A/N: This is a re-post of an earlier story from two or three years ago, touched up and with the characters changed slightly to reflect how my opinions of them changed over the years.
I may or may not post a sequel to this story, Scorpius's point of view, which may or may not then be followed by Rose's point of view and/or Lorcan's point of view. We'll see what reception this story gets, I guess.
Anyway, enjoy!
~Star
XXXX
She was in hell.
It was a beautiful summer day, the sun high overhead and the smell of roses in the air. It was the perfect day.
In twos and threes, the guests began to arrive, filing through the archway into the garden and taking their seats on the flower strewn benches. Everyone was dressed in white and black and gold, to match the theme of the wedding. Lily herself was wearing the most gorgeous dress she had ever owned, all gold with white lace every here and there. It looked like a princess dress, or a fairy's dress, frothy and floaty and seemingly spun from the finest threads of molten gold and spider silk, and Lily should only have been grateful to Rose for not foisting the typical bridesmaid's horror on her.
But nothing could improve her mood, not on this day. She felt sick, liable to faint or puke at any moment. If she could only get through this day…
…then she would be miserable for the rest of her life. Because a marriage did not last for just one day. A wedding did, but the marriage would last forever and ever, till death do us part. He would be forever out of her reach after this day.
And she had to stand there and keep a smile pasted on her face and pretend to be happy for the couple as she watched the love of her life marry not just someone else, but her own cousin.
If this wasn't hell, she didn't know what was.
Looking at his gleaming blond hair and too-handsome face, she thought she was going to cry. All of this should've been hers, could've been if only she'd spoken up sooner. She could've been the one dressed in white, gracefully walking down the aisle to meet him, the man of her dreams…they could've had a life together, filled with smiles and sunlight, laughter and love, tied together for the rest of their lives by bands of gold around their fingers and one glorious day in the summer sun. If only she hadn't waited so long. If only she weren't such a coward.
And soon he would be gone.
Tears threatened to fall, but Lily refused to let them. She would look happy today, no matter what the cost. Rose deserved this. She deserved him. She deserved her perfect day, after that whole mess between her and Scorpius two years ago…
"Rosie, what happened?"
The older girl looked at her cousin, seeming to hardly notice what she was looking at, and burst into tears.
Rose never cried.
Something must be seriously wrong.
Lily rushed over and put her arms around the girl, rubbing her back soothingly and rocking her slightly, hoping to calm her down. Lily just let her cry for a while, but as the tears seemed to be drying up, her curiosity and concern overcame her. She drew back and gave her cousin a searching look.
"Rose, what's wrong? What happened?"
Wiping at her nose, Rose sniffled and met Lily's gaze with a broken look. "Scorpius…" she whispered, before breaking into a fresh wave of tears.
Oh no.
Rose and Scorpius were Hogwarts' clichéd couple, Head Boy and Girl, the smartest students in their year. After six years of arguments and competitions, snide remarks and carefully hidden jealousy, they were forced to work together. The passion that had always been present had exploded with unnatural force, bringing the two of them together, just as everyone had known would happen eventually.
After that, Rose and Scorpius were practically inseparable. Both families were delighted the two had found happiness, if not quite so pleased about who with, and it had seemed like a fairytale right up until Rose started crying.
Clearly, the fairytale had come to a not-so-happy ending, and Lily couldn't help but feel a wave of pity for her cousin.
Rose had never said anything more about that day, but Scorpius didn't come around anymore after that. And for the longest time she went around alone, desolate and inconsolable, separate from all that had been her life before.
She didn't return to semi-normal until the Weasley family and friends began trying to cheer her up, and still there were huge parts of her missing. Nothing seemed to work very well.
Then, for whatever reason, Rose attached herself to Lorcan Scamander.
Lily's best friend.
And it was all over.
Their story was like another fairytale, the handsome prince rescuing the beautiful princess from her tower of grief, riding off into the sunset in a carriage made of silk and pearls. Yes, Lorcan was taken aback at first. But he was hardly reluctant. Things progressed naturally, if a bit quickly, and no one was really surprised when the engagement was announced.
No one but Lily, that is, who was still hoping against hope that Lorcan would look at her one day and realize what she had known for years and they could still have their happy ending.
Why did Rose get to be the princess over and over again? Why was Lily always just the plain little girl listening to the story and dreaming of a prince of her own?
She squelched the thought with a spurt of guilt. After Scorpius, Rose deserved whatever happiness she could find. She deserved this day. She deserved Lorcan, Lily reminded herself one more time.
