Leap of Faith
Renesmee's POV
"Claire, I really don't know about this. Spring Break, really?" I asked, frowning at the wall of my dorm room as I waited for a response on the other end of the phone.
"Uh…yeah. Listen, I'm sick of only hearing my best friend's voice. We're practically in two different countries! It's like you're in Canada and I'm in Mexico!"
At that I had to laugh. "And remind me how you got to college again. Surely, Forks High's curriculum wasn't that bad. I'm in Seattle and you're in Los Angeles. How is that two different countries?"
"I haven't seen you in a year! Ren, Spring Break MTV style would be a perfect reunion for us!" Claire almost squealed excitedly.
"You know my parents won't permit it…"
"Your parents barely permit you to breathe, but you do it anyway, don't you?"
I rolled my eyes though she couldn't see it. Claire and I were different in so many ways. Her parents allowed her to do her own thing most times. They were on the lenient side. My parents were their polar opposite. I was "strictly forbidden" to do almost anything. All throughout high school, Claire endearingly referred to my dad as stickinthemudward, and he loved Claire but disliked her at the same time. He thought she was corrupting my innocence.
"I'll see what I can do." I sighed.
Claire and I had decided that the first day of Spring Break we would spend with our families – mostly as a condition to both of us getting to go to Panama City Beach in Florida for the week. The second day we would leave early because it would take us over 48 hours to drive from Washington to Florida. We were going to do this vacation right, road tripping, snacks, and sleeping in the car. We had the ultimate college student's Spring Break planed out.
After the vigorous Q&A session at my house, I arrived at Claire's promptly at five a.m. As soon as I cut off the engine and the lights, she burst out of the house running to the car. Her jet black hair was in a high ponytail, and she had lime green sunglasses on top of her head. Claire was also wearing a lime green halter top, jean shorts, and matching flip flops. I hopped out and we embraced for a long time. Claire was my best friend and had been since we were children.
"You're already ready for the beach!" I commented on her attire. Her halter barely touched the waist band of her shorts, and even her shorts were tiny, revealing her long, tanned legs. I had always been a tad envious of Claire's height and natural tan. I had the inability to tan. No matter how much time I'd spent in the sun, I stayed nearly ghost white.
"And you…are not." Claire wrinkled her nose at my University of Washington t-shirt and jeans. "If there are more of those hideous things in your suitcase, we are definitely going shopping first thing when we get to Panama City." She smiled and then ran back inside to get her bags.
To my surprise, not only did Claire and a three piece luggage set come out, but also two hot guys with duffle bags came out as well. I knew them from the La Push Reservation. "Uhh…Claire, how much did you pack?"
"Just these three bags." She pointed to her matching purple luggage.
I walked up to her as she was putting her things in the trunk. "Then what are they doing here?" I whispered in a rush.
"You know Brady and Collin, right? They are going with us. They can help us drive, that's less money in gas we have to split, and Brady's parents have a condo we can stay in for free," she reasoned.
I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose to calm myself. "I told my father that we would be staying at the Hampton Inn because that's where your parents booked the room." I forced a smile when Brady and Collin were putting their bags into the trunk.
"And that's what I told you because a, I knew that you have the inability to lie, and b, stickinthemudward would never let you stay at the condo." Claire stuck her tongue out at me, proud of herself for beating the system.
I should have known when she insisted that we take my car – a Volvo VC90 SUV – that she had ulterior motives. She knew I hated surprises, but I couldn't turn down a surprise in the form of two muscular, caramel Quileutes.
The drive went smoothly, and was one of the most fun trips I'd had being stuck in a car for two days. Of course baby wipes and gas station bathrooms were essential. I caught up on Claire's life. She was still single, and – no shocker here – I was too. She had finally decided to follow in her father's footsteps and claim her major as Pre-law, and that in itself was funny because I was following my father's example and I was Pre-med. I found out a bit about the boys as well. Brady was in a relationship, which was sad. I mentally mourned the loss of all fantasies of possibly hooking up with that handsome hunk. Collin on the other hand was single and a complete flirt. I also found out that Brady too went to the University of Washington, but I'd never seen him because we spent the majority of our time on two different sides of the campus. I was a sophomore that was still taking general studies courses and he was a junior starting his engineering major classes.
Soon, it had become crystal clear why Claire had chosen these guys. Brady's invitation was solely for the free place to stay, and Collin's because he was a few months older than Brady and had just turned 21. He was going to be the alcohol supplier. These boys had no clue as to why my manipulative best friend had chosen them, though she had always known them and stayed in close contact.
When we finally arrived at the "condo" I was in shock. To call it a condo was a complete understatement. This was a three story house painted yellow with white shutters and trim. There were three balconies. I could already tell this was a massive house. Upon further inspection as we brought our bags in, my assumptions were correct. It was a nice place to say the least. The living room had tan leather chairs and the tables were dark wood, which was the entire color scheme of the room. The first floor consisted of the living room, dining room, kitchen, a bedroom, bathroom, and a balcony. Collin quickly called dibs on the first floor bedroom. Brady led us to the second floor which held a balcony, two bedrooms, two bathrooms and a master bed and bath. Of course Brady took the master bedroom, and Claire and I roomed in the bedroom next to his. There were two beds in our large room. The decorations weren't too elaborate. Just pictures of the beach over each queen size bed, a golden comforter on each and a tiny white night stand separating them. Across the room there was a Chester drawer to match the night stand, a large flat screen TV on the wall, and a DVD player mounted under it. We dropped our bags and went to the third floor to take a look. It simply had a balcony and a bedroom and bathroom.
"This place is…wow…did you guys plan on anyone else staying here as well? This house is huge!" I expressed my amazement.
