Ok a huge fic in two parts. Two main things before you get started:
1. I imagine Kat to be played by Maisie Williams
2. The italic chunks are flashbacks
Enjoy your reading, I'll see you at the end.
Running. It was always running with her. Whether it be to hide or just run away from the Watchers, she always seemed to be running. Still, it was rather exhilarating, she thought to herself as she pressed her body against the cold steel building. Her heart beat rapidly as she took shuddering breaths trying to control her breathing. She must have looked a sight with her flushed cheeks and brown tresses clinging to her face in the wind. But she couldn't rest here forever, sooner or later – and with her luck it would be sooner – the Watchers' airships would seek her out and they would take her prisoner.
So running again then. The young girl gasped for breath before setting off once more, her legs burning and pleading her to stop. And she had to, if she didn't she was sure to be injured, and then they would find her for sure. So it seemed a miracle when she found the blue box.
It was old, wooden and looked like it had once been a rather bright blue, but hadn't been cared for in a while. As if it had been abandoned, the poor thing. She shook her head, honestly 'the poor thing'? It wasn't as if it were alive!She looked around it, a mysterious blue box in the middle of an alleyway and she should just go inside it? She hesitated, she didn't trust it to be safe but she was in danger, tired, desperate and it looked small enough to just fit her. Besides the Watchers would probably overlook it as scrap with the way it looked.
When she heard the squeals of the Watchers' airship landing, she didn't need any more convincing and the young girl charged into the box.
As she closed the doors she pressed her forehead against the doors, feeling the cool wood against her skin. She sighed deeply and attempted to lean back against the other side of the box…except there wasn't any. Her eyes widened and she felt her heart skip a beat as she took in the sights in her peripheral vision. Silver, big and silver. And humming. The box was humming.
She whirled around, the first thing she noticed was the column in the center of the room, and the stairs leading to it and then the bookshelves lining the walls. The last thing she noticed (which really should have been the first) was the two men staring at her. The older one glared harshly, while the younger looked on in curiosity.
"Who are you? What are you doing in here?" the old man demanded.
"I didn't," she stopped in confusion, "It was smaller on the outside, how?"
Something flickered in the man's blue eyes before he replied irritably, "I prefer the words 'bigger on the inside' thank you very much. And I don't care who you are, just get out of my ship!"
"It's a ship? Like an airship? What is this, Watchers in disguise now? You lot will stop at nothing!" the young girl began to rant.
"Woah, slow down there!" the other man held up his arms, intent on stopping her tirade, "I think you're confusing us for someone else. Doctor, why don't you explain to her?"
"I don't have to explain anything. But she has to leave," the silver haired man snapped.
The younger man sighed, "I'm Danny and this is the Doctor. We're not 'Watchers', we're just sort of…tourists. This is a spaceship and a time-machine and yes, it's 'bigger on the inside'. It's some weird high-tech stuff. I don't understand it either. Now, who are you and what are you and how did you get in here?"
She heard the old man (The Doctor?) mutter under his breath. She hesitated to answer, how could she trust these strangers? But then again, he had disclosed some information about them, so perhaps she could do the same. So she answered, "Kat. And – and I'm human, obviously. What else would I be?" she saw the pair share a meaningful look but decided to continue "I was running from the Watchers, just happened to stumble in here. I'll be gone soon, don't worry." She had no intent of staying with two complete strangers, no matter nice they seemed. Well the younger one – Danny – seemed nice enough, the older one just seemed grumpy.
"See that you are," the Doctor (she would miss calling him 'Old Man') then turned his glower to Danny, "And you! Is there any reason you have to divulge all of my secrets to a little girl?"
"I hardly said anything," he dismissed quickly before turning back to Kat, "I don't understand, what are Watchers and why are you hiding from them?"
Kat stared disbelievingly; they really weren't from around here, "The Watchers work for the Zoeliths"
Danny blinked, "No, still confused. What are the Zoo-thingies?"
The Doctor huffed, "Planet Jeharis, colonized by the humans. Of course then the Zoeliths came along, decided they needed to conquer another planet. They're the greedy sort. I was trying to skip this era all together but clearly-"
"Doctor," the other man interrupted, "Could you focus for a few moments? Jeharis? Zoeliths? Watchers?"
The Doctor glared, "I'm getting to that if you'd just pay attention and stop interrupting. I didn't want to land here because it was too much of a risk with you. The Zoeliths used humans as their slaves. I'm guessing that's why this one is running, from the Watchers she said. They're probably the ones that round up the humans and convert them to slaves. They seem to be under the influence of a telepathic web, you humans are so susceptible to those things. Like when the Master became Prime Minister. Of course I highly doubt he would want this planet – not enough people. But it's probably the same idea. The Zoeliths must have created a telepathic interweb within the city. Interrupt the frequency of the web or destroy the source and it should return the people back to normal. Easy enough."
"How could you possibly have known all that?" Kat asked, her head spinning from the overload of information. Here she was trying to stay alive in fear of conversion, and this man stepped in and acted like it was the simplest problem to fix. As easy as tying your shoes.
"Well, I suppose there's a reason I'm a genius," the Doctor smirked.
"He's a time traveler, he probably knows this entire planet's history," Danny rolled his eyes, turning to the Doctor he asked, "How do we help them?"
"Help them? Why? I already gave her plenty of information. Surely she can take care of her own problems now."
"Doctor, she's just a child!"
"I'm not a child!" Kat interrupted not enjoying how they spoke of her.
"How old are you?" Danny asked.
"Fifteen, but-"
"See?" Danny continued, "Not even an adult yet. Doctor she needs our help. And you said the perception filter makes sure people just pass the TARDIS by. That means she wanted Kat to find us, she wants us to help the girl."
"Don't act like you know what she would have wanted! Bloody maternal side. I'm not going to drop everything and help her just because you're feeling emotional!" the Doctor yelled at the ceiling.
Kat blinked, "Are you seriously yelling at your machine?" The lights flashed red and she could hear gears turning and buttons beeping incessantly.
"She is not a machine! She is the most magnificent ship in the universe and she is very much well and alive and aware of what you're saying about her," the Doctor growled as he ran a hand across the control panel.
"Either way," Danny stopped what seemed to be an explosive argument in the making, "We have to help her, Doctor."
"And I suppose that would make you happy, now would it?" the Doctor wondered aloud. It took Kat a second, but she realized he wasn't talking to any of the humans in the room but rather the ship again. A long trill echoed across the room.
"Fine. We help her, but then she leaves. I'm not taking anyone else in!" the Doctor asserted.
She had wanted to leave immediately, after all she was only looking for a place to hide – not get stuck with two mad people. But then the ship (how big was it exactly?) shuddered and shook and apparently they had moved.