Nevertheless, a solitary tear trickled down her cheek as she gazed at the man she'd always intended to have forever. He watched at the flower girl, walking sedately down the aisle, scattering petals in anticipation of the bride. He looked so cool and utterly remote, staring at the door his future would walk through in just moments.
Then his eyes flicked towards her, their gazes catching and holding. She gave him as much of a smile as she could manage, and he gave a brittle one in return. Some emotion flickered across his features and disappeared, gone before she could identify it.
He turned his head away and disappointment knifed through her, cutting her heart open once more.
She hadn't known she could still bleed.
More tears pooled in her eyes, but still she refused to shed them, refused to ruin Rose's day, refused to let them fall, she wouldn't let them fall…
A warm hand touched her elbow, bringing her attention to the man next to her.
Lysander. Best man, brother to the groom, and the only one who knew her secret.
Eyes filled with sadness, he bent down to whisper in her ear. "Lily. This goes too far."
She just looked at him, allowing all of her regret to fill her face.
He sighed. "Lils. I know you, and I know my brother. This isn't what either of you wants. This isn't right."
No. No, he couldn't be trying to give her hope in this eleventh hour when all would be lost in just moments. She'd given up on hope already, had sworn off the drug that caused her so much pain. She wouldn't let him do this to her, not again.
"You have to do something."
His words entered her ears, then her brain, then her heart, stirring up trouble wherever they went.
She tried to focus back on the wedding, on the steady beat of the organ and on Rose's inevitable journey forward toward Lily's destruction, and tried not to show how the idea took root inside her and began to grow.
Do something.
Now.
It was such a forbidden idea, but so tempting.
Do something.
Don't let this happen. Ruin your cousin's wedding and steal away the groom and run off with the love of your life… maybe it wasn't too late to save her fairytale.
But she couldn't.
But she had to.
Such turmoil inside her, the idea clashing around with all of her morals and scruples and yearnings and hopes, creating volatile bubbles that bounced around madly inside her that couldn't possible harm anyone else.
Until one popped out.
"Stop."
It was barely more than a squeak. No one but Lysander had even heard. She wanted to gag herself, watching Lorcan greet Rose at the altar with a kind smile. They turned to the official, and the ceremony began.
Lysander gave her elbow a comforting squeeze, and another bubble leapt out of her mouth.
"Stop." Louder this time.
Now Lorcan heard her, she could see his shoulders tense. And Rose heard, too, and started to turn towards her.
But the official said something and gestured, and Lorcan grasped one of Rose's hands to slide a ring onto her finger.
It was not enough. Rose turned to return the action, something Lily knew now she would never willingly let her do.
"I said, stop!" she cried, anguish filling her voice and echoing across the audience and up into the empty sky.
And they did.
Everyone stopped, and turned towards her, family, cousins, and friends alike. Shock filled their faces, and betrayal, and she gulped, no longer sure of how to proceed.
Then she looked at Lorcan, and suddenly she had the words.
"It's always been you," she said, eyes glinting with more tears and focused only on him. "All these years, there's never been anyone for me but you. And I've meant to tell you for so long, but I never did, and then there was Rose…"
His eyes never left hers, though he did flinch slightly at the mention of his fiancée.
Who was standing a mere yard away, mouth gaping open and an absolutely stricken look on her face.
Lily couldn't quite bring herself to care just then, not with Lorcan looking at her the way he was.
So she continued. "There was never a good time to say it after that, and I thought I could do this, I really did. I thought I could stand here and be happy for you while I watched you marry my cousin but it turns out I can't, I just can't, and I'm so sorry…" She broke off, tears clogging her throat and spilling down her face as they had been threatening to do all day. She turned away from them, from all of them, away from her family who looked at her with hurt in their eyes, and ran.
Out through the garden, across the yard, down the path to a tiny alcove holding a stone bench, half hidden under the drooping branches of a willow. There she sat, and there she cried, grieving for all that had gone before.
Lorcan would never be hers.
Why couldn't she just accept that? But no, she just had to go and wreck her own cousin's wedding needlessly, creating so much drama she would never live it down.
Everyone would hate her now.
Lost in self recrimination and pity, she didn't hear the footsteps coming down the path. In fact, she didn't even know someone else was there with her until a warm hand pressed onto her shoulder, turning her around.
Through her tear-blurred eyes, she saw a black tuxedo and blond, blond hair.
"Go away, Lysander. I don't want your pity."
He didn't do as she asked. Instead he sat down on the bench beside her and pulled her into his arms. Tired of protesting, she snuggled into his hold, pressing her face into the crook of his shoulder and inhaling deeply.