Claire laughed a little, but changed the subject and I noticed that everybody seemed to avoid answering me. "So, guys, what do we want to do first?" Claire asked.
I yawned. "Well I'd like to sleep first. If I don't get some semblance of a nap, I'm not going to be any fun tonight."
Of course Claire tried to protest, but finally gave in. Before I lay down, I did the responsible thing and lied to my parents, telling them I checked in at the Hampton. I woke up four hours later to Claire jumping on my bed, yelling for me to get up. "Get up, get up! We have to get dressed and go downstairs to pre-game!"
"Okay, I'm up," I mumbled groggily, sitting up in bed.
"I took the liberty of looking through your clothes, but they just won't do for a night of clubbing. I went out and bought you something," Claire cheerfully informed me.
I growled under my breath and ran my fingers through my bronze, curly locks. "Who are you, my Aunt Alice?"
"No, but I learned from the best, didn't I?" She batted her eyes at me before I got out of bed.
"Show me the torture devices you'd like me to wear already."
After the words were out of my mouth, I instantly regretted them. Claire pulled out an electric blue mini dress with an asymmetrical ruffle starting at my left hip and going down and around, growing longer –but not by much – in the back. I knew that protesting the dress wouldn't do any good, so I sucked it up and slid into it, which was a task in itself. After finally stuffing myself into the dress, I looked in the full length mirror in the room.
"No way! My lady bits are almost showing and my boobs are way too big for this! I feel like they are going to pop out at any moment!" I turned to the side and felt the need to protest a bit more. "Claire, this dress looks painted on! You can see every muscle, every curve…every…everything!"
"And that's a problem because? Listen, the dress is fine. We'll ask Collin and Brady when we go downstairs," she told me as she was putting on her dress.
I was fixing my hair when I looked over to see that Claire's dress made mine look very conservative in comparison. Her dress was purple. There was a band that went around from her chest to her back with draped fabric attached to cover her breasts. The fabric came together at her belly button with the smallest excuse for a mini skirt I had ever seen. She was showing so much skin. Her entire back was showing and her sides were unclothed, and her legs and thighs were on display as well. Claire had flipped her hair into a Ferrah Fawcet type style. I truly envied her ability to quickly tame her long black hair. Mine was a curly mess that wouldn't cooperate, so I clipped back one side and let the rest hang freely.
Nerves were kicking in as we went downstairs. I knew the boys were downstairs because I heard them rummaging around. Collin was in the kitchen and Brady was sprawled on the couch with a red Solo cup in hand. The party scene may not have been my thing, but I was no idiot. I knew what college students used them for. When we got downstairs, Brady jumped up as if he was shocked, spilling some of the contents from his drink on himself.
"Our Ren is a bit insecure about her dress. What do you guys think?" Claire asked.
Brady gave me a smirk that would make any girl's knees wobble. "I didn't know there could be a new definition for sexy, but I think we should send your picture off as a prime example."
I could feel a blush creeping up my cheeks. Brady was so handsome. He was tall with hazel eyes, and curly black hair that he kept pulled back in a ponytail. He was wearing a nice green shirt and jean shorts with the matching tennis shoes. He noted my blush and continued. "If I didn't have a girlfriend, I would definitely be pursuing you."
I looked down at my stiletto clad feet and bit my lip. I wasn't good at being the center of attention. "Unlike him, I'm not tied down, so I can fully appreciate how sexy the both of you are." Collin winked at me, and I giggled.
Claire went to the refrigerator then. "I do have a public announcement. I in no way condone underage drinking. What you do when I'm not looking is not my fault," Collin announced, turning toward the television as Claire poured two drinks.
"And that, my friends, concludes Collin's public service announcement," Brady said, imitating an announcer on TV.
We all laughed. I had a feeling this would be an okay week with the two of them. Claire came out of the kitchen, handing me a cup, and I sniffed it. "What is this?"
"It's Hunch Punch. We're pregamming since 19 year olds aren't allowed to have drinks at the club," she stated as if it was plain to see.
"Pregamming?" That terminology was completely lost on me.
Brady got strangled on his drink and Claire and Collin both thought that my question was beyond funny. I couldn't understand what was funny about this ordeal. "Guys, I'm serious. What is it?"
"Drinking before we go to the club. Mostly it's reserved for like tailgating a game or something, but it works," Claire informed me.
"I'm sorry I didn't understand your terminology. I don't generally party, so what did you expect?" I asked them all.
"That would explain why we've never run into each other on campus. You must never leave your dorm or the library?" Brady asked.
My cheeks were reddening from embarrassment and a bit of anger. I wouldn't have them thinking I was a prude. I would drink with them and be just as fun as everyone else. I'd already lied to my parents, so I could do this. I put the cup to my lips and cringed as I drank the first sip. It wasn't as horrible as I had thought. It tasted like juice, so I quickly downed it.
"Easy, first timer, you have to pace yourself," Collin came up, putting a hand on my shoulder and that caused a stirring in my insides. He was so sexy and his warm, rough hand on bare shoulder felt nice.
I just ducked my head not saying a word. Claire poured me another cup and I sat down beside Brady on the couch. Claire turned on some music and we danced around, being silly. The boys even got in on the fun. I think it was less of just being silly and more the alcohol taking its effect. I felt slightly lightheaded and free. I could run across the beach naked without a care in the world right now.
After a couple of hours, Collin called us a cab to take us to Club LaVela. According to Claire, unless you've been living under a rock for your college career, everyone knows what Club LaVela is. Of course, I had to admit I had no clue, so I guess a rock was my place of residence. This club was massive. It had eleven rooms and apparently the max capacity was over six thousand. We got in with no problem, and of course I was already feeling a bit unlike myself.
"Collin, dance with me." I grabbed his hand, not giving him a chance to protest and lead him onto the dance floor.
