Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
A.N: this is an Everlark story but it'll take a while to get there.
Relationships that go in this story are, Peeta/Katniss, Peeta/O.C., Gale/Johanna for a small part, Finnick/Annie (Yes he lives) Prim/Rory(again she lives to, badly hurt though).
Chapter 1.
Home isn't here.
Peeta's POV.
District 12, well what remains of it, very little. Walking around the old section that used to belong to the merchants I notice all was destroyed, nothing but rubble left, Snow wanted to make sure he got everyone, and he pretty much did.
Some parts of the merchant quarter have been cleared, new buildings outlined, sum under construction, others already standing. A few occupied
, a general store, large enough that I can clearly see more than one stall in the shop. My mind wanders back to the old 12, the hob its all I think when seeing the store. Next there is a butchers, a blacksmiths and a carpenter, the standard building for a new district, trying to get back onto it's feet.
I don't know who long I spend taking in the new 12 but eventually I stand in the place where my childhood was last left, the bakery.
Rubble doesn't even describe it, there's nothing just a hole. By the looks of it this place was purposefully targeted, snow probably wanted to break me, he did. However the war is over, we won and me well I'm better. It was foolish of us, of me to think that something engineered by the capital, that they wouldn't have a cure for it. An anti-hijack venom, all that was needed was to inject me with double the amount use by the capital, easy they may have been horrible, despicable people but they did keep good records. Then it was the simple process of showing me the games, the real ones again documented really well to me while the anti-venom worked its way through me.
4 months, that's how long l haven't seen Katniss for. The execution of Coin.
She knew, I knew hell everyone new that it was her that ordered Katniss' mum and Prim onto the battle field, that she stole the plans from Beete and gale and used them against her, trying to kill all members of the Everdeen family. She only succeeded in kill their mum, she gave her life to save Primrose, covering her body with her own, taking the force of the explosion and most of the fire. Prim, while still badly burnt along with Katniss, myself, Gale and a few others from the star squad where still alive. It destroyed Katniss, who had just got her real mother back, not the shell. She had started to repair the relationship between them, a mother is god in the eye's of their child after all and Katniss had started to remember that only to lose her to someone who we should have been able to trust.
I aimlessly walk towards victors-village, a small duffel bag slung over my shoulder. I know that, from the doc talking to me there are more than just Haymitch and Katniss here. Prim obviously but also Gale and Johanna, who have started a relationship my heart sores at that, Finnick and Annie are here as well, though for how long is still undetermined. None of them know that I'm back, nor that I was coming back I'm not sure how they'll take it.
Standing in the middle of victors-village I look around, nothings changed well apart from the most of the houses being occupied. I notice that Katniss' is lit up and even from here I can see them, the others sitting I the living-room. I contemplate going over but decide against it, walking instead over to the only darkened house, mine.
Opening the door looking around its dark, cold and UN-homely. It reminds me of everything I've been through but the docs said I need to go home, this is the only home I have left. Closing the door, turning the lights on and setting the fire ablaze, almost instantly feeling warm. I make my way through to the kitchen, placing the few shopping bags down, putting away the supplies that should last me a small while. I make a quick sandwich then head back to sit in-front of the fire., letting the crackling be the music for my night as it slowly lulls me to sleep.
Knocking, I wake to the front door being pounded on, the clock show 10:30pm. Groaning I get up, quickly putting more wood and coal onto the fire to get it back to life before heading to the front door. Opening it there stands all the others, Katniss at the front, Haymitch, Johanna, Finnick,Prim, gale and Annie. All looking at me like they did during the capital suicide mission. Not even speaking to any of them I turn moving away from the door and back to the living-room, leaving it open they can follow if they want but my day has been long enough, that and I was really enjoying that sleep.
Sitting back on the sofa, pulling the blanket I had set aside before falling asleep I notice that all have entered, the front door closing.
Sitting in the chairs around my seat, which I had moved to be directly in front of the fire, Gale speaks first.
"So, you going to try to kill us?" He asks, me snorting in response.
"Yeah, that's what I was doing, not you know having a very peace, UN-nightmare filled sleep while in-front of an extremely relaxing fire." I respond, looking to Katniss' the doc's message coming to my mind. "By the way Katniss, the doc say that he can't keep pretending to treat you, you need to pick up the phone ever once in a while." Eye's snapping to meet mine.
"And what about you?" she says, voice slightly raising at the end.
"Me, I remember everything, the right way. Turns out Snow lied, shocking I know but there was a cure, just took a bit of time making sure they got it right." he eye's looking at me, as though she trying to tell if I'm lying and she voices this.
"How can we tell your not-"
"My name is Peeta Mellark, I'm 17 going on 18, I've been through two hunger games, one being a quell with the other victors, I've been captured by the capital, hijacked and tortured along with two other victors, I survived the rebellion. I the games I thought we loved each other, it was an act, which ended the moment we won, we faked a marriage and baby, you don't feel the same way about me as I do you. District 12 got bombed because of yours and the other victors escape from the quell. My family died, Gale saved so of the district people but most died, it's only just started to be rebuilt. You shot coin because of what she did to your mother and Prim, Finnick and Annie are expecting the first baby, Johanna and gale are together and I just got back to 12 today." Letting out a long sigh I finish. "That about covers our story so far, yes." she studies me for a second, eye's slightly glassing over before speaking.
