Let me start off by saying that this story was actually started about 6 months ago but I couldn't think where to go with it, I finally got some inspiration after the episode 'The seventh', but I was in the middle of 'Wind at Our Backs', and waited till I had finished that before diving back into 'High Tide' (no pun intended). It would probably help if I explained that one of my totem spirits is a dragon named Xanadu and he can be a pain in the butt some times with his comments. "I heard that you mizzard!" Xanny ~ My, aren't we touchy ~ Hmm, anyway, from time to time you might see some interaction between him and I in these notes. "NO! You can't help write it, it's MY story, besides your claws would catch in the keyboard." ~ I was only asking, sheesh! ~ *aside* ~ She gets so uppity sometimes. ~ "Hey! I'm sitting here, ya know!" ~ *SNIRK!* ~ Disclaimer - Star Trek and its affiliates aren't mine (pity that) and are the property of Paramount, they are used her for the sole purpose of entertainment only. Any resemblance to persons living or dead are purely intentional (when in doubt, go with what you know).
Title - High Tide
Author - Talani Silverwolf
Genre - Angst/Romance
Codes - Rating: Part 1 PG-13 for mild language, Part 2 R for graphic lyrics from the Lords of Acid , intimate situations
Pairing(s) - Do you really have to ask? ~ They're not mind readers you know ~ "Xanny, I'm gonna throttle you if you don't stop butting in!" ~ Sor-reee! ~ A/T, "Happy?" ~ Yup! ~
It had been almost eight days since Captain Archer was rescued from the surface of the watery world they had discovered, somehow he had managed to put the failing shuttle down on one of the tiny islands that dotted the great expanses of ocean that characterized the planet. He hadn't landed unscathed, sustaining internal injuries in the crash. Fortunately, Sub-commander T'Pol had acted quickly to immobilize him and prevented him from injuring himself further. Trip entered sick bay and was immediately intercepted by Dr. Phlox.
"Good evening Commander, I assume you're here to check up on Captain Archer's condition?"
The Commander nodded as he said, "Yeah, I thought maybe he might like a little company. 'Sides, we finally figured out what caused the shuttle's engine to fail."
Phlox smiled and ushered him over to the curtained of area. As Tucker came around, he saw that Jon was awake and gave him a faint grin as he recognized who it was.
"Damn Cap't, ya still look like hell."
"Gee, thanks Trip. Fortunately though, according to our good doctor, the contusions should disappear in a couple of more days."
The Commander's expression took on a thoughtful air, "Ya know, marks like those bring out the mothering side of women. Wouldn't surprise me if one of our caring crew offered to give you some private nursing."
"Trip! I'm not going to use a bruised face to elicit any budding Florence Nightingales."
Trip chuckled, Archer seeing that devilish gleam in his friend's as the Commander continued, "Why not? Might be good for ya. You've been working yerself awfully hard lately, and I'm not the only one who's noticed. Why just the other day Hoshi was telling me about an incident where ya just about chewed off Ensign Cutler's head over a minor little thing."
Archer glared at his friend before replying, "It was a long day, and I hadn't slept well the night before. I apologized to her later, you can ask her if you'd like."
Tucker threw his hands up in front of him as he took a step back. "Whoa there, down boy. I was only trying to make a point", as he continued, he leaned forward, "You need ta take some time off. Am I right Doc?"
His eyes dared the Doctor to deny that statement. Phlox sighed as he turned his gaze to Archer. "He is right Captain, you have been extending yourself much to far recently. If you continue at this rate, you could very well work yourself into what I believe you Humans call a 'nervous breakdown'. Quite colorful that, and most accurate too."
Captain Archer had the feeling these two had planned this, working out a reason for him to take, to him at least, a totally unnecessary leave of absence from his duties. He certainly didn't think he'd been acting unreasonable lately, although the Sub-commander might argue that. At the thought of her, his mind halted, a whirl of mixed emotions momentarily sending him into silence. Phlox noted the change in the Captain's demeanor and gave him a studious look.
"I'm afraid I have to recommend a temporary cessation of your duties Captain. Not to worry though, it shouldn't be too long I would think, providing you follow my advice. Say, three, four weeks at the most."
Archer exploded, "FOUR WEEKS! You've got to be kidding me! I can't afford to be away for that long!"
