Therapist

By:

Michiko Kaori

Summary: Sakura Haruno is famed for her clever evaluation in a couple's relationship. But when Karin and Sasuke Uchiha are enrolled in her sessions, she's in for a surprise she never saw coming. AU. SasuSaku.

"So, let me get this straight." I started. "You had asked her to be your wife just so she can bear you a child who will take over your family's legacy?"

By the time I finished, the man, Auburn hair and chunky brown eyes wearing a fairly plain polo shirt looked queasy; shifting uncomfortably on the onyx black leather couch.

Ha!

I love it when I hit jackpot.

I noted that his hands had become restless, hence intertwining them to ease his anxiousness. The woman, who sat at the opposite edge of the couch, was on the verge of tears—I could tell. The way she gasped uncontrollably and shook beyond belief gave it away. Sympathetically, I softened my military façade.

I couldn't help it; I raise my hands and hang my hand in shame for my unprofessionalism.

It was devastating—really. Had they been married for just a year, I wouldn't feel bad as much. But they were married for fifteen years.

I mean, what kind of bastard would marry a woman—who loves him to death—just because he wanted her to bear him a child to maintain his family's reputation?

Pretty low if you ask me.

I turned to the man again, just so that I could refrain myself from being biased in this session. He still remained immobile sound-wise, and the room was as still as the midnight view. I shifted on my beloved beige armchair, suddenly deciding that I didn't feel quite relaxed. Feeling slightly bored, I checked my fancy looking faux leather wristwatch.

I cleared my throat and tapped my clipboard a good three times with my Parker pen, breaking the eerie silence.

"Well, I'm afraid our time is up. But let me say that we have made a progress in uncovering some of your relationship's difficulties." I said, flipping my pink hair back. The woman, who deemed disappointed with the conclusion of our session, faced me.

"M-Ms. Haruno—may I ask what you have seen as the problem?" She asks uneasily. I stood up and approached my desk with my clipboard in hand.

"Well, initially in the session I believe that with what both of you have answered to my questions that your relationship lacks social connection." I started, looking up from the paper to see that both eyes glued on me. I faintly smiled before continuing.

"Seeing as you, sir, leave your wife and child due to your business frequently, it may be your own obstacle on how you can build a bridge so as to reach your wife again. It's plainly obvious that you're distant to her, socially and physically. Might I suggest devoting a few hours to her?" I ask calmly and yet the man stood up, outraged I assume.

"Ms. Haruno, are you trying to tell me I should just leave my company meetings just so I can get to know her like a giddy teenager?!" He exclaims. I resisted the urge to shout back at him, saying, "What the hell do you mean by that? She's your wife darn it!"

"Sir, I think you misinterpreted my suggestion. I was only trying to tell you that in order to save your marriage; you must give your wife some of your time for your sake, her sake and your son's sake." I said professionally. It's such a wonder how business men can be so good with numbers and so bad with words.

"It's not me who's distant, it's her!"

"Excuse me if I'm interrupting your false speech but I've been trying to spend time with you—casually trying to start a conversation but you keep pushing me away!"

Sigh.

They're at it again.

"I'm sorry, but I have to intrude. I have another session just five minutes from now so if you don't mind." I said and nod towards the door. I turn some papers that are on my clipboard and start talking once more. "Alright then, this shouldn't be too hard. Both of you must either spend at least two hours together, just to get to know one another then narrate to me what happened in our incoming session, or list ten things you like about your partner and ten things you dislike about them."

Once finished, I give a million watt smile and clap my hands together.

"Well that's it, off you go then." I watched them approach the door, and then saw the husband leave. The wife however, had stopped on her tracks and beamed an admittedly beautiful smile.

"Thank you very much Ms. Haruno. I owe you the world. I look forward to our next session oh so much." She said then curtly nodded at me. "Thanks again."

With that, the woman left. I was speechless, to say the least. For the lack of better words, I say—was that woman whack? I haven't patched up their marriage yet. In addition, to be quite honest, I'm not too sure if I can. I'm presuming the man never loved her but then again, then again I may just be overestimating the man's lack of credibility.

