A/N: The following fiction was inspired by OS-tan. I know what OS-tan is, don't worry, but I just wanted to do this. Here a couple short stories about the internet.
FanFiction
FanFiction sat at her typewriter, typing away. What was she typing? Anything, I guess.
There was a knock at the door.
"Come in," FanFiction grunted.
In came Google, looking worried. "FanFiction? Are you OK?" she asked. "You haven't come out in days."
"I'm fine," FanFiction muttered. "I've just been writing more fanfiction."
Google looked at the pile of papers on both sides of the door. She picked up a random sheet and scanned through it. It wasn't very good, to say the least.
"You switched pairings in Super Smash Bros. Brawl again?" Google said with an exasperated sigh. "Look, you can't keep changing your onions like this. And you gotta get out instead of sitting in this room doing-"
"Shut the f*** up!" FanFiction shouted.
Google put hand to forehead and sighed again. She saw this coming, seeing as how FanFiction was very passionate about her work and hated criticism of any kind with a burning passion.
"I sit in trying to make my writing better, day after day," FanFiction ranted, "and yet you can't accept the fact that one of my fictions might be good! I get so many reviews and yet you just can't accept the fact that people actually READ my $h!t!"
"I've read your reviews; most of them aren't very positive," Google countered. "I think it's better to have two or three good reviews then to have twenty bad ones."
"What the H3ll do you know!" FanFiction raged on. "All you do is tell people where we are! You're a lazy b!t¢h, that's what you are!"
I hope she doesn't get another rage-induced fever... Google thought. People have complained to me about when she's shut down.
"Dear, you can stop writing for one day," Google told FanFiction. "You're obsessed with it."
"Well excuse me for having a hobby," FanFiction growled.
Google sighed, marking the situation as hopeless and simply leaving.
FanFiction watched Google leaved. When she was gone, FanFiction opened a file cabinet that was next to her and pulled out a picture of her older sister, AdultFanFiction.
AdultFanFiction was pretty much the same as FanFiction, except that AdultFanFiction could take criticism and her mind was... Well, dirtier.
"Why are you more popular then me?" FanFiction wondered aloud. "I try to write good fictions, but I just can't. Every now and then I can, but you... Grambi..."
FanFiction put the picture back and checked her watch. It was that time of day when she calmed the f*** down and wrote good stuff. She took a deep breath and went back to her typewriter.
YouTube
YouTube looked over the channels she had given people. She pushed a button on a remote she had and removed a video somebody put up that included nudity. She hated nudity. And copyright infringement. Except if it was at a lower volume or if it was mirrored.
"Excuse m-me? M-ms. YouTube?" one person who had a station owned by YouTube stammered, poking his head in the door.
YouTube turned to look at the person. She made a motion for him to come in.
"Why did you close my channel?" the person asked, coming in and closing the door behind him.
"You weren't using it," YouTube explained in an annoyed manner.
"I didn't have access to a computer for a week," the guy retorted. "Could you give me it back?"
YouTube turned around to fully look at the person. "No," she said flatly. "You didn't use it for a week, so it's a dead channel."
The person was confused. He shook it off and decided to ask her another question, seeing as how he had found a few problems. "I've noticed that I've sometimes had a problem with the up-loader," he said. "Are you planning to fix it anytime soon?"
YouTube groaned and said, "I'll f***ing work on it later! Gah!"
The person blinked. "But it's a major problem," he stated, "it sometimes will split the video in half when I don't want it to." He thought for a moment and added, "It sometimes won't upload it at all!"
"Again, I'll f***ing work on it later!" YouTube repeated herself. "What don't you morons get?"
"Why you aren't fixing anything that isn't the comments section," the person grumbled, leaving the room.
YouTube rolled her eyes and went back to her moniters. She got rid of BillyBob's second account. That should teach him for telling me I should improve myself... she thought evilly. She then decided to go back to what she was doing before that other thing she was previously doing – watching "-chan iu na".
