Chapter 1: (Point) Breaking News
Gentle and kind
You're on my mind.
Sure and strong
Don't mind being wrong.
So alive and aware
You always care.
Open and true
You help when I'm blue.
Friend and lover
You're like no other.
"Remind me once again why you thought that it would be a good idea to have a droid army run by hack-able computers?" I growled.
Tony flew over my head, blasting at the droids I was currently fighting.
"I dunno. Knowing me, I was probably drunk when I did it." He crackled over the comms.
"Next time, when you cook up a half-baked idea like this, consult me first. I will tell you if it is a viable idea or not and save all of us the trouble." I told him.
"I don't think so. How much experience do you have with advanced Midgardian technology? Which one of us is actually a scientist slash genius and makes technology like this, and which one of us is a homicidal alien?" Tony said glibly.
"Neither of us." I grinned.
I whirled around my targets, slashing, and stabbing, and dodging with my twin daggers. I didn't want to use my magic because my impromptu teachers told me to get practice fighting in hand-to-hand combat. A ring of five humanoid robots like Tony's suit surrounded me. They were several feet taller and wider than I, but I had the advantage of speed over strength. I was ticked off, to put it Midgardian terms. This brouhaha had come up in the middle of my lovely dinner with Darcy. I had rushed out of there and transformed into my customary battle armor, complete with the helmet. She had understood, even urged me to go, but I still disliked leaving her there. Clint shot arrow after arrow down from a nearby rooftop, but it hardly did any damage. Natasha was holding her own with electromagnetic pulse devices. Steve was ineffectually tossing his shield around. Bruce had transformed and was carving a path through the droids. I cut through the last of the droids surrounding me, and ran to help Steve. I leapt early and landed on a robot, sinking my knives into its back. I back-flipped, easily slipping my knives out and landing on my feet.
"How do you do that?" Steve hollered.
"Easy. Become flexible enough to pick your nose with your toes and work your way up. Ooh, that rhymed." Tony responded for me, as he flew over and blasted some of the robots.
"Thank you for that lovely mental image, Tony." I panted while destroying another droid.
"No prob." He flew away again.
"How you doing, with no magic? Tough, isn't it? Being like us mortals." Clint radioed in.
"Hardly. I seem to be doing all right." I scoffed, decapitating a droid.
A woman's scream rent the air. I whipped around to see a small-statured woman run from ten robots. I caught a glimpse of dark hair and a green dress. Cursing inwardly, I ran over to rescue her. She blurred past me and ran into an alley, the worst place she could have chosen. I placed myself between the alleyway and the oncoming droids. I had to block the blasts from hitting me as well as the alley behind me. I caught one of their arms and spun it around t so that when it blasted me, it caused the blast to hit another. I whirled around in a storm, my focus narrowing until I just saw the blasters on the robots' arms. After I decimated the ten attackers, I stood in the middle of the strewn metal parts, panting slightly. I turned on the heel of my boot and strode quickly to the alley. Darcy peeked out from behind the corner at me sheepishly, still in her heels and clingy, emerald dress.
"I told you to stay put." I glared at her.
"I did. Until the restaurant was destroyed. Then I started to run away from the scary, metal, flying Tony Starks. I thought that you would be a safer bet than the freakazoids." She told me nonchalantly.
"And you had to run into the biggest group of them, waving your arms and getting them to chase you." I rolled my eyes, but hugged her close.
"I didn't wave my arms around. I just ran and they followed." She mumbled into my chest.
I closed my eyes and savored her warmth before reluctantly ending the embrace.
"Stay here with the others. They will protect you." I said to her.
"Why? Where are you going?" She asked, wide-eyed.
"I have to end the assault. I will come for you. But stay safe. Please, for me." I entreated her.
"Will do. Copy that. Roger." She threw me a mock-salute.
"What? Did somebody say my name?" Steve asked.
"False alarm. I'm going after the hacker." I radioed in.
"Okay, but be careful. That guy will have a small army around him." Natasha instructed me.
"Yes, Sensei." I grinned, and from her position a hundred yards down the street, gave me a ferocious glare.
Darcy was about to say something to me, when her eyes widened and she pulled me to the side. She drew her taser and shot something behind me. I turned and saw a robot collapsing to its knees, its chest burned from the voltage.
"How much power does that thing have?" I asked, whistling.
She gave me a wicked smirk. "Lets just say that it could take out a certain blond god with the enhancements Stark gave this baby."
"I don't want to know." I shook my head.
"Hey!" She called out after me.
I turned around and caught her when she threw herself at me. She kissed me quickly, then pulled away. I froze, too surprised to say anything or even move.
"You stay safe too. Promise?" She raised an eyebrow.
I mutely held up my hand and crooked my pinky. She beamed and hooked her pinky in mine. Flouncing away, she winked at me over her shoulder. I stared after her for a moment. I shook my head, breaking out of my daze and turning around. Tony had landed and in a moment of calm, leaned against the wall of the alley behind me with his visor up. He didn't say anything, just raised an eyebrow, very high.
"No fraternizing on the job. Seriously, that's a rule. Right, Legolas?" Tony said.
"It was one time." Clint growled and redoubled his attack.
"Not a word, Tony. Or I swear that I will tear your armor apart, peel you out of it like a giant mollusk, and feed you to a bilgesnipe covered in sautéed onions and a butter sauce." I warned him.