That doesn't smell like Lysander's cologne…
He spoke, rough voice rumbling in his chest beneath her. "Never thought I'd see the day you couldn't tell us apart."
His statement took a few moments to sink in, but when it did she jerked back out of his arms, blinking furiously to clear her vision.
He sat there in front of her, looking more gorgeous than anyone had a right to.
"Lorcan?" Her voice cracked.
He smiled, holding his arms out for her to return to.
She scrambled back, desperate to place more distance between her and the forbidden temptation of his embrace.
He wasn't hers. He never had been.
"You're supposed to be getting married," she said loudly. Accusingly.
The smile disappeared, replaced with a look of infinite sadness. "No, I'm not."
"Yes, you are."
"No, Lils, I'm not." He scooted forward, grabbing her hands in his before she could pull them away. "How could I, after what just happened in there? After what you said to me?"
Oh god, it was her fault. She'd known it would be, but to be confronted with it so immediately was almost more than she could bear. It was all her fault…it was all she could do to keep from crying again. But this was too important to miss.
"Lorcan, what are you doing out here with me? You should be in there with Rose." She tried to pull away from him, but he yanked her back on her hands so she fell against his chest.
Even if he hadn't trapped her hands behind her back, she couldn't have found the will to push him away again. It just felt too right.
He sighed into her hair, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. She felt his lips tingle all the way down her spine. "Lily, don't you know?"
She buried herself deeper in his arms, unwilling to hear anymore. Not wanting to feel the burn of crushed hopes one. More. Time.
He continued anyway, using her words from before. "Lily, it's always been you. All these years, no matter what, there's never really been anyone for me but you."
She lifted her head, suddenly not afraid to hear more, and he continued. "But, you never said anything. And so I thought you would never be mine, never want to be mine. And Rose was hurting so bad, and I just wanted to help her feel better, I never meant to let it go so far, but I just couldn't…" He pulled her in even closer, but she pushed him back, peering into his eyes.
"What?" she whispered, voice breaking. "What are you saying?"
His eyes never left her face. "I'm saying I'm sorry, Lily. I am so sorry that we screwed this up so badly, that I'm such a coward. I'm sorry for all the hurt I've caused you. I'm sorry that it took years of heartbreak and an almost-wedding just for me to be able to say I love you. And I'm sorry that even then, you had to be the one to risk everything for me when I never gave you anything in return."
She had just ruined her cousin's wedding. She shouldn't be allowed to feel this good, and she said so.
His face fell at the mention of the wedding. "Oh, god," he said in a subdued voice. "I just walked out of my own wedding. I just left Rose at the altar."
The full implications of this hit them, and a thick silence fell. Voices could be heard faintly in the background, clearly upset. Lily knew she should feel beyond awful for her part in this debacle, but she just couldn't…
As if reading her mind, he spoke. "We ought to feel terrible."
"But we don't," she finished for him, finding the same guilt in his eyes as was in her own.
The voices seemed to be getting closer, and they could now distinguish their names being called with urgency. They looked at each other in panic for a moment, as someone could be heard, walking down the path.
Then Lorcan pulled her into his arms and stood up, cradling her against his chest. "Let's get out of here," he muttered, turning on the spot.
Mere moments of crushing pressure later, they stood on a platform in King's Cross Station.
She looked around, slipping down out of his arms. "Why here?"
He shrugged, ruffling his hair out of its uncomfortably smooth configuration. "Dunno. Just the first place I thought of, I guess."
"We look out of place here. This is ridiculous." She grabbed his arms and turned, gasping at the sudden sensation of being squeezed through a tube.
When the pressure released, they were standing in her apartment. Lily winced, suddenly aware of all of the crap cluttering up the rooms. The wedding preparation hadn't exactly left much time for cleaning…
Letting go of Lorcan's arm, Lily raised her wand and muttered a spell, blocking anyone else from entering the apartment without her permission. "There. No one can get it."
He just looked at her. "Lily, what are we doing?"
"Hiding."
"Why?"
"Because we just ruined my cousin's wedding! Because they will never ever forgive us and I just can't deal with this right now."
"No. I mean, what are we doing?"
Suddenly uncomfortable, she dropped her eyes. "I don't know."
"What do you want to do?"
That was easy. "Be with you."
"For how long?"
"Forever." Duh.
"Good." Lorcan grinned suddenly. "Then we can deal with the rest later."
She laughed, caught up in his good mood. "But Lorcan, we can't just stay holed up in my apartment for weeks!"
"I know. But…I've got a little villa on the coast of France for the next month."
"For your honeymoon." She knew it was true, knew it beyond a doubt when she saw his face fall ever so slightly.