"Well, look who has loosened up!" Claire exclaimed.
Collin and I ignored her. At first, he gave me space we weren't touching during our dance, but eventually we got closer until our bodies were pressed tightly against each other. It felt so good to be pressed up against his body. I could feel the ridges of his abs and when his hands gripped my bottom, I didn't even protest. As the song was changing into another, he leaned close to my ear. "You want another drink?"
"Drink? Of course, I love drinks!" I giggled.
When Collin relinquished his hold on me, I decided to go find Claire. I turned and almost ran smack into a hard body. I stumbled back and lost my footing, sending me to the floor. Surprisingly, I didn't land flat on my back. Instead, I landed on my bum but in almost a sitting position. A large hand reached out to me and I looked up into Mr. Chivalrous's eyes. I recognized him instantly, and I was sure he recognized me as well. I really couldn't believe that of all the people to cause me to fall and offer a helping hand, it would be him. I blinked to make sure it wasn't an alcohol induced illusion. My heart hammered in my chest and my cheeks were burning – not that he could see it in the dark room.
He pulled me up, his hand still in mine and his other arm around my back, holding me securely. "I'm…I'm…fine," I spoke and he looked down into my eyes.
I could see his lips twitch in a near smile. "Nessie?" He frowned as if he was unsure.
I grinned stupidly. "Jacob?" I asked, knowing full well I knew who he was.
I'd know him anywhere. He went beyond tall, dark, and handsome. Everything about him screamed man. His height, the muscular ridges of his body – which pressed so close to him I could feel – and the secure grip on me hinted that he knew just how to hold a woman. He had been the object of my fantasies for years, but of course he was 24 and I was only 19. Jacob probably thought of me as the silly little girl he knew from town, yet I knew him as so many things. In so many fantasies, he was mine. Jacob was my plumber, my cable man, and my mechanic – though the latter was a true testament. I'd seen, from a distance, just what those rough, calloused, manly hands could do to a car. I knew what he looked like with a soot smeared cheek, a dirty white muscle shirt and jeans on, and oil covered hands, working on a car. He would work, smile and whistle. It had been the single most beautiful thing I was ever allowed to view in my life, and here he was, looking down at me.
"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice a deep rumble.
"I'm great, wonderful, couldn't be better," I rambled.
He righted me then, releasing me, and immediately I wished to still be in his arms. I was living out my high school fantasies right here. Jacob was the older guy that was utterly out of my reach no matter what. Though he had moved on from La Push, I tended to think about him from time to time. It was the most epic crush of my life. Though that was all it had ever been.
To save me from standing there just gaping at him a moment longer, Collin returned with a cup of something. He placed it in my hand, and without thinking I downed it quickly. Whatever it was, it wasn't like the Hunch Punch I'd had earlier. The alcohol was very present in this beverage. I was glad that I downed it quickly.
"Hey, Jake! You made it!" Collin yelled over the music.
I should've been more preoccupied with Collin's statement, but I just wanted to dance. I threw my hands up in the air, swaying from side to side with my eyes closed, just feeling the music. The infectious beats thumping through the speakers had my hips rocking in time with the music. I felt arms encase me from behind and I leaned back into his chest. Somehow, I knew that it was Jacob. He wasn't dancing though.
I heard concern in his voice when he spoke to Collin. "Should she really be drinking? Look at her." I thought I looked fine. What was wrong with me? "If you bring her anything else, it better be water."
My body was stationary, and I just wanted to dance. Experimentally, I wiggled my hips from side to side, hoping he would follow my movements. I heard him chuckle as he gave in and danced with me. His body followed mine, and we were in perfect sync. I grinded into his crotch, grabbing his hands that were resting on my hips and led them down my bare thighs and slowly back up. I wanted Jacob to touch me. When my hands led his to my inner thigh, he resisted, and I leaned my head back against his shoulder, craning to see his face.
"Please, touch me," I whispered. I couldn't believe I had just said that.
Jacob didn't answer me. He just looked to Collin who had been dancing with some girl. "I need a drink…a strong one preferably. I'd get it myself, but I'm not sure she's gonna let me leave."
"Leave? Who's leaving? I'm not ready to go yet!" I protested.
I turned in his arms and he seemed thoroughly amused about something. "No one is going anywhere. You're okay. We're dancing." He smiled at me, and Collin brought him a drink.
Jacob kept drinking and we kept dancing. At some point during our dance, I wound up straddling his thigh as my body grinded against his. His big hands gripped my bottom and I reveled in the feel of being touched by him. I was pressed so close to him that my lady bits excited from the friction against his thigh. I wrapped my arms around his neck, quickening my pace against his thigh. It felt so amazing as I gasped from the sensation. I twined my fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck and wanted so badly to kiss him. His lips were inches from mine. I could feel his breath bathing my face, but I could also my body building toward release. Before it really registered in my mind to stop the movement of my hips, I was clinging to him and moaning against him.
"Oops." I giggled. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean…mean to…"
I stepped back, suddenly feeling dizzy form all the movement. It was as if the room was spinning on its axis and nothing could stop it. I could feel myself crash back against Jacob's chest. His arms went securely around me.
"Okay. It's time to get you home. Can you walk?" he asked, trying to lead me off the dance floor.
Walking made the spinning faster. I was so frightened. I had never felt like this before. Seeing that I wasn't moving and my eyes were squeezed shut, Jacob picked me up and carried me outside. Somehow, there was a car and Jacob said something to someone, and he held me in his lap as the car that felt more like a boat took us somewhere.
When the boat stopped rocking, Jacob carried me into some place. I didn't open my eyes because I knew this place would be spinning too. My head rested against his shoulder as he carried me. We went up some stairs, and he placed me on a soft surface. Was it a bed?