The next few hours were a blur in Kat's mind. They had arrived at the main satellite tower of the city where the Doctor had taken out a metal probe and waved it around. Danny had stayed by her the entire time, ensuring her safety – not that she needed his help. But it was fun to fight off the Zoeliths with someone other than herself. So while the pair of them were dealing with the Zoelithian guards, the Doctor messed around with the satellite.
The most Kat could remember was the piercing screech that emanated from the satellite. She saw Danny cower under the pain of the sound, but the Zoeliths had it even worse. Their screams filled the air and their bodies trembled and then she saw the alien on the far right explode from the sound.
"Stop it!" she screamed as loud as she could to the Doctor, who still happened to be upright, seemingly almost unaffected by the noise. He shouldn't have heard her, he couldn't have. Not with her kneeling next to Danny and her hands covering her own ears, eyes watering from pain of the noise. She could barely even hear herself. And yet she saw the Doctor glance in her direction so she yelled again, "You're hurting them! If you hurt them like they hurt us, then how are you better than them? You're only going to make it worse! You're not helping at all!"
For a moment, Kat didn't think he'd listen. But then he glanced at Danny lying beside her and back at Kat and then the screeching stopped. After that it really was a blur. But words were exchanged, she could hear the Doctor's rough accent and was barely aware of Danny holding her hand the entire time – like her body was numb from the experience. She could remember key words – Shadow Proclamation, treaty, humans, peace, release now.
Then she watched as the Zoeliths unchained and un-collared a human, and watched a chain reaction as the human freed more humans. And then the Doctor started lecturing the humans instead. Words flew again – apologize, peace, treaty, mistake.
And then it was over.
"I'm pretty sure she's still in shock. Can't blame her, the first time is always the hardest seeing all this stuff." That was Danny's voice.
"I've had plenty of companions that survived worse and then went back for more. Besides, I don't care if she's in shock. We had a deal. I help and she leaves." And that was the Doctor.
Kat startled and took in her surroundings, they were back in the 'bigger on the inside' ship. The next thing she noticed was the sharp pain shooting up her ankle. She must have said something because then Danny was wrapping it and injecting something into her leg while the Doctor watched calmly from the side.
"There, you should be good in a couple of minutes. I think you landed on it wrong when you fell back there," Danny patted her shoulder. Kat couldn't remember falling, she could barely remember anything let alone make sense of what had happened that night.
"Right then, good to go then? Where should I drop you off?" the Doctor wasted no time in asking.
"We can't just leave her. We basically kidnapped her and got her hurt. Consequences Doctor!" Danny answered for her. Kat could hear the ceiling whir as the control panel lit up again.
"Oh don't you start too," the Doctor accused his ship again, "We didn't kidnap her. Trust me, I've done that before, this wasn't a kidnapping. She wandered in here on her own, it's her own fault she got hurt. I'm sure she can wander back out on her own too. This is me being considerate, where would you like me to drop you off?"
"Doctor, she's hurt," Danny repeated. Kat tried to interrupt that she felt much better already, but the two of them seemed to be otherwise occupied with each other.
"Fine then, a hospital? Or just home?"
"No need, I'm fine. Just put me back where you found me, I'll be fine," Kat finally got a word in as she stood up, albeit a bit shakily.
Danny grabbed her arm to steady her and asked, "Are you sure? Your family must be worried sick about you."
"Haven't got any family to worry," Kat quickly dismissed the idea. She watched as Danny's eyes turned melancholy – filled with pity. She felt a flash of anger surge through her, what did he need to feel sorry for? She hadn't ever known her parents, so there was nothing to miss. Instead she turned to the Doctor, he didn't look sad, just curious.
"Right then, off you go," the Doctor pointed to the doors.
Kat suddenly felt her heart sink a little. As she headed to the doors, she stopped, "You said this ship was a time machine?"
"And a spaceship. It can go anywhere in time and space. Goodbye now."
"Anywhere, even Earth? I've only heard of it in stories," Kat said excitedly. She had been stuck on Jeharis her entire life, listening to the stories passed down through the generations. Earth, the place where humans originated from. And ever since she ran away from the orphanage, Kat had wanted nothing more than to leave. She had nothing left to tie her to this place. And besides, Earth sounded so much better than her own rundown-nearly-conquered planet.
"Yeah, I'm from 21st century Earth, actually," Danny replied for the Doctor.
"What's it like?" she loved to hear stories. Her imagination was the only way to survive out there. Dreaming of an escape, everyone was.
"It's wonderful and you're not going," the Doctor snapped, "I don't travel with children."
Kat's eyes dimmed, "Oh right. I'll just go." She gave it a chance; of course she barely knew them. But it wasn't like she knew anyone that could help her on Jeharis either. So she turned and pushed against the doors, but they refused to open.
"They won't open," she turned to the Doctor.
"Try pulling." She did as he directed but it did no good. The Doctor sighed and pushed her aside to see for himself. He jostled the handles and when they didn't budge he kicked the doors in frustration.
"She's not staying! I don't care if you like her, I don't want her. You're the one complaining about strays and now you take in one of your own?" the Doctor started yelling at the ceiling again (how often did he talk to his ship?), "I told you, I don't want anyone else."
The ship didn't whir angrily this time, instead it lit up a hallway.
"Well guess that settles it, you're staying," Danny said happily as he clapped his hands in delight, all the while smirking at the Doctor.
"Really, can we go see planet Earth?" Kat asked excitedly.
"Sure, but in the morning. It's been a long night and you need sleep," Danny replied. She tried to protest but the young man wasn't having any of it.
"You get one trip, we'll see how it goes. This doesn't mean you're staying permanently!" the Doctor warned, "Now, your room is down the hall. The – the TARDIS will show you."
"The what?" Kat asked.
"TARDIS, it's what the ship is called," the Doctor explained. Kat heard a low tone echo around the room, almost dismal. She watched the Doctor shake his head as he stroked a side rail and Danny's smile fall just a bit, "I mean, my granddaughter called it that. 'Time And Relative Dimension In Space'. The name caught on. Anyways, room down there. Off you pop."
Kat gave a quick nod and then skipped down towards the lit up hallway. She should have been more hesitant she knew, but these two had saved her life and her planet. And she had always wanted to go exploring. She skidded to a stop around the corner when she heard Danny's voice again.
"Do you think she'll stay?" Danny asked.
"I don't know and I don't care. I'm not looking for a companion, not anymore."
"Well you've got me, but we both know I've got a life back home Doc. I think Kat would be good for you. She stopped you back on that planet, you need someone to stop you. And you need someone to care about again, it could be her."
"Yes, an orphan. No family of her own. What a clever choice my dear." Kat watched from her hiding spot as the Doctor brushed his fingers over the panel he was working at. She almost felt like she was interrupting some intimate moment.
Danny must have felt the same because he cleared his throat and continued, "Kat looks like her, don't you think? She could be her daughter," he added hesitantly.
