Ginny's Howler

Written by xmystorytime

Full Summary: One-shot. "I really can't believe you talked me into this." It's Ginny's first time doing a howler. Harry ropes in Ron and Hermione to help sabotage it.

Warnings: None.

Ships: Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione

Disclaimer: Seriously? I have to say it?

"I really can't believe you talked me into this."

"C'mon love, don't back out now!" Ron pleaded. Hermione knew better than to look at him, otherwise she would give in to the puppy dog look he currently sported.

If, one week ago, she'd been told she would be in her best friend's study, helping him and her husband sabotage a howler her best friend's wife would send, she would not have believed them. She knew, like everyone else, that when someone received a howler they normally deserved it and she also knew, unlike everyone else, the dangers of tampering with one.

But, she also knew her inability to say no when Harry Potter apparated into her home, his emerald eyes sparkling with hope and asking for her help. He did it so rarely that, on the occasions he did ask, it usually turned out to be serious.

To be fair, his son's embarrassment probably was serious – for him.

"You won't even have to do a thing Hermione," Harry murmured, guiding her away from the desk where she'd quietly been shredding his paperwork and towards Ron. "All you'll have to do is be yourself. Ron and I can do the rest," he shared a mischievous look with the red-head on the sofa.

"That's right! Now come on, sit down already before she comes and gets all suspicious!" Ron gestured to the empty spaces on either side of him.

Privately, Hermione thought Ginny would be suspicious no matter what, but she still let Ron tug her until she'd curled up into his side. Harry settled on his other side and she felt more than saw Ron sling an arm over his shoulder and ruffle his hair. To her delight, he didn't protest and even lent into the touch a little. He really had come a long way.

"I still can't believe I'm here," she repeated, blushing at their groans. "Well I can't! If Ginny finds out -"

"Hermione -"

"- which you know she will because she's not stupid -"

"That's not -"

"- then she'll probably stop and -" she blinked as a big hand covered her mouth and then scowled at two amused boys.

"Look, you know Albus doesn't deserve a howler," Harry began as Ron removed his hand. "Ginny's just stressed from work and taking it out on him. It wouldn't have mattered if it had been me, but you know what Albus is like."

"Kid wouldn't survive a howler," Ron grimaced. "It wouldn't just be the attention, it would be the shouting too. Ever figure out why he had a thing against people yelling?" Hermione peered around Ron to study her oldest friend. She had wondered about that as well. Harry and Ginny rarely argued, and when they did it was never in front of the children. Logically, Albus had no reason to be edgy around loud voices.

"Nope," Harry shrugged, "I can only assume that -"

They froze as a door was slammed shut downstairs. On the stairs came faint footsteps and their eyes turned to the large oak door, which looked scarier now they knew what would soon storm through it.

The only thing scarier than an angry Ginny was an angry Harry.

...

No wonder the other children feared the Potter kids.

"Act natural," Ron hissed and Hermione rolled her eyes before thinking about her opponent in her newest legal case. He had to be the most frustrating person she'd met – and she'd met a lot of people. He could even give Ron a run for his money.

Thankfully, by the time Ginny stormed into the study with her eyes flashing thunder and lightning, Hermione had an honest look of irritation on her face. Not that it mattered in the end because Ron's younger sister didn't even glance at them as she stormed over to the desk and flung a red piece of parchment down. The pile of torn papers, which Hermione avoided looking at, scattered all over the floor.

Harry made a noise of protest, knowing he would be the one to clean that up, and Ginny spun around and did a double-take before glaring.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded, her fingers curling around her wand. Hermione and Ron happily let Harry field this one.

"Well, dear, I knew you were sending a howler to Albus and I wanted to see how a howler was made," the Boy-Who-Lived didn't cower beneath the glare that darkened at the mention of her youngest son, though Ron certainly did. "I've never seen anyone do it before, so... here I am?" he gave his best innocent smile.

Ginny narrowed her eyes but seemed to believe him, because she turned her fierce gaze to Hermione and Ron. The former avoided her eyes, knowing she wasn't the best at lying.

"I thought it would be funny to be here," Ron coughed, "and Hermione needed a break so I dragged her with us too. She wouldn't be here if she had a choice, right?" he glanced at her and she nodded, finding it hard to keep her surprise off her face.

Technically, everything they'd said was true. And, because they hadn't given anything away in their tone or expression, Ginny believed them.

"Whatever," she turned back to the red letter. It would probably be the closest to 'okay' as they could get. "Well, if you're here you might as well make yourself useful and help me with scolding him! Honestly, I don't know what's got into that boy. He wouldn't have done anything like this before Hogwarts," she ranted.

Before Slytherin, she implied.

