Naruto's discovery- ALL HAIL THE LOG!

I don't own Naruto nor did I create the idea of the almighty log but the ideas I used too expand upon the idea of log are mine... I would however be willing to allow their use by others so long as I am sited as a source within the work of whoever is using the ideas... 'twas a bit of a mouthful that.

Please forgive me if this offends anyone for any reason, that was not my intention, but shit happens

START NOW!

'kuchiose no jutsu!'

A plume of smoke appeared before getting swept up in the small breeze that drifted through the clearing, revealing a toad standing a good 5 FT with rough red skin and black stripes, seemingly at random.

" YO! Naruto, why have you summoned I, the great Gamaro?"

"Well I needed some help, do you have any fast moving water jutsu... That, ya know, WON'T kill me?"

"Sure, but why do you ask this of I, the great Gamaro? Do you doubt his great Gama-ro-ee-ness?"

"stop that"

"What?"

"Stop saying your name like that"

"Why"

"It's annoying"

"Fine... Believe it"

"I hate you"

"Whatever, why do you want to know about my water jutsu?"

"I need to work on my 'kawarimi no jutsu', see?"

"... Naruto... You know, you really shouldn't use that jutsu to often"

"Why?"

"*sigh* use it and I'll show you"

"... Oook? Get ready with that water then!"

"On it"

"Fire when ready!"

"Yes! I the great Gamaro, shall now prove my prowess in water!"

"Shut the hell up!"

'Mizu barūn bakudan no jutsu!'

A balloon sized ball of water was released from the great toads mouth, flying at Naruto's face. Just as the ball impacted however, Naruto was replaced with a log.

"Okay, now why shouldn't I use this jutsu?" He asked from behind Gamaro... who was poking the log with a stick?

"Just wait"

Upon these words being spoken, the logs eyes flashed open and... Wait, eyes?

"uuuh... 6th time today dammit!" spoke the inanimate-come-animate object.

"HOLY SHIT! The log talked!"

"Yep... They do that"

"Who de 'ell is you?"... The log

"Umm hi? Mister log... Uh"

"Wha ye wan? I in no mood!"

"Sorry but, um, what are you?"

"Can't you tell? He's the log"

"Well I can see that... But..."

"I explan its toody-boy, I... Is de log, de almitty log... When subs bastad usey de kaw... Kawi... Subtidution-thin, deh subin meh firm de gran forst... I be a subin critter juh lik dat toody der"

"Eh? Really?"

"Yeah, that's right Naruto, the almighty log... Immortal... Powerful... The ninja worlds favorite scapegoat."

"If he's so awesome, why does he sound so stupid?"

"He's like..." looks at the log spinning on the ground and laughing "this, because being immortal doesn't stop the head trauma he gets every time he's 'summoned'"

"O... K?"

"I know that your curious about the power thing, you know the first hokage? The log was his personal summon... When someone summons the log it changes it's appearance to that of its summoner, it gains their abilities, plus it's own mokuton jutsu-"

"Wait wait... wait... So the first had no real power?"

"I never said that"

"EXPLAIN"

"The first was a log sage... He got the mokuton from the almitty log"

"Does that mean I could get it?"

"ye""nop, yeh subin de toodies, can't be meh subiner, con doobit"

"... Damn"

"PRAISE THE LOG!"

-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-

Coming soon...

The Book of Log

The log bible in all it's glory(if I ever get around to finishing it)... Praise the Log

Or it could just be a compilation of total bullshittyness that is... more or less... A book about how the log created the Narutoverse

P.S. Don't question how people use the kawarimi if they haven't signed it's contract... If I get The Book of Log finished it will all be explained there.