"Don't go down that path Pink," the Doctor growled.
"Oh come on, you saw it. Brown hair, big brown eyes, prominent eye brows? Along with the stubbornness, sense of adventure and a caring side, she could be a dead ringer for your kid too. If the two of you ever had one." Kat felt the machine vibrate and the control room bathed in a low light. Agreement.
"She looks like she could be feisty too. All we're missing are the control-freak tendencies!"
Suddenly the ship lurched and Danny fell off his seat, sending him sprawling onto the floor. The Doctor laughed and patted the console, and the buttons lit up brightly around him.
Danny grumbled as he picked himself up and dusted off and called up, "I meant that in a very loving and caring way! No need to take it so personally."
And then a door slid in front of Kat and her view was cut off. She couldn't see or hear anything anymore. The hallway lit up, the lights flashing imploringly. The show was over. Immediately she felt weariness take over her as the adrenaline left her body and the night's adventure took a toll on her mind and body.
"Okay, okay I'm going. Can you blame me for eavesdropping a bit? If I'm being kidnapped, I'd like to get to know my captors a bit," Kat said aloud. Great, now she was talking to the ship too, "Fine show me to my room," she sighed as she followed the well-lit winding hall.
Somewhere between visiting the Eiffel Tower in the 20th century and fighting Daleks in the 31st century, Kat became accustomed to the strangeness of it all. An old man in a box that could travel through time and space, she thought it sounded an awful lot like a nursery rhyme. But the Doctor was no childhood hero, not with the way he faced down aliens and conquerors. He could bring down empires with a wave of his metal probe (which she now knew as a Sonic Screwdriver).
He never seemed overly concerned about her safety, always letting Danny care about dragging her along and out of harm's way. Kat would have thought he didn't care about her at all. But he always showed it in the smallest ways, after all he let her stay for more than one trip.
And then came the Cybermen. They had tried to upgrade her, chased her around in the warehouse that was their base. Danny was busy helping the Doctor override their control system and she was stuck a floor above them.
"You will be upgraded," the robotic voice repeated over and over. Her heart raced as she struggled to think, she grabbed a crowbar and whacked at it, it paused for a second then moved on, "Repair in progress. Repair complete. Prepare to be upgraded. You will be upgraded."
Kat attacked it again with the crowbar, but then lost her footing and fell against the railing. The Cyberman closed in on her. Desperate for an escape, she pushed further against the railing. She rolled out of the way as the Cyberman hit the railing, barely missing her. It broke the barrier and she took the opportunity to push it over the edge. The robot grabbed onto the edge, it's hand only inches away from her own body. And three more Cybermen appeared in front of her. Just as the front most Cyberman held out his arm ready to upgrade her, they all stopped. Every single robot in the warehouse died, their metallic heads lolling to the side and their arms dropping.
Kat sighed in relief and leaned back, only to miss the bars and fall through the damaged opening created by the earlier Cyberman. Her stomach lurched and a scream ripped through her throat as her arms grabbed the air around her. As she tumbled forward, she barely grabbed the now dead Cyberman hanging over the edge. Her fingers brushed past the smooth slippery metal of its chest. Her hand clenched around the Cyberman's leg and she swung about. She could hear a shrill sound echoing through the warehouse, and when hands wrapped around her waist steadying her, only then did she realize it was the sound of her own voice screaming.
"Let go of the Cyberman, Kat. We've got you now," Danny calmly spoke. But it wasn't him holding her. It was the Doctor.
The Doctor settled her onto the ground as she hiccupped, not realizing she had been crying out of fear until he wiped the tears from her cheek. The Doctor took out his Sonic and waved it around her and declared she was just fine.
"What were you thinking? Going up against those Cybermen yourself? You could have gotten yourself killed, or upgraded! No humanity left in you!" the Doctor shouted at her.
Kat flinched, not understanding his anger, "I didn't mean to. You two were busy and they followed me up there."
"And you didn't think to call for help?"
"I've – I've never had anyone to ask for help before," Kat quietly admitted.
"Yes well, if you're going to stay then you might as well get used to it," the Doctor replied, though not as harshly as he usually sounded, "I'm not going to have a child's death on my conscience. Not again. If you're in trouble, you call for help. I don't care how safe you think it is, you do not put yourself in harm's way!"
Kat didn't dare ask about it, "I'm…sorry," she grudgingly offered.
The Doctor raised his eyebrows, "Wow, real manners."
"Well, we know she couldn't have learned those from you," Danny quipped from behind them, "Come on, let's get back. I think we've done enough damage here."
"Right, you'll have to go to the infirmary when we get on," the Doctor reminded the young girl as the men helped her onto her feet.
"What? Why? I thought you said I was fine?" Kat argued.
"Oh I certainly think so. But it's standard procedure. She'll want to make sure you're fine. I imagine she's going to be rather cross with me for allowing you out with the Cybermen around, she's getting rather protective of you," the Doctor replied.
"He's talking about his ship again, isn't he?" Kat turned to Danny as the Doctor walked ahead of them leading the way to the TARDIS.
"You've got to know by now she's more than just a ship," Danny said easily.
"I know, it's alive and all. But he refers to it like it's a person. More specifically a woman. Why?"
Danny looked away, "Long story. I think the Doctor said they were connected telepathically or something, might have something to do with that," he rushed through the statement, making Kat think she was missing something important.
"But anyways, look on the bright side!" Danny added excitedly.
"What's that?"
"The Doctor basically admitted he wants you to stay," Kat stared at him confusedly after that statement. The man had just scolded her, she wouldn't be surprised if he dropped her back on Jeharis right after this adventure, "Alright, so maybe not in so many words, but he did. The Doctor isn't really emotional and he's just scared of making attachments and getting hurt, that's all. But trust me, he wants you around."
After the Cybermen, the three of them came to an unspoken agreement that Kat would be staying. Most likely permanently. It became very real when soon after the adventure Danny declared that he had to go home, he couldn't travel forever after all. The first time without Danny was extremely awkward between her and the Doctor, with no one to buffer his rudeness or her stubbornness. But Kat soon became aware that this happened to be a regular arrangement between the Doctor and Danny. Apparently he had only stayed this long to look after Kat, but something about the last adventure convinced him she would be fine on her own with the Doctor.
The first time was awkward between them, and the Doctor had even asked if she wanted to jump forward and meet Danny again. But the controls on the ship had been jammed so they had to take what the Doctor called 'the slow path' and wait a week before meeting Danny again. On a Wednesday, 'for tradition's sake' the Doctor had said.
During the week they visited some low-key planets with minimal running, and soon it became something just between the Doctor and Kat to do without Danny. When he wasn't around they would go around in the markets on different planets and the Doctor would get her souvenirs for each visit.
