Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, they all belong to the CW (unfortunately).
Summary: This is a song fic based on the song Everything you Want by Vertical Horizon. This is about the person who is really there for Sammy and who isn't.
It starts out when there younger then progresses to the present.
The song Everything you Want is by Vertical Horizon
Somewhere
there's speaking
It's already coming in
Oh, and it's rising
at the back of your mind
You
never could get it
Unless you were fed it
Now you're here and
you don't know why
Six year old Sammy woke with a start. Breathing heavily he looked around his room and realized he was safe 'it was just a dream, nothing to be afraid of. Right?' But looking around his dark room Sam suddenly didn't want to be alone, so he ran to the room of the one person he could always count on to keep him safe. Dean.
Even before Dean was fully awake, he could sense that there was someone else in the room with him. With his hand already wrapped around his trusty knife that lay underneath his pillow he was ready to attack when he heard a small voice.
"D-Dean?" Sam stammered, standing in Dean's door. Thinking he was just being a baby and that going to Dean was a dumb idea Sam turned to go back to his room but stopped was stopped by Dean's hand on his arm. Dean spun Sam around so he was looking at him.
Kneeling in front of Sam, Dean said, "Hey kiddo. Where do you think you're going? You can't just wake a guy up in the middle of the night without some type of explanation."
For a second Sam felt guilty for waking Dean up in the first place, but realized by the smirk on his face that he was only kidding. But his guilt still seemed to get the better of him, "Ummm, It's just… Never mind, really, I'm sorry I woke you. I'm gonna go back to bed."
Sam started towards his room again, but Dean stopped him in his tracks, "Stop right there young man! You turn right back around and get over here."
Reluctantly, Sam turned back around and walked over to where Dean now stood. Dean got back down on his knees and lifted Sam's chin, forcing him to look in his eyes, "Now tell me what's wrong." Sam's lip started to tremble and he looked like he was about to cry, so a little softer Dean said, "Sammy? Hey buddy, talk to me. You know you can tell me anything right?" Sam nodded but still remained silent, so with a smile Dean urged Sam to tell him what was going on, "ok, so now that we've got that covered, you want to tell me what's wrong? Ooh, I think I know. Another nightmare huh?" Again Sam nodded and this time the tears fell down his small cheeks and Dean pulled Sam into a hug. Sam then wrapped his small arms around Dean's neck and held on for dear life. "Was it a bad one?" Dean asked, and wasn't surprised when Sam nodded, "still the same one?" but was surprised when Sam shook his head no. Since Dean was starting to get uncomfortable kneeling on the carpet he stood up, lifting Sam with him and went to sit down on his bed with Sam still clinging onto his neck. Dean sat Sam down on his lap and pried his little arms from the back of his neck to get Sam to look at him again. "Can you tell me what this one was about?"
Dean saw Sam nod and hesitating slightly he began to tell his brother about his nightmare, "It was really bad Dean. We were on a hunt and I was with you and Daddy, but suddenly you both were just gone! I started screaming for you but you didn't come and I couldn't find either of you, and I was so scared. So started running and running, and I couldn't stop until I suddenly ran into this scary man and then fell to the ground. I looked up into his face and he started laughing. I didn't know what was so funny until he told me that you and Daddy were gone and never coming back! I screamed at him and told him he was lying but then he moved so I could see behind him, and I saw you and Daddy unconscious so I ran over and touched your cheek but it was cold. I listened to your chest but I couldn't hear your heart so I knew you were dead, then I listened to Daddy's and his was the same. I realized that the man was right and I was all alone, then I looked up and he was gone, then when I looked back down and both you and Daddy had disappeared also, then I woke up." By this time Sam was sobbing into Dean's chest, afraid that if he let go Dean would really be gone and he would be all alone. A little unnerved by his brother's nightmare, Dean, already holding onto Sam, held him a little tighter and tried to quiet him, "Shh Sammy, it's ok, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. Me and Daddy, were both fine." Dean kept this up for a good twenty minutes until Sam began to quiet down. Sam then pulled away from Dean and looked him in the eyes, "Dean?"