"Where are your clothes?" he asked.
"My clothes are in the closet at Brady's house…Where am I? Am I at Brady's house? I'm supposed to be there!" I began to cry. I didn't understand why I was crying, but I was.
Arms wrapped around me, and I felt a warm body pressed against me. "Shh…it's okay. You're at Brady's. Open your eyes and see." I shook my head no and an onslaught of vertigo attacked me. "I have your pajamas. Can you take off your dress? I won't look."
Blindly, I felt for the clothes and then tried to stand only to stumble backwards a little. I righted myself and felt for the ruffles at the bottom of my dress to pull it over my head, but I couldn't quite manage to remember how to get my dress off. I struggled for a few seconds before I felt hands moving my own out of the way and swiftly tugging the dress over my head. I was directed to lift one foot then the other and I felt pants sliding up my thighs. A t-shirt was being slid over my head and my arms placed in the holes. I was being led back to the comforting bed and told to sit. Minutes later, I was given water and Tylenol before being tucked in for the night. I felt something brush against my forehead and the last thing I registered before I gave myself over to the grogginess was his voice.
"I hope you feel better."
The sound of something pelting down on a hard surface snatched me awake the next morning. My head felt as if it was about to explode. The pain was so excruciating that I wished it had. I wanted to open my eyes, but I could already tell the sun was beaming luminously through the windows. Light plus an excruciating headache didn't equal up to an equation I wanted to solve just yet, but I had to use the bathroom really bad. I knew Claire was probably showering, since the pelting I had heard must have been the shower. I felt down my body, thinking that I must have fallen asleep in my dress from the club, but I felt a t-shirt and pajama pants instead. I didn't remember putting them on. In fact, I didn't remember anything after getting in the cab to go to the club.
"I see you're awake," a deep voice said.
I jumped up with a start, opening my eyes. My heart was pounding, my head was throbbing and I really had to use the bathroom. For a second, I had to figure out which matter was more important. How about starting with the man in the room! I thought to myself.
I looked up to find Jacob Black, standing there in nothing but a towel with dripping wet hair and droplets of water cascading down his dark skin. I eyed the droplets as they trailed down his eight pack. This had to be a dream. It was another one of my fantasies. "This can't be real," I told myself out loud.
He was smirking at me. "How do you feel?" he asked.
"Like someone took those things Claire made me put on my feet last night and stabbed them into my head over and over."
Jacob laughed and walked closer to me by the bed. I moved back, but he was only getting me a bottle of water from the night stand. "I figured. That's why I brought you this when I got up this morning." He handed me two extra strength Tylenol. His hand lightly brushed mind and shocked me back to reality. I felt like someone had dashed cold water onto me. I was about to speak when he said, "Pills first, then we'll talk, and you probably have to use the bathroom because I know you didn't break the seal at all last night or this morning."
I did as he said and went straight to the bathroom. As I sat there, I tried to make sense of what he had said. I know you didn't break the seal last night or this morning? How would he know what I did last night or this morning…Oh God…we didn't? Did we? I took my time washing my hands and trying to calm my nerves. What on Earth did I do last night?
When I walked out, I found that he had put on some jeans…still no shirt to my delight and dismay. "Hi," I managed lamely, looking at my feet.
"You have questions?" He got right to the point as he took a seat on my bed. Jacob patted the spot beside him but then said, "Or you could sit in my lap. I think you thoroughly enjoyed that last night."
My cheeks were hot. I couldn't believe this. "What else did I do last night?"
His eyes were alight with amusement as he recanted, "We danced…and then you got sick, and I took you home. You couldn't undress yourself so I had to do it –"
"Wait…what? You undressed me?" I distinctly remembered not being able to wear a bra with that dress, so I knew he saw my…everything.
"Calm down, it's no big deal. I didn't want you to wake up uncomfortable in that dress."
"Oh…well thanks."
"No problem. Bella used to babysit me; it's only fair that I return the favor."
Irrationally, I jumped up almost straddling him and put my finger to his lips. "Mom and Dad can't know about this, okay?" I freaked, not wanting my parents to ever find out about this.
I felt a tingle of electricity starting at my fingertips and travelling down my body ending at my toes as his breath caressed my finger. His hand instinctively went to my hip. He stared at me, curiosity in his eyes. Jacob's free hand went out to skim his fingertips over my cheek.
"You're not anything like I remember," he said softly when I let my finger slide from his lips to rest my hand on his bare shoulder.
I didn't know how to take that. I didn't know if it was an insult or a compliment. "That's because you only remember me as little Nessie."
My heart was pounding as his gaze never wavered from mine. At some point, we had gotten so close that our foreheads were touching. I wanted so badly to kiss him. I could almost feel his lips against mine. I could almost feel that hand that rested on my hip, moving up the curve of my body and under my shirt to cup my bare breasts. Involuntarily, I bit my lip at just the prospect.
"You're definitely not little anymore," he whispered, eyes on my lips.
He leaned toward me stopping before his lips touched mine. I had never been so close to him, had never been able to touch him. I always admired from a distance, but now I had the opportunity that I discounted as impossible.
"Did we…kiss…last night?" I whispered as well.
"No, but I want to now."
"Why didn't you last night?"
"Because I didn't want to take advantage of you like that. I'm very attracted to you¸ and I wish you'd stop stalling and kiss me."
I touched my lips to his and it felt almost heavenly to kiss this man. For years, I fantasized this moment and here it was. His lips were slow and careful against mine. I repositioned myself so that I was straddling him and placed my arms around his neck as the tip of his tongue begged for entrance into my mouth, and I complied. Just as I'd imagined, Jacob's warm hand trailed painstakingly slowly up my shirt, but he stopped just before reaching my breasts.
"Touch me, touch me," I almost begged against his lips.