And honestly, I pity the woman. Loved him to death, she did. Not caring what her friends advised just so that she can be with him. She told me, in one of out earlier one on one sessions, that she had waited for her love for roughly eight years. I never would have guessed that she waited that long and withheld her intuitions because she believed that they were it for each other…

…But apparently, he only wanted her for child bearing.

It's so sad, isn't it? If I were in her shoes, I would never let a man control me. I would never make him cause me such moroseness—I mean, what man has the right?! If you ask me, I'd—

"Ms. Haruno, i-it's time for your next session." Hinata, my assistant, tells me ever so softly from behind my closed door. She's just this little angel who can't even utter a single audible word to the man of her dreams. Yes—even my assistant needs my surveying. She is in love with a hyperactive, blonde—well at least from what I was told. He is very talkative, humorous and a very trustworthy man. From her stories, I could understand how she fell for him.

Ah if only my love life was as active as hers was. Since my career as a relationship counselor is pretty much on the fast track, I've not enough time for any rendezvous. And catching the eye of the red-haired swimming coach from down the road isn't too much of a good thing. I wouldn't date anyone who doesn't even portray any of the requirements of being my dream man.

Yes, I have a dream man! And don't you dare make fun of me!

My dream man has to have black hair, don't ask. I just have this thing for men who have silky black hair. He has to be tall but not too tall. Has to have the most enticing eyes I've ever seen and has to make good money for a living.

Not to mention, has to have an appeal of a Greek God.

Oh and more importantly, he has to have a good attitude. I mean, I can't go on a date with an ice-cube now can I? Obviously I—

"Ms. Haruno, are you there?" Hinata asks. I guess I've been spacing again.

Me and my imagination.

"Yes Hinata, bring them in." I said. I observe my office, swirling around my desk chair, so that I can repair or fix whatever flaw that may look disgraceful for my office. Then there, I just noticed that my blinds have been covering my windows, and it's only eleven in the morning. What a waste to cover the beautiful sun-lit view of the peaceful city of Konoha.

Ah Konoha.

Dubbed as the most peace-loving city in the Fire country. Despite the fact that the troubled city of Suna is on our neighboring border—and the equally chaotic city of Oto somewhere near our boundary, it can still remain its bipolar opposite. The thing is, whatever their mayors are doing is so totally wrong. Thankfully, our mayor, Madame Tsunade as I would call her, knows when to gamble with her luck. As a result from a friendly wager, she has now mastered the art of making peace with the city.

Ha. And you don't even know what I'm talking about, I reckon.

But anyway, as I've said, the people here in Konoha are the nicest bunch you will ever meet. Have I mentioned that I'm very good friends with the mayor? Ha! I bet you didn't see that coming. Funny how I met her really, she—

"Why can't you open the door for me like any other guy?!"

"Well now I hope it's clear to you and your midget brain that I'm not like any other guy." Just then, after I opened the blinds, I turned around and saw my presumably next clients. A woman, wearing a ludicrously skimpy top and skirt—eyes copper and the hair of the same hue, had entered while bickering with a man who was yet to be revealed behind the door.

To catch their attention—and make my presence known—I cough in a rather fake manner.

"Uhm excuse me—you must be Ms. Karin. I'm—"

"How dare you insult my brain?!" Okay, that's a first. Someone just cut me off.

Me.

Me.

ME!

"Well forgive me your highness; I forgot you didn't have one."

Woah.

Homerun for whoever that man was.

And it's confirmed to be a knockout, ladies and gents. The copper-haired woman with green outlined glasses just gasped and walked towards the sofa of torment.

She sat on the right-most edge of the couch, to my view of course. Crossing her legs and arms, the huffing of her chest and puffing up her cheeks as well. Uh oh! Spoiled brat alert!

Ha.

Sorry for that.

It has just been a millennium since I've had clients with such an interesting entrance.

I guess it will be one of those, HTBT moments for me.

On an unbiased and quick observation, I would think that the woman wasn't the only problem here. Stereotypically, a woman like her should either be partnered with an obnoxious jerk who only wants her for her physical traits, or a really desperate, greedy and rich old man.

