be nice, thanks," Zack said, lying down and putting his arm over his forehead. He glanced over to the other man, whose long ponytail reached past his hips. "But it's true, Jack – you have really nice, long hair, deep chocolate eyes, full lips, slender jaw. All-in-all, you'd make a really pretty girl."
"Zack, stop talking. You're drunk," he set the glass on the night table. "Here's your water, but I have to go home now. See you later."
As he turned to leave, his pocket caught on something. He looked down to see it was Zack's fingers clinging tightly to the jeans of his overalls, and he was slowly but forcefully pulling him down. "Z-Zack, what are you doing?" Jack asked timidly, stumbling as he was pulled onto the bed. A strong arm pulled him down to his back and towards the other man, forcing him to hear the last drunken comment of the night.
"If you were a girl, I'd do you."
Jack grimaced. "Thanks Zack, I definitely appreciate that." He waited a few moments until snoring erupted from the shipper, and rose from the bed, carefully moving his arm away.
As he stood to head out the door, he mumbled, "If I were a girl, I'd probably fall for every word you just said."
With that, he wandered into the night to go back to his big, empty house, make supper in his big, empty kitchen, eat said supper at his big, empty dining table, and crawl into his big, empty bed to convince himself that this is what he wanted.
Always.
Geh, it seems sad now, but it'll get cheerier soon, I promise. XD
Also, I really don't like this title. Can anyone think of a better one?
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