I felt him smile. "That's what you said last night, too."
His thumbs brushed over my nipples and they reacted instantly, hardening at his touch. A moan escaped me as he repeated the motion again and again before he cupped my breasts, kneading them. I had completely lost myself in this lust filled moment.
"Jake, wha…t's up, Ren?" A very familiar voice said, startling me.
I tried to quickly move away from Jake, but all I ended up doing was falling on the floor beside the bed with a thump. Both men came around to make sure I was okay, to which I threw up a hand. "I'm fine."
This was certainly awkward. The familiar voice was Seth's. They were standing there looking down at me and I was helplessly looking up at them. It left me to wonder in what world would the guy you lost your virginity to walk in on you and one of his best friends having a hot and heavy petting session. We were all silent for a few seconds.
"Ren, I haven't seen you since…"
"Yeah, that summer. It's been years, huh? How are you?" I asked out of courtesy as Jacob helped me up.
"Good. Doing great. I'm about to graduate this May actually." He was making small talk.
Jacob cleared his throat, feeling out of place I guess. "Well, it looks like there's something the two of you need to talk about, so I'll let you talk."
"Jacob…wait!" Jacob didn't listen. He just retreated out the door. I needed to talk to him a lot more than I needed to talk to Seth. Seth and I fooling around wasn't serious at all. I was sixteen and he was nineteen. It was during a time that I had a mini rebellious phase. I was tired of being so good and Seth was hanging out with – more like babysitting – me and Claire one summer. Of course, Claire was all for me finally turning in my V-card. It was awkward, weird and painful and he was a virgin too so there was plenty of fumbling, but there were no hard feelings after the deed was done. We had done it plenty of times that summer, but in the end, he went back to college with us both having the understanding that it was just a summer experiment.
I smiled at him timidly and we hugged. "It's been too long, Ren." He pulled back to look at me, smirking. "So you like Jake, huh?"
"Yeah, a little."
"That looked like more than a little to me." He raised an eyebrow.
I pushed him out of the room so that I could shower and get dressed. As soon as I walked out of the bathroom, my cell buzzed with a text message.
Hurry up. Karaoke and lunch in 20 –Claire
Yeah, yeah. Coming down in a few.
I dressed in a light blue, short sleeve button down shirt that I tucked into a metallic silver skirt. It had a solid color grey waist band and a zipper in the back. I completed it with light blue strappy heels. My intentions of straightening my hair for the day had been thwarted by the very short time limit I was on to get ready, so I pulled it into a low ponytail that hung over my right shoulder. Claire was miniskirt and halter clad, draped over Quil – Jacob's other best friend – on the couch.
Suddenly, I assessed the living situation. Jacob and his friends weren't just visiting; they were staying here for the week, too. That brought the total to five boys and two girls living here. That ratio would not make my parents happy at all. I just hoped they never found out or I'd never hear the end of it.
"Morning, sunshine," Claire said brightly.
"No yelling please."
"Ren, you're wearing entirely too much clothing for this vacation. I said we were going to karaoke not to a boardroom."
Before I had the chance to defend my style, Jacob said, "I like what she's wearing. It's leaves more to the imagination."
I felt myself blushing again. "Jacob, can I talk to you for a second?"
"Can't you talk to him over lunch? I'm starving," Collin protested.
Leave it to Claire to find the one restaurant with karaoke twenty-four/seven. It was apparently very popular as it was nearly passing its capacity. There were people outside on the deck and an abundance of people inside, watching others publicly make fools of themselves in karaoke. Claire made a point to sit by Quil, and I wondered what that was all about. I was sitting between Brady and Seth and Jacob was across from me. We all went the extremely unhealthy route and ordered burgers and fries. After we ate, everyone started taking turns on stage. I hated being the center of attention so singing in this large crowd was a big fat no for me.
"Why don't you give it a try, Nessie? We've all done it." Jacob winked at me.
"No. Absolutely not going to happen."
"I bet if I picked you up and put you on stage you'd have no choice."
"You wouldn't dare," I called his bluff.
Without a word, he grabbed me, picking me up out of my chair, and carried me to the stage. He put me on my feet and began to cheer very enthusiastically for me to sing, causing the other bar patrons to join in. I snatched the microphone off the stand and picked a song. Jacob was about to leave the stage when I stopped him. There was no way in heck he was leaving me up here alone.
The music started up and I couldn't believe I was going to do this. Jacob stood off to the side with a raised eyebrow. As I started singing Rock God by Selena Gomez, I eyed him and winked. This song held so much significance to me at this moment. I was essentially to good girl of the bunch, but every time Jacob was around I found myself doing things I wouldn't normally do. He broke me out of my shell little by little. I strutted to the beat of the music over to Jacob, pulling him to the center of the stage. I circled him with my hand brushing his chest and back. When I was back in front of him, and facing the crowd, I grinded against him. I turned, hooking my leg around his hip and leaned back and he sensed that I wanted him to dip me. Jacob dipped me in a semi circle and snapped me back up close to his chest. I finished the song looking deep into his eyes. His hand still rested on my lower back and the other still held my thigh that was hooked around his waist. The crowd had erupting with applause, but I registered it as merely background noise.
"What do you say we get out of here?" He leaned down to my ear and asked.
I just nodded and followed him off stage. Jacob returned to his seat at the table and shortly after excused himself to the bathroom with a wink to me. After he left the table, I sat there for exactly three minutes before I excused myself. He was waiting in the corner of the hall and I walked straight into his arms as if I had been doing it all the time.
My lips crashed into his and our lips moved frantically against one another's as if we couldn't get enough. Jacob kissed me fervently with so much feeling that I was being scorched by his passion. I wanted him so badly, right now right here.
"Bathroom," I said between kisses.
"No," he protested.