So Kat finally let herself give a personal touch to the room the TARDIS had given her and made it her own. She had never had something to herself before. Even back in the orphanage she had to share with the other girls and watch as the younger ones got picked to find their 'dream families'. And when the Zoeliths had arrived, they took the older ones as their slaves. Too old to have a family and too young to be a slave. Just the right age to avoid both a blessing and a curse.
But still, when she felt the walls hum under her touch as she pinned up posters and photos of her with Danny and the Doctor, Kat thought she might have found a place to finally call her own. It was nice to have a place to rest easily, especially after all her time running in the streets. She was used to carrying the bare minimum, her belongings were sparse if any. But Kat enjoyed how her room lit up when she cluttered her souvenirs onto the bedside table. Like even the ship was happy to have her onboard (and the way the Doctor spoke of it, Kat thought she was rather delighted). So even though she got locked in her room until she cleaned it up and got her clothes off the floor, Kat would put up with it. The ship was overbearing at times and so was the Doctor. But it was like having a family and a home all at once. Or at least a chance at one.
"Getting ready to leave again?" Kat questioned as she entered Danny's room.
"Yeah, just about got everything. Don't know when I'm coming back this time, Vivian wants to get some stuff planned for the wedding soon," he replied as he stuffed his shirts into a suitcase.
Kat bounced on his bed and continued to annoy him, "How come you don't just tell your fiancé about your 'double life'? It can't be good to start a relationship on secrets and lies."
"No one's lying. Besides, how am I supposed to explain the Doctor to her? She knows that I travel a lot, just not where exactly I go travelling."
"So you just forgot to bring up the whole 'throughout all of time and space' part to her?"
"Yeah, basically," Danny sheepishly admitted.
"But what about after you get married? How are you going to explain how you disappear in a blue box all the time?" Kat challenged.
Danny looked away while he fiddled with folding his clothes, "Kat, I don't – I never meant to stay. I'm not like you or the Doctor really. I don't need an adventure all the time like you guys, I like my life on Earth."
"Well if you don't like it, then why did you stay for so long?" Kat spat out. Once again she was going to be left behind and abandoned.
"I – we had a mutual friend, me and the Doctor," Danny started, "His old companion, she uh…she used to be my girlfriend."
Kat could feel the floor beneath them rumble.
Danny rolled his eyes, "Ex-girlfriend," he corrected, "Anyways, she introduced me to the Doctor. And after she…well anyways she told me to look after him, he's not good on his own."
"What was her name?"
"Clara, Clara Oswald – the Doctor's Impossible Girl, he called her," Danny shook his head laughing. Kat could hear the walls humming softly around her, and the lights twinkled in delight.
She knew the Doctor travelled with others. He had mentioned his granddaughter, a Sarah Jane and an Adric. She could always hear him and Danny talking about them (or her) in hushed whispers after they thought she had gone to sleep. She was beginning to think the ship encouraged her eavesdropping.
"What happened to her?" Kat asked curiously.
"It doesn't matter."
"Did, did she die?" Kat asked again.
"No, she didn't die. It's a bit more complicated than that."
The ship lurched slightly, knocking Danny against the bed, as he steadied himself he continued, "Point is the Doctor shouldn't be alone. I stayed for the Doctor, and now I'm staying for you. But now, you've got each other. So we can start cutting the middleman out, huh?"
Kat shrugged. Danny mockingly pouted at her before reaching over and ruffling up her hair. Kat shrieked and batted at his hands.
"Stop that! Get off of me!" Danny laughed as he stepped back, Kat stuck out her tongue at him, "You're so mean. I hate you!"
"Hey it got you to laugh," Danny pointed out. Kat huffed and crossed her arms stubbornly, but couldn't stop the smile spreading across her face. She had always seen the other kids back at the orphanage roughing each other up and brawling around and laughing later on. She had never understood the childishness of it all, but with Danny she did. It was the affection a brother would show his younger sister. Protective and yet utterly annoying at the same time.
Danny closed his suitcase, "Well I'm all ready to go. Now remember, don't leave the Doctor alone."
"Because he's not good on his own," Kat continued robotically. Danny gave this same spiel every time he left. She practically had it memorized by now.
"Exactly, sometimes he needs someone to reel him in. That's your job. And it's also for your own safety. Look out for one another, he's really does care about you no matter what he may say otherwise. Of course, if you're really in danger, you can always come back to the TARDIS. She'll always keep you safe. Almost nothing can get through those doors."
Kat chose not to comment on the use of the female pronoun, the ship's so-called instinctive protectiveness, or even the apparent indestructibleness of wooden doors.
"You know the Doctor doesn't even take me anywhere fun without you," she instead complained, "We're always just shopping in market places. It's boring!"
"Yeah I bet. No Cybermen or Sontarans," Danny teased her, "Oh lighten up. He's just looking out for you. You're a still a kid – no matter what you may think otherwise. It's his way of protecting you I think. Give it some time, soon he'll let you have big adventures with him too – filled with Zygons and all other kinds of stuff I'm sure."
Kat smiled and accepted the explanation.
"Now give me a hug before I go," Danny opened his arms up.
Kat stepped into the embrace, never before had she understood the need for physical affection. She still didn't really, and she was always quite grateful that the Doctor never forced it on her – he didn't seem the hugging type either. Still, she happily put up with the few hugs Danny gave her whenever he left.
"Are we still going to see you after you're married?" Kat asked quietly.
"I fully expect you to!" Danny responded jovially, "I'm not letting the pair of you walk away that easily. Not after everything I put up with him for! And make sure you bring that grumpy old man to my wedding. I don't care how much he rants in that Scottish voice of his, we need a best man and another bridesmaid."
"You're insane," Danny declared as soon as she entered his room.
"I've heard that before, I prefer the term headstrong, thank you very much."
"Clara, you can't just –"
"It's my life and I'll decide what I do with it," Clara fumed at him, "Now I know you and the Doctor don't always get on well-"
"You know for once, I don't think it matters how we get on, because we're in agreement of one thing. You can't do this, Clara. He'll find another way, the Doctor always does."
"There isn't another way this time Danny," Clara responded tearfully, "The Timelords were very clear about that. And even if there were, the Doctor would probably die trying to fix it. I won't let that happen."
Danny snorted. Bloody Timelords. All of this was all their fault, and they acted like it was a gift, a 'reward' for saving them.
"You can't do this. He'd never allow it anyways," Danny urged again.
"The Doctor doesn't make my decisions," Clara said harshly, "I do. Besides, you heard them, if I don't take their offer – Danny it's the only escape there is!"
"You call that an escape?" he argued.
"If the alternative is dying, then yes!" Clara snapped, "If it means that I still get to make my own decisions, then I will. This is my choice and no one else's. Not even the Doctor's. If I have a chance to still live, and maybe be with him again, then I'll take it."
"He's not going to accept it that easily," Danny sighed. Clara was slowly draining the fight out of him. Surely the Doctor could change her mind.