Harry and Hermione glanced at each other warily. No matter how much she pretended otherwise, Ginny hadn't liked the fact Albus was a Slytherin. They hadn't cared either way, although Harry confessing he'd almost gone there himself had helped Hermione understand, but Ron and the other Weasleys shared the same opinion as Ginny.

They didn't have that permanent scorch mark on the wall for nothing.

The furious red-head pointed her wand at the parchment and snapped out a spell. Hermione watched, curiosity overriding nerves, as the paper floated up until it was level with Ginny's mouth and parted into lips. Ginny scrutinised it briefly before deciding everything looked fine. Then, without any warning, she began.

"Albus Severus Potter, I am very disappointed in you! Your father and I raised you differently than this! A prank is one thing, but what you did..."

"Just act yourself, okay?" Ron whispered into her ear and Hermione frowned. Harry and Ron looked confident, but in her experience their plans without her input rarely worked. Then again, they had got better in recent years due to being partners in their Auror work.

"... were you thinking?" Ginny paused to take a breath and Harry jumped in.

"I don't know Ginny, I thought it was pretty cool," he grinned and glanced at Ron, ignoring Ginny as she spun around and stared at him in surprise.

"It was bloody brilliant! Wish we'd thought of that when we were there," Ron snickered.

And suddenly, Hermione understood their plan.

"You would say that," she huffed, sitting upright and deciding to hope for the best. "I don't see why. We always ended up in similar situations whether or not we wanted to."

"That's true," Harry mused, "McGonagall called us on it once. What was it?"

"'Why is it that when anything happens, you three are at the centre?'" Ron did an impressive impression of the Headmistress and Hermione broke the stunned silence with a snort before she could stop herself. "That was sixth year, right? Not that we went looking for it. I think we attracted trouble, don't you?" he turned to Hermione.

"No, Harry attracted trouble and we came along for the ride," Hermione corrected.

"Ah! That's right..."

"I'm trying to scold my son here! Either help me or shut up, but don't sit around reminiscing!" Ginny interrupted. Hermione bit her lip, but Harry and Ron just snickered. The dark look they received promised revenge would be painful, but she did continue. "As I was saying Albus, it was very irresponsible of you. Of all the foolish things you could have done -"

Ron yelped and covered his ears. The other three turned to look at him, confused, and seeing Ginny had stopped he removed his hands and gave her his best betrayed look.

"Do you have to say it like that?" he asked.

"Why shouldn't I?" she replied, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Well... you sounded like Snape."

Ginny froze.

The Golden Trio waited, but she didn't move, and eventually they looked at each other nervously. Surely, being compared to Snape hadn't broken her, had it? Yes, okay, being compared to Snape offended people and it was likely a Weasley had never been compared to him before, but...

Only after Harry prodded her did she return to life and then it was as if the past minute never happened.

"What were we talking about?" she smiled. Hermione eyed her.

"The trouble we had in our time at Hogwarts," Harry answered.

"What trouble?" Ginny scoffed. "I don't see why you're complaining, you three ditched seventh year and didn't do your NEWTs for another five years. It was those who remained that had the most trouble..." she trailed off, her voice turning sad from the memories. Before they could wipe away the sadness she shook it off and put on a forced smile. "Of course, the best part was the DA. There's nothing like an illegal club to get the blood pumping, right?"

They waited patiently, and knew the exact moment Ginny remembered she was being recorded by the howler. The look on her face was the funniest horrified look Hermione had ever seen. "Ignore that! And you'd better not follow your father's footsteps either!"

"Fred and George too," Hermione added, and smiled at their confused looks, "Fred and George also dropped out, remember? But their store's become so successful they don't need NEWTs," she couldn't keep the disapproval out of her tone.

"... We're really bad role models," Harry summed up.

"You know, she makes us out to be the bad guys but she was just as bad," Ron sniggered.

"To be fair, Snape had a point a lot of the time," she kept her tone mild, ignoring the injured protests, and narrowed her eyes at Ron. "Flying a car from Kings Cross to Hogwarts was not the smartest thing you've ever done Ronald Weasley. Broke a few laws, didn't you?"

"... I'd completely forgotten about the Ford Angelia!" Ron breathed. "Bloody hell, what was what, second year? We crashed into the Whomping Willow, remember Harry?"

"Dangling above the Express with your best friend's sweaty grip being the only thing stopping a fall to a bloody death isn't something you forget quickly Ron," Harry snorted. Hermione and Ginny gasped – they hadn't been told that part before!

"Details, mate," Ron waved a hand dismissively, "I wonder if it's still in the forest..."

"It might be," Harry nudged Ron. Ginny made some kind of strangled noise. "We could probably convince Kingsley there's some very urgent stuff we need to check out and then go look for it..." he smirked, "I'm surprised though, I thought you said you'd never return to that place. Not after Aragog." Ron shuddered.

"Don't bring that up!" he hissed. "I'd rather not think about the giant spiders that tried to eat us!"

