He's in his head. Silas. Stefan doesn't know how it is possible, but he knows there is a voice like his speaking, and he knows it's not his own voice. It couldn't be, because the voice is telling him stories about people Stefan has never met, set in a time he has never seen.
He listens because there is not a lot to do when you're trapped in a box at the bottom of a lake, and also because Silas doesn't really give him a choice.
It was supposed to be a fairytale, this is Silas' first revelation to him, and Stefan laughs quietly because a fucking fairytale, really? For some reasons, it sounds more like a bad zombie movie to him.
He doesn't say a word, though. He can't. He's drowning again.
.
.
.
Drowning it's a horrible way to die.
It's cold all around you, but inside everything burns: your throat, your eyes, your whole head.
Your world suddenly become very little: only darkness and water, only dreams and memories. Present and reality doesn't exist anymore, like the sun and the warmth.
It's only you, death, and ─ if you're unlucky enough ─ your shadow self chatting in your head.
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.
I loved her, Silas says when he wakes up again. I still do.
Stefan has no doubt about it. He understands love. Even the self-destructive one. He grew up with Damon, after all.
I'd burn the world down for her, Silas adds.
Stefan has no doubt about this neither, though he doesn't really understand why someone you love would want you to destroy everything else for her.
You don't understand it at all, Silas snaps. But you will. You will see. I can't wait to show it to you.
Silas' laugh it's the last thing Stefan hears before starting to swallow water again.
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.
Your brother keeps giving me funny looks, Silas informs him.
Stefan almost grins.
Don't take it personally, he gives me funny looks too. He gives funny looks to everyone, actually, it's just the way his eyes are.
You know what I mean, Silas retorts, irritated. Are you worried I will kill him, if he finds out I'm not you?, he asks then.
Stefan can't really tense, but the feeling is more or less that.
If you wanted him dead, you'd already killed him, he replies carefully.
Well, are you going to ask me why I didn't?, Silas teases.
Well, are you going to answer?, Stefan teases back.
No. I'm done talking. I want to show you someone, Silas says. And he seems both sad and excited at the same time.
...Her?, Stefan asks, and despite himself, he can't hide the curiosity in his voice.
Yes, her, Silas answers fondly. And then you will understand for real.
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He does. He does understand.
It takes just one look at her, and every piece of the puzzle falls into place.
In the end Stefan finds out the big picture, and in the end, he is not surprised at all.
It was so simple.
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She is beautiful. Of course she is.
Stefan looks at her familiar face and wonders for a moment if she is more like Katherine or more like Elena.
It doesn't really matters, though. He knows that he could love her anyway, just like he loved both her doppelgangers anyway.
He can't decide if it's funny or really horrible.
But at least, he thinks, this explain why the history keeps repeating itself.
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.
The three of them are standing in the middle of a land that is half dream and half memory, facing each other. Silence speaks for them for a long time.
You were right, Stefan says at last, turning around and looking straight in Silas eyes. It was a fairytale. And a good one. But it's gone bad. And then it's gone bad again. Probably it will always go bad, you know?
You can't say that until the end, Silas replies with a sincere smile, and Stefan suddenly remembers that once upon a time he was seventeen too.
We are both very far away from the end, my brother.
Stefan doesn't believe that. And judging by the sadness in her eyes, she doesn't believe that either.
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The moral, Stefan supposes, is that in the end it's all about love.
Not about a woman, like his brother loves to say, because there are so many different kind of love that you can't really reduce the whole thing to a woman.
We do what we do because we love our partner, yes, but also our family and our friends.
We do what we do because we're human, or we were human and we want to be human again. And, of course, there is nothing more human than love. Only hate, maybe. And sometimes they're almost the same thing.
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But love is not an excuse!, he yells to Silas after he comes back from the dark again. He struggles to put the words together, even if only in his mind. The end is coming, he observes absently, and it's coming very fast.
Love is not an excuse, he repeats. It doesn't justify any of your actions.
If it was, if it did, then all of them could be forgiven: Silas, Damon, Elena, Katherine, Rebekah, Klaus, Caroline, even himself.
It would be nice.
It would also be a lie.
And what makes you think that I need an excuse?, Silas asks with an amused voice. I'm not looking for forgiveness, Stefan.
Yes, you are, Stefan argues, with a tired voice. We all are, aren't we?
Silas doesn't replies.
Stefan knows he's got a point. But then death overwhelms him again, and he forgets it all.
.
.
.
He's in his head. Silas. Stefan doesn't know how it is possible, but he knows there is a voice like his speaking, and he knows it's not his own voice. It couldn't be, because the voice is telling him stories about people Stefan has never met, set in a time he has never seen.
He listens because there is not a lot to do when you're trapped in a box at the bottom of a lake, and also because Silas doesn't really give him a choice.
It was supposed to be a fairytale, this is Silas' first revelation to him, and Stefan laughs quietly because a fucking fairytale, really? For some reasons, it sounds more like a bad zombie movie to him.
He doesn't say a word, though. He can't. He's drowning again.
.
.
.
Just a little speculation. English is not my native language, so please let me know if there are any mistakes :)