Songs Without Words
by: RoyaleDeuce
Chapter titles are inspired by Mendelssohn's 'Songs without Words' Repertoire. Credits of inspiration for the story would go to Yuki Kure for the fabulous creation which prompted me to play the piano again. I think the dust bunnies that gathered on my upright transformed into plot bunnies – thus, this story exists! This is my first La Corda D'oro story, so if you may, please be kind in your reviews. (:))
Thanks to my wonderful beta cityangelz for making this fic possible! Read on and I hope you enjoy!
:Drama & Rated T:
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Lost Happiness
--Len x Kahoko--
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Life is an enigma.
It is a kaleidoscope that possesses a variation of colors that will always create a pattern no matter how you look at it. It is a fountain that bursts forth with cascades of water that never seems to run out and can quench all thirst. It is a steep hill that can discourage any climber, but can also bring out the best of victors. It is a wheel that rolls unceasingly only until the wheel itself stops on its own. Moreover… it is a puzzle that will always have a missing piece.
…On Tsukimori Len's perspective anyway.
Dwelling on life concepts was not like him. The turn of events with how it actually crossed his mind was rather mind-boggling, though refreshing, to say the least.
Right after the concours, Tsukimori acquired a fondness on being carried away by the beauty of the earth. May it be gazing at the stars at night, enjoying the feel of the ocean breeze, or be allured with the scent of pine trees, he was one with nature. He could afford to spare some moments of his precious practice time to soothe himself if ever the violin only added to his current turbulence at times. And consequently, above all things, it was really the violin with which he gave his most appreciation. But despite the fact that it was the violin that gave him his utmost joy, it also provided him the distress he did not long for.
It confused him greatly…which then leads to his moments of solitude.
He goes by the lake.
Becomes captivated by the painted sky and be entirely loss staring in space.
Feels compelled to play his violin – completely forgetting that it was because of momentary rest from the violin with why he was by the lake, brooding, in the first place.
Moments would deem the violin as the root of his restlessness and turmoil of emotions, but in the end would eventually become what soothes him and brings a tiny smile on his face.
It was a rather messed-up cycle, really.
He becomes contemplative over the matter, with what truly was the point of his life. Why was it that even if he was at the peak of his ability, he still felt as if there was hole that needed to be filled inside of him? A tiny voice saying that there was more to life than the violin? But how could that be so… when life itself was the violin… or so he thought.
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Closing her eyes and a smile gracing her lips, she gently clasped her hands and lifted them near her chest.
It never changed… how she felt when he was one with it.
The fleeting joy and warmth engulfs her with his melody, as if piercing her heart and relaying whatever emotion was put with how it was played. She always seemed to drift into another dimension whenever she hears his music. The melody sounding throughout the lakeside at dusk gave birth into a heartwarming ambience which she could easily choose to stay in forever. It was as if she was carried by the gentle breeze: smooth and soothing… then it suddenly turned intense, as if she was hurled by a ferocious whirlwind.
Her eyes fluttering open at the change in demeanor, she gazed back at Tsukimori in concern, his startlingly becoming dark melody beginning to sound in the depths of her soul. A small gasp escaped her lips at the tableau in front of her. Tsukimori looked every bit a fallen angel with the breeze in rhythm with his increasing tempo, but with the contrastingly heavenly look he rarely wore making him all the more entrancing… refreshing… absolutely perfect…
A blush made its way on her face as she became aware of her thoughts.
Despite the blatant emotions she easily got from him, she knew whatever bothered him was none of her business. She should just leave like the countless times she'd come across him, knowing that she would be shooed off when found anyway and that she'd only be disrupting his 'precious' practice. At least it saved her the trouble of receiving his unbearable cocky and cold remarks. But then again, why did it seem that Tsukimori didn't go to the lakeside that day to practice?
His frustration spoke out loud and clear in his notes.
Still frozen in place by his music, she opted to let him finish before she set out to gamble. Something was obviously bothering him, and from past experiences, she knew better than to brave herself out and enter a land mine. But the complexity of feelings poured onto the piece got to her, urging her that stepping forward was the right thing to do.
But he might get the wrong idea that I'm following him around… she thought to herself. Then blushed as it dawned on her that she was talking to herself and that she was greatly affected with Tsukimori's possible reaction towards her.