Yes, yes. I know. Shame on Sakura Haruno for relying on typecast relationships.

Well, you can't exactly blame me, can you?

Okay fine, you can.

But when you're bored, a relationship counselor, twenty-six and single, you just can't help it.

And anyway, as I've said, I could tell that the woman wasn't the only problem here. I mean, have you heard the way the man answered her earlier on? Talk about being gallant. He wouldn't even open the door for her! While I'm half-and-half about this, a man should at least open the door for his woman.

I mean, gosh. Poor her! And she even got her intelligence insulted.

I bet this man is someone who's overly flaunting and who had only gotten a hold of this woman because of his money. I mean, no woman would want to be with any man who talks like that to her. I bet he has a face of a—

"Are we going to start this session or what?"

Oh my Greek God.

This man is gorgeous!

Such beautiful black hair that is adjacent on his face, stunning onyx orbs and one hell of a body.

He's—he's exactly like my dream man!

Okay, deep breaths Sakura—deep breaths.

Remain professional; you must not jump on this man.

Repeat after me, thou must remain professional and refrain from jumping on this man.

Thou must remain professional and refrain from jumping on this overly sexy man.

Thou must remain professional and refrain from jumping on this severely gorgeous man.

Thou must remain professional and refrain from jumping on this molten lava hot man.

Thou must—

I look up to see two pairs of eyes staring at me. Apparently, I've been chanting aloud. Not to mention I've sat on the floor with my legs crossed and looked like I was meditating.

Shit.

I stood up, straightening my clothes before laughing sheepishly.

"O-oh, ri-right. Yes. Sorry." I said, trying to remain calmed. I strode towards my desk and grasped my mocha-brown clipboard, then clearing my throat. "Welcome, Ms. Karin and Mr. Sasuke Uchiha." As replies, I receive a snort from the red-haired woman whom I presume is Karin and an uninterested face from Mr. Sasuke.

Mmm.

Mr. Sasuke.

I like the sound of that.

Clearing my throat once more, I clap my hands together and sit on my beige armchair and shifted myself until I was comfortable.

"Shall we get started?" I said enthusiastically as I watched Mr. Sexy—uhm, I mean Sasuke—yeah, that's the guy, sit on the opposite end of the leather couch. I receive a nod from Karin and another look from Mr. Oh So Hot which read, I'm-here—kill-me-now.

"A-alright then. Why did you enroll in my sessions?" I asked.

"We didn't." They say in unison. Perplexedly, I give them a quizzical look.

"I beg your pardon?" Sasuke—yes I finally got it right—gave me yet another look before he answers.

But it seems his partner beat him to it.

"Just that, pinky. Sasuke-kun and I weren't the ones who wanted to do this." She started. "His dad enrolled us here." I blinked.

Well, that's another first.

"Uhm, alright then. Well, let's move on. What's the foundation of your relationship?" I ask. Sasuke remains silent while Karin on the other hand, replies me with a question of her own.

"Oh sorry, Sasuke-kun doesn't like wearing make-up." She said. Trying to desist myself from laughing—which took more effort than usual—I try to just smile.

But hell was it hard.

"I-I meant, how your relationship started Karin." I replied. She gives me a sort of snobbish look while Sasuke smirks in amusement.

Oh, he is gorgeous.

"Please excuse her; her brain capacity must not be overrated." Sasuke jokes as I again tried my hardest not to laugh. Karin on the other hand seemed to be angered by his remark.

"How dare you Sasuke-kun!" She exclaims. Standing up and clenching her fists.

"Don't call me that. I feel like I'm a cat when you do." He says and plops up an elbow on the arm of the couch and rested his jaw on his knuckles.

"Ugh! And who on earth will you allow to call you that, hm?! If not your fiancée, then who?!" She interjects. Sasuke who was looking at Karin now looked at me with a malicious grin. I gulped audibly and backed up to until I felt the back of the chair.

