AN: I'm still clearing my head, so... Angst. Yes. Fun. HAHAHA.
~Love is when you shed a tear and still want him, it's when he ignores you and you still love him, it's when he loves another girl and you still smile and say I'm happy for you, when all you really do is cry.~ Anonymous
"What do you think you're doing, Emily?" Hotch asked quietly, but everything about him-his posture, his tone, his unusually controlled voice- betrayed how emotional he was. Everyone on the team knew what he was hiding from me behind his mask- Anger, betrayal, anything you'd expect from a boss who doesn't realize one of his agents is leaving until she's gone.
"I'm going back to INTERPOL." Emily said firmly, her tone leaving no room for argument. "I'm just not fitting in with my old life here." Hotch only needed to glance at her eyes once to register what she was talking about- a relic from before her 'death' that he had forgotten.
Hotch sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Emily, we discussed this." he said quietly, but he was obviously starting to lose his composure. It took a lot of work and a very personal subject to get the overly-controlled unit chief slipping.
"No, we didn't. " Emily said tightly. "I left after my 'death,' to come back and find you with some girl you met running. Beth, isn't it?" she knew she was pushing buttons, but it was about damn time Aaron saw what he was doing to her everyday since she'd come back, and why she was leaving.
"Yeah." Aaron said quietly. "But leave her out of this. We agreed that there was nothing emotional about it, no strings attached." To some extent he was correct, but mostly, they both knew he wasn't. They had known it was something more than what they were saying it was.
"Oh, so sleeping with you wasn't 'emotional?'" Emily asked angrily. "So cuddling everyday and watching dorky movies isn't 'emotional?' getting in tickle wars and pillow fights in the morning is 'no strings attached?' Having your son ask if I was going to be his new mommy wasn't 'emotional?'" It hurt her to throw out those things that she had kept to herself, protecting them so she had some shred of their old relationship to cling to.
Hotch flinched away from each painfully sweet memory she threw back in his face. "I'm not saying it wasn't " he said tightly, his chest hurting with an ache he hadn't felt since Hayley's death- realization of what he lost. "But we agreed it wouldn't be a relationship, because neither of us could risk being hurt again. That meant we could move on at anytime."
"Anytime you notified the other person, Aaron!" Emily said angrily. "I was in Paris for a year and a half, clinging to old memories and smiles to keep me warm when it was raining, and got soo happy when I could finally come back. And what do I come back to? You dating some girl, without telling me!"