"I'm not doing it for him, I'm doing this for me. Besides, I'll talk to him – make him understand. I know he will in the end. But I didn't come here to argue with you. Danny, you can't leave him. Not for a while after this. He'll be devastated and hurt, but I know he'll get better. That's why I can do this."
"But-"
"No. Just promise me Danny, you won't leave him. Don't let him be alone, he's not good on his own. He's too unsteady for that. Stay with him, help him move on or find someone that will. Someone that will help him feel something again. Find him a good companion, and until then just travel with him for a while. Promise me Danny, don't let the Doctor be alone."
Danny gulped, his vision blurring from the tears, "I promise."
"Thank you," she smiled through the tears, "And thank you for being such a wonderful friend. You're going to make some lucky woman extremely happy one day, and she better cherish you with every bit of love she has. You're perfect you are."
"Clearly not perfect enough for you to stick around," Danny tried to laugh it off, "I'm going to miss you so much." And then he embraced his friend one last time.
Kat walked out of her bedroom calling for the Doctor. Three days. Danny had been gone three days and they hadn't gone on a single adventure. The young girl was bored out of her mind.
"Doctor!" Kat tried again as she entered the console room. The words got caught in her throat and the sight before her made her stop dead in her tracks. The Doctor was there, curled up and asleep under the panel. He'd look almost innocent if Kat didn't know what he was like awake. But that wasn't what made her stop.
Kneeling beside the Doctor was a woman, hovering over him protectively. Her brown hair framed her face. Doe brown eyes and a button nose that crinkled as she smiled down at the Doctor's still form. She wasn't real though, she couldn't be. Nobody could just walk onto the TARDIS like that (except for Kat apparently). Kat could tell the woman's form wasn't solid. It looked like a hologram, but it shimmered with wisps of gold with even the slightest movement.
"Who – who are you," Kat asked timidly. The woman looked up at her quite alarmed, her bright eyes widened and her lips parted as if to gasp.
"What are you doing to him?" she asked again shakily as she saw the woman's hand leave the Doctor's face, "Just – just leave him alone. Doctor!"
He stirred at that. But already it was too late. The woman exploded into golden light which quickly scattered and disappeared into the walls. As the Doctor became alert the buttons on the console all sung and a lit up in a sweep.
The Doctor patted the panel as he picked himself up and turned to Kat, "What? What is it?"
Kat twirled around, trying to find some remnant of the mysterious woman, but there was none.
"Are you alright?" she asked quickly.
"Of course I am, why wouldn't I be? Why, what's wrong?" he answered worriedly.
Shaking her head at the strange (unreal) sight, she turned back to the Doctor and answered, "Nothing. I was just thinking we should go somewhere today. We haven't had an adventure in a while."
He smiled allowing the change of subject, "Sure, let's go somewhere. I'd love to go somewhere new. Do you want to press the button?"
Kat grinned, "Yes! Which one?"
"Randomizer, we'll let her pick today, yeah? The orange swirly one on the side there."
Kat quickly flipped the switch. When nothing happened she tried it again. And again. And again, before the Doctor slapped her hand away.
"It's not working," she complained.
"Let me see. You'll only upset her if you keep trying like that." The Doctor tried it himself, and then again and again and again. He sighed and smacked the metal railings, "The controls are stuck. She's not letting us go anywhere. Why not?" he called to the ceiling.
A hallway lit up in front of them. The Doctor raised an eyebrow but gestured for Kat to go ahead and followed her down the corridor. It opened up into the kitchen, the table filled with food.
"She wants us to eat?" Kat asked.
"Clearly," the Doctor deadpanned. Kat made a break for the doors but they already slammed shut, beside her the Doctor stifled a laugh.
"Don't laugh!" she snapped, "Your ship is always doing this! Babying me! Either it's cleaning my room or eating my vegetables. And sometimes she doesn't let me go out if you say it's too dangerous. She just locks the doors while you go on without me. And I think once she even tried to ground me. She kept me in the same hallway for two days. I could only go to my bedroom, the console room and the kitchen. It's not fair."
By this point the Doctor was outright laughing at the young girl's predicament, "Oh calm down. She does it because she likes you. She just, she cares and worries about you. She's motherly that way."
"I don't need her to mother or babysit me. She's a ship."
The Doctor's expression darkened and the lights flashed once, he looked up to the ceiling before speaking, "We've been over this many times. She's alive, and she is so much more than just a ship! And you know it. Now, sit down and have a glass of milk, Katarina."
The walls screeched suddenly and the Doctor huffed in response.
"Oh come on! Me too?" the Doctor looked at the assortment laid out in front of them as he took a seat next to Kat, "You couldn't have at least given some coffee? It's always tea with you." A solitary beep came after that. The Doctor uttered a 'fine' and began buttering a piece of toast.
"That's not my full name by the way," Kat said stiffly as she took some fruit for herself.
"Hmmm?"
"You called me 'Katarina'. That's not my name."
"Then what is it? Kathleen? Katelyn? Katrina?" the Doctor threw out several options.
Kat laughed, "No. It's just Kathryn."
The Doctor frowned, "Well that's rather dull. I was expecting a bit more honestly, Kathryn" he added on teasingly.
"Sorry to disappoint," she bit out, "At least I've got a name. You've just got a title! And don't call me 'Kathryn', everybody just calls me Kat." After the first few days with the Doctor, she had quickly learned that he didn't have a name – and if he did, he never shared it with anyone.
"Everybody just calls me Doctor," he responded in kind, "Besides what kind of a name is Kathryn anyways? It hardly suits you, you're not common or boring like that."
"Yeah well you have a time machine, you'd have to ask my parents that. And can you ask why they gave me up while you're at it?" Kat retorted ignoring the hidden compliment.
The Doctor paused, "How come you've never asked me to take you to see them? I've had many companions, and some of them had lost people dear to them. I could always tell they were dying to see their lost loved ones again…but I never got that from you. Why?"
"How do you miss what you've never known? Besides, the orphanage wasn' bad. They took very good care of us."
"Then why'd you run away?" Kat stared at him, she had never told him that.
"I didn't," one look from the Doctor and the lie was silenced before it even left her lips, "I was about to turn fifteen. At that age the Zoeliths would have taken me for themselves, I knew I wasn't going to get adopted and I knew I couldn't stay. So I ran. And then a few months later I ran into you," she stopped for a moment before asking, "How did you know? That I ran away?"
"I ran away once too," he answered quietly, "From my home planet. Many times actually. And then – I thought I had lost it once. There was a Time War you see, and I thought I – that it had been destroyed. But then I found Gallifrey again, and I thought maybe I could stay this time. But instead I just took off running again."
"Why?"