"How about you, Haruno." He suggests. Taken aback—and not to mention flustered—I gulp once more and tried to smile. But instead, I ended up looking like Sai—my architect and carpenter—who when smiles, looks like a sadist who took pictures of his drunk friend in his underwear while singing in the streets.

Trust me, you do not want to be in that 'friend's' shoes.

…Or underwear.

Or…uhh…nevermind.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't quite understand what you're saying Mr. Uchiha." I say hastily. Thankful to Kami-sama, he smirks and says, "Nevermind."

"Alright then, would someone mind telling me how you've met your partner?" I start.

"Well, Haruko—is it?" She asks. Had it not been for my will to maintain this session professional and at my league, I would've twitched like there's no tomorrow.

"Actually, it's Haruno—"

"Whatever. No one really cares."

Ugh!

The nerve!

How dare she cut me off and say no one cares!

Apparently she's wrong because someone did ask what my name was and had asked me to go out with him, thank you very much!

Oh nevermind, the Queen Bitc—I mean Karin is speaking.

"Well my love and I haven't spoken to each other until that day my uncle met his father. But everyone could tell he had the hots for me." She says promiscuously and batting her eyelashes to Sasuke flirtatiously—who in my opinion was much more interested in the cherry blossom-pink wall parallel to him. "So my uncle and his father got to talking and stuff and decided we should get hitched."

I blinked.

Again.

So… they never really wanted to get married?

Oh yes!

"So, getting betrothed was never your idea?" I ask curiously. Karin looks at me and laughs.

"No! How dumb are you?" She asks me and laughs some more, snorting now and then. "Have you even heard a thing I was saying? I told you it was my uncle and his father's idea to have us married. Not betrothed! Whatever that is."

Way to say who's dumb Karin.

Minutes pass and before I knew it, it was almost an hour. Therefore, I decided to give them their assignments for the next session now.

"Well then, here is what I'm assigning the both of you to do for the next meeting." I started. "First off, I want the both of you to spend three hours together, conversing like any other couple and then dictate to me what you have done next week."

"Why the hell do we have to do what you say Sakura?" Sasuke asks.

Ooh.

Sa-ku-ra.

Mmm.

My name sounds so beautiful when he says it…

"Well, may I remind you that I know your father's call numbers. In fact, he's sent me a memo that if the session encounters any hindrances, I have to call him right away. And we wouldn't want that now, would we, Sasuke-kun." I teased; earning a smirk from him and a piercing glare from Karin who in return stood up, grabbed Sasuke's arm, and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"He's mine Haruno." She threatens. I giggle softly before bowing apologetically to Karin.

"Don't worry Ms. Karin, I mean no peril to your on-going relationship with Mr. Uchiha." I said and went behind my desk and sat on my revolving chair. "Well then, off you go."

And with that, I received another glare from Karin and a gorgeous smirk from Sasuke before he started bickering to the redhead about any proximity.

Then the door closed.

And here I was, once again.

I reached for the papers I had asked Sasuke and Karin to write on, which contained the things they knew about their partners. Initially, I read Karin's.

Things I know about MY Sasuke:

He wants me.

He secretly likes it when I wear short and tight clothes.

He loves my hair color.

He wants people to think he hates it when I call him pet names because he doesn't want them to think he's not cool.

He so does not like YOU.

After reading the contents of Karin's paper, I couldn't help but laugh at her work. Not to say I was making fun of her but it's that I have this nagging feeling that Sasuke's would contain the exact opposite.

Ha!

His paper didn't even have a title. What a man. But once I laid my eyes on the paper, all I saw were two words.

Call me.

A/N: Yes, yes. I'm aware that I'm handling a lot of fics and that the tenses in this pilot chappie is mixed up. Blame it on reading one of the Shopaholic books. I'm mixed up with writing in the present and past tenses. I apologize for that. I'll repair this chapter once I have time so for now, this is it.

Haha, OOC much? Yes I know it's true my characters here are OOC, but that's the beauty of fanfiction isn't it? I'm out of time, so review please!

Flames are accepted, wheras con-crits and reviews are loved. :)

--M. Kaori