"I'm afraid I must insist Captain. If not, I will be forced to make a report to Starfleet, neither of us would like that I dare say."
Fuming, he grudgingly relented to the Doctor's professional advice, but not without a final argument. "If an emergency comes up, I would hope it overrides any medical directives."
The Doctor gave him a good humored pat on the shoulder while saying, "I'll consider that possibility for you Captain."
"Thank's Doc, you're all heart." Was Archer's sarcastic reply.
Dr. Phlox was assessing his latest results for his consideration on the Captain's release when he heard someone entering quietly, by leaning precariously back on his stool he was able to make out the lithe form of Sub-commander T'Pol crossing over to his office area.
"Over her Sub-commander."
She paused and adjusted her trajectory towards the lab. When she halted, it was with feigned disinterest that she scanned the file he was going over.
"When do you estimate that the Captain will be recovered enough for release Doctor?"
At her cool enquiry, Phlox leaned back on the stool and swiveled his head enough to see her from the corner of his vision.
"From these latest results, mmm, oh around 0800 hours I think. Any more and I'm not sure he'll stay put without more eh, drastic measures."
She gave a slight nod, "Thank you Doctor, we just received a transmission from Starfleet requesting an update on his condition. Admiral Forrest will be pleased I'm sure."
Turning entirely around to give her a studious look, he continued, "I'm afraid he won't be returning to duty right away, I've already told him he must rest for the next few weeks. I'm sure the Admiral will understand when he receives my report."
With a slight incline of her head she acknowledged that bit of information and turned to leave.
"Sub-commander, was there anything else you wanted to know while you were here?"
With a slightly puzzled look she answered, "No Doctor, why?"
"Nothing, it just seemed you were hesitant is all."
Arching her brow slightly, she left sick bay.
Phlox chuckled to himself as he finished the report to be sent to Starfleet, then checked in on his patient. He was glad to see Captain Archer was sleeping fitfully without any signs of the dreams he'd been experiencing since his return to the ship.
The next morning Commander Tucker was there waiting for the Captain, beaming as his friend ambled towards him.
"Bout time, I was beginnin' ta think ya might've decided to spend your time off with the Doc."
Archer Grinned in return as he retorted, "If he had his way, I'm sure I would. He makes it sound like I plan to sneak onto the bridge the first chance I get!"
Trip laughed as he escorted Jon out of sick bay, "Aw, man! Doesn't he have more faith in you then that! Maybe he should assign ya a personal nurse if he feels that way."
The Captain made a half-hearted attempt at landing a punch on the Commander's shoulder as he grumbled, "Damned if I can see his reason for keeping me on medical leave for three whole weeks, I'm feeling almost 100%."
"Nuh-uh, not if that's the best you can do at throwing a blow."
Archer rounded on him, his ire obvious. "Trip, I'm not in the best of moods right now considering my outlook for the next few weeks, could you please quit with the clowning for now."
Tucker stood there, his expression sober as he replied, "Sure Jon, no prob', didn't realize ya were so upset by it. If you get too stir crazy just give me a holler, all right?"
They continued on in relative silence, Archer greeting the occasional crew member with a cheerful enough tone but a bit embarrassed by all the concern his recent lay-up had generated, until they reached his quarters.
Tucker watched his friend as he flopped on the bed, a streak of fur suddenly bounded across from the other side and proceeded to clamber all over him.
"Down Porthos!" Although the Captain used a stern tone, he had a smile as he patted the joyful hound. Trip was grinning as he said wistfully, "Dang, wish I had somebody half as eager to see me!"
The Captain looked up at him as he contritely responded, "Sorry for getting sore at you earlier Trip, I just don't deal well with convalescing. At least with Porthos here it won't be too monotonous."
Trip chuckled as he turned to leave, "I'll stop by later after my shift to see how you're doin', and remember, NO work. If I come back and catch you going over reports, I'll tell T'Pol!"
Archer grabbed a pillow and flung it at the retreating back of his Chief Engineer who evaded it, laughing all the way out of the room.
Once he was alone, the Captain sighed as he stared at the ceiling. After several minutes he sat up, then stiffly rose to make his way to the restroom. He stopped at the sink and leaned on it as he surveyed the remaining marks of his ordeal, glad that they were faded to a mottled brown. He still couldn't remember most of what happened after the shuttle struck the sand and rolled several times before finally coming to a stop on its side, hell, he'd been amazed either of them had survived it at all.
