This story is mine. Really, all mine. Well, all the characters belong to Marvel, but please don't sue me, it wouldn't be worth it. Thanks to Luba, too, for all her help and encouragement!
Behind closed doorsJean opened the door to the Professor's office, and stood back to wave Logan to precede her in. As she followed him in and shut the door behind her, she couldn't help but feel that she was still a student, sneaking into the office. But the Professor would have never countenanced what happened next, inside his office or out of it.
She'd no sooner released the door knob when she felt Logan's arms around her. Turning toward him, they kissed passionately, their bodies pressed close together with an almost desperate intensity. Finally pulling apart, he asked her, "Does anyone suspect?"
"No one."
"Jeannie, I wish…"
"Me too. If only I'd left him before. But I loved Scott, too, Logan. God knows, we had our problems, and it would never have lasted forever – I knew that years ago – but I did love him. I didn't want to hurt him."
"I know," Logan said gruffly.
"If we'd gotten together after Genosha, it wouldn't have mattered. I think everyone half expected us to. But Scott gave up everything for me, Logan; a wife, a child…I couldn't turn my back on him then. And I did love him."
"But now – it would tear the X-Men apart if they knew the truth. Scott's gained something in death he never had in life, Logan. He's – he's like a martyr to the cause. Somehow, he's transcended simple humanity and become a symbol. I've been cast as the grieving widow, even though things had begun to downslide with us even before we left Alaska to come back to the X-Men. I'm not sure they could ever accept us."
"They won't have to," Logan said, pulling away from her, and reaching out to wipe tears from her face she didn't even realize were there. "We won't have to hide it much longer."
"What do you mean?" Jean asked hesitantly. She had something to share with Logan, something she wouldn't be able to hide much longer, but she wasn't sure she could go through with it. "Did you get in touch with anyone from the Weapon X program?"
Logan frowned. "Yeah. The prognosis is bleak; I'm not gonna kid you. No one but no one survived adamantium poisoning without a healing factor."
"Sabertooth?"
"Dead. Saw the body myself – they had it in storage up there. I'm holding my own just now, but they don't think I've got much longer."
"Oh, Logan…" Jean said, pulling him close and crying into his shoulder. She felt suddenly as if this was Genosha all over again, but the stakes were even higher this time.
"Hey, love, it happens to everyone," he said, stroking her hair. "At least we had some time together. That's more than I dreamed I'd ever have in life."
She cried a little more, then, as he continued to stroke her hair, thinking about how unfair it was that she should be given two loves in her life, only to lose them both so close together. Finally, she pulled away, and ran her hand across her eyes.
"We do need to talk, though," he continued, obviously switching mental gears. "Things being what they are, I made a few arrangements you should know about, and I need to ask you a couple of favors."
"Arrangements?" Jean asked, confused. "What kind of arrangements?" This conversation was turning in a different direction from that she'd expected, and she wasn't sure how to turn it back, or if she even wanted to. Maybe it would be better if he just didn't know…
"For Kitty and Jubilee. I want to make sure my girls are taken care of." Jean flinched inwardly.
"I've put something aside for you, of course. That goes without saying. If things don't work out here, you won't have to worry."
"I, uh, I don't know what to say," she mumbled, but he was still talking.
Kitty'll have college to pay for, and I don't want her to have to worry about how to pay the bills. Jubilee – well, whatever she decides to do with her life, she'll have what it takes to get her started."
"Have you seen her, since…" Jean asked hesitantly.
"Stopped to see her before I came back here," Logan replied. "She's doin' ok. Acting, if you can believe it. She's pretty good," he said proudly. "Doing some modeling, too."
"I knew that, she sent me a copy of some teen magazine," Jean commented. "I could hardly believe it was her on the cover – it seems just yesterday we met, but she's grown into quite a beautiful young woman."
"Yeah, she sure did," Logan said. "She's still living with Angelo – roommates, they say, and I didn't see no sign to suggest they aren't. I hope that's all; he's a good kid, but she's still pretty young. He's workin' at some burger place – at least he's keeping her grounded. I'd hate to see instant stardom go to her head."
"How is she coping with your…condition?"
"Well, she gave me a good lecture on taking care of myself, and threatened not to ever talk to me again if I didn't." Logan grinned, remembering, and Jean could almost picture Jubilee saying just that. "She wanted to come back and be with me, but I wouldn't let her. She's got her own life, and that's how it should be."
"I worry about her, though. I mean, she's still young, and she doesn't have Kitty's smarts. I always know my Cat will land on her feet; I'm not so sure about Jubilee," he added, shaking his head. "That's why I set up the trust fund the way I did; no lump sum unless you approve it, but enough to live on for the rest of her life, if she needs to. I hope she won't; no one should spend they're whole life dependent on someone else's money. But just in case…"
"What do you mean, unless I approve it?" Jean questioned, puzzled. Logan's comment about being dependent on someone else's money stung, though she knew he wasn't referring to her. Still…
"Well, that's the first favor I need to ask. I know it's kinda awkard, and I hope you don't mind, Jeannie, but I didn't know who else. You've got the smarts to know a good investment if you see one. Say she wants to start up a business, and she's got a plan that should work. That's what the lump sum option is for. I did the same for Kit, but she don't need your approval."
"Speaking of Kitty," Jean started, thinking she should let him know about Kitty and Bobby before he found out from someone else, but he had already continued.
"I was proud of her today," Logan mused. "Caught nearly all of it from the hallway – I didn't want to come in and interrupt. She didn't make no excuses, just presented the facts, admitted she'd made a mistake, and let everyone know she'd fix it."