Wikipedia and Uncyclopedia Part I
Wikipedia quickly peeked at Uncyclopedia's encyclopedia.
"Write your own dang encyclopedia!" Uncyclopedia exclaimed, pulling her encyclopedia.
"I just wanted to see how far you were," Wikipedia said innocently. "Seeing as how your r3t rd3d and all..."
Uncyclopedia snapped her book shut and put it back on its shelf. "Just because I different tastes then you doesn't mean I'm what you say I am..." Uncyclopedia reminded her sister.
"You can't hold down a job!" Wikipedia argued in a whiny manner, to which Uncyclopedia grinned. "Remember? That said your Not Safe for Work."
"Well, what do they know?" Uncyclopedia asked, patting Wikipedia's head mockingly. "I'm not the gullible one here."
"I'm not gullible!" Wikipedia exclaimed, swatting Uncyclopedia's hand away.
Uncyclopedia rolled her eyes, knowing that wasn't true in the slightest. She decided to change the subject by asking, "What letter you on?"
"N," Wikipedia replied, putting her quill down. "I'm writing about necrophilia."
"How you gonna learn about it?" Uncyclopedia asked.
"Go around town and ask users about it," Wikipedia answered, putting the book down, getting up and leaving.
Uncyclopedia groaned, knowing she'd have to follow her around and make sure nobody told her something wrong.
Wikipedia enjoyed getting out often. Writing her encyclopedia often got boring, so the occasional walk outside to gather information was nice. Gmail had told her last week that letters were being sent out to members of a necrophilia club and that they were getting together in an hour. She decided to head there, Uncyclopedia following behind closely.
"I know exactly where she's going..." Uncyclopedia muttered to herself. "And I know I'm not going to like it... I hope somebody heard me. 'Cause, if not, then I just sounded stupid." And with that, she went off.
Facebook put her camera back in her bag and pulled out a pair of binoculars, along with a notepad. Using a very complicated set-up, she looked through the binoculars while also keeping an eye on her subject, a user who had joined last week.
"What are your secrets?" Facebook had wondered that same week. "What do you look like naked? I must find out..."
The user in question didn't show any odd traits. He was just another user. After a few minutes, he left.
Facebook climbed down from the tree she was in and went to iTunes, who the user had been talking to.
"What did he say?" Facebook enquired iTunes. "Tell me everything!"
"Look, I'm just a 24-hour music store," iTunes reminded Facebook. "I don't care about what you do..."
Facebook huffed and crossed her arms. "You're no fun..."
"Yeah, you tell me that every time I don't do what you want..." iTunes muttered. She looked around and asked, "Weren't you doing something?"
"What?" Facebook looked confused. She thought for a minute or two and shrugged.
"That's your problem," iTunes said flatly, going back into her store.
Facebook stood there for a moment, confused, before deciding to pull out her time shares and sell them. Each one was 38 dollars and her goal was the sell 300,000. So far, she had only sold 64.
"Excuse me, user," Facebook said, going up to a random user, "would you like to buy a time share?"
"No thanks," the user replied, pushing Facebook away. "I know exactly what you're trying to pull."
"I'm not pulling anything!" Facebook argued. "I just money!"
The user rolled his eyes and walked around. Facebook was left to wonder what she said. Then she noticed some kind of shiny thing on the ground and got distracted, like usual.
Gmail
Gmail checked her map again and saw that she only had 5 more houses to go before her route was done. The first of which just so happened to be right in front of her. So she put her map away in her pouch and checked the bag she had slung over her shoulder. She pulled out the correct mail and went to the house. She got halfway up the walk when she stopped and her eye twitched.
It's happening again.. Gmail thought. I promised Google I wouldn't do it again... But my Lord, I just can't help myself!
Gmail dug through another bag she had and pulled out a handful of other letters, all of which was spam. She breathed out heavily and continued up the walk. Once at the house, she shoved the mail in the slot and walked away.