The Doctor looked her in the eyes, "My people – the High Council of Gallifrey, they – they took something very precious to me. They thought they were doing me a favour," his hand clenched into a fist on the back of his chair, "Not that it matters anymore. Besides, I stole this TARDIS from them long before that. So perhaps we're even."
He ended his story with a small smile and Kat tried to return it reassuringly. Then the ship around them whirred into life, a wheezing noise filling their ears.
The Doctor rolled his eyes as it calmed down, "She says she stole me, which I suppose is technically true now that I know all the details. But I maintain that it's all timey-wimey, horrible paradoxes, best not to get too detailed. Are you finished with your breakfast yet? Let's go have an adventure."
Kat hurried after the Doctor as he made for the console room yet again.
"Doctor," she hesitated, a little breathless (he took rather long strides) before she finally asked, "You keep calling the ship a 'she'. I know it – she's alive, but how do you know? How do you know if it's even female?"
The Doctor paused at the panel, his hand gripping the lever. His fingers tapped out a tune as he contemplated the easiest answer to give, "Because we're linked. The TARDIS, she has a soul, I can feel her thrumming and brimming with life right under my fingertips."
Kat nodded understanding what he meant; she had felt the same life humming through the walls.
"And we're connected," he continued, "She's a part of me. Made specifically for me. I know she's a woman because I felt it, the second I touched her console the first time. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I even met her once. I met the soul of the TARDIS, she was put into a body – a woman's body – and I got to talk to her. Just that once," he ended sadly.
"What did she say to you?"
"Hello, she said 'hello'," the Doctor smiled with nostalgia, "Of course she said many other things. We were stuck outside of the universe with only an hour of survival time. But anyways, she said 'hello' and that, that she was alive…and that it would be sad when it was over. She also said a companion of mine at the time was the 'pretty one'" he grimaced at the end.
"And was she?" Kat asked.
"You're so full of questions. Insatiable curiosity," the Doctor commented while Kat shrugged in response, not denying it in the least, "He was married to Amelia Pond. Rory Pond – no wait, Williams. That's it, Rory Williams, always hated it when I called him a Pond. I don't know, I suppose he was alright looking. Why don't you see for yourself? Show us Rory would you dear?" he asked aloud.
In front of Kat a hologram beamed down. Kat took in his features, the sandy hair, kind eyes and the prominent nose before commenting, "He sort of looks like you."
"What?" the Doctor fumbled at the controls before taking a good look at the hologram himself.
"Well I mean obviously younger," the Doctor snorted and glared at her for that, "Oh don't start, you look like you could be my grandfather! But yeah, he looks like a younger version of you. She must have seen that and called him pretty. I mean she obviously cares for you deeply."
The ship hummed enthusiastically before removing the hologram. The Doctor stood still for a moment before answering, "Yes, I suppose you're right. Anyways, adventure right?"
"Doctor," Kat interrupting again as a thought crossed her mind.
"What now? We've barely begun the day and you've already asked a hundred questions!" he complained irritably.
Kat ignored his outburst (she was used to them now) and asked, "Can the TARDIS make holograms on her own? Without us asking?"
He shrugged, "I mean, I suppose she could. But I don't see why she would need to. Normally she just takes on a holographic figure for the voice interface. Why?"
"No reason. Just curious, that's all," Kat rushed. It didn't make sense. Rory had stood still and didn't shimmer gold like the woman in the morning had, "Anyways, can we go somewhere fun today?"
"I always take you somewhere fun!" the Doctor responded outraged at the suggestion.
"Yes, I know. And I love the market places and all the souvenirs and having our own thing without Danny but they're also safe and boring. I want something exciting!"
The Doctor smoothed his hand over the panel as he listened to Kat's pleading in one ear and his ship's warning whirs of danger in the other. The daughter and the wife, that's what they were.
"Fine then," the Doctor announced coming to a decision, "How do you feel about dragons?"
"And you're sure he's going to meet us here?" Kat asked for the umpteenth time.
"Yes. Right here, he said so. You heard him," the Doctor answered for the umpteenth time.
"Why are we meeting Danny at the park anyways? Surely there are better places to pick him up?" Kat whined. She dragged her feet as she sat in the swing, while the Doctor had perched himself high up a tree, fully equipped with binoculars and on the lookout for Danny. Such a weirdo.
"He doesn't like me being near the school. Honestly, you blow up one chemistry lab and you never hear the end of it," the Doctor ignored Kat's shocked expression and confused 'what?' and continued, "Besides, the park is fun. You've got swings – those are super fun."
"First of all, I'm not a child, Doctor," Kat ignored the disagreeing snort, "And besides, you'd be fascinated watching a plastic bag float across a car park."
"It's the little things. Hang on, I think I see him!" the Doctor jumped down, landing in a crouch before springing up again.
"I don't think men your age jump off of trees in 21st century Earth," Kat commented.
The Doctor grinned, "Well it's a good thing I'm not from Earth or even this century. Stay here by the TARDIS. I'll be right back."
Kat sighed and turned to face the spaceship, parked quietly in the shade. Strangely, no one seemed to notice it – but that was the perception filter at work. On the outside it looked like an unassuming out-of-date police box (now that she finally knew what that was), but it was so much more – so much bigger on the inside. Just bursting with life.
"Oh no, the kite!" The shout jostled Kat out of her reverie and became aware of the two children (though the girl seemed to be her age) arguing over a kite. Which seemed to be stuck in a tree.
"Artie, it's your fault. This is why I didn't want you to play with the kite. Now what are we going to do?" the older girl scolded.
"I'm sorry Angie. I thought it would be fun. I don't want to climb the tree though, you know I'm scared of heights."
When the older girl (Angie?) crossed her arms, the universal sign of a lecture coming on, Kat saw it fit to intervene, "Can I help? I'm not scared of heights. I could get it for you?"
"Really?" the boy asked. While his sister (at least, Kat thought they were related) started to lecture the young boy about talking to strangers, Kat decided to start climbing. She steadied her footing and stretched her arm, her hand barely grasping at the material. She grabbed it and then jumped down, very much like the Doctor had just minutes beforehand. Kat heaved a deep breath after the arduous task and when she turned to the children she found an older man had joined them.
"Here you are," Kat held out the kite to the little boy, "It's a bit bent, but it should still fly fine."
"Wow, thank you!" and then he ran off with his sister chasing after him, yelling that it was her turn. Which left Kat with the man.
"Thank you for your help. I would have done it myself, but well, men my age probably shouldn't climb trees," Kat didn't answer, not quite sure what to say. He held out his hand and carried on, "Dave, I'm friends with their dad."
Before Kat could even process to shake his hand at the introduction, she heard an angry Scottish voice call her name and the next second the Doctor was pinned at her side. A hand on her shoulder, protective of her.
The man took the sudden appearance in stride, "Oh I didn't mean any harm, I was just thanking her for helping the kids out."