His thoughts faltered as an involuntary shudder shook him, everything had appeared to be going smoothly until the craft hit the lower atmosphere, then all hell had broken loose. He scrubbed at his face with one hand as he vividly recalled the entire control board flickering before going dark, next thing the shuttle had started to bank hard as it lost power. His memory of the events after that were sketchy, fragmented into moments of dark and light intermingled with the calm voice of his science officer telling him stay with her.
Shaking his head to clear his mind, he ran the water and splashed the cold liquid on his face. As he dried his face, he looked at the reflection facing him, reluctantly he had to agree with Phlox. Rest was probably what he needed most now, but he had so many other things that needed to be done, that he doubted his time off would be terribly restive.
He changed into a pair of sweat pants and an old T-shirt before finally deciding to go eat something. It felt strange not being on the bridge by this time of day, he halted just outside the dining area entrance as he noticed the place was crowded.
Mentally he chastised himself for not checking the time before coming down, it was obviously around 1200 hours. Taking a deep breath, he marched on in and headed for his private mess, returning the greetings tossed his way.
The Captain was barely settled into his chair when the steward on duty came in to take his order, a younger ensign he recalled as Gerald Johansson. He couldn't help but notice the man giving him the once over, almost as if to reassure himself that he was truly seeing his Captain and not an apparition.
It wasn't long before his food arrived, he thanked Mr. Johansson and watched as he left. Archer shook his head as he turned his attention on the steaming dish before him, surprised at just how hungry he really was. He'd cleaned his plate and was letting the meal settle as his thoughts wandered. It would have been nice to have company, even if only to discuss mundane topics, it seemed strange not to.
Heaving a sigh, he ambled back to his quarters trying to think of something to do once he got there. Porthos jumped up and joined him at his desk, sensing his master's mood, he placed his front paws on his lap then rested his head on them, giving him that soulful look that said, 'If you want to talk about it, I'm all ears.' Grinning, he patted the dog and murmured, "Thanks buddy."
After awhile he ended up straightening up his work area, amazed at the clutter he'd managed to collect in the few drawers he had. Once he finished, he tried to find another chore he'd been putting off, but could find nothing else to do. He ended up watching the water polo matches that he hadn't had time to before, laying on his side while his head was propped on one hand. With only the illumination from the view screen to cast any light in his room he soon drifted off to sleep, the dreams which ensued did nothing to help his present state of mind as they were erotic in nature, but as much as their subject was uninvited his subconscious mind reveled in their content.
Archer woke as he bolted upright, breathing hard and covered in sweat. He waited till his heart slowed down before getting up and stumbling into the bathroom. Not even bothering to activate the light, he stripped and climbed in the shower, letting the cool water wash some of his agitation away. He had never had a dream seem quite that real, it was disturbing too, he had thought he put that particular desire to rest as impossible and unobtainable.
Placing his face directly under the spray before turning it off, he groped around till his hand found the towel and dried himself. Instead of returning to bed, he pulled on his robe and went and sat down at his computer terminal and proceeded to call up any games that would take his mind off the rekindled urges his dreams had provoked.
The sound of his door chime caused him to jump, he looked at the clock and was mildy surprised to see that it read 0130 hours. He rubbed his eyes as he sat back and called out, "Enter."
The door slid open and the slight form of his science officer cautiously entered, one brow lifting slightly as she took note of his current occupation.
"Is everything alright Captain?"
Giving a nod as answer, he replied, "What brings you here?"
"I was running a systems check and noticed a marked increase in activity in the data library, mainly in the entertainment catagory. I assumed you were having trouble sleeping when I discovered the request originated from your quarters."
Sighing, he studied her a moment before issueing his answer. "No, just the opposite. I fell asleep this afternoon and woke up a little while ago. I figured some mind challenges might lull me back to sleep."
She walked over and glanced at the monitor then gazed back at him, "Free Cell? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that. It appears to be a card game."
He closed the game then shut down his terminal before standing, crossing his arms as he faced her.
"Maybe I'll show you how it's played sometime. If that's all you were here about Sub-commander, I apologize for disturbing your routine."
