Hi -- I know, I know, "what happened to We Get Along, you bitch!" I got really caught up with school for a while and when I finally had more time, I just felt like I was sort of "done" with that story. I promise I will finish this, though! I swear! I love CB too much not to. Basically, it's a fic written to the song "Samson" by Regina Spektor, and each part of the story will be centered around a chunk of the song. If I've done my math right, it should be 6-part, so now that I know I'm writing to a goal, I'll be a bit more determined in getting it done. :) Thanks to everyone who reviewed We Get Along, please please review this one, because clearly, if no one is interested, I will be abandoning ship, ha. Also, if you don't already know the song, please please download it -- not because it's a neccessary prerequisite to enjoying the fic, but because it is an absolutely GORGEOUS song. Also, April 21... IT'S GETTING CLOSE.
You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go, I have to go
Your hair was long when we first met
"Waldorf… looking hot as usual, I see. I'd even let you be a Bunny tonight."
"Chuck!" Blair blushed. She adjusted her knee-length black dress self-consciously, all the while rolling her eyes at Chuck's compliment, feigning annoyance to draw attention away from the flamingo-pink that tinged her cheeks. She had to admit, though, it was reassuring to receive a compliment on her appearance – even if it was from Chuck Bass, clad in a dark red silk robe in true Hugh Hefner fashion. She was in seventh grade and attending her first big high school party (Carter Baizen's annual Halloween bash, always said to be epic), so she was naturally nervous. It didn't help that she was going through a characteristic rough patch with Nate, who hadn't stopped following Serena around all night. Somehow, she couldn't tear her eyes away from the sight: Nate, dressed as a ninja (which, for Nate, meant just a black t-shirt, black jeans, and a stupid-looking mask, but of course, he still looked like a Greek god), chasing Serena, who chose to attend the party as Felicity Shagwell from Austin Powers. Staring at Serena, and all her glory, made Blair feel too clothed, too short-limbed, too brunette, too serious, too… Blair. Both Serena and Nate were wasted already. Of course. They were positively giddy. And here Blair was, sober and melancholy, with only her boyfriend's best friend for company. Great.
"I need a drink."
"Why, Blair Waldorf," the smirking dark-haired boy chuckled at her. "I never thought you to be the type…"
"Shut it, Chuck. Just… please tell me where the alcohol is. Thank you so much." Her last words of "gratitude" were full of venom, and even Chuck, who never seemed to be intimidated by anything or anyone, wiped the Cheshire Cat smile off of his face immediately. He motioned for her to follow him, and led her through room after room of trashed, horny teens, all either making out or attempting to. Finally, they got to the Baizen kitchen. He commandeered a bottle of scotch from a boy who had passed out on the floor, and as he looked at Blair, it was clear how lightweight he thought she'd be.
"I can handle it, I promise," Blair pleaded. Chuck cocked an eyebrow at her, more than a little disbelievingly, but he picked up a bottle of vodka for her.
"Whatever you say, princess," He couldn't help mocking her a bit; it was in his nature, after all. Blair had already begun downing the bottle, not even bothering to pour it into a glass. "Care to tell me why you're suddenly so thirsty, when you usually don't deign to drink with any of us?"
"No, I don't, actually. Jesus… is it always so loud at these parties?" Chuck couldn't help laughing at her… she was always so proper. This, of course, made her indignant. "I'm going to go sit outside. Good night, Chuck."
"You're going to sit outside by yourself, getting shitfaced with your bottle of vodka? Jesus, Blair, why don't you just wear a giant 'RAPE ME' sign on your back?" Blair opened her mouth to make a rebuttal, but even she had to admit that he was right. Serena had been to many more high school parties than she had, and each time, she had some horror story about a guy accosting her. Chuck stared into the huge, puppy eyes she was making at him, and finally gave a sigh of defeat. "Fine. I'll go with you."
They sat on the balcony in silence for a while. He slowly sipped his scotch, and watched her alternate between gulping down her drink and staring at the floor.
"Audrey, right?"
"What?" She looked up suddenly, not expecting him to try to make conversation.
"Your costume. You're supposed to be Audrey Hepburn?"
"Right. Yes. But not really Audrey, Holly Golightly. It's different."
"Oh... I beg your pardon, Miss Golightly." He laughed at how adamant she was in her statement, but stopped when he saw that she was clearly not a "fun drunk." She was still staring inside, hoping to catch a glimpse of Nate and Serena. He knew she was insecure about her looks whenever Serena was around, so he figured he'd try and make it better, if only because when she was upset, her banter was thrown completely off. "I meant what I said earlier, just so you know. You do look really good, Blair."
"Not as good as if I were tall and blonde and wearing shorts that show my ASS TO EVERYONE HERE," Blair shouted into the party, as if Serena could hear her, and as if, even if she could, she would care. She slumped back against the wall. Her head was pounding, and she couldn't really feel her mouth anymore. It figured. She tried to drink to be giddy and luminescent like Serena was when she drank, but she just felt heavier and more melancholy than she did sober. She remembered suddenly that she hadn't thanked Chuck for his compliment. "But thanks… really." She had intended to glance up at him, but she found her eyes lingering there. Why was he being so sweet? Why was he staying out here with her, when he surely had come to the party desiring to get with some hot high-schoolers? And most importantly, why hadn't she noticed how handsome he looked tonight?
"That's what this has been about? Nate and Serena? He'll come to his senses, you know he will."
"That's not what he sees it as… it's like… Serena is like… this untouchable goddess to him and I'm just like…" Blair struggled to find words as the alcohol played with her head.
"An obligation?"
"Yeah. I don't know. It's stupid. Just like, we've been together forever… but I don't even know that I love him… did you ever feel like maybe… you tell yourself you really have feelings for someone because it's… I don't know… convenient? But you don't really?"
"I guess." He sipped his scotch, thoroughly entertained by Blair's drunken ruminations on life.
"And that you've liked someone else for… a while?" Blair was inching closer and closer to him, all the while staring up at him. What was she doing? What the hell was she doing?
"Blair…?"
And then she kissed him. She didn't know why. She had stopped thinking through her words and actions a long time ago. She placed her small hand on his cheek, pushing herself closer to him. Chuck instinctively kissed her back, but upon realizing what was happening, he pulled away.
"Wh… why did you do that?"
"I don't know… um... s-sorry… I'm… I should… I have to find Nate."
"Blair –"
"I'm sorry. I have to go."
And with that, she put back on her tortoiseshell Wayfarers and left in a blur of black. He stared after her as she left, still able to taste her lip-gloss on his lips, still in complete disbelief of what had just happened, and in more disbelief at the fact that he kind of… liked it. She said something under breath, but he couldn't hear it.
Blair hadn't intended for him to hear it. What she said, though, was, "I did it because it's you."
She was back with Nate the next day.