The Doctor didn't smile, just kept staring at the man. Kat could feel Danny move into her side.
"You must be very proud to have such a lovely daughter," the man complimented. Before Kat could correct the misunderstanding, the Doctor spoke.
"Yes, I am. She takes after her mother that way I suppose," the Doctor lied. Kat looked up at him in shock as she registered his words. They had acted as uncle and niece before on other planets, but never father and daughter. The Doctor glanced at her for a moment, and she could see in his eyes that he meant the sentiment.
"Yes, well she seems lovely. I only wish I had a daughter of my own like that," the man's expression turned down a bit.
The Doctor stiffened and Kat could feel his hand ball up into a fist. Immediately Danny's hand came to her shoulder as the Doctor removed his own and stuffed his hands into his pockets as he spoke painfully, "I'm sure you would have had an amazing daughter. And that you would have made an even better dad, yourself."
The man smiled, "Thank you, but I guess I'll never know. Anyways, I'd best get back to the kids. I'd hate to tell their dad that I lost them." The man raised a hand and bid them bye as he jogged away.
Danny was the first to break the cold silence, "Doctor-"
"I don't want to talk about it. Let's get back shall we? I believe Kat has something she wants to show you?" the Doctor smiled in her direction, but it didn't reach his eyes. He turned and began walking to his box.
"What was that? What just happened?" Kat asked Danny frantically. The Doctor had been fine when they arrived, almost downright joyful. And then that man had appeared and the Doctor became stone-faced again.
"They just – the Doctor's met him before. He just doesn't remember," Danny tried to explain, "Never mind that, I want to know what you've been up to. How long has it been for you?"
"About four months."
"Four months?" Danny exclaimed as he picked her into a hug, "Looks like you two don't need me anymore. It's only been a month for me. Now come on, I think the Doctor's getting bored of Earth. Better take him somewhere fun."
The pair caught up to the Doctor, stroking the wood of the doors. Kat thought she heard him apologizing to his ship.
"Now then, adventures, yeah?" the Doctor tried to pick up his spirits as he led them onboard. As soon as they entered the ship, the roar caught Danny off-guard. He quickly flattened himself against the doors as he hid behind Kat. Lying on the stairs, with a ring of light around it was a great beast.
"Doctor! What is that?" Danny yelled.
"Kat's new pet. And why are you hiding behind her? Honestly Danny, you're a grown man and she's a child. How is she going to protect you?" the Doctor teased him from the console.
Kat smiled at patted Danny's head and ignored his cries as she headed over to the beast, "This is Reyona, as you can see, she's a dragon." The ring of light disappeared as Kat sat next to the dragon (Reyona) and stroked her wings.
"I thought those were in fairytales?" Danny asked.
"You humans also think time travel is impossible and some of you still think aliens aren't real. There's not much I can do about your ignorance, and believe me, I've tried," the Doctor answered.
"And how did you meet it?" Danny asked nervously.
The dragon snorted at that, flames grazing the railing. The ship's alarms sounded at that, clearly not happy with the treatment.
"Shhh, Reyona," Kat consoled, "Remember, you can't breathe fire in here. She doesn't like it."
"You're talking to the dragon?" Danny asked dumbly.
"Oh you'd be surprised, she's a very intelligent creature and understands you just fine, Pink. And you should treat her with respect, dragons are very noble creatures and a sign of luck where they're from. In fact, people bring them offerings in order to receive their blessings."
"We found her abandoned on a planet, and these tradesmen were going to sell her and they would hurt her if they got her," Kat tried to hurriedly explain, "So we saved her. And ever since then she's been with us. She's beautiful isn't she?"
"She's a giant fire-breathing winged lizard!" Danny deadpanned, "How did you think this was a safe idea for a pet?" The ship's lights flashed at that, clearly agreeing with Danny's words.
"That is incredibly rude. And besides if the Doctor talks to his ship all the time, I should be allowed to have a pet dragon. Although, pet isn't the right word," Kat clarified, ignoring the Doctor's eye-roll, "She takes care of me. She's saved me in return plenty of times."
"Dragons are incredibly loyal creatures, once you gain their trust they will do anything to help you. It's nice to have an extra eye to look out for Kat when you're not around," the Doctor commented in further as he scratched Reyona's ear.
"Between you, Danny, Reyona and the ship I don't think I can get into much trouble," Kat assured. As the dragon let out more flames, the TARDIS whirred angrily. The Doctor sighed and returned to the console, trying to appease her.
"I'm taking it she doesn't like Kat's new friend?" Danny asked the Doctor as he edged towards the dragon.
"Yes well, she's been used to taking care of Kat herself. Now she has to share her with a dragon too. You know her, she's always been the jealous type. And the breathing fire on the walls doesn't help much I suppose," the Doctor patted the panel affectionately. The ship lurched him off of his feet, clearly unhappy with the Doctor's characterization of her.
"Well, she doesn't have to worry so much about me!" Kat called to the ceiling. Over the months even she had found herself talking to the ship many times finally accepting the life it it, "Ever since I got Reyona it's like they've been at war with each other. She's my dragon and my friend, she's not going to hurt me."
"Oh it's just her maternal side kicking in. She doesn't think it's safe to have a pet dragon, that's all. It's her way of caring," the Doctor spoke for his longest companion, "She's just fiercely protective of those she loves."
"Yeah, caring about others before herself, that definitely sounds like her. She was always like that, even before," Danny commented absent-mindedly.
"Before what?" Kat asked confused. Danny looked between her and the Doctor, the words getting stuck in his throat.
"Nothing," the Doctor interrupted, "He just meant before, with the other companions. That's all."
Kat knew he was keeping something from her. But before she could ask, the lever moved down by itself and they were hurtled into the time vortex.
"You don't have to be so upset with me," Clara announced as she entered his room, her back closing the door shut. Privacy at last.
"I can and I am upset with you," the Doctor sighed and dragged his hands down his weary face, "But I'm more angry with them."
"I know. So is Danny, I just finished talking to him."
"I don't do goodbyes," the Doctor warned.
"Who says this is goodbye?" Clara attempted to smile as she sat next to him on the bed.
The Doctor chose not to answer, "We should have never come here. I shouldn't have tried to find them. Find Gallifrey."
"You did the right thing saving them," Clara declared firmly, "They're your people. They care about you."
"Yes I'm sure," the Doctor let out a humourless laugh, "Giving me an extra regeneration cycle so that I can use it to find them. And when I do, they 'reward me' like this. I am a pawn."
"Well, they offered you the presidency…again."
"All the more reason to leave. We could go. Right now, you and me. Just like always," he pleaded with her and grabbed her hands. This Doctor was not physically affectionate, but Clara knew he was desperate for comfort – for reassurance.
Clara covered his hands with one of her own and placed the other on his cheek as she looked into his eyes, "I would want nothing more. These past few years have been the best of my life. But we both know I wouldn't survive if we ran."
