Summary: Has Amy given up the fight for intimacy? Has she exhausted every possible resource available to her? Or will she remember that all's fair in love and war?
a/n: This story is all set before S7E12.
Disclaimer: I don't own The Big Bang Theory, but...
Concession
Chapter 1: A Madness of Sorts
Journal entry:
Point one: Sheldon has admitted that since meeting me he has not ruled out intimacy. Point two: He has proven to be quite the dirty talker with his Dungeons & Dragons style erotic caresses and nibbles. Point three: After that particularly wild evening, my night ended, albeit alone, with a rather rigorous session with Gerard.
One might think that all of these new breakthroughs would inspire me to continue my attempts at persuasion, but quite frankly, I am tired. I'm not tired of Sheldon. He really is the best boyfriend, aside from the lack of physical contact. He satisfies me in every other way that matters. But maybe it's time for me to come to terms with what is happening here...
An asexual romance. A romantic friendship, one might say.
It's not necessarily a bad thing. In a way, it's more romantic than relationships of a sexual nature. And sex can't be used as a bargaining chip, which has been known to destroy relationships...
Alright, let's be serious. I can't use sex as a bargaining chip. If Sheldon ever felt the need to do it, he could use it against me all day to get his way. What am I saying? He usually gets his way anyway. I guess I'm just a slave to his every wish.
Even now I'm considering giving up on everything I want this relationship to become simply because of the way he wants things to be. Love is all about sacrifice. He's sacrificed a lot for me and I've sacrificed a lot for him.
Amy closed her journal and stared at the cover. "I'd gladly sacrifice anything just to have him in my life. Even if it means giving up on the one thing I want most in the world." She smiled sadly to herself. "Besides, I still have Gerard."
...the end of date night...
Sheldon was standing beside Amy drying dishes while she washed them. "With my knowledge of the workings of the universe and your knowledge of the workings of the brain, I don't see why we hadn't considered a joint venture in writing a space opera before now."
Amy was sure that Sheldon had been talking the whole time they were washing dishes, but she'd only heard his last couple of statements. "I have an even better idea. Remember when you bought the complete Star Trek: The Next Generation DVD collection for me?"
"Of course I remember. I have an eidetic memory. I remember everything from every moment of my life down to its finest detail," Sheldon reminded her.
"Well, I was thinking that we could spend some weekends doing something I'd like to call 'Next Generation Madness'. We could spend the weekend here and watch a full season of the show each weekend until we're done. All seven seasons. What do you think?" Amy asked. She tried to hand Sheldon a dish she was done washing, but he didn't take it. When she looked at him, he was staring at her. "What? Did I say something wrong?"
"But you don't even like Star Trek. That's why I suggested creating our own series instead," Sheldon said.
Amy smiled. "It's okay. It's something you like and I'd get to spend time with you, which is something I like. We both win."
Sheldon took the dish and stared at it for a while. "This isn't some ploy to try and seduce me into coital activities, is it? I've already told you that I'm not ready for anything like that."
"No. That's something else I meant to talk to you about," Amy said with a little laugh. "Having you in my life is enough. You don't like the idea of intimacy, so you don't have to worry about anything like that anymore. I've made peace with it. We have each other and that's all we really need."
"Wait. Are you saying that you no longer wish to engage in any amorous activities?"
"Well, I'm not saying that. I still have needs. Just not with you," Amy told him.
Sheldon's eyes grew wide with surprise. "With who, then?"
"I believe you meant to say 'With whom, then'," Amy corrected.
"Amy, please. Now's not the time for a grammar check. Is it Stuart? I know you two hugged on your last date."
"No. Nothing like that. I meant with..." She thought about saying Gerard, but he might get the wrong impression. "...myself." Amy looked at Sheldon, confused. "How did you know we hugged?"
"Not important. So you just came to this decision without running it by me first?" Sheldon asked.
Amy looked confused again. "I...I thought it would make you happy."
"Don't get me wrong. It makes me very happy. That definitely takes a lot of the pressure off. But I've spent the last year trying to figure out how being intimate with you would change our relationship."
"Y-you've been thinking about being intimate with me?" Amy asked, her eyes lighting up like the Fourth of July.
"Of course I have. The Relationship Agreement would have to be amended. You have no idea how much planning those revisions take."
The light in Amy's eyes dimmed. "That's all? No details about actually being with me?"
Sheldon studied the dish in his hands for a moment. "I don't know. You seemed pretty excited about that whole D&D love spell. That crossed my mind at least once."
The light returned. "Really?"
"And the time I gave you a bath. And the way you were breathing and the sounds you made when I put VapoRub on your chest," Sheldon went on, his voice faltering a bit.
Amy gasped and covered her mouth.
Sheldon put down the dish he hadn't dried yet. "Oh dear. Look at the time." He turned to leave.
"Wait, Sheldon. Do you really think of me like that sometimes?"
"Well, I do have an eidetic memory, so every now and then it comes to mind."