Merlin, she felt like a manic depressive teenager today, with all the mood swings she was going through. She couldn't even begin to stabilize her emotions, not until they were well away from this whole mess.
And the best option right now was to go on Lorcan's honeymoon with him. A prospect she couldn't exactly be disappointed about…
"Let's go. Let's just stay there for a while, no one will know and no one will bother us. Please let's go."
She jumped up. "I'll have to pack!" Her attempt to run out of the room was foiled by Lorcan, slinging an arm around her waist and pulling her against him.
"Or… you could just wear what you've got on," he whispered into the nape of her neck, making shivers run down her spine.
She sighed at the pleasure she'd never thought she would get to experience. "But, this dress is too uncomfortable to wear all the time. And I'd look ridiculous running about the villa in this, anyway."
"You could just wear what you have on underneath it," he suggested helpfully, dragging his lips along her shoulder to her collarbone.
"I haven't got anything on underneath this, you rascal—" she broke off in a shriek as he swooped her up in his arms, startled by the sudden change in orientation.
He grinned down at her. "Not a problem."
Unable to help herself, she grinned back. "But what would I wear to the beach? People would have to see me naked. They might object to my clothing, or lack thereof. "
A hint of a scowl appeared. "No one else gets to see you naked, witch. You have five minutes to pack, and then we go, finished or not." He reluctantly let her slip from his arms.
"Yes, sir!" She saluted sarcastically, then dashed off into the bedroom, summoning a suitcase and beginning to throw clothes into it.
Five minutes later, he entered the room, just in time to see Lily wave her wand at the heap of clothing and mutter something before the suitcase enlarged and opened up to swallow the whole thing like a giant mouth, a suitcase-tongue somehow appearing to fold and stack everything nicely. When the pile had been 'eaten,' the suitcase shrunk back to normal size, and seemed to let out a burp.
"There." She turned back to Lorcan, hands on her hips and smiling smugly. "All packed."
He held out his hand to her. "Then come on, princess, let's go!" She took his hand and they were off, whirling through space.
Seconds later, they stood in a deserted pavilion, surrounded by lush green trees with an almost oppressive sun overhead. Turning in a circle, Lily gaped at their surroundings. A path led off into a beautiful garden, while another led to a bridge across a small stream and on up to a cottage. "Lorcan, I thought you said you had a small villa here!"
Barely hiding a look of self-satisfied look, he spread his hands out in a plea of innocence. "Well, the cottage is small. Look at it."
"But the rest of the area is huge! Look at that garden!"
"Yes, well, there is that. But never mind the garden, let's go see the house." He grinned at her, remembering childhood games. "Race ya!" he shouted, taking off on the path.
"Hey! No fair, you cheater! She dashed after him, heedless of her dress and heels.
When she finally arrived at the door of the house, clutching her heels in one hand and holding the skirt of her gown up in the other, he was standing serenely, slouched against the doorframe. "Took you long enough, slowpoke," she said. "I've been waiting here for ages."
He laughed outright at that, then stood aside to allow her to enter, gesturing grandly inside. "Welcome to our humble abode."
She stepped in, and felt as if she'd fallen into a dream. The house was everything she'd said she wanted when she and Lorcan and Roxanne and Lysander used to daydream about their perfect houses. High ceilings, beautiful, sunny walls, lots of windows…it was too perfect to be a coincidence. She looked accusingly at Lorcan. "You planned this. For me."
Looking a bit wistful, he responded. "Yes and no. I truly meant for it to be for Rose, but I couldn't help thinking of you when I saw it, and I knew that this had to be the one. I guess I just can't keep you very far from my mind," he said with a sheepish smile.
She walked over and threw her arms around his neck. "It's perfect."
He laughed. "So you like it?"
"I love it."
"And I love you." He bent his head down and kissed her, the room dissolving away around them.
She sighed into his mouth. This was better than a happy ending: this was a happy beginning.
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Epilogue: One month later
The month had disappeared faster than either of them had expected, and neither was relishing the prospects of returning to their families.
Their families who were surely pretty darn upset about the whole wedding thing…
Lorcan sighed, and looked at Lily, standing next to her suitcase once more with an expression of apprehension on her face. He tried to offer a comforting smile, but ended up with more of a grimace. "Let's just get this over with, hey?"
She nodded, still looking faintly sick, and took his hand.
And they appeared back in London, in Lily's family's house. Her mother looked up, saw who it was, and immediately shouted for Harry to come. Lily's dad rushed in to the kitchen, took one look at them, and said only one thing.
"You have to go see Rose."