"Ya kiddo?"
"Promise you'll never leave me?"
A little taken aback, but not wanting to make a promise he couldn't keep he said, "I can't promise that I won't ever leave, but while I am here, I'll always be here for you. You got that?"
Sam, seemingly accepting the answer just nodded, then went back to hugging Dean, not wanting to let go. Dean saw Sam's eyes start to droop and, after yawning himself, realized they both needed some sleep. With slight protest from Sam, Dean moved both of them to the head of the bed and covered Sammy, pulling the covers up to his chin. Then, as quietly as he could, he got up and began to walk out when he heard Sam, "Dean! Where are you going??" Knowing that he needed to pacify the situation before Sam started crying again he said with a slight smirk, "Can't a guy go to the bathroom?" Sam sheepishly replied, "Oh, ya sorry, go ahead."
Finally, Dean came back to find Sam struggling to stay awake waiting for him. So Dean climbed into bed next to Sam and opened his arms allowing Sam to lay his head down on his chest so he could hear his heart beating. Sighing in content Sam closed his eyes and let sleep come to him. When Dean knew Sam was asleep he kissed him on the forehead and whispered, "I love you Sam" and a barely heard "Love you too Dean" was heard from Sam.
And
one person watching from the shadows who had seen the whole thing
said a silent 'good night boys' to his two sleeping sons. But
under skinned knees You howl and listen He's everything you
want
And the skid marks
Past the places where
you used to learn
Listen and wait for
the
Echoes of angels who won't return
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At
exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you
don't know why
You're
waiting for someone There's always another But
you'll just sit tight
To put you together
You're waiting for
someone to push you away
Wound to
discover
There's always something more you wish he'd say
And watch it unwind
It's only what
you're asking for
And you'll be just fine
With all of your
time
It's only what you're waiting for...
Twelve year old Sam was scared…no scratch that, he was terrified! 'Where are Dad and Dean?' Sam thought, 'Are they going to rescue me? Am I going to die here? Ok, ok, Sam stop panicking! Of course their coming!'
Sam struggled against the ropes that tied his hands together, but they wouldn't come loose. Sam's ribs already hurt like hell from being used as a punching bag by the demon that had kidnapped him. He just hoped that his Dad and brother could figure out where he was, because he wasn't quite sure himself. His thought process was cut off by footsteps coming towards the room he was in, Sam braced himself for the next attack but was still caught by surprise and the demon punched him hard in the face making him see stars. If that wasn't enough the demon lifted him up making the room spin even more and suddenly he was being held against the demon, its arm constricting his airway and he soon understood why,
"Hey pissface, why don't you pick on someone your own size huh?" he heard Dean say, and Sam rolled his eyes thinking 'only Dean would try and piss the Demon off more.' The demon didn't look fazed at all, "Come any closer hunter and I'll break his neck!" and it started backing up towards the door, Sam still held against its chest, but because its back was to the door it didn't notice John until it was too late.
Once it let go of Sam he began to slump to the ground and would have gone all the down had Dean not been there to catch him. Dean went to work cutting the rope from Sam's hands then allowed him to sag against his chest. Once Sam had some much needed oxygen back in his lungs he spoke up,
"D-dean?" he stammered
"Ya kiddo? What's wrong?" Dean asked worriedly thinking Sam was more hurt than he seemed.
With a smirk Sam asked, "Pissface? Is that the best you could come up with?"
With a little sigh of relief Dean chuckled, "Well, I thought I'd switch it up a little. Ass wipe was getting a little old."
Sam started to laugh which jarred his ribs and made him groan in pain, but he just kept laughing until his laughter turned into tears and Dean just held onto him and let him cry. After he had calmed down he looked down and said, "Sorry I don't know what came over me. G-d I'm being such a baby!"
