This story was inspired by Lana Del Rey's "Ride". I think I like it how it is, but if you'd like me to continue it… Review. Tell me what you want.
I do not own anything. Obvs.
"Look at you…" Billy Darley choked at his murderer in the minutes he almost knew were going to be his last. "You look like one of us." And it was true: through the blood that gushed from his wounds, the man that Billy Darley knew had killed his brother was nearly a mirror image of the corruption and heartbreak and tragedy that had driven Billy to be what he was, whatever that might have been.
The man whose family Billy had killed took out a gun that was sure to be loaded. The man cocked it. "Ready?"
Billy sighed and looked at the man. "She was right," he smiled at the irony. "I got everything I ever thought I wanted even though I wasn't really happy. But now you took it from me," Billy said and the man looked confused. "And now I'm free."
Then Billy told the man about her and the man listened. It made him decide to leave Billy there, so he could spend the last moments he had thinking about her.
. . .
In his dying moments – whenever they may have been – Billy knew that he would think of her. How she had smooth skin that he almost didn't believe; how her voice was full of a rasped timbre that was beautiful; how she smelled like the smoke that whirled off of a bonfire; how she was everything and everyone that a man like him – even if it wasn't him in particular – would need.
She fell into his life when it was stagnant, when it was going nowhere even though at the time he thought it would. But that was what she did – create waves in a still ocean. It was almost fucking poetic. And the funny thing was that she wanted that even though she thought she didn't have it to begin with.
When she entered the Four Roses bar, she stopped the heart of every bastard in the place. It wasn't because of her looks though they might have been tempting if it hadn't been for the true reason that she stopped the clocks in Boston: she reminded them of every woman they should have saved, protected from the hard and cold world. Whether it was their mother, sister, daughter, or lover, they all were reminded. Billy could see it in their eyes though at the time he had ignored it.
Except for those for whom it was too late to save anyone of significance. Billy's mother was six feet below saving.
She half-swayed, half-tripped into the bar. She was alone and high as fuck – Billy knew how that should have made him feel; he should have only taken in the stark details about her – the full lips, the dark strawberry blonde hair, the tight ass and fucking beautiful body. But he saw everything: the full lips that were pale and soft-looking, the wily locks that tumbled down her back not for fashion but because she had no time or care to cut it, the sun glazed skin that shined and glowed from disregard, the bruised, scraped knees, the small scratches that were from rolling down hills just because. He saw everything.
But still he tried to ignore her and she didn't even notice him.
At first, she sat down at the bar and ordered a cheap beer which she paid for with some crumpled bills. She talked to the bartender who asked her if she was lost. She was. She spoke her fellow patrons in her rasped voice, employed towards sincere warmness and strung-out laughs. He couldn't make out any words but it was obvious she had no clue about where she was, she was that high. He tried to look past her but he buckled so easily.
He nudged Heco and subtly gestured towards the girl. Heco loudly whistled to get her attention, the man succeeding – rewarded with the girl's haunting gaze as she turned her head. Those piercing honey brown eyes looked into Billy before hitting up every man sulking in his corner. With a coy grin she slowly proceeded to raise her hands to cover her eyes, then her mouth, and finally her ears – she would hear no evil.
After another (more forceful) nudge from Billy, Heco begrudgingly rose to fetch her. Joe mumbled to himself, "Come on… just leave her alone," but his words fell upon deaf ears.
By the time Heco reached the girl, she had already returned to regaling the rest of the bar. Snaking an arm around her waist, he whispered in her ear. Billy never knew just was he said to her that made her slowly rise from her seat at the bar.
She wore a cropped velvet top in deep blue that was frayed at the hem which she had made with a pair of cheap scissors; her denim shorts were distressed from use; her kutte jacket was turned inside out; her boots were streaked with dried mud. There was something a bit majestic about it if not haphazard about it all.
"Hey, baby," Billy called out as she walked over to them, steadied by Heco.
The first words Billy heard from her were not to him, but rather to his kid brother – this would always cause a sudden flush of jealously whenever he thought about it.
"What's a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?" Joe smirked in an attempt to get in on the action even though he didn't truly approve of it. The girl took her time answering as she leaned against the table and took out a cigarette, as if she didn't hear him before.
A hazy smile dressed her face as she turned her head towards Joe. "Waiting," she answered in that raspy soft voice that he would get used to hearing in his dreams.
"What're you waitin' for, babe?" Billy asked, trying to get her attention focused on him.
"I don't know just yet," she said, her words echoing against logic. Although she smiled that vague, dumb smile, there was something sad but sage in her voice. Before Billy or any of his gang could say another cliché word, she continued with a dopey grin and a puff of smoke. "Do you all have names to go with those faces or just words? Or can I just go back to my friends over there?"