Hermione sighed, "Acromantula, Ronald, and he was Hagrid's friend -"

"Exactly!"

"- so I'm sure he wouldn't have eaten you if you hadn't acted like two idiots..." she trailed off at their incredulous looks. She'd expected it from Ron, but she scarcely got one from Harry. When she did, she was left with the unsettling thought of having made a mistake. "What?"

"Oh, sure, you can say that, you weren't there!" Ron waved his arms above his head. "There were thousands, all wanting a nice morsel of tasty Ron Weasley! Forgive me if I didn't feel like being eaten!"

"If you'll remember, the only reason I wasn't with you was because I had been petrified by the basilisk!" she snapped back. "Do you know how much work I had to catch up on?"

"Harry had to kill the bloody thing, I don't know why you're complaining!" Ron sank back into the space between them. Harry jerked at the mention of his name and focused back on them, having tuned out their argument with practice and spent the time admiring how Ginny's face matched her hair colour. "Besides, you made up for it next year. I still can't believe you never told us about that time turner."

A loud bang interrupted what was becoming a heated argument. The trio turned to Ginny, who looked extremely pissed, and managed to make all three feel like the only recipient of her glare.

"Would you all shut up?" she shrieked and turned back to the howler, obviously intending on trying to finish before they could ruin it anymore. "Albus, if you do anything like this again -"

"We'll send you a bottle of fir-" Harry elbowed Ron.

"Nice, tasty milk," he saved, smiling innocently while Ron clutched his side, face screwed up in pain. Ginny huffed, not fooled in the slightest.

"We will not. Harry, Ron, I'm not even going to bother. Hermione, you'll help, right?" her best female friend pleaded, and something inside Hermione made her move to stand next to her friend.

She cast a nervous eye over the letter and then back at her two friends. One had dissolved into hysterical laughter, while the other was trying to keep his composure and failing. They slipped off the sofa and she shook her head, unable to believe she'd put up with them for so long. But, it was that thought which told her what she had to do.

With a sigh she turned back to the letter and shut her eyes, not wanting to see Ginny's expression.

In for a penny, in for a pound.

"It was an impressive use of charms Albus," she admitted and felt taller than she ever had before when Harry whooped for joy and Ron bounced over to lift her up and spin her around. "I especially liked the way you combined -"

"That is it! I can't work with you people!" Ginny snapped and Hermione hid behind her husband. Not that she was scared or anything. Ginny just looked like she needed some space. "For Merlin's sake, you three have made me use up all my time!"

A lot of space.

"Did we? I hadn't realised," Ron snickered. "Did you mate?"

"I didn't know howlers had time limits," Harry replied, his eyes twinkling. "Hermione?" said woman hesitated, poking her head out from behind Ron's shoulder and meeting Ginny's eyes.

"Sorry," she said very quickly and quietly.

Still not scared.

Really.

"That is it!"

Maybe a little.

"Shi-"

Luckily for the teachers, his mother's Bad Bogey Hex drowned out Ron's curse, although the sound of glass shattering did not sound promising.

"Run for it!" his father yelled and then they could only hear the sound of furniture being destroyed and a lot of duelling. They eventually faded out and then the howler tore itself up – right over his cereal bowl.

"No!" he moaned, trying to shield his food, but he was too slow.

And then, as if they'd just been released from a spell, the students suddenly created a huge cacophony of noise. Most were laughing, but quite a few were whispering about the things mentioned and whether or not they were true.

On the Gryffindor table he saw James and Lily quickly converse, the frowns on their faces leaving no doubt what they were saying.

Albus shook his head and couldn't keep a warm smile off his face. His family could be irritating at times but he wouldn't trade them for the world. He glanced up at the teachers and laughed when he spotted McGonagall with her head in her hands. Hagrid, Flitwick and Longbottom were laughing, and the rest of the teachers just looked amused.

"Your family is rather entertaining," Scorpius Malfoy smirked. Albus shot him an irritated look. He was feeling too warm about them to accept any possible slants. "Though I am curious how they managed to omit you from public embarrassment and punishment and improve their popularity at the same time. If I didn't know better..."

Well, Albus wasn't a Slytherin for nothing.

It helped that his dad was a softie at heart, and the thought of letting someone shout at Albus whilst knowing how much he hated it would have weighed heavily on his mind.

And if any of the students saw two aurors sneak into the forest several days later, well, they're not telling - are you?

A/N: This went through so many re-writes. First I wrote it where James gets the howler and the whole hall is listening, then it didn't really work out, so I wrote it like you see, and then changed it from James to Albus as an excuse as to why they're sabotaging it. Of course, like usual, anything funny in my mind dies when it gets written, but I eventually finished this and figured I might as well post it.

Tell me what you guys think, please! Good? Bad? I know it's not that funny, in the end... but I still hope you like it.