Another new plot bunny, I know... I couldn't get this idea out of my head though and had to write it down and felt like it was a really interesting start to a story. You guys will have to let me know if you agree. I wanted to give myself a challenge, I've never written from Brooke's head so it was a bit of a challenge, I'm more a P. Sawyer girl just because I relate with her so much. I came up with the idea based off a Kelly Clarkson song called "Save You", mixed with Blink 182's "I Miss You", you will see the influences of those songs throughout this story. That is... if you want me to continue. Sophia being casted as a cop in Chicago PD also gave me a nudge to write this as well.

Disclaimer - I own nothing.

"So, how do you feel today Brooke?" Her therapist asked looking up at the brunette from over her glasses while scrawling notes in her notebook.

"The same. This isn't going to help me. I'm only here for one reason and that's because Haley is making me come here." Brooke responded agitated.

"Brooke, you've been coming here over a year now… don't you think it's time you opened up about some of these things you're feeling inside? It can't hurt… We aren't going to make progress if you won't talk about it, right?" The therapist asked back with a smile.

"What the hell is there to talk about exactly? Talking about it won't bring her back, will it? No! Why don't you write that down in your little book!" Brooke responded jumping up from the couch and headed out the door slamming it behind her.

It had been three years.

Three years.

Six months.

17 days.

The pain only had gotten worse as the time had gone on.

She had tried everything, but nothing would make it stop and nothing would bring her back.

She was dying a slow death and all Brooke could wonder was where she was. If she was still alive out there, somewhere, safe. That's all she could hope for. Anything else was just… unbearable.

All the money in the world hadn't helped so far. No leads. No clues of her whereabouts.

Vanished.

And no one even seemed to care anymore except for her. Everyone had moved on with their lives.

But she was stuck here. Standing still. She watched as everyone moved on and she'd never be able to, not without Peyton.

And all she felt was guilt.

This was her fault. She would never be able to shake the nightmare of the night it happened.

Maybe things would be different if she had just….

"Oh no, you aren't doing this to yourself again, Brooke!" Haley said entering the room and plopping down on the bed.

"Doing what?" Brooke responded not lifting her head from the pillow.

"You! You're in Peyton's bed, clutching that same picture frame Brooke…" Haley responded gently trying to be understanding of her friend.

"Nothing smells like her anymore Haley… Nothing…" Brooke responded with a crack in her voice threatening to lose her composure again.

"Well, sweetie, you've been sleeping in here three years…. And you've worn just about all of her band tees to sleep for the same amount of time… of course it's not going to smell like her anymore." Haley responded softly soothing her hair.

"I've used every detergent I could. Even the one Peyton used… That's what Peyton did when her mom died you know? When things stopped smelling like her, she washed this shirt of hers like… a million times in a million different detergents trying to get it to smell like her mom again. I helped her of course… but we could never bring it to smell like her mom again… It was just gone…" Brooke said on the verge of a breakdown.

"Brooke… you've got to stop doing this to yourself. Dr. Feldman called me today and told me you walked out of your session… that's certainly not going to help." Haley was trying to help, but she was running out of ways to try to help her friend. She missed Peyton too, but not like Brooke did. No one did.

"Look, I know she helped you when you and Nathan were going through a bad time and she's helped you guys become a family with Jamie again… but she can't help me with this. No one can Hales. There's only one thing that's going to help me and that's finding my P. Sawyer…" Brooke said tracing her fingers over the picture frame again.

"You aren't going to stop, are you?" Haley asked.

"She never gave up on me Haley… I'm not going to give up on finding her. And you guys shouldn't either." Brooke sat up angry with her for even questioning it. Who was she to tell her to back down?

"Whoa… look Brooke. I miss her too. And so does Nathan. And so does Jamie… Do you not think I have to make up stories to tell Jamie every day to convince him his Aunt Peyton is okay? But I haven't let it consume my life like you have. Peyton wouldn't have wanted that." Haley responded defensive.

"You don't know anything about what Peyton would have wanted Haley. You have no idea." Brooke responded bitterly still looking at the frame between her fingers.

Haley decided she was fighting a losing battle, and had been for over three years now. She took the frame from Brooke's hands and eyed it carefully, the two best friends wrapped in each other's arms smiling wide, but Brooke was looking at Peyton almost looking like she was whispering a secret only meant for the other in her ear as she held her face in her hands and Peyton open mouthed smiled for the camera. They both looked so genuinely happy. A look Haley hadn't seen, not even remotely close, on Brooke's face since that day three years ago. She placed the frame back on Peyton's bedside table and looked back at Brooke.

"Mia's in town you know? We just finished up her second album. Come over for dinner tonight. Lucas and Lindsey are back from New York…. And Jamie misses you. It'll be fun!" Haley said upbeat.

"Fun… yeah." Brooke scoffed, "I do miss my Godson though…" Brooke sighed. She didn't know how to have fun anymore; she had found rare, very rare moments where she had let her guard down enough to enjoy life in the slightest. But they had been very few and far between and only lasted seconds. And in those moments, she felt guilty for even feeling any sense of joy at all.

Haley got up from the bed and made her way to the door, "I'll see you tonight. Come over around six."

Brooke forced herself to take a shower and get ready. Sleep never came anymore and on days when she wasn't working at least 12 hour days to keep busy, she found herself holing up in Peyton's room, much like Peyton used to do when they were in high school. She had even learned to have an appreciation for that music she deemed horrible back in high school. Since Peyton had been gone Brooke had played all of her records numerous times, she did anything just to feel in the slightest connected to her. To have some piece of her back.