T'Pol inclined her head but paused as she started to turn. "Captain, if you are having trouble sleeping, perhaps the Doctor could perscribe a sedative to aid you."
Archer practically growled his answer, "No, I don't need a sedative to help with what's bothering me. It's nothing that you need to worry about, so if that's all, you can go."
Giving him a final glance, she turned to leave but stopped on the threshold and looked back over her shoulder, "Sir, if you would like someone to talk with I'm sure Commander Tucker could find the time, he has been your friend for a long time."
"Goodnight T'Pol."
He couldn't be sure, but he thought he heard her sigh as she closed the door. Unfortunately, her unexpected visit only fired up the very desires he'd been trying to repress. Maybe he should see the Doc about it, after all, Phlox was the one who pointedly commented that it might be his own supressed attraction to T'Pol which was causing the tension he felt. Scrub that, knowing the Doctor he might accidently mention it in the Vulcan's prescence then he'd really be in deep. Archer could just imagine how she'd take that, the last thing he needed was to have her disgusted with him.
He removed the robe and crawled back into bed with a weary sigh, a feeling of loss weighing at his soul. Slowly, his mind drifted and he was soon asleep only to be assaulted once again by the images his subconscious threw at him. Several times he awoke in a cold sweat and his heart pounding, he was beginnig to wonder if there might be something more seriously wrong than just the enforced idleness causing his brain to come up with such vivid and troubling dreams so relentlessly.
Archer got up and dressed in the same clothes he'd worn earlier, then left his quarters without any definite destination in mind. He wandered aimlessly for the next hour, trying to sort his chaotic thoughts into some semblence of order. Eventualy he found himself walking by T'Pol's quarters, he slowed but instantly sped by. What was he doing? Shaking his head as he wondered at his own behavior, he made his way back to his own lonely room.
Archer undressed as soon as the door hissed shut, leaving a trail of clothing from the entry to the foot of his bed, with a final resigned sigh he crawled under the covers and fell soundly asleep.
Sub-commander T'Pol was finishing the systems checks as she once again puzzled over the Captain's odd late night occupation. It just wasn't like him to be up at such an hour playing mindless games, granted he was probably bothered by not being allowed to do any ship's work, but that didn't explain why he had not been willing to discuss the problem. Even when she had suggested Commander Tucker be the one to talk to, the Captain had gotten defensive and irrate with her.
A small beep signaled the completion of her task, the last of the evening. Shutting down her station before leaving, she sought the solace of her room. She felt tired and decided to wash up before meditating, the unease she had been unable to define earlier when she'd spoken to the Captain came back as she lit her candles. Taking a deep cleansing breath, she prepared to find the cause of these unsettling feelings. Allowing her mind to focus as she concentrated on the flame, her awareness drifted from the here and now and went back over the events of the last several days.
Think.
There had been only the smell of smoke and a dim light to alert her that she had somehow survided the shuttle's system failure, the sound of a low moan causing her to pull herself stiffly out of the spot she had braced herself and locate the source. Although she would never admit it to anyone else, she had suffered a sense of shock and fear when she had finally been able to make out the Captain's features. Blood covered one side of his face while his breathing was labored, coming in short hard gasps.
As she touched his face, he had hoarsly whispered, "T'Pol?", his eyes flickering only briefly before closing as he passed out.
Knowing shock was setting in, she quickly found the first-aid locker and had gone to work trying to keep him alive. Once she was certain he was relatively stable, she had started on trying to get the communications board working. A wave of relief washed over her as she finally got a staticty reply from Enterprise, Commander Tucker's anxious voice saying that help was on its way and that a build up of electro-magnetic particals had been distcharged in their immediate vacinity an instant before they had fallen of the sensors.
The entire length of their ordeal had only lasted 6 hours, but it had seemed like an eternity at the time to her. All the way back to the ship, she had been unable to think of anything else but how close she had come to losing him.
There.
Why, she wondered. Why should she think anything like that? It wasn't logical to worry about such a thing, especially since she held no claim to him. These thoughts made no sense to her and made her question her own state of mind for a moment. Concentrating harder, she carefully analyzed them, the dawning realization of their meaning filled her with a numb shock. It was not possible, how could she miss seeing it before? A quit voice inside simply said, "Because you did not wish to do so before." With a small sigh, she opened her eyes and gazed around her room as she wondered what she should do.