"What?" I pulled away getting a hold of myself.
"I would like nothing more than to have my way with you in that bathroom right now. In fact, I have been considering it since you got on stage, but you're not that kind of girl."
"I am…well I can be…I will be," I tried to assure him.
"When I finally get to see you completely naked, get to touch your soft skin, let my tongue trail down every inch of your body and hear those moans I heard last night on the dance floor, it won't be here. Not like this. I respect you more than that."
Jacob had an amazing way with words and I was thoroughly speechless. His little speech only made me want him more, but I controlled myself and thought about other things.
"Wait…what exactly did you mean when you said moans you heard on the dance floor?"
He smirked but said nothing more on the subject. We walked back to our table together, ignoring the curious glances and the knowing grins. After we arrived, the group was ready to return to the house.
The next day, Claire switched rooms so that she and Quil could "get to know each other better". Jacob was now my roommate for the rest of the week. He was lying in bed after we all had spent the day at the beach when I came out of the shower in pajamas ready for bed. I got into my bed and he propped up on his elbow, facing me with a smile. "Come over here," he invited.
In spite of myself, I smiled and joined him in bed. His arms encircled me and he kissed my forehead. We were facing each other. "You know I don't dance."
I frowned. "But you have…twice."
"And both times it has been with you. I'm not really that great at it, so I don't do it."
I was at a loss because I loved dancing. Rolling out of his arms, I held out my hand to him. "Come on. Get up. We're going to dance. If we're going to be…friends, you're going to learn to dance. I may need a dance partner again at some point this week."
"But there's no music," he complained as he stood, following me to the middle of the room.
"We don't need music, just follow me."
I smiled, placing my arms around his neck and he placed his around my waist as we began to sway. We started with a simple side to side slow dance, but before long I was teaching him to waltz. My toes hated me as they would occasionally get crushed, though I didn't mind because I was having fun. He even managed to spin me effectively. When he let me out of his grasp on one spin, I did a few ballet steps to which he smiled.
"You're good at that."
"I took dance for fifteen years. At one point I wanted to be a dancer."
"But you're Pre-med?" He cocked an eyebrow at me.
"It made my dad happy that I followed in his footsteps." I shrugged, dancing back over to him.
He seemed to be deep in thought as we resumed our waltz. Once he had gotten the hang of it, he was great. Jacob didn't step on my toes again. He even made daring moves and dipped me. When he brought me back up, my face was so close to his. Jacob's eyes searched mine as he asked, "What did you want to do?"
"I couldn't be a dancer forever, so medicine was the better choice," I defended myself because I knew what he was thinking.
"You avoided the question, but I'll leave it for now."
"What do you do now?" I changed the subject.
"I'm an auto mechanics teacher in Colorado. The high school was out on Spring Break so I figured why not get together with the guys again. I didn't know that you and Claire would be here, but I'm glad you are."
"Me to," I admitted, and he leaned down capturing my lips.
I sighed against Jacob, realizing that my hands had fisted his shirt as he kissed me senseless. "Well, we better get to sleep," I said, moving away from him and hating myself for doing so. Why did I always have to think about things before I did them?
I tried to make my way toward my bed, but Jacob wouldn't let me go. He led me toward his bed, where we cuddled, kissed and talked for the rest of the night.
Today was the sixth day of our vacation. I had no clue what Claire had in store today. I woke to her knocking on the door and barging right in before I could say that she could enter. I was still wrapped in Jacob's arms, and she took that in with a grin.
"How was it?" she asked.
"How was what?"
"The sex!"
"Shh!" I carefully slid out of bed and went downstairs with Claire.
"Well," she pressed.
"I wouldn't know. I haven't done anything with him yet, and might I say it's killing me. Every time I think we will, I pull away or he pulls away."
"Well, slow poke, Quil and I have been fucking like it's going out of style. You two better get to moving fast. Tomorrow is our last day."
"What's Quil doing now?" I asked to change the subject.
"He owns his own restaurant in Vegas, which is great. He's not too far away."
"So you plan to see him again?"
"Hells yeah! Quil is awesome. Don't you plan to see Jacob?" She frowned as if the answer should have been obvious.
"I don't know. We haven't talked about it, and he's a lot older and he lives in Colorado. That's so far away." Claire was shaking her head the entire time I was talking. "What?"
"You always do this. You think too much. Don't miss out on something wonderful because you're over thinking, Ren," she advised before skipping back upstairs to go see if Quil was finally awake.
I thought over that while I cooked breakfast for everyone. While I was bending over to get eggs out of the refrigerator, I felt hands on my hips and the heat of a body only inches from mine. "What a wonderful sight to see first thing this morning," Jacob said.
I stood, almost dropping the eggs, but his grip on my hips didn't falter. He just brought his body closer to mine so that he could place feather light kisses down my neck. I leaned back against him, letting out a moan as his mouth worked wonders. One of his hands had moved to my stomach, fisting my t-shirt. The sexual tension between us was driving me insane, and I knew he knew it. I yearned for him to touch my most intimate places and claim me as his if just for one night.
"There's talk upstairs of a hot body contest on the beach, but I have other plans for you and me. If that's okay?" His husky tone flowed seductively like Niagara Falls on a hot summer day.
"Mmhhm." I managed as he nibbled on my earlobe.
"What's for breakfast?" Brady asked, coming downstairs.
He startled me and I jumped forward. Trying to right my balance, I threw out my hands and ended up burning myself on the stove. That effectively ended any make out session that could have started with Jacob and me. "Bacon," I said before runningupstairs, embarrassed at how much of a spaz I could be sometimes.