"Right now," her mother added helpfully. "Not that we're not delighted to see you two. You had everyone quite upset for a while, but then we figured that you're adults now, could take care of yourselves, and—"
"Ginny," Harry cut in, "Don't you think they should be going now?"
She sighed. "Well, yes. You see," she turned to Lily and Lorcan again, "It really would be best for you to get this sorted right away. I don't want any long drawn out issues or anything, none of us do, so you'd best get on it. Come back to see us after that!" she called after them, hoping to catch them before they were gone.
Harry looked at his wife. "Do you think we did the right thing?" he asked. "Sending them off right away, that is. Should we have given them a bit of a warning, or some time to adjust?"
Ginny considered it for a moment. "No," she said at last. "It's best this way, to just let them figure it all out right now, before feelings get any more repressed."
Harry sighed. "I do hope you're right. Otherwise…"
"Of course I'm right." She patted his back. "Just relax; they'll be back any minute now."
On Rose's doorstep, the couple paused. Lily sighed and looked up at Lorcan. "Do you want to, or shall I?" she asked, gesturing towards the door.
"I'll do it." Lorcan knocked three times, loudly, then stepped back, taking her hand in his and giving it a squeeze. "It'll be okay," he whispered, trying to comfort himself as much as he was trying to comfort her.
Footsteps could be heard inside, then the sound of a lock being undone. The door swung open to reveal—
"Scorpius?!"
In Rose's flat?!
He looked at them impassively. "Oh. It's you two. Rose!" he shouted back into the flat. "It's Lily and Lorcan!"
More footsteps could be heard, rushing from a distant room. And then Rose came into view, looking harried. She ran right through the door and up to them and then, much to their shock and consternation, she threw her arms around them and pulled them into a tight hug.
"Merlin, you're here! I've been meaning to talk to you, worrying about how you must be doing and I didn't want you to be upset or anything—"
Lily managed to pull out of the hug and step back. "Wait, you didn't want us to worry? Shouldn't it be the other way around? I mean, you're the one whose wedding we wrecked, whose heart we broke, whose life we ruined. We should be apologizing to you!"
Rose tsked. "See, this is exactly what I'm talking about. You didn't break my heart, you didn't ruin my life, alright so you did wreck my wedding but really, that was for the best anyway. You wouldn't believe what has happened while you've been gone."
Lorcan and Lily looked at each other, mystified. "No, we wouldn't," Lorcan said.
"It's all fixed," she said simply, wrapping an arm around Scorpius's shoulders as he pulled her in with an arm around her waist. "I don't quite know how, but somehow you two fixed us."
"It was that bloody wedding," Scorpius interjected. "It made us all realize what was right, and what was wrong. But Rose and I had a bit less courage than the two of you, and so we waited until you were gone to sort things out."
"Which made thanking you pretty difficult," Rose said, "As you were, by then, quite gone. Literally."
"Well, yes," Lorcan laughed awkwardly. "That was kind of the point. And you might be happy now, but I still feel bad… I shouldn't have left you, that wasn't…wasn't good of me…" he ruffled his hair, looking extremely uncomfortable.
"It's a good thing you did leave her, though," Scorpius stated frankly. "Otherwise, I might have decked you, and really, who needs blood on their tuxedo?"
They all laughed.
Lily looked at Rose. "So, it's really okay? You're not upset with us, or anything? Really?"
"Really," Rose laughed. "In fact, I should be thanking you."
Lorcan smiled. "No need. We're all happier this way, I think."
"Damn right," Scorpius said, kissing Rose full on the lips. When she showed no sign of pulling back, Lily figured it was time to go.
"Well, ah, nice to get this figured out…" she trailed off as neither of them gave any signs of recognizing she was speaking. Grabbing Lorcan's hand, she apparated them back to her flat before bursting into laughter.
Lorcan was chuckling too, a mix of relief and true happiness in the sound. "Looks like all of us are better off. I'm so glad Rose wasn't hurt." He pulled Lily towards him, tucking her into his chest.
"Me too," she said, snuggling further into his embrace. "You know what?"
"What?" he whispered in her ear, sending tingles down her spine.
She smiled against his chest. "I think we've all got our happily ever afters now."
"I know I have," he murmured, dropping kisses on the back of her neck. "Now, do you want to go see your parents now, or later?"
"Mm, later, I think." She turned her face up for a kiss.
He obliged, and she was glad all over again that he was hers.
"Well," he whispered against her lips, "we have forever."
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A/N: Well there it is! If you want to see a different point of view in the story, leave a review saying so!
Thanks for reading!
~Star