"If you would just let me-"
"No!" Clara stopped him with a finger to his lips, "You know you can't. She told you, your body is unstable. You couldn't handle it either."
"I might still have a chance."
"No more than me. Besides this is your home."
The Doctor looked away, "Not anymore. What's that saying you humans have? 'Home is where the heart is.' My hearts don't belong to Gallifrey anymore."
Clara returned his deep gaze and said, "I love you."
"Liar," the Doctor accused, "If you loved me, really and truly loved me like you always say you do…then you wouldn't be doing this. You wouldn't leave me like this," he stopped as his voice began to break.
"Oh Doctor," Clara wiped a tear from her eye and wrapped her arms around the man as she climbed into his lap. He gripped at her tightly, as though scared she would disappear the second he let go.
"I don't think I know how to live without you," the Doctor whispered, "You're a part of me."
Clara tucked her face under his chin and spoke quietly, "You'll never have to be without me. Not if everything works out. But you and me, we're bonded, Doctor. Even before I met you, you had met me. Scattering myself in your timestream intertwined our timelines. We're meant for each other – you'll never be rid of me."
"Your echoes weren't meant for me. They were made for my past selves. But you, this you…you're mine."
The Doctor felt his shirt dampen and looked down at his small companion, her face shining with tears, "You're crying."
"Will this work?" she asked in fear.
"I don't know," he replied honestly.
"It's just, if I'm removed from time…what's going to happen to my family?"
"It's like," the Doctor struggled to explain the complexities of time to his human companion, although she would soon understand it for herself rather shortly, "It's like when a drop of water falls into a still lake. It creates ripples. Then you take the drop of water out, but the ripples are still there."
He remembered when Rory Williams had been erased from time and continued, "No one is ever completely gone. It might be harder to remember you for some, but there are always traces. Everything you've done will still have happened. You'll still have saved me, you'll still have taught those students and been a nanny to Angie and Artie. They just won't clearly remember who it was. Those who were closest to you and are time travelers, like Danny and I, shouldn't have much of a problem remembering you."
"And my dad?" Clara begged, "He's already lost my mum. I don't want to hurt him with the loss of me too. Could you?" Clara trailed off, not able to finish the request.
The Doctor gave a sharp nod as he understood anyways, "I can make sure he forgets, if that's what you want. It won't be perfect, he won't remember ever having you….but he will feel that something is missing."
"Thank you," Clara moved back so she could see his face, cupping his cheek she said, "One more request. Put a smile on that gorgeous face of yours? Please, for me?"
Despite himself, the Doctor could feel his lips quirking up. He covered the expression by kissing the palm of her hand, "I've got wrinkles and grey hair, I'm far from gorgeous, darling. That title has always been yours."
"What? Even now? My hair's a mess and my eyes are all puffy and red from crying."
"Beautiful as ever," the Doctor assured, "You don't have to do this. I know you think it's better than dying, but it might be hell. Nobody knows."
"I'm aware of the possible consequences of what I decided but it was my choice, remember? Mine. And no one else's. I love you," she repeated, "I love you desperately, and I don't want to spend my last night arguing with you over this. My mind is made up."
"And I'm just supposed to accept it?" the Doctor snapped.
"No, I know you could never accept my decision," Clara cradled his face, "But I expect you to respect me, and my independence. I'm doing this for myself, I deserve that, don't I?"
The Doctor sighed, after everything they had been through together, how could he deny her?
"I don't want to lose you" he admitted softly, his voice slightly cracking.
"You could never lose me. I told you: we're bonded. I'll always be there for you, no matter what."
"Does it hurt?" he asked her bluntly.
"Yes," she replied honestly, she had never been one to lie to her Doctor, "It burns. You get used to it. I don't notice it if I don't think about it. Honest."
The Doctor ignored how she threw his own words back at him, even now on the edge of death she chose to pick a fight with him. And he adored her for it. He brushed aside her hair and studied her closely, his fingers grazing her skin. Clara closed her eyes as she felt him touch her, mapping her out. Memorizing her one last time. Then she kissed him softly on the lips and pulled back when he stayed still.
"Come here," she murmured. She pulled on the lapels of his coat and attached their lips again. This time the Doctor responded more enthusiastically, his hands coming to rest on her waist as hers tangled into his curls.
"Enough with the serious conversation," she announced as she lay back on the bed, pulling his body over her own. Using it as a shield to protect her from the rest of the world, "It's our last night together. Surely you want to do something else other than talk about the sad things?" she asked suggestively.
"I want to hold you," he blurted out.
"Really? That's all? Just hold me?" Clara asked incredulously, "Honestly, our last night. I was hoping for a bit more than that. Hardly a proper goodbye."
"I don't do goodbyes," he repeated, "And I never said no to anything more, we have all night for that. But right now, I just want to hold you. If tonight is my last night with you, then I want you in my arms, for all of the nights that I didn't get to hold you. I want to feel your body next to mine as you breathe, hear your heart beat. And more than anything I want to wake up one last time in the morning with you in my arms and know that you are still mine."
"I'm always yours," Clara soothed as her own voice cracked with emotion, "Forever and always. And you say you're not romantic."
"Say it again?" the Doctor implored.
"I love you," Clara curled her hands into his shirt and curled in closer into his embrace, burying her head into his chest, tears springing to her eyes again, "I love you so much."
"Yeah that," the Doctor said. He kissed her forehead and immediately a rush of emotions filled Clara with an onslaught of images.
Happiness tinged with longing and desperation. Sadness enveloped with anger at the same time. Guilt. But mostly joy. Stolen moments of them together flittered around in her head. Running in the rain, dancing in the TARDIS (or at least trying to get the Doctor to dance), shouting at each other in front of Vastra and Jenny, making a mess while trying to bake in her kitchen. The time the Doctor woke her up in the middle of night to go on an adventure, and how she had screamed at him. Or when she was crying over his injured body, thinking he was going to regenerate and leave her alone again. The Doctor constantly barging in on her when she changed, not giving a damn about personal space even though he barely ever hugged her. Having him show up unannounced in her classroom no matter how many times she told him to stop, only to have the students love him whenever he got her to dismiss class early. And the quieter moments, (nearly impossible with him) reading in the library with his head in her lap. Falling asleep on him and having him play with her hair. Drinking cocoa side by side while they watched meteor showers on another planet.
All their precious time together. And even without the Doctor tracing the words in Gallifreyan on her skin, she knew. She knew what it all meant to him even though he could never say the words aloud.
He loved her too.
And there you have the first half. I was going to add another scene in, but the last flashback went a bit overboard. I'm a sucker for actual Twelve/Clara scenes. Next chapter should be up in about a week.
Please, please review with your thoughts. I'm extremely nervous about this fic. And thank you for reading! :D