The answer to her dilemma came out naturally… in the form of a rain shower.
Without second thoughts, she stepped out of her hiding place behind the bushes, but before doing so, quickly placed her violin case under the oak tree which was probably the farthest she could get in keeping it dry. It amazed her how Tsukimori could remain oblivious to everything while in the 'zone'. She figured that what bothered him was bigger than she thought for actually not minding to get all wet like that.
Won't the violin get damaged like that? she thought with creased eyebrows as she continuously watched Tsukimori play his song without a care in the world… forgetting that she too was getting wet.
After a few more moments of futile waiting, "A-Ano… Tsukimori-kun…" she called out softly.
And then he stopped.
Turned and horrifyingly stared at a blushing Hino.
And then ran for cover.
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Her hands felt so soft and warm against his cold skin, moving up and down as if it was a caress. He would have snapped back something crude, saying that she had no right to intrude and touch him like that, but it was comfortable and the rain just begged to differ. Speaking of the rain… he could not believe he spaced out like that to the point of being oblivious to its first few drops. All he could remember while he was playing was that he needed to create the sound. He wasn't satisfied so he played more and more, searching for the beautiful tune to come out. It may have driven him to so much frustration that everything else was disregarded.
His head snapped up when he felt a gentle touch on the side of his face.
Gold met fellow gold.
She blushed and immediately removed her hand with the towel from his right cheek. "S-S-Sorry!" she sputtered frantically, as if expecting him to bite her head off for daring to lay a finger on him. She clutched the towel in her hand. But he allowed me to touch his biceps… right? Then she came into the conclusion that she probably pushed too far-
Her eyes widened as Tsukimori's hand gradually reached out to her, aiming at the side of her face. Her heart thumped wildly and her mind reeling with what was happening. Closing her eyes while waiting for the light impact on her left cheek, she realized that this was Tsukimori Len we're talking about. He doesn't just go touching and seducing people like that.
And she wasn't disappointed… Okay, maybe a little.
"There was a pointed twig on your hair," he explained impassively while eyeing her queerly. Hino's blush intensified. "It could have been dangerous if the jagged part wounded your finger…" Hino's blush increased a tenfold.
And then she broke the eye contact in embarrassment.
Tsukimori sighed.
There was an uncomfortable silence as the two just watched the incessant raindrops from under the oak tree.
The tree hadn't entirely sheltered them from the shower, so deciding on the best alternative in their present situation, they resorted into using Tsukimori's blazer as protection from the cold and wetness. It made Hino uncomfortable at first, unprepared for his scent that would surely haunt her everyday after the encounter. But Tsukimori gave her one of his coldest stares and in his coldest voice told her to stop being unreasonable. Hino relented eventually. So the two were hunched together with Tsukimori's blazer hugging Hino's body and placed on top of her head. The scarlet-haired girl offered the blazer to be placed on the boy's head too since it was his, but Tsukimori, once again, shut Hino up by saying that it obviously wouldn't fit them. She tried handing it back to the boy saying that he use it (since it was his), but he merely stared at her. With a sigh she obliged and indeed shut up… but before doing so, handed out the pink towel to the boy saying that he should at least cover his head with it. And then she smiled her smile. Tsukimori was mesmerized. Being too caught up with his thoughts, he did not respond, so Hino impulsively started drying him which surprisingly did not cause the boy to stir. So she continued… only until she touched his face and snapped him back to reality.
Hino shifted, causing Tsukimori to glance at her from his peripheral vision.
She grabbed her violin and gently tucked it in between her now stretched-out legs.
Tsukimori raised a curious eyebrow. "You'd have your legs completely wet and numb just to clean your violin..." It wasn't a question.
Hino turned to him briefly before nodding. "At least they're not my hands, right?"
She smiled.
He gazed.
And then she returned to her task.
Tsukimori didn't respond but continued watching Hino lovingly wipe her violin case. He glanced at his own violin which was safely placed behind him. He was well aware that it was wet, but he made sure that it won't be completely soaked like him. At the thought, he was led back to ponder about what had bothered him since a while ago. Where can I find the missing piece?
"The violin is life, don't you think?"
