Marissa stood on her electric scale. 110.2, it flashed at her. Not good enough, she mentally scolded herself. Not good enough. Not tiny enough.
5 more pounds to go.
She jumped on her electric scale, freezing in only her smiley face boxers and a bra. 104.6, the red letters pronounced. Not good enough. Definitely not good enough.
She stood in front of the mirror. She grabbed at her stomach. Ew, disgusting. That will have to go. She glanced at her breasts. Useless fat, that will have to go. She grabbed at her upper arms, disgusted with the fat that wasn't there.
She bent over the toilet and stuffed her index finger and her middle finger in her throat. First, she only gagged. But then she felt her stomach turn as her lunch of one apple slice and a glass of green tea came up.
10 more pounds to go.
She ate nothing for 3 days. She weakly got onto the scale. 95.8 it screamed at the world. Disgusting, definitely. She stood in front of the mirror and lifted her arms, fingering the ribs that we're beginning to become more and more pronounced. She wrapped her index and middle finger around her wrist, and there was still room.
Good, but not good enough. She must be perfect, she told herself. Skeletal and beautiful.
At 87.6 pounds, her hair began to fall out. She started growing fine hair all over her body. Her period stopped. But she wasn't worried about any of this. She was just on her way to perfection.
She reached 82.3 pounds. She had no more energy. But there's always room for improvement, she told herself. Always.
She began to fast. She passed out a few times, but she told herself she was ok. After 4 days, her body went into ketosis, so she didn't feel the hunger pains that made it difficult for her to sleep at night. Starvation is perfection, she told herself.
79.3 pounds. People we're starting to get worried. They told her she was too skinny, they told her to eat. She was adamant. She would not let disgusting food pass her lips.
She told herself she didn't need to eat.
Everyone told her she had to eat.
76.4 pounds. They took her to the hospital, after she had passed out in French class. There, she was pronounced severely underweight and anemic. Every day, she had to have an IV full of essential nutrients attached to her.
She was slowly losing the tiny body she loved and hated.