Amy moved closer to him. "Does it make you...feel anything?"
"Um...," was all he could muster.
"I'm sorry. You don't have to answer that."
"No, you deserve to know...," Sheldon began. He thought for a moment, then looked at the abandoned plate on the counter as though he were considering picking it back up to finish the job. "On rare occasions before I go to sleep...and those kinds of thoughts come to mind..."
Amy was already feeling flustered. Her cheeks were stained pink and she had to consciously control her breathing.
"...I have to do what comes naturally, of course..."
Amy's mind raced a mile a minute, imagining how Sheldon would go through with those acts that come naturally to any human being. Would it be well organized like the rest of his life? Spending a set amount of time at set paces? Calculating the pressure he should apply to himself in order to achieve his ultimate goal? Or would it be spontaneous and haphazard? Maybe even clumsy or unsure? Would he be focused? Would he be flustered? What kinds of faces would he make? Oh, and what about sounds? This was all too much for Amy to take. She was practically squirming with excitement where she stood.
"I engage in the Vulcan ritual of Kolinahr," Sheldon went on.
And with that, her fantasies were crushed under the heel of a make-believe species with absurd practices. She narrowed her eyes and looked back at Sheldon, who was staring at her strangely.
There was a long silence between them.
Maybe her best bet was to give up on this. Sheldon was obviously not willing to face his own feelings on the matter. That is, assuming he even had feelings on the matter outside of his precious Relationship Agreement. She was only getting herself into an emotional uproar.
Amy simply gave a singular nod, her lips pursed tightly together. This was all the evidence she needed to confirm the fact that her concession was indeed the right decision. It wouldn't change her feelings, but it WOULD change the way she dealt with them.
"Well, thank you for the clarification. Feel free to set your mind at ease. And get ready for the best weekends of your life when Next Generation Madness begins," Amy told him. She was almost excited just thinking about spending weekends with Sheldon. "I'll even let you have my bed and I'll sleep on the couch. I'll change the bedding before you arrive."
Sheldon gave a heartfelt smile. "You know, until your Next Generation Madness, I dreaded the prospect of spending nights in your apartment. Now you make it sound like an absolute delight. Shall we begin this weekend? I'll inform Leonard that I won't be around for several weekends. He'll be devastated, but he'll just have to learn to carry on without me."
"Let's make sure we're in agreement upon the parameters of NGM," Amy said.
"Of course. Shall I draw up the proper paperwork and bring it in on the first weekend?" Sheldon inquired.
"Please," was Amy's answer. "Now, in order to get an early start on Saturday morning, my suggestion is that you come over on Friday evening—"
"Awwwww, but Friday night is vintage game night," Sheldon interrupted.
Amy thought for a moment, then gave a nod. "How about this? I could come over on vintage game night and once you and your friends are done, I could bring you here."
Sheldon pondered the idea, then turned up his nose a little. "We'd be seeing an awful lot of each other. Between date night and the weekend, we'd practically be together the entire time."
"Proposal: We could temporarily exchange date night with NGM weekends and then pick back up on the following second Thursday once we've finished watching the series," Amy suggested.
Sheldon looked at Amy with adoration in his eyes. "Great minds really do think alike, don't they?"
"Was there ever any doubt?" Amy asked with a smile. "Now, as I was saying, once vintage game night is over, I could bring you back to my apartment where you can sleep in my bed and I will take the couch. We'll rise early on Saturday so you can have your cereal and watch Dr. Who. And then we begin Next Generation Madness, allowing adequate intermissions for stretching, food runs and bodily functions."
"Wait. What about laundry night? Every Saturday night at 8:15, I do my laundry," Sheldon interrupted again.
"I guess we could bring your laundry here and do it during an intermission," Amy suggested.
Sheldon shook his head. "I have no idea what capabilities the washing machines here possess. I also don't know the schedules of the laundry doers in your building. What if that's the time that everyone else in the building wants to do his or her laundry?"
"Hm. We could go back to your apartment then. It would be a place where you're comfortable and you know everything about the machines there. Not only that, but you wouldn't have to haul your laundry back and forth. Would that make you happy?"
Sheldon raised his eyebrows and nodded slowly. "That would be sufficient. Go on."
"Of course, you will be spending the night again on Saturday night in the same fashion as the night before and we will begin again on Sunday morning until the season has come to an end. I will then take you home on Sunday evening. What do you think?"
Sheldon nodded again. "That is agreeable. Well, I have a contract to draw up. Goodnight to you, Dr. Fowler."
"And goodnight to you, Dr. Cooper," Amy said.
...to be continued...
a/n: Hi, there. This is another of my attempts at writing this weird couple. I'm thinking this story might end up being kinda long, so please be patient with me. Let me know what you think and I'll see if I have it in me to put out another chapter.
a/n: Also, if I were Amy and I found out that Sheldon was thinking about me like that, I'd probably jump his bones.