Unable to find any answers now, she retired to her bed and hoped a logical resolution could be found to her dilemma, if not, the only other option would force her to admit things that she wasn't even ready to admit to herself. Where had she faltered in her training to not be aware of this awakening emotion, T'Pol realized with regret that she must never let another living soul know of her feelings, it was not going to be an easy thing to hide from the Captain, but must to preserve his career. The last thing she wanted to be infamous for was the downfall of Joanthan Archer. Sleep slowly found her and gave her some respite from the future, but only till morning.
Title - High Tide
Author - Talani Silverwolf
Genre - Angst/Romance
Codes - Rating: Part 1 PG-13 for mild language, Part 2 R for graphic lyrics from the Lords of Acid , intimate situations
Pairing(s) - Do you really have to ask? ~ They're not mind readers you know ~ "Xanny, I'm gonna throttle you if you don't stop butting in!" ~ Sor-reee! ~ A/T, "Happy?" ~ Yup! ~
It had been almost eight days since Captain Archer was rescued from the surface of the watery world they had discovered, somehow he had managed to put the failing shuttle down on one of the tiny islands that dotted the great expanses of ocean that characterized the planet. He hadn't landed unscathed, sustaining internal injuries in the crash. Fortunately, Sub-commander T'Pol had acted quickly to immobilize him and prevented him from injuring himself further. Trip entered sick bay and was immediately intercepted by Dr. Phlox.
"Good evening Commander, I assume you're here to check up on Captain Archer's condition?"
The Commander nodded as he said, "Yeah, I thought maybe he might like a little company. 'Sides, we finally figured out what caused the shuttle's engine to fail."
Phlox smiled and ushered him over to the curtained of area. As Tucker came around, he saw that Jon was awake and gave him a faint grin as he recognized who it was.
"Damn Cap't, ya still look like hell."
"Gee, thanks Trip. Fortunately though, according to our good doctor, the contusions should disappear in a couple of more days."
The Commander's expression took on a thoughtful air, "Ya know, marks like those bring out the mothering side of women. Wouldn't surprise me if one of our caring crew offered to give you some private nursing."
"Trip! I'm not going to use a bruised face to elicit any budding Florence Nightingales."
Trip chuckled, Archer seeing that devilish gleam in his friend's as the Commander continued, "Why not? Might be good for ya. You've been working yerself awfully hard lately, and I'm not the only one who's noticed. Why just the other day Hoshi was telling me about an incident where ya just about chewed off Ensign Cutler's head over a minor little thing."
Archer glared at his friend before replying, "It was a long day, and I hadn't slept well the night before. I apologized to her later, you can ask her if you'd like."
Tucker threw his hands up in front of him as he took a step back. "Whoa there, down boy. I was only trying to make a point", as he continued, he leaned forward, "You need ta take some time off. Am I right Doc?"
His eyes dared the Doctor to deny that statement. Phlox sighed as he turned his gaze to Archer. "He is right Captain, you have been extending yourself much to far recently. If you continue at this rate, you could very well work yourself into what I believe you Humans call a 'nervous breakdown'. Quite colorful that, and most accurate too."
Captain Archer had the feeling these two had planned this, working out a reason for him to take, to him at least, a totally unnecessary leave of absence from his duties. He certainly didn't think he'd been acting unreasonable lately, although the Sub-commander might argue that. At the thought of her, his mind halted, a whirl of mixed emotions momentarily sending him into silence. Phlox noted the change in the Captain's demeanor and gave him a studious look.
"I'm afraid I have to recommend a temporary cessation of your duties Captain. Not to worry though, it shouldn't be too long I would think, providing you follow my advice. Say, three, four weeks at the most."
Archer exploded, "FOUR WEEKS! You've got to be kidding me! I can't afford to be away for that long!"
"I'm afraid I must insist Captain. If not, I will be forced to make a report to Starfleet, neither of us would like that I dare say."
Fuming, he grudgingly relented to the Doctor's professional advice, but not without a final argument. "If an emergency comes up, I would hope it overrides any medical directives."
The Doctor gave him a good humored pat on the shoulder while saying, "I'll consider that possibility for you Captain."
"Thank's Doc, you're all heart." Was Archer's sarcastic reply.