After breakfast was over – and Jacob had made a point of kissing my hand to make it better – I went to get dressed. He wouldn't give me any indications as to what he had planned. I was only told that there might be dancing and to dress casual. I chose to wear a pink French Terry Hoodie dress and flats, and I was happy with my very casual choice when I saw him wearing a muscle shirt and basketball shorts. We must not have been going anywhere fancy.
We took Jacob's Jeep, riding with the top off and letting warmth from the sun saturate our skin and the wind breeze through our hair. He stopped in front a dance studio. I looked at him questioningly, and he told me that he had rented it for the day. I was instantly impressed.
Once inside, he said, "I snagged your iPod off the dresser. I figured there was bound to be music on her that you have routines to." I nodded, and he continued. "I really wanted to see you dance where there was room to move around and not in that cramped bedroom."
I couldn't help but smile. "Thank you."
As he hooked up my radio, I stretched. I select a few songs and did a couple of dance routines and then I taught him how to Salsa and Merengue. Most of the songs I played were rock or pop songs, and I knew that wasn't his style. From the music Jacob used to listen to in his garage, I knew he liked more rap and hip hop.
"I know this is more your style."
I flipped through my playlist to find a Drake song. "I know way too many people here right now that I didn't know last year," Jacob began to rap the opening chorus of the song, Over, as I did one of my hip hop routines to the song.
He was gearing up for the first verse when I said, "Bottles on me, long as someone drink it. Never drop the ball, freak are y'all thinkin'? Makin' sure the Young Money ship is never sinkin'. 'Bout to set it off, set it off, Jada Pinkett. I shouldn't have drove, tell me how I'm gettin' home. You too fine to be layin' down in bed alone." As I said the last line, I ran my hand down Jacob's chest and abs, winking at him.
He stood with his mouth open before a big cheesing grin crossed his face. "I never thought I would meet the perfect girl, but I see it's you."
At that moment, butterflies began their merciless attack on my stomach, and I was giddy at the compliment but cool on the surface. He took me in his arms and we danced to the next song that played. "Where to next?" I asked.
"I was thinking that we could head home since we have the house to ourselves for the rest of the day."
Jacob and I talked about trivial things all the way home, but as soon as we were out of the car, in the house and the door was closed we couldn't keep our hands off of each other. We were only a few feet from the door when he picked me up, and I fisted my hands into his hair. I kissed him hungrily, needing as much of him as he would give. Our tongues dueled, twirled and danced as he took us upstairs. When we reached the room, he put me on my feet. Jacob immediately pulled my dress over my head. I was thankful that I anticipated this and had worn seductive lacey blue underwear. His fingers lightly traced the swell of my breasts, trailed down my stomach and to the waist band of my panties, toying with it. He followed the band all the way to my back, moving up to my bra and unhooking it. Jacob pulled the straps down my shoulders and let it fall between us. He just admired what had been revealed to him before getting on his knees and slowly sliding off my panties with his teeth. His lips trailed up my right leg and inner thigh before he lifted it and placed it over his shoulder. Jacob's tongue circled my sensitive bundle of nerves and the knee that was supporting most of my weight almost buckled. His hands went to my hips to secure me as his tongue did astounding things to me. My body felt like it had turned to jelly as I climaxed.
When Jacob kissed me, I tasted myself on his lips and tongue, which was another thing that turned me on. He carried me to bed where I took off his shirt and shorts, stroking his penis…no, penis sounds so formal. His member? Definitely not! His…his…cock. There, I'd thought it!
Jacob kissed my cheek. "What are you thinking about?" he asked.
"Your…cock."
I saw him bite his lip when I said that. "What about it?" Jacob was situated between my legs, still boxer clad, as he grinded against me.
I didn't speak, but instead moaned. He repeated the action once more, driving me insane with need. He leaned over and opened the nightstand, coming out with a condom. Jacob took off his boxers and was about to put it on when I said, "Let me." I slowly rolled the condom down his shaft. He entered me slowly and began to thrust in and out at that same unhurried pace. We shared kisses, nips, and caresses for quite some time. Jacob handled my body with care, as if I would break. He made me feel special, and his hands paid attention to every part of my body. Jacob was a man of patience. He moved slowly as if he was savoring the moment, and he didn't rush a thing. Eventually, his pace quickened, building me up to my second climax, and I came screaming his name. Jacob's climax wasn't far behind. His face was pressed into the crook of my neck, biting me as he came.
We showered together, then we went downstairs and he fixed us sandwiches for lunch. After we ate, we cuddled on the couch watching TV. I wanted to feel bad for the fact that the make out session lead to fooling around on the couch but I couldn't because Jacob made me feel wonderful. He did things to my body that no man had ever done. He made me feel not just with my body but with my heart. Foolishly, I was falling for him.
That night, there was no question as to whose bed I would sleep in. I immediately got into bed with Jacob. Before we went to sleep I snuggled close to him, looking into his eyes. He smiled down at me. "Tonight is our last night together," I whispered.
He placed his hand to my lips. "We'll talk about it in the morning," he replied, wrapping his arms around me, kissing my forehead and closing his eyes.
I couldn't just leave it for the morning. The thought consumed me. How could I ever sleep thinking that this would all be over in the morning? Sleep didn't come that night. Instead, I watched Jacob sleep while I tried to memorize everything about him and everything about these few days with him. Morning would come soon and I would be back in the harsh reality of my life.
When I heard voices and stirring downstairs, I got up and got dressed. Claire and Collin were making breakfast, which meant none of it would be edible. Claire was all smiles this morning as she and Collin had a mini food fight in the kitchen. She noticed me as I came down the stairs. "Well, you're dressed appropriately for the beach, but something is off. What's wrong?"
"I'm fine. Just a little sleepy is all." I sank down on the couch flipping on the television. I felt so down that I didn't know how to fight my way out of this fog.
"Oh, Jakers kept you up all night, huh?" She winked and Collin made a dirty joke, but I didn't register any of it.
