Hi, I have never written for Harry Potter before, but I am a huge fan of the books and movies. I have always been so enthralled by the characters, so that is the basis for this one-shot. I am not the most well versed in spells, but I do feel (as I am sure all of you do) a connection to the characters. My fingers were itching to write this, so I am grateful to have a place to post.
Obviously, I do not own this…
This begins after the 7th book, before the epilogue.
It was over. The words kept reverberating through Harry's mind, but he was having a difficult time coming to grips with the reality of the situation.
It was over. Perhaps if he repeated this statement enough times, both externally and internally he would be able to wrap his mind around everything.
He looked down at his sandwich; the previously leafy crisp lettuce was starting to wilt over the sides of the bread like a deflated balloon. He was hungry. He wasn't even aware of the last time he had eaten a substantial meal without feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders. And even though his stomach continued to growl, verbally stating its hunger, he couldn't bring himself to pick up the sandwich. There was just too much on his mind.
They had won.
He knew that, of course he knew that. But then why…why didn't he feel like a victor? Even as he asked himself the question, Harry knew the answer. Too many were lost. There was a certain sense of relief, knowing it was over. But there was dread too, would people blame him? Or more to the point, would he blame himself? For that is what really worried Harry. He knew his friends; they would never place any sort of blame upon him. They were all aware of the risks; they all knew lives would be lost. But there was a difference now. Before it had almost been hypothetical, a huge what if. They hadn't known the names of those they would lose. But now…
But now… Harry knew the names, at least some of them. And he knew he would never see them again, at least in this lifetime. Could he live with himself?
The question seemed to hang there, like a person waiting for an important phone call. Harry searched himself, trying to find the answer and as deeply as he searched he kept coming back empty. He wasn't sure how long he sat there pondering the question. He hadn't even heard the door open or the light footsteps whisper across his dormitory floors. He started briefly as he felt the extra weight sink into his mattress. He knew who it was before even turning towards her. Her smell always gave her away, a mix between nutmeg, citrus and cinnamon, sweet with a hint of spice. A smell that was so uniquely her.
"Hi Gin." Harry stated quietly, still not able to look at her. Ginny's was one of the families that had suffered loss. Her brother was gone; a necessary part of the Weasley clan was no longer with them. And a part of Harry felt so responsible.
She didn't say anything. She just sat there patiently, waiting for him to look at her. Ginny couldn't even begin to imagine what was going through his mind at the moment. Hell, she wasn't even sure what was going through her's. The only thing she was positive on was that she needed to be near him. So she just sat there silently, willing her presence to offer some sort of unannounced comfort to both of them.
"Why aren't you downstairs with your family?" Harry asked, still refusing to glance her way.
Ginny let out a slight and sad sigh, a bit discouraged by Harry's lack of attention. Determined not to let more sadness and loss invade their shared space, Ginny focused on his question.
"I was downstairs with everyone and then…I don't know, it was just so crowded and claustrophobic, I needed to get away." She felt the sob starting to rise within her throat, closing off the passage like a hugely uncomfortable rock. She tried to keep it at bay, but it seemed the more she struggled, the more determined it was to escape. Not having the energy to battle her emotions anymore Ginny let the tears come. "Fred's gone." She said softly. "And I-I just couldn't be down there mourning with everyone looking on." She took a breath before continuing. "It's selfish, I know it's selfish, everyone lost somebody, but I-I needed to get away from it all and be alone. And I just found myself coming here." Ginny took a deep breath, not even noticing that now Harry was fully staring at her. "I think deep down, in some secret part of myself I was hoping to find you." A somewhat embarrassed snort left her. "Stupid right? After everything you have gone through tonight probably the only thing you wanted was to be left alone and here I am invading your space and crying all over your bed." Ginny roughly wiped her tears away with the palms of her hands, willing the free-flowing tears to stop. God, how she hated to cry. "I'm sorry Harry." The last bit was whispered so quietly Harry wouldn't have heard it had he not been so keenly tuned in to the girl sitting next to him.
It didn't matter that she was hurting and not in control of her emotions. Just being near her, smelling her scent, feeling the warmth of her body next to his, watching how the moonlight brought varying shades of gold and red to her hair; all of the things that were so innately "Ginny" offered comfort to Harry. It was then that he realized he loved her, right then as he sat next to her watching the tears run unhindered from her glistening chocolate eyes.
"You have nothing to apologize for Gin, if anything I should be apolog-"
"Harry Potter if you dare apologize to me right now, I will seriously deck you." Her eyes looked straight at Harry, the truth of her threat shining within the depths. "It doesn't matter that you just literally saved the world, I will do you bodily harm." She took a deep breath, willing her emotions to calm. "He was your brother too Harry, you know that right?"
A slight sad smile graced his lips as he stared at Ginny. He not only acknowledged the truth of her statement, he felt it. He felt it from all of the Weasleys, they and Hermione were his family. He let the smile spread as he addressed the small girl's threat. "I think I have been through the ring enough times in the last couple months." His gaze sobered as he looked at her. "And yes, I do know that Gin. I have always felt like a welcome part of your family."
"Good." The word echoed through the dormitory strongly. "As long as you don't start thinking of me as your sister." Ginny mumbled under her breath.
Harry couldn't help himself, he let the laughter come. And as his gaze met Ginny's, she soon joined him. Neither felt guilty for their laughter or worried that it wasn't the right time or situation. Both knew that joy was going to be necessary in the coming months and years. And if they were able to freely give into the release, they would gladly welcome the opportunity. As the laughter started to subside, their hands slowly worked their way towards one another, the fingers weaving together and forming an unstoppable unit. Ginny's head gently fell upon Harry's shoulder. Harry leaned into her hair, letting the soft tresses tickle his nose.
"Everything's going to be alright Ginny." Harry stated, feeling the truth in his words.
A slight smile fell upon Ginny's lips as she responded. "I know Harry, I know."