"Those low-lives are hardly worthy of your friendship, sweetheart," Bodie reached over and nudged her beneath her chin.
"But we are," Joe said as smoothly as he could. "And I do have a name to go with this pretty face: Joe. Joe Darley. And this is my brother," Joe nodded suavely at Billy who remained stoic, observing her. "Billy Darley."
"Rings a bell," she took another drag from her cigarette and lay back onto the table. Her hair feathered out onto the table and she turned her head towards Billy. Shit, she was higher than a fucking kite. "Rings like a fucking warning bell."
Billy put his elbows on the table and clasped his hands together as he leaned towards her with a sick grin on his face; she was beautiful and toked witless – she should be wary of him. "Did your daddy warn you 'bout me?"
"I don't have a daddy, Sharp," she grinned a bit sadly, "'But if I still did, he wouldn't warn me about men like you: he was a man like you," she reached over and traced his jaw lightly. This took him by surprise; no touch he had received from another human being was ever soft or light. But he didn't even flinch. There was something foreign about her – unsettling and intoxication. And he liked it. And he always got what he liked when it came to pieces of tail like that. She continued, "But… I think that he'd know that no amount of warning could keep me away from anything if I had a mind for it," she purred. "I'm like Icarus in that way – in one way. But I don't plan on falling. You dig?" She pulled her hand away from his jawline and ran her fingers through her hair, her eyes drooping closed.
"Man," Heco whistled lowly. "She's strung out, dog." He was under the impression that she had passed out. Looking devilishly to his comrades, he started to creep his hand toward her shirt.
Billy had a mind to stop him, but before he could, the young woman rose like a fucking ghost, lightly and eerily. She turned towards the table. She opened her eyes to stare at them – not coldly, not callously, but with a humor that hurt more. "Remind me why you're more worthy of my friendship than them?" she asked simply and gestured towards the men back at the bar. They were all watching now, the hungry audience to their hunt; they took pleasure at their failure.
Billy Darley and Company had no smart-ass answers for her – not to the woman that had something special about her, something that hung in the air around her and made everyone think about being better even though they would never act on that thought.
"Do you…" the young woman bit her bottom lip and swayed a bit. She looked like she was trying to remember what she was about to say but had forgotten. "Do you…" she continued, "Know where a phone is… Billy. Darley." She laughed like his name was funny – and that made him angry. But he also liked how it sounded when she said it.
"Down that hallway, baby," Bodie answered. The girl smiled dreamily and swayed towards him. Leaning down, she kissed his cheek softly and thanked him quietly. Bodie froze and she walked away. "Man," Bodie looked dazed by that angelic proximity and rubbed his temples. "That girl's head is on another planet."
"And her ass is out of this world," Joe snickered crudely. Billy could tell that his younger brother just wanted to be one of the gang, as it were. It wasn't him – Billy knew that Joe wasn't made for this world. But then again, neither was he.
Billy waited for her to emerge from the shady hallway; he would lean on her then – he assumed that she had gone into the hallway to light up and call her dealer. Yet perhaps, he decided, it would be better to corner her there. He got up and the others jeered and catcalled – they knew what to expect. But when he reached the mouth of the hall and saw her leaning on the wall with the phone in both her hands and her eyes closed her took pause. She was smiling and snickering at the voice on the other end as she turned to face the wall, wrapping the cord about her waist by accident and putting her forehead against the wall.
"I dunno, sugar-sugar," she smiled at the ground and tapped the plastic of the phone with her fingers, making a beat. "But I'm already the coolest," she replied vaguely to a voice not heard by Billy. "No… What did you tell me to do again when…?" she asked, giggling at the voice as if she was mocking its seriousness. "Okay, I will stay on the… Sure…" she looked like she was getting tired and she rolled over so her back was against the wall again. Closing her eyes, the girl breathed deeply and prepared to fulfill the voice's request. Billy didn't know what to say or do so he just stalked toward the girl and listened as she sang to the other end of the phone. "I think I'll miss you forever… Like the stars miss the sun in the morning sky… Later's better than never… Even if you're gone I'm gonna drive. Drive. Drive," her brows furrowed but she kept her eyes closed. It looked like she was trying to remember the rest of the song but couldn't. Billy got closer.
As he put one hand on either side of her hips, she opened her eyes dreamily again and said, "Sorry… Sorry… There's someone here… Bye," she hummed at the phone before she dropped it, not able to be bothered to actually hang it up. She smiled again, but this time it was sadder, melancholic. Soft hands ran up Billy's tee-shirt – they made him shiver as they wrapped themselves around his neck. The kiss she gave him was hungrier than Billy thought it would be, but it still lent itself to a sweetness that made him feel warm. She felt soft in his arms, like he was responsible for keeping her safe there, even if it was for just this moment. He smelled the smoke and felt her smooth skin and it was as if there wasn't anything else to do at the moment except for taste her, keep her. And just for that night, Billy thought she could keep him if she wanted to.