Hino stopped from what she was doing. Slowly, she turned to Tsukimori whose face was only a breath away from hers. She blushed, but she did not look away in curiosity of the sudden question.
There was a contemplative silence.
"I cannot deny that the violin is something I cannot live without…but it isn't entirely my life," she replied softly. "It may appear like that to you because of the experience of being able to play it so well… but you must be aware that there is more to life than just the violin."
Surprised at her answer, Tsukimori turned to look at her, only to have his lips in contact with hers for the briefest second. The two pulled away suddenly and avoided each other's gaze. Hino looked like a tomato as Tsukimori's wet bangs hid his face.
There was another silence. Only this time, it was deafening. Even louder than the rain.
Be still, my beating heart… Hino told herself. But despite the awkwardness, she felt rather euphoric for some unexplainable reasons. Perhaps, the answer to her confusion will come out… naturally.
"Then what is it?"
Hino turned to Tsukimori, this time careful not to have her face very near his. She was actually surprised at his courage of uttering words moments just after their accident. Was he that heartless of a man to be impassive of what recently transpired? It was a heavenly feeling… that brief kiss. That one kiss. That first kiss that may fairly be the last. But looking at Tsukimori's expression, he seemed to be having an internal struggle and turmoil of emotions that was brought about with that one question she was supposed to answer.
How should I know? Heaving a sigh, "What do you mean by, 'what is it?', Tsukimori-kun?" she asked in a whisper.
Tsukimori's eyes were in a daze. "Why is it that as I consider the violin as my life… I still am not filled… as if there's a missing piece that still needs to be found for me to be complete… Isn't it that music is the one that provides me the ideal joy?" he asked confused. Glancing at Hino, he suddenly became embarrassed that she was staring at him as if he just sprouted another head. Then he realized he had said too much. "I'm sorry-"
"I believe the answer is in here…" Hino interjected gently, her hand atop of her heart. Slowly lifting her head up, she smiled at a stunned Tsukimori.
"In… here?" he asked unsurely while resting his hand on his own chest.
And then there was silence for the third time. Gold met fellow gold for the second.
The rain appeared to be forgotten as the two remained locked in each others' gazes, seemingly having a world of their own. Then it was Hino who made the first few signs of movement. Opening her violin case, she got the instrument and positioned herself.
"This may help…" were her last few words before she played.
Thrown to another realm, emotions he had never known flooded inside of him. It clutched his heart, coaxing it to respond and to understand. But with that one song, he did understand.
As soon as she dropped her hands with the violin on her lap, he kissed her. He kissed her as if there was no tomorrow, all confusion gone and comprehension whirling around his heart and head. He kissed her because he felt it. He kissed her because he understood.
And then they had to cease for air.
Hino looked flustered, her lips kiss-swollen. She had no courage to look into his eyes. Those eyes that finally realized what she had kept for so long… those eyes that would never see her in the same light again. Because she said it. Rather she played it.
"Shall we?"
Breaking free from her thoughts, Tsukimori with his violin position gazed at her softly, a ghost of a smile on his lips. She was transfixed at his beauty when he smiled. Perhaps he had really found it.
She smiled back.
And then the two played, uncaring of the world around them.
It was then that she too, understood. She herself found it. The true happiness. The thing that could only be brought out by the heart.
A smile never left both their faces as they played to their hearts' content. They played until even the sun smiled for them too.
They were happy… and she played for him, just as he played for her.
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I am officially freaked out. Seriously. Reading what I just made, I never realized I was that deep and crappily- ah I mean, sappily romantic. Honestly, I wanted you guys to feel what it could have felt while the violin was played (like what you feel when listening to the music in the series) so that explains the chunks of seemingly unnecessary detail. Okay? Anyway… how was it? Was it bad? Good? Does it have potential? Please review! Comments/ Suggestions/ Constructive Criticisms are welcomed and highly appreciated!
Postscript: First time I uploaded this, chapter title was: True Happiness. But when I checked my music sheets, Mendelssohn's piece was entitled 'Lost Happiness'. Gah! I figured it's alright to change the chap title since Tsukimori did search for his happiness. XD Since obviously, it was lost. Haha.
Up next: Keiichi x Kahoko (:))