Soon, Jacob and the rest of the boys had made their way downstairs. He wore a frown and his hair was messy as he looked around the room. When he found me, the corners of his mouth turned into a smile. He joined me on the couch, wrapping an arm around me and kissing me good morning. I would definitely miss that. We both were silently watching TV until it was time pack our cars and head to the beach one last time.
I sat on my beach towel, watching everyone play in the water. My mind was consumed with thoughts of Jacob, and my eyes ached with unshed tears that threatened to fall at any moment. I knew that this would be the moment we talked about things as soon as Jacob walked my way, holding out his hand to help me up. Holding hands, we walked back toward the beach entrance away from everyone else.
"This is it." I sadly smiled up at him.
"Yeah, but I don't want this to be the last time I see you. I want to see you again – a lot more actually."
"Jacob." I sighed. "Ninety percent of long distance relationships fail." I watched as his face fell. "I like you…a lot, but you're in Colorado. You have your career and your life there. I'm in Washington, trying to get what you have. Maybe had I been at another place in my life this would have worked, but now…"
"So this is goodbye…for good?"
As if on cue, Claire and the gang had caught up to us. "Are you ready to hit the road?" she asked me.
"Sure," I said, fighting back the tears and walking past Jacob toward my car.
The car ride home went past in one long blur. I spent the majority of it in the backseat with my head against the window, watching the scenery zoom by. Occasionally, tears would fall or someone would ask me a question, but I wouldn't answer. After Claire dropped the boys off, she took me home and spent the night with me. That night my cell phone vibrated with a text message.
I think I might love you. –Jake
That brought on sobs that lasted for hours. How could it be possible for us to have a long distance relationship when all I wanted to was to be near him? I couldn't handle the distance and only seeing him once or twice every few months. It would kill me not to be in his arms at night when I slept or for him not to be the first person I saw when I woke up – if not every night, some nights. Neither of us had the time to take weeks at a time off.
I showed Claire the text message and she sat up in bed. "Oh, honey, no one ever said love was perfect. No one ever said it would be neat or convenient like you like things. Sometimes you just have to risk it all. If you're not willingly to put yourself on the line for your feelings, maybe it's not love." This was one of the only times Claire had ever been remotely insightful.
I let her words sink in as I fell asleep. I wouldn't even have her to comfort me after this because I had to drop her off at the airport the next morning. When the time came, I was teary eyed and sad again. This time it was because I was saying goodbye to my best friend.
"No, none of those mushy tears and heartfelt goodbyes. You know I hate that," Claire said with unshed tears building in her own eyes. She hugged me. "I love you, Ren, and I'll call you as soon as I get there. Let me know what you decided to do about Jacob."
I watched her until she was out of sight. Soon after, I left the airport and headed back to campus. Though I was surprised at how long it was taking me to get there. I had dropped Claire off at the airport in Seattle so it shouldn't have taken long to get back to school. I couldn't believe that I had been driving for hours, aimlessly across states until I realized where my mind had been leading me.
While I was driving, I assessed my life. I thought that I was happy. I had everything a girl could ask for. I was blessed with wonderful, loving parents, an amazing best friend, and I was going to be a doctor someday. That was when I realized I wasn't so happy after all. Something in my life had been missing. With my destination in mind, I typed it into my GPS, and I was Denver, Colorado bound.
Almost twenty-four hours later, with absolutely no sleep and a few potty breaks, I pulled up at the high school at which Jacob was teaching. I hopped out of the car, almost running toward the entrance. I knew he was there because I had seen his Jeep parked in the faculty lot. My heart soared at just the sight.
At the front office, I was greeted by a friendly secretary named Glenda. "Can I help you, dear?" she asked.
"Yes, could I see Mr. Black please?"
She looked at the clock on the wall. "He's just started class. Is there anything I could help you with?"
"No, ma'am. This is an emergency." I had embellished the truth, but I didn't care. I was finally taking control of my life and not thinking before I leapt into the unknown.
Glenda buzzed him relaying what I had said. My heart pounded when I heard his voice on the other end saying that he would be right there. As soon as I heard that, I went out into the hall with Glenda calling me back. I didn't care if it wasn't procedure for strangers to roam the halls. I just wanted to see him. I didn't know which direction he would come from so I looked to all the hall entrances.
To my surprise, he had come in from the outside entrance. "Mr. Black, there is a young lady in the hall that requested to see you. She said there was some sort of emergency," Glenda told him.
My heart was in my throat as I heard his footsteps quickly walking toward me. My back was to him and I had on a white UW hoodie. "Is there a problem?" Jacob asked when he reached me.
"Yes," I said, turning around. "I made a mistake, and the truth is I think I might be falling in love with you too."
Jacob's eyes searched mine for a moment before he asked, "What does this mean?"
I sighed. "It means that I have two more years of Undergrad in Seattle, four years of Grad school, and quite a few years of Residency before I can start my career, but I was hoping that despite those things you would be willing to give me another try?" I asked hopefully. "Once I graduate, I can do my graduate studies anywhere. Maybe even the University of Denver."
"You would do that for me?" I nodded. "What about the fact that ninety percent of all long distance relationships fail?"
"If I can't handle being away from you, I'll put it all on the line and leap into the unknown. I'll relocate. There are plenty of colleges and my grades are so good that I would get into any of them, but there is only one shot at love. I almost missed it the first time, and I don't want to miss it again. I'm making this grand gesture to show you that I can forget the obstacles and just focus on us, if you'll have me."
Jacob leaned down toward me but quickly straightened his posture. Without a word, he led me outside and smiled. "No PDA allowed in the halls." He wrapped his arms around me, his hands oil stained, and he picked me up, proceeding to kiss me senseless.