Dr. Phlox was assessing his latest results for his consideration on the Captain's release when he heard someone entering quietly, by leaning precariously back on his stool he was able to make out the lithe form of Sub-commander T'Pol crossing over to his office area.
"Over her Sub-commander."
She paused and adjusted her trajectory towards the lab. When she halted, it was with feigned disinterest that she scanned the file he was going over.
"When do you estimate that the Captain will be recovered enough for release Doctor?"
At her cool enquiry, Phlox leaned back on the stool and swiveled his head enough to see her from the corner of his vision.
"From these latest results, mmm, oh around 0800 hours I think. Any more and I'm not sure he'll stay put without more eh, drastic measures."
She gave a slight nod, "Thank you Doctor, we just received a transmission from Starfleet requesting an update on his condition. Admiral Forrest will be pleased I'm sure."
Turning entirely around to give her a studious look, he continued, "I'm afraid he won't be returning to duty right away, I've already told him he must rest for the next few weeks. I'm sure the Admiral will understand when he receives my report."
With a slight incline of her head she acknowledged that bit of information and turned to leave.
"Sub-commander, was there anything else you wanted to know while you were here?"
With a slightly puzzled look she answered, "No Doctor, why?"
"Nothing, it just seemed you were hesitant is all."
Arching her brow slightly, she left sick bay.
Phlox chuckled to himself as he finished the report to be sent to Starfleet, then checked in on his patient. He was glad to see Captain Archer was sleeping fitfully without any signs of the dreams he'd been experiencing since his return to the ship.
The next morning Commander Tucker was there waiting for the Captain, beaming as his friend ambled towards him.
"Bout time, I was beginnin' ta think ya might've decided to spend your time off with the Doc."
Archer Grinned in return as he retorted, "If he had his way, I'm sure I would. He makes it sound like I plan to sneak onto the bridge the first chance I get!"
Trip laughed as he escorted Jon out of sick bay, "Aw, man! Doesn't he have more faith in you then that! Maybe he should assign ya a personal nurse if he feels that way."
The Captain made a half-hearted attempt at landing a punch on the Commander's shoulder as he grumbled, "Damned if I can see his reason for keeping me on medical leave for three whole weeks, I'm feeling almost 100%."
"Nuh-uh, not if that's the best you can do at throwing a blow."
Archer rounded on him, his ire obvious. "Trip, I'm not in the best of moods right now considering my outlook for the next few weeks, could you please quit with the clowning for now."
Tucker stood there, his expression sober as he replied, "Sure Jon, no prob', didn't realize ya were so upset by it. If you get too stir crazy just give me a holler, all right?"
They continued on in relative silence, Archer greeting the occasional crew member with a cheerful enough tone but a bit embarrassed by all the concern his recent lay-up had generated, until they reached his quarters.
Tucker watched his friend as he flopped on the bed, a streak of fur suddenly bounded across from the other side and proceeded to clamber all over him.
"Down Porthos!" Although the Captain used a stern tone, he had a smile as he patted the joyful hound. Trip was grinning as he said wistfully, "Dang, wish I had somebody half as eager to see me!"
The Captain looked up at him as he contritely responded, "Sorry for getting sore at you earlier Trip, I just don't deal well with convalescing. At least with Porthos here it won't be too monotonous."
Trip chuckled as he turned to leave, "I'll stop by later after my shift to see how you're doin', and remember, NO work. If I come back and catch you going over reports, I'll tell T'Pol!"
Archer grabbed a pillow and flung it at the retreating back of his Chief Engineer who evaded it, laughing all the way out of the room.
Once he was alone, the Captain sighed as he stared at the ceiling. After several minutes he sat up, then stiffly rose to make his way to the restroom. He stopped at the sink and leaned on it as he surveyed the remaining marks of his ordeal, glad that they were faded to a mottled brown. He still couldn't remember most of what happened after the shuttle struck the sand and rolled several times before finally coming to a stop on its side, hell, he'd been amazed either of them had survived it at all.
His thoughts faltered as an involuntary shudder shook him, everything had appeared to be going smoothly until the craft hit the lower atmosphere, then all hell had broken loose. He scrubbed at his face with one hand as he vividly recalled the entire control board flickering before going dark, next thing the shuttle had started to bank hard as it lost power. His memory of the events after that were sketchy, fragmented into moments of dark and light intermingled with the calm voice of his science officer telling him stay with her.