She was about to leave, when somebody called her: "Hey!"
Gmail sighed and turned around. It was Ke$ha, who looked like a woman, but she was another man.
"I thought you said you weren't gonna give me anymore damn spam!" Ke$ha exclaimed, throwing the mail on the ground. "You sick mother-"
"I can't help it!" Gmail exclaimed defensively. "It's a mental condition! I've been taking my meds every day, but I still feel impulsed... To throw in spam..."
"Well keep it away from me!" Ke$ha snarled. He picked the mail up again, along with a rock, crumpled the mail around and rock and threw it at Gmail.
Gmail, not reacting fast enough (she was never the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree), got hit in the eye.
"AND~ stay out!" Ke$ha slammed his door and Gmail started to tear up. This was the first time she ever got really hurt. She thought taking up this job would protect her. She never really got bugs, or viruses-
Gmail slapped her forehead. The spam sometimes contained viruses.
"I can't continue my route like this..." Gmail muttered quickly to herself, getting away from Ke$ha's house. She got a quick glimpse of Wikipedia, who was heading towards her next place.
"Wikipedia!" Gmail called, running to her. "Can you deliver the rest of my mail?"
"Sure," Wikipedia said, taking the mail. She took notice of Gmail's eye. "What happened to your-"
"Don't ask," Gmail muttered, going off to find Google.
Wikipedia looked at the mail, shrugged and went on her way.
Netflix
Netflix took the user's ticket and pressed a button, opening the door to the theatre.
"Thank you for choosing my film service," Netflix told the user with a grin.
The user grunted and went in.
As soon as the door shut, Netflix quickly whipped out her iPhone and drew 20 dollars from the user's bank account.
"Now I can buy that new set of films!" Netflix whispered to herself. "I know my selection isn't that good, but where else are people gonna watch movies?"
"Maybe with me?" YouTube asked, going to Netflix. "Some users have posted full movies."
"But I have Airplane II: The Sequel!" Netflix said defensively.
"Who in the right mind would willing see Airplane II?" YouTube scoffed. "Anyways, what happened to your video rental service?"
"I had to shut it down today..." Netflix admitted.
"You opened it today," YouTube reminded Netflix.
"I had to shut it down three minutes later..." Netflix muttered, trying to sound miserable.
YouTube rolled her eyes and checked out what Netflix was doing.
"Ripping more people off, I see?" YouTube laughed.
"Stop it!" Netflix whined, putting her iPhone away. "I can't run this thing on three dollars! I do this b-because I have to!"
"Or you could ask Google for some money," YouTube informed Netflix. "That's how my TV station got off of the ground."
Netflix grunted. "I don't want to... I can survive on my own..."
YouTube chuckled and walked away.
Netflix stared after her for a moment before the user from earlier came out.
"You have Paul's Really Dead: The Last Testament of George Harrison!" The user exclaimed, furious. "What the heck!"
Netflix groaned.
Wikipedia and Uncylopedia, Part II
Wikipedia entered the strange looking building where the necrophilia users were hiding. They were gathered on a circle on the floor, a dead link next to them.
"We thank thee, Internet Archives," one user muttered as the others chanted something in Klingon, "for gracing us with this dead link."
"Um, excuse me?" Wikipedia said aloud, catching their attention.
"What do you want?" the one user, who I shall now call Leppo, asked, the chanting stopping.
Wikipedia cleared her throat. "I'm researching necrophilia and I was hoping that you would tell me a thing or two about it."
Leppo raised an eyebrow. "You want to learn about necrophilia?" he repeated, disbelieving.
Wikipedia nodded and Leppo grinned.
"Well, there's only one way to learn about learn about necrophilia," Leppo explained, "and that's to do it..."
"Really?" Wikipedia wasn't too sure.
"Yes, it is... You can trust us..." Leppo reassured Wikipedia. He dragged the dead link into the middle of the circle.