"I felt sorry for her," Jean said. "She's so young to have so much responsibility. Maybe Warren was right, and we expected too much of her. We should have brought someone in, I guess, but we really didn't have the money, and I was concerned about security. Moira vouched for her, said she'd worked on the Muir Island systems."
"She worked on the ones here for Chuck, too. But you're wrong, Jean – Kit's got a good head on her shoulders. If it was too much for her, she'd let you know."
"Maybe," Jean said uncertainly. She'd never doubted Kitty before, but some of Warren's comments had rung true; if she was as good as Moira portrayed her to be, why hadn't she caught this sooner? She'd known Warren a long time, and tended to trust his judgment; if he had doubts about Kitty's ability, maybe she should take them seriously.
"I'll tell you what else I was proud of – the way she stood up for Drake out there. I know he's a joker, but no one should be talked to like that, especially not by their friends. You should know that, Red."
"Of course, you're right," Jean said. "It's just, well, I worry about Bobby like you worry about Jubilee. He's an overgrown kid. It's hard to take him seriously."
"The difference is, Red, he's not a kid. He's over 21. He's been with the spandex brigade for years, but took a degree at the same time. Not many do that, and you know it. He's got his own business. Doing pretty well at it, from what I've heard."
"Keeping track, are you?" Jean asked, growing increasingly annoyed. "Maybe I should check with you for gossip more often."
"Word gets around," Logan said defensively. "He's been doing some work for one of my old buds, who I ran into at LL&L. Says he knows his stuff."
"It's hard to imagine," Jean said, shaking her head. "I still picture him as a snowman with boots half the time, and he still acts exactly like he did then. But anyway, while we're on the subject of Bobby, I've got some gossip for you," Jean said, sitting down at the Professor's desk and crossing her arms in front of her chest. She didn't like the direction this discussion had been leading. Granted, Warren had come on a bit strong, and she'd talk to him later about it, but she could understand his side, too. One simply did not trust Bobby with something like a computer system, not if they wanted it intact at the end. If she hadn't known he was motivated by his attraction for Kitty, she'd have never agreed to letting him near it. As it was, she was sure he'd be focused on his partner, and leave the system alone. It might be harder on Kitty, she mused, but surely he'd get bored and leave soon enough.
"Gossip, Jeannie? Don'tcha got nothing better to do?" he joked feebily.
"Well, as long as we're on the subject of Bobby – did you know he's interested in Kitty?"
Logan did a double take, then began laughing. "So that's it!" he said. "I take it she's reciprocating his interest?"
Jean looked at him with exasperation. "What's it?" she asked. "And why do you say that?"
Logan stopped laughing and looked at her seriously. "Jeannie, I hate to say this, but I think you were too dependent on your telepathy. You never got used to reading people without reading their thoughts."
"Now, me, I let my enhanced senses clue me in, but I also make a habit of studying people. Kept me alive more than once. While I'm still defending Drake, it's not like him to volunteer for something like that in public. After the meeting, maybe, especially if Hank were working on it, but he doesn't speak up much. With cause, obviously," he added, and held up a hand as Jean opened her mouth to object.
"So here's Drake, volunteering in an open meeting, and not crawling under the table when everyone starts jumping on him. Kit backs him up without a second thought. I said before, I was proud of her for that, and I am. But given that Warren'd been at her, too, no one would have blamed her if she'd thrown in the towel, or took the easy way out and let Hank help. Instead, she accepts Drake's offer."
"So you think she accepted because she's interested in him too?" Jean asked impatiently. Logan's comments rankled. He was probably right about her being too dependent on her telepathy – damn the man, he usually was right – but she wasn't sure if she should trust his analysis of the situation, either. She still knew Bobby better than he did, and she knew Logan had a blind spot where Kitty was concerned.
But part of what he was saying made sense. If Kitty was making her decision based on a crush on Bobby, it explained a lot. Maybe she'd just had her head turned by the male attention; it didn't seem as if she got a lot of it. And then, too, if she was interested in Bobby, she obviously wasn't as mature as Jean had thought…
In the meantime, though, she was getting thoroughly sick of hearing about Kitty. And Bobby. And the computer systems, and her alleged poor judgment, and anything else that didn't relate to the issue at hand, even though she still hadn't had an opportunity to tell him what that was.
"No, that's not it, either. Well, maybe part of it, but if she didn't think he'd be a help, she'd have turned him down gently. She's too much a perfectionist with her work to let someone get their hands in who she didn't think was competent. But Kit's a good judge of character. She's obviously seeing something in Bobby that we don't."
"Oh, like she saw something in that Black Air agent she was seeing at Muir?" Jean replied sharply. Given that he'd just insulted her judgment, hearing him praise Kitty's really rankled.
"Don't even start with me on that one, Red," Logan growled. "I know you and Scott didn't approve, but I knew Pete Wisdom. She read him right, he was on the side of the angels. Just because he didn't kowtow to the powers that be doesn't mean his heart wasn't in the right place. She was right about him, and it was a shame things didn't work out between them, but it happens."
"No, I'll put my trust in Kit," he continued. "Both about the computer systems, and about Drake. If she's interested in him, that's fine. Hell," he added, "she could sure use a little laughter in her life."
"Anyway, that's it," he concluded. "That takes care of all my girls…"
"Not all," she said. There wouldn't be a better opportunity than this, she knew, and if it wasn't quite how she had envisioned telling him, well, that was his fault, not hers.
"What do you mean, Jeannie?" Logan asked, confused. He walked around the desk to put his hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off, and looked him in the eyes.
"I'm pregnant."