Shaking his head to clear his mind, he ran the water and splashed the cold liquid on his face. As he dried his face, he looked at the reflection facing him, reluctantly he had to agree with Phlox. Rest was probably what he needed most now, but he had so many other things that needed to be done, that he doubted his time off would be terribly restive.
He changed into a pair of sweat pants and an old T-shirt before finally deciding to go eat something. It felt strange not being on the bridge by this time of day, he halted just outside the dining area entrance as he noticed the place was crowded.
Mentally he chastised himself for not checking the time before coming down, it was obviously around 1200 hours. Taking a deep breath, he marched on in and headed for his private mess, returning the greetings tossed his way.
The Captain was barely settled into his chair when the steward on duty came in to take his order, a younger ensign he recalled as Gerald Johansson. He couldn't help but notice the man giving him the once over, almost as if to reassure himself that he was truly seeing his Captain and not an apparition.
It wasn't long before his food arrived, he thanked Mr. Johansson and watched as he left. Archer shook his head as he turned his attention on the steaming dish before him, surprised at just how hungry he really was. He'd cleaned his plate and was letting the meal settle as his thoughts wandered. It would have been nice to have company, even if only to discuss mundane topics, it seemed strange not to.
Heaving a sigh, he ambled back to his quarters trying to think of something to do once he got there. Porthos jumped up and joined him at his desk, sensing his master's mood, he placed his front paws on his lap then rested his head on them, giving him that soulful look that said, 'If you want to talk about it, I'm all ears.' Grinning, he patted the dog and murmured, "Thanks buddy."
After awhile he ended up straightening up his work area, amazed at the clutter he'd managed to collect in the few drawers he had. Once he finished, he tried to find another chore he'd been putting off, but could find nothing else to do. He ended up watching the water polo matches that he hadn't had time to before, laying on his side while his head was propped on one hand. With only the illumination from the view screen to cast any light in his room he soon drifted off to sleep, the dreams which ensued did nothing to help his present state of mind as they were erotic in nature, but as much as their subject was uninvited his subconscious mind reveled in their content.
Archer woke as he bolted upright, breathing hard and covered in sweat. He waited till his heart slowed down before getting up and stumbling into the bathroom. Not even bothering to activate the light, he stripped and climbed in the shower, letting the cool water wash some of his agitation away. He had never had a dream seem quite that real, it was disturbing too, he had thought he put that particular desire to rest as impossible and unobtainable.
Placing his face directly under the spray before turning it off, he groped around till his hand found the towel and dried himself. Instead of returning to bed, he pulled on his robe and went and sat down at his computer terminal and proceeded to call up any games that would take his mind off the rekindled urges his dreams had provoked.
The sound of his door chime caused him to jump, he looked at the clock and was mildy surprised to see that it read 0130 hours. He rubbed his eyes as he sat back and called out, "Enter."
The door slid open and the slight form of his science officer cautiously entered, one brow lifting slightly as she took note of his current occupation.
"Is everything alright Captain?"
Giving a nod as answer, he replied, "What brings you here?"
"I was running a systems check and noticed a marked increase in activity in the data library, mainly in the entertainment catagory. I assumed you were having trouble sleeping when I discovered the request originated from your quarters."
Sighing, he studied her a moment before issueing his answer. "No, just the opposite. I fell asleep this afternoon and woke up a little while ago. I figured some mind challenges might lull me back to sleep."
She walked over and glanced at the monitor then gazed back at him, "Free Cell? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that. It appears to be a card game."
He closed the game then shut down his terminal before standing, crossing his arms as he faced her.
"Maybe I'll show you how it's played sometime. If that's all you were here about Sub-commander, I apologize for disturbing your routine."
T'Pol inclined her head but paused as she started to turn. "Captain, if you are having trouble sleeping, perhaps the Doctor could perscribe a sedative to aid you."
Archer practically growled his answer, "No, I don't need a sedative to help with what's bothering me. It's nothing that you need to worry about, so if that's all, you can go."
Giving him a final glance, she turned to leave but stopped on the threshold and looked back over her shoulder, "Sir, if you would like someone to talk with I'm sure Commander Tucker could find the time, he has been your friend for a long time."
"Goodnight T'Pol."