Dean just pulled him close and said, "No you're not, it's a normal reaction, you were scared. But you're ok now and you're safe. Now what do you say we get up off this dirty floor and get you home?" Sam just nodded and allowed Dean to help him up. They reached the car at the same time there Dad did having taken care of the demon. He looked Sam over and asked, "You ok Sam?" Sam nodded trying to hide the fact that he had been crying not wanting to disappoint his Dad but he didn't seem to notice just nodded and said, "Let's go then"
Later that night when Sam woke up from a nightmare he shakily got onto his feet and padded into Dean's room and climbed into bed with Dean needing to feel safe. At twelve Sam thought it odd that he was going to his big brother and not his father to feel safe, but shrugged the thought off and went to sleep with Dean's arm protectively over his smaller body.
You never did notice I am everything
you want
Out
of the island
Into the highway
Past the places where you
might have turned
But you still hide
away
The anger of angels who won't return
I am everything you need
I am everything inside of
you
That you wish you could be
I say all the right things
At
exactly the right time
But I mean nothing to you
And I don't
know why
Twenty two year old Sam woke up gasping for air and without thinking called out to his brother, "Dean?" but he seemed to be dead to the world. So Sam did something he hadn't done since he was little, he trudged out of his bed and went over to Dean's and sat on the edge. Sam tried again this time laying a hand on his brother's arm, "Dean?". Dean was about to pull out his knife when he sensed someone next to him, but when he realized it was his brother he released his knife and sat up in bed, "Sheesh Sam, you scared the crap outta me! I was about ready to pull my knife out!"
Sam looked away suddenly regretting waking his brother up, "Sorry man, I didn't mean to. I don't even know what I'm doing, I'm uh just gonna go back to bed."
Sighing Dean stopped him, "Stop right there Sammy boy! I'm worried, you're not getting much sleep. Now I'm giving you this once in a lifetime chance to have the chick flick moment you've always wanted. So come and talk to me about what's on you're mind…no scratch that, what's in your mind. What are all these nightmares you keep having?"
Letting out a dramatic sigh, Sam walked back over and sat down on the bed next to Dean, "well I've been dreaming about Jess obviously, but that's nothing new. The one I had tonight is what's freaking me out." Sam looked away when he realized that tears were coming out of his eyes. Dean just sat there wanting him to go on said, "And?" Sam looked over at Dean and said, "You remember that dream I had when I was like six? Of you and Dad dying and I was left by myself?" Dean just nodded in response. He remembered most of Sam's nightmares and how he comforted him. Sam went on, "Well it was that same one, and I was six again and you guys both died, leaving me all alone…and it just really freaked me out." Sam looked at Dean with tears in his eyes and Dean pulled Sam in for a hug and held him tight reassuring him like when he was younger, "Shh Sam, it's ok, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere." Sam started to fall asleep in Dean's arms, and realizing that Sam wasn't six anymore and Dean couldn't just pick him up he roused Sam and moved him into the bed. Then Dean climbed in next to him and opened his arm allowing Sam to lie on his chest and listen to his heart beat. A few minutes later Sam spoke up,
"Hey Dean?"
"What's up kiddo?"
"What's wrong with me?"
Surprised by the question Dean sat up and looked at Sam, "What are you talking about?"
Sam just looked down and said, "Well, I really tried to do everything wanted us to when we were younger, but it was never enough. Why didn't he love me? Why doesn't he love me?"
Taken aback Dean said, "Of course he loves you Sam! I don't even know where that idea came from." All he got in response was a disbelieving grunt from Sam. Then Sam spoke up, "That's ok Dean, I understand. At least I had you."
"Hey, you still have me!"
"I know and thanks."
Dean laid back down allowing Sam to rest his head back on his chest.
Sam spoke up again, "Hey Dean?"
Dean sighed, "Yes Sammy?"
"Promise you won't leave me?"
'That came out of nowhere' Dean thought. But just held Sam close and replied, "I can't promise I'll never leave, but as long as I'm here I'll always be there for you."
"Thanks"
Once Sam's breathing had evened out, Dean kissed his forehead and whispered, "Love you Sammy"
And Sam whispered back, "Love you too Dean"