"Yeah that's- that's-"
stopping mid sentence she gets up and runs out, Prim, Gale and Johanna following. I turn to the rest and try to lighten the mood.
"Well seems like some things never change." that gets a dark chuckle out of Haymitch, who up till this point has been mute, along with everyone else.
"Good to see you kid, no phone call to say your coming." I decide to play along with these types of question by keeping my answer in a similar tone as his.
"Why? Give you a chance to set me up, arm your selves I think not." letting a dark chuckle escape. The worry in Haymitch's eyes too much, laughing hard I wipe the tears away before turning to him again. "honestly I'm fine, don't believe me, phone Paylor she tell you and the doc."
"so why did you come back?" that question from Finnick angers me.
"Because it's my home, not yours and not just her." angered I decide to let it all out, not noticing that she came back and is behind me. "What do you think that it's been hard for her, that I make it hard on her. Well guess fucking what! she wasn't the one that lost her whole family, yeah she lost her mum I lost everyone. So I came home to a place that used to make me happy but now, now I don't know so get the fuck out!" And they do, all apart from Haymitch.
"You know it's hard for them, after everything that happened. They just don't want to see her hurt."
"And you think I do, one thing you guys never realised that even when I was hijacked I still loved her, more than anything. That confused me loving someone who I was sure would hurt me but I've never stopped loving her." suddenly I hear a sniff, turning I see Katniss, tears falling down her cheeks, eye's looking seep into mine. Then a look of anger appears on her face, turning she leaves slamming the door shut.
Sighing I turn back to Haymitch. "We'll it looks like I've got my answer." I say sadly the thought finally sinking in, my future isn't with Katniss, she'll never love me the way I do. "I'm going to bed, see you tomorrow." leaving I walk up to my old bedroom, not even bothering to change I crawl under the covers letting the darkness take me, shedding no tears, I've cried too much for one life.
Week turn into months, Katniss and I, I don't know what we are. We have dinner together, along with the rest of the victor's but we hardly talk, we hardly look at each other. I've tried, dear god I've tried but nothing seems to work and every-time we meet I can see, feel the anger boiling inside her, now I'm sitting at the table having lunch and this is where it'll all end.
"Why are you here?" I look up, Katniss still looking at her plate.
"What?" I asked confused.
"Why are you here, sitting, eating. Why are you here?"
"Well this is home, I want to be at home."
"No this is my home, my home not yours, mine! You shouldn't be here, you should be dead. That's what Coin wanted, she wanted a martyr, it should have been you, them my mother wouldn't be dead, and I'd have my family, I'd be happy. You shouldn't be here."
"KATNISS!" they all shout.
"No! She's right, this isn't home, hasn't been for a long time. I'm done, I've shed enough tears for on life time. I did love you, still do Katniss but if me being around is too much, if the pain is still to hard, if I make living hard for you then just say it, just ask and I'll leave."
everyone silent, everyone is waiting. Finally the answer comes.
"Yes, I want you to leave, I don't want to be reminded of the pain or lies I had to endure any more because that's what you do, you remind me of every lie I had to live while Snow watched us, of all the painful consequences that came out of me saving you, if I could I would change it all and let the arrow go. I would still have everything I loved."
Every word like a knife slicing through my heart, every word true. The tears I fell welling up inside but I won't let them fall. Standing I get up leaving the table and the house, my plan already forming in my mind.
8pm at night, I sit here in my victor's house, the fire dead, curtains closed, windows shut tight and locked along with the back door, the wind howling through the village. Standing, gathering my bags I take one last look at the house, one last look at my old house. The memories of this past life fly through my mind, every moment goes through my eye's, reliving it. I walk out the door, locking it behind me and walk to the entrance to the village, I stand there for a moment looking back. Haymitch is there at his window, sadly looking back at me. He nods at me understanding, maybe time will heal us and as my father said to me, "if it's meant to be, no matter what happens you'll always find your way back to each other." Maybe one day we will but the doubt in my mind leads me to believe that perhaps this is the end, only I never wanted it.
The rain starts and I'm thankful because it hides the tears, turning I walk away from victor's village to the train station, boarding the 9pm train heading back to the capital, the call I made to the doc, he'll already have a few options for me.
This new life I'm heading to, I never wanted it, I wanted one with Katniss, maybe though just maybe this different life will be the start of something good.
End of chapter 1.
A/N: so that's chapter one, as I said this will be an Everlark story but it's going to be a few chapters till they meet again.
The story will mainly be in Peeta's POV but they'll be different smaller ones in the later chapters, Katniss' POV won't be seen for a while and neither will the other victor's.
Next chapter: One year later, new friends and maybe more.