When she pulled away from him he missed it. She kissed him softly this time, on the jaw, and then she slowly, drunkenly danced down to the end of the hallway, to the door that led to the dark parking lot outside.
She tripped down the stairs and wavered in the middle of the lot – Billy watched as she looked up to the sky; he had seen people do this before who were just as high. They looked up at the night sky with a sense of wonder and amazement, like the whole fucking world was so great. But she looked at the sky with that same sad look he had seen flicker through her joyful expressions before.
"What's wrong, baby?" he called from the stairs. She turned to him and smiled sadly, pointing at the sky and spinning slowly with outstretched arms before stopping to look at him again:
"There's light pollution… There's no stars," she said sadly. Billy walked forward until he reached her, until he could reach out to her and brush his rough-skinned thumb across her cheek. She reached up and held his wrist. "You don't know me… But that's never stopped me before."
"That's good," he said thickly. He didn't know what to say to her; she made his mouth dry and full of cotton like the girls he had loved in high school and had driven away with his anger and his resentment towards his father.
"I like my boys rough," she leaned forward and kissed his collarbone lightly and putting her hands on his face. "But I'm not a little girl anymore… And I have nothing to lose or gain. But I want to make my life an art… and the men who keep me safe are rough in different ways… But not rough to the point where their freedom," she looked into his eyes, "is lost. You're not free, baby. You haven't lost it all yet. You need to be broken down 'til all that's left…" she traced her finger down his torso and curled her hand into a fist and beat it gently against the center of his chest. "Is this."
Billy was stunned by what she said. And angered. And confused. But that didn't keep him from kissing her one more time before she disappeared into the world, where he hoped she found the stars she had been looking for.
She would come back every couple of months – his life was like the shoreline on a beach; the ocean would be on its way out as soon as it came in. She was his ocean: indecisive, wavering, expansive. She was never as high as she was on that first night though she still had that airy, sweet quality that left most after a few hours. The young woman told them of life on the road, the men she had met, the stories she had to tell – it was always something to look forward to. But she was always just out of reach and always seemed to have a guard up when it came to him. But after two years of visits, she just stopped. Disappeared.
And it broke his heart.
. . .
"Look at you…" Billy Darley choked at his murderer in the minutes he almost knew were going to be his last. "You look like one of us." And it was true: through the blood that gushed from his wounds, the man that Billy Darley knew had killed his brother was nearly a mirror image of the corruption and heartbreak and tragedy that had driven Billy to be what he was, whatever that might have been.
The man whose family Billy had killed took out a gun that was sure to be loaded. The man cocked it. "Ready?"
Billy sighed and looked at the man. "She was right," he smiled at the irony. "I got everything I ever thought I wanted even though I wasn't really happy. But now you took it from me," Billy said and the man looked confused. "And now I'm free."
Then Billy told the man about her and the man listened. It made him decide to leave Billy there, so he could spend the last moments he had thinking about her. As he lay down on the pew in that still chapel and his eyes started to blur, he saw her. She kneeled down over him and kissed him on the head. "Is this a dream?" he mumbled, blood dribbling down his cheek.
"Not for long," she answered.
And then all went dark and rose-colored and he heard her singing to him softly as she held him in her arms.
"I've been out on that open road Don't break me down I hear the birds on the summer breeze, I drive fast Dying young and I'm playing hard Don't leave me now I hear the birds on the summer breeze, I drive fast I'm tired of feeling like I'm fucking crazy I hear the birds on the summer breeze, I drive fast
You can be my full time, daddy
White and gold
Singing blues has been getting old
You can be my full time, baby
Hot or cold
I've been travelin' too long
I've been trying too hard
With one pretty song
I am alone in the night
Been tryin' hard not to get into trouble, but I
I've got a war in my mind
So, I just ride
Just ride, I just ride, I just ride
That's the way my father made his life an art
Drink all day and we talk 'til dark
That's the way the road doves do it, ride 'til dark.
Don't say good bye
Don't turn around
Leave me high and dry
I am alone in the night
Been tryin' hard not to get in trouble, but I
I've got a war in my mind
I just ride
Just ride, I just ride, I just ride
I'm tired of driving 'till I see stars in my eyes
I look up to hear myself saying,
Baby, too much I strive, I just ride
I am alone in the night
Been tryin' hard not to get in trouble, but I
I've got a war in my mind
I just ride
Just ride, I just ride, I just ride…
Review, babes. Tell me what you think.