He couldn't be sure, but he thought he heard her sigh as she closed the door. Unfortunately, her unexpected visit only fired up the very desires he'd been trying to repress. Maybe he should see the Doc about it, after all, Phlox was the one who pointedly commented that it might be his own supressed attraction to T'Pol which was causing the tension he felt. Scrub that, knowing the Doctor he might accidently mention it in the Vulcan's prescence then he'd really be in deep. Archer could just imagine how she'd take that, the last thing he needed was to have her disgusted with him.
He removed the robe and crawled back into bed with a weary sigh, a feeling of loss weighing at his soul. Slowly, his mind drifted and he was soon asleep only to be assaulted once again by the images his subconscious threw at him. Several times he awoke in a cold sweat and his heart pounding, he was beginnig to wonder if there might be something more seriously wrong than just the enforced idleness causing his brain to come up with such vivid and troubling dreams so relentlessly.
Archer got up and dressed in the same clothes he'd worn earlier, then left his quarters without any definite destination in mind. He wandered aimlessly for the next hour, trying to sort his chaotic thoughts into some semblence of order. Eventualy he found himself walking by T'Pol's quarters, he slowed but instantly sped by. What was he doing? Shaking his head as he wondered at his own behavior, he made his way back to his own lonely room.
Archer undressed as soon as the door hissed shut, leaving a trail of clothing from the entry to the foot of his bed, with a final resigned sigh he crawled under the covers and fell soundly asleep.
Sub-commander T'Pol was finishing the systems checks as she once again puzzled over the Captain's odd late night occupation. It just wasn't like him to be up at such an hour playing mindless games, granted he was probably bothered by not being allowed to do any ship's work, but that didn't explain why he had not been willing to discuss the problem. Even when she had suggested Commander Tucker be the one to talk to, the Captain had gotten defensive and irrate with her.
A small beep signaled the completion of her task, the last of the evening. Shutting down her station before leaving, she sought the solace of her room. She felt tired and decided to wash up before meditating, the unease she had been unable to define earlier when she'd spoken to the Captain came back as she lit her candles. Taking a deep cleansing breath, she prepared to find the cause of these unsettling feelings. Allowing her mind to focus as she concentrated on the flame, her awareness drifted from the here and now and went back over the events of the last several days.
Think.
There had been only the smell of smoke and a dim light to alert her that she had somehow survided the shuttle's system failure, the sound of a low moan causing her to pull herself stiffly out of the spot she had braced herself and locate the source. Although she would never admit it to anyone else, she had suffered a sense of shock and fear when she had finally been able to make out the Captain's features. Blood covered one side of his face while his breathing was labored, coming in short hard gasps.
As she touched his face, he had hoarsly whispered, "T'Pol?", his eyes flickering only briefly before closing as he passed out.
Knowing shock was setting in, she quickly found the first-aid locker and had gone to work trying to keep him alive. Once she was certain he was relatively stable, she had started on trying to get the communications board working. A wave of relief washed over her as she finally got a staticty reply from Enterprise, Commander Tucker's anxious voice saying that help was on its way and that a build up of electro-magnetic particals had been distcharged in their immediate vacinity an instant before they had fallen of the sensors.
The entire length of their ordeal had only lasted 6 hours, but it had seemed like an eternity at the time to her. All the way back to the ship, she had been unable to think of anything else but how close she had come to losing him.
There.
Why, she wondered. Why should she think anything like that? It wasn't logical to worry about such a thing, especially since she held no claim to him. These thoughts made no sense to her and made her question her own state of mind for a moment. Concentrating harder, she carefully analyzed them, the dawning realization of their meaning filled her with a numb shock. It was not possible, how could she miss seeing it before? A quit voice inside simply said, "Because you did not wish to do so before." With a small sigh, she opened her eyes and gazed around her room as she wondered what she should do.
Unable to find any answers now, she retired to her bed and hoped a logical resolution could be found to her dilemma, if not, the only other option would force her to admit things that she wasn't even ready to admit to herself. Where had she faltered in her training to not be aware of this awakening emotion, T'Pol realized with regret that she must never let another living soul know of her feelings, it was not going to be an easy thing to hide from the Captain, but must to preserve his career. The last thing she wanted to be infamous for was the downfall of Joanthan Archer. Sleep slowly found her and gave her some respite from the future, but only till morning.