It was after 7:00 when Brooke got to Naley's. She hated leaving the house unless it was to go to work.

"Hey Brooke, didn't know if you'd show… come on in." Nathan said stepping to the side to let Brooke in. Everyone was gathered around having what seemed to be a great time. But all of it just felt wrong to Brooke. She hated that they could act so…. Normal about all this. She was just about to bolt when…

"Aunt Brooke! I've missed you!" Jamie said gripping Brooke's pant leg.

"I've missed you too buddy, sorry I've just been really busy with work." Brooke said leaning down and hugging the little boy with all her might.

"I know you're sad about Aunt Peyton… but she'll come back. I know it! I mean… Nanny Carrie took me and I came back! Grandpa Dan rescued me and saved me… Someone will save Aunt Peyton too." Jamie said with a smile.

"I hope you're right buddy." Brooke tried to force a smile, but her eyes just welled with tears at her Godson's words.

"I'm glad you came over." Jamie said and went bouncing back into the living room where Skills was playing some basketball game.

Brooke hesitantly went and walked to the kitchen table where Mia, Nathan, Haley, Lucas, and Lindsey were all gathered.

Mia got up to hug Brooke, she was the only one Brooke felt no bitterness towards as she had actively tried to help in bringing Peyton back and she had seemed affected by it. Though, Nathan really tried his best too. Brooke and Mia talked all the time, but Mia rarely spent any time in Tree Hill, she tried to keep busy with touring and promoting her album. Much like Brooke, it was better to keep busy to try to occupy the thoughts constantly running through your mind and Tree Hill for Mia was a hard place to come back to.

"Hey guys… what's going on?" Brooke stated as she sat down next to Mia, across from Lindsey and Lucas.

"We were just talking about Lucas's new book; it's been pretty successful so far." Lindsey said with a smile kissing her husband on the lips. They had been married a little over 4 years now and Brooke still couldn't stand her, whereas Haley seemed to worship the ground she walked on.

"Isn't it about a Comet?" Brooke commented raising her eyebrow.

"Well…. Kinda… Not really." Lucas said.

"Do you think it's about Peyton or something, Brooke?" Lindsey stated. She'd always been insecure about Peyton and for good reason. She was talented, beautiful, kind, and she once had Lucas Scott's heart. But Peyton had made it very clear when her and Brooke came back to Tree Hill for each other, winning Lucas back was DEFINITELY not on her list of things to do. Brooke suspected however that Lucas was never able to let it go.

"It's about a Comet…." Brooke responded as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Peyton loved that car more than most things in her life.

"Whatever, we all know Peyton came back here to win Lucas back… only now she's not here to deny it." Lindsey added as Lucas remained quiet at the table.

Mia, Nathan, and Brooke jumped up from their spots. Nathan mainly because he knew this would cause a feud at the dinner table. Brooke leaned across the table pointing her finger in Lindsey's face.

"How dare you bitch! She DEFINITELY wasn't back here for your sorry excuse of a husband. I can tell you that. But she will be back. And she will tell you herself!" Brooke shouted and completely walked away from the table.

"Bitch." Mia grunted.

Brooke was on one mission and that was to get the hell out of there before she turned that bitch into a dessert plate.

"Wait up, I'm coming with you." Mia said panting catching up with Brooke as she had run from the table and was almost out the front door. Brooke did a complete 360 to stare at Mia. "You look surprised, you think I would EVER let someone bash Peyton? No chance in hell. That bitch has another thing coming. Let's get out of here." Brooke nodded and Mia grabbed her suitcase and they were out the door within seconds.

"Wait up! Brooke! You didn't even eat anything…We saved you a plate since you were late." Haley said as she made her way out to the driveway where Brooke had gotten in the Comet driver's door and Mia hopped in the passenger side with her suitcase in tow.

"Not hungry… I can't believe you Haley. I can't believe you'd let someone who thinks of Peyton like that in your house… I've really tried that patience thing for you because I think it's what Peyton would've wanted. But this is just the last straw. Tell Jamie I love him and I will see him soon." She said as she backed out of the driveway.

"You have everything you need?" Brooke asked Mia as she looked around the house.

"That's a loaded question…." Mia responded with a sigh. "Seems like just yesterday I was in this house showing you guys the album covers for the first album… and now she's not here for the second one…"

"I know…" Brooke said sadly. "Let me grab you a spare blanket."

They walked into Peyton's room and Mia looked around at the albums and photographs spread amongst the room.

"You can crash in my room." Brooke said with a slight smile.

"Where are you gonna sleep?" Mia asked confused.

"I sleep in here. I have been… since you know…." Mia nodded in understanding. She never questioned like the others.

Brooke turned off all the lights around the house, triple checked the locks to make sure they were locked, and crawled into bed. Maybe with Mia in the next room she'd be able to drift off for a few hours tonight.

She grabbed the picture frame by the bed again. She did the same thing she did every night. She kissed the Peyton in the photo and whispered "I'll never stop Peyton. I will save you. I'll never give up, I'm not going anywhere."

She placed the picture back on the nightstand with one last gentle touch to the frame and turned out the light.

This would never get easier.

It had been three years.

Six months.

17 days.

Since Peyton Sawyer was kidnapped.

What do you think? Good start? Should I continue with this one? Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about my other stories :)