"Fine, fine. I catch your drift. Hey, where's your brother? We could use Point Break right about now." He asked, tagging alongside me as I fought more droids.
"My brother is -." I was cut off as a voracious robot attacked so I flipped it over my shoulder. "Otherwise occupied. He is the crown prince of Asgard, and is learning the more ... diplomatic skills to a throne."
"Okay. Oh, and if you don't want your girlfriend to accidently do something dangerous, I would finish up real soon." He said.
He was right. I couldn't leave Darcy alone; she would get in trouble. I nodded and teleported myself to Stark Tower. The entrance was blasted apart, and rubble was strewn everywhere. The absence of droids was worrying, though. I carefully moved through the wreckage, moving quietly. I worked my way up to the higher levels. Nothing moved. I walked up to Tony's cluttered lab. Papers were scattered on the floor, and twisted metal pieces caved into the room. I heard a small noise, a chattering, shivering rattle. I moved around a metal beam and saw a hunched over figure. He looked up, his face a twisted mask. He scrambled to his feet, holding out a device for protection.
"Stay away! You can't touch me! I'll call them before you come one step closer!" He shouted.
"Don't worry. I won't. Why don't we talk instead?" I held out my hands in supplication, glamouring away my armor.
Darcy had made me soft. I was trying to negotiate, rather than making myself invisible and stabbing him in the back. That's irony for you.
"What do you want to talk about?" He asked warily.
"Tell me about yourself. Why you are doing this?" I offered.
"My name is Luke Hammer. Stark put my father in prison when I was eight years old. I grew up without a father because of him. This is my revenge. I hacked his system and turned his precious inventions against him. That's all I'm telling you. Who are you, anyway?" The poor kid, barely of age.
"I am Loki Odinson. You may have heard of me. I tried to destroy this city. I am the brother of Thor and a protector of this realm. I come from Asgard, a planet in another dimension. I am a master of magic, and have defeated a Titan. If this doesn't intimidate you, then perhaps the angry god behind you will." I raised an eyebrow.
He turned around to see my brother standing threateningly behind him with Mjolnir in hand. Luke gasped and held up his hand, dropping the device. I caught the device with my magic before it could break and telekinetically lifted it over to me. Thor raised an eyebrow and Luke ran away.
"Just in time, Brother. You couldn't have gotten here quicker? Tony was asking for you earlier." I dusted off imaginary dust off the device.
"What would you do without me? I show up here and save the day, as usual. I just got out of lessons. Mother let me go once she despaired of ever teaching me etiquette." He boomed, shaking my shoulder to let me know that he was joking.
"What indeed. Come, Brother. There may be things that you can hit with your hammer still. However, they aren't the only things you've been hitting with your hammer, now are they? Speaking of that, how is Jane?" I raised my eyebrow and smirked, bringing back the allusion that my brother hated.
"She is fine. She wishes to come home, but she cannot with her condition." Thor blushed uncharacteristically.
"Why? What is wrong?" I asked, concerned for his lady.
I had gotten to know her better after she married my brother, and I found her to be fiercely intelligent and kind.
"Nothing is wrong. It's just, that, well ... she is ... pregnant." Thor managed to mumble out the news.
For the honeymoon seven months ago, the happy couple had gone to Asgard. Mother and Father had embraced them with open arms, looking forward to having grandchildren.
"Congratulations, Brother!" I smiled and clapped him on the back.
"Didn't know you had it in you, buddy." Tony said over the comms.
The both of us grimaced.
"Come. We must return. After, we can toast your good fortune with a keg of mead." I told Thor, who nodded and spun Mjolnir, flying away.
I teleported to where Darcy was. I appeared in front of her with a flash. She yelped, and almost fell back, if not for her sleeve, which I caught.
"I leave you alone for five minutes." I grumbled.
"Hey! I didn't set anything on fire this time, at least. Don't I get credit for that?" She squawked indignantly when I pulled her close.
"What did I tell you?" She resisted, pulling back to glare at me.
I sighed. "No regular clothes, no service?"
"Yep." She eyed me pointedly.
I disillusioned my armor away, leaving me in the tuxedo I had been in for the dinner.
"That's better." She said happily.
"I have news from Asgard. Jane is pregnant. Apparently Thor is better with his hammer than even I would have guessed." I said, smirking slightly.
She elbowed me in the stomach in her haste to go see my brother and to reprimand me.
"What are we standing around here for? Lets go congratulate the big lug!" She almost sprinted over to the others.
Thor was in the middle of them, blushing tomato red. I almost felt sorry for him.
"Lets all go over to Shawarma Palace to celebrate. They love us there." Stark threw his arms over Thor and Steve.
Guess what! I'm Baaa-aack! Sorry for the long wait. I've been working on like twelve different fics, and I didn't start this until a while ago. Sorry, again for any inconvenience this may have caused you guys. On to the author note!
Loki seems happy enough. And for those of you who didn't notice, I just had to add in Iron Man 2. I couldn't think up a villain, so I went with Justin Hammer's imaginary son. And did anyone get Loki's hammer joke? If you didn't, think about how Jane's got a little person growing in her tummy ...
A follow or favorite lets you catch Luke Hammer. A review lets you go to Shawarma Palace with the Avengers.