Wikipedia squinted at the dead link. It reminded her a lot of "The Official & The Original From Christian Weston Chandler the Sonichu and Rosechu Site!", a site that had died years ago.
"It's simple," Leppo hissed. "Just give a nice one..."
Wikipedia got on her knees and looked at the dead link. It looked disgusting. She really didn't want to do it, but it was the only way to get information, at least in her mind.
"Do it..." the other users whispered at different times.
Wikipedia swallowed, took a deep breath, shut her eyes tight and was about to do the unthinkable.
Leppo pulled out his camera and started to record it.
Wikipedia was just about to kiss the dead link, when, who woulda thunk, Uncyclopedia comes out of nowhere and yanks Wikipedia away from the dead link.
"I knew this would happen!" Uncylopedia shouted angrily. "Do I need to put you on a damn leash?"
Wikipedia shook her head no and made a disappointed noise.
Uncyclopedia looked at the users. "You know how gullible Wikipedia is!" she scolded the users. "You can't just use her for your own selfish needs!"
"What about you?" Leppo enquired. "People use you to store their unreliable information."
"That doesn't mean anything!" Uncylopedia pointed out.
"Yeah, but necrophilia isn't safe for work," Leppo told Uncylopedia. "If you wanna keep your reputation of being NSFW up, you gotta do this..."
"Really?" Uncyclopedia shoved Wikipedia away and looked at the dead link.
"Yeah, I'm serious," Leppo said. "Why do you think we're here?"
Uncylopedia thought about it before saying, "Well, if it's NSFW..."
DeviantART
DeviantART looked closely at the screen capture and then went back to her painting. She was almost done her version of a scene from Star Trek: The Motion Picture. Just as she was finishing, FanFiction stormed in, looking P-O'd.
"You write FANFICTION!" FanFiction cried in rage. "Only I can do that! ME!"
"Yeah, but, unlike you," DeviantART explained calmly, putting her brush down, "I don't switch shippings every five seconds. I put them into categories. I make sure their even."
"Yeah, but you draw!" FanFiction sputtered. "You can't write if you draw!"
"If I recall, you're now drawing covers to your fictions," DeviantART pointed out, going back to her portrait. "And another thing is that I get out more often then you. You, on the other hand, stay inside 24/7 and complain if anyone makes fun of your work."
FanFiction growled. "But more people like me then you!"
"But some people who submit work to you also submit pictures to me," DeviantART said flatly. "Damn, I can never get Spock's ears right..."
"But... But... But..." FanFiction tried to come up with another reason why DeviantART sucks.
"Oh, yes, I also have some original works." DeviantART put her brush down again and pulled up a few dozen sheets of paper. "Your sister, FictionPress, really liked them."
FanFiction quickly read through it and, as much as she hated to admit it, she really liked it.
"Now, see, isn't that nice?" DeviantART asked FanFiction, noticing the rising hint of jealousy in her face.
"Yes," FanFiction murmured, thrusting the pages back at DeviantART.
DeviantART nodded and went back to her picture. FanFiction left, but not before stealing one of DeviantART's pictures for a cover of one of her works.
Encyclopedia Dramatica
Encyclopedia Dramatica watched as DeviantART tried to convince FanFiction to give her back her art. She sighed and shook her said. The internet is so stupid, ED thought, going her own way. Thank FireFox I'm here to witness it all so people can find out about these morons...
ED continued on her way until she found FanFiction's room, the door wide open. She deiced to check out her writing and went inside. After a minute or two of searching, she found an interesting one: It was called "The Internet" and it was about her and various other websites. ED read it and it was awful.
I can do so much better then this b!tch... ED thought. She looked at FanFiction's typewriter and got an idea. I'll only be a minute...
A/N: And those are my short stories! I hope you enjoyed them and at least got why I was trying to say. Before I go, I would like to ask you users something... How do you interpret these websites? And could you leave it in a review? Thanks in advance. This is That Gamer saying, "Bonum nocte et fortuna."