Disclaimer: I don't own Leverage, TNT and Dean Devlin do. So don't sue.

Part One: Everything But The Girl - I Miss You

Part Two: Third Eye Blind - Deep Inside of You

Part Three: X Ambassadors - Unsteady

CHAPTER ONE

Part One: I Miss You (Like The Deserts Miss The Rain)

Parker walked into the new and improved Leverage Headquarters – still located above McRory's Pub. She hadn't been there in years, yet it all still looked very much the same - right down to the faded red bricks and bright yellow lettering on the door.

They were all there waiting on her: the people she had once called family. However, unlike the families of her dreams, this one had grown up and gotten bigger. Pushing her off to the sidelines.

Leaving them behind had been the hardest thing she had ever done. But the team had undergone so many changes that fleeing seemed the only course of action. Strange as it seemed, it all came down to babies. Babies ruined everything. As soon as Nate knocked up Sophie, everything went from bad to worse. Hardison developed baby fever. Tara got hired back as the team's grifter. Eliot was grumpier than ever. And Sophie, the only person who could have talked her through it, was busy playing nursemaid to her newborn.

Nate still ran the cons, while looking after his very pregnant wife. Unable to do two things at once, though, he gave more responsibility to Hardison, who of course let it all go to his head. So not only did Hardison help plan the cons, he started planning their future as well. The future that he wanted.

Ironically, Parker was the one woman who had never thought about having kids, and she couldn't very well tell Hardison something he didn't want to hear. Trying to get him to listen to her was impossible. It was one of the many reasons they had eventually broken up.

It wasn't entirely her fault either. No matter what her conscience said. Tara was the one doling out relationship advice to her wannabe boyfriend, giving him ideas about planning their hypothetical wedding. Had Parker not been crawling around in Nate's vents during that conversation, she would never have seen it coming. But come it did. With a vengeance.

Hardison started talking marriage and she'd lost it. They stayed up for hours trying to hash out their relationship, and eventually it came down to the fact that they just wanted different things. Parker couldn't say she was surprised that things ended the way they had. She just didn't feel that spark anymore (the one Sophie said was so important).

She was happy not knowing her future. She liked to take insane risks without considering who or what she might leave behind. Hardison was just the opposite. So when they decided that whatever they had wasn't going to work, he was compelled to try and put a healthy distance between them. It wasn't so much that he was mad or hurt – not as much as she'd thought he'd be. But as Eliot had explained to her, break ups had limitations and boundaries and Parker had never been good with that sort of thing. So, it was up to Hardison to set the example.

Eventually he started gravitating towards Tara in a way Parker couldn't with compete with. As soon as he started dating other people, Parker did her level best to ignore it. It's not like she hadn't gotten caught staring at Eliot more times than she'd care to admit; and, while she tried to tell herself it was just a healthy curiosity, deep down that funny feeling got her every time.

Eliot wasn't the type to get serious with though, and that came as a relief to her. He was just so used to being a soldier, so unsure of making it home after a job, that it was just easier to be the playboy. Eliot, for his part, respected Parker on and off the field. But it seemed to be for occupational reasons only. He appreciated having someone on his level to train with.

Here again, Parker was no Tara. She wasn't the one who met all Eliot's potential girlfriends. She wasn't the one who went shopping with them…or drank with them… or compared notes... The most Parker could say she shared with any of these bimbos was her natural hair color.

So it was, in the blink of an eye, Parker found herself being replaced. It wasn't Hardison, Eliot, and Parker anymore. No. It was Tara, Hardison, and Eliot respectively. There was no room left for her.

It was then she started wondering if they might be better off without her. She knew how much Hardison would miss her. And how hard Eliot would take it. Not to mention Nate, who would have a hard time replacing her. But despite everything that had happened, it was her last night with Eliot that sealed her fate. It was the one night she had never been able to get out of her head no matter how hard she tried. And the one that ensured she could never go back home again.

Part Two: Deep Inside of You

One Year Ago

Parker hung outside Eliot's window, unsure of whether to go in. Tara was out on the town with Sophie, which left her current mode of company unavailable. Going to Nate's was out of the question. He'd get all moody, and huffy, and drunk. For some reason, he never could seem to talk to her without nursing some kind of alcohol.

Hardison, on the other hand was entertaining a date. From what she'd been told (by both Nate and Sophie), she needed to respect his space. Now it looked like she was about to get the same lecture from Eliot.

From her vantage point, she could see him gesticulating wildly, arguing with some guy in a cowboy hat. Or girl. Who could tell these days? Of course, Eliot had never seemed like the gay type to her. Hardison maybe, but…Oh wait. Maybe the woman just had short hair. In fact, she looked an awful lot like –

SLAM!

Oo, that had to hurt.

The banging door caught them both off guard. Eliot winced as Parker swore, momentarily losing her balance. Her forehead tapped lightly against the window, just loud enough to be heard by the hitter. It must have been a 'very distinctive tap' because the next thing she knew, the window was being thrown up and she was being dragged inside. Her ears rang as Eliot began to rip her a new one for eavesdropping.

Having the decency to look at least a little ashamed of herself, she waited for Eliot to run out of steam. She had to wait a really long time, but it finally paid off. Eliot's tirade died down as her cheeks burned over the embarrassment of being caught red handed. It was then that Parker realized the girl who had left had been Aimee. Eliot wouldn't have gotten this upset for just any one-night stand.

"Dammit Parker! This isn't some peep show! You can't just spy on people whenever you feel like it! Didn't Sophie have this talk with you already?"

"I didn't mean to! I just –"

"You just what?" He hadn't bothered to find out why she was there, but it was right up there on his list of things to do before he died (or killed her…whichever came first).

"I needed someone to talk to. You were the only one home."

"What about Hardison huh?"

"He's out on a date."

"Sophie? Tara?"

"Out drinking."

"Nate? Okay I get why not Nate…but how 'bout what's her face that you go to coffee with?"

"Peggy? This isn't exactly something you'd talk about over tea. Look I'll just go. Sorry to ruin your date." Parker spat, not in the least bit sorry.

"Get back here Parker! You don't get to play Harriet the Spy and then bail." Placing his hands on her shoulders, he curbed his temper and spoke slowly through his teeth. "Let's try this again. Why. Are. You. Here?"

"I had a freakin' nightmare, ok?" She blurted out.

"A nightmare? Seriously? Don't tell me you're still afraid of the bogeyman? If I told you once, I told you a thousand times he ain't real. And neither is the Easter Bunny. Or Santa Clause. Or Leprechauns!"

Parker's eyebrows scrunched together. "That's just what they want you to think."

"What?" Eliot blinked in disbelief.

"What?" Parker answered back innocently.

Eliot pinched the bridge of his nose, warding off a migraine. He really didn't get her sometimes.

"So you had a nightmare?"

"I don't want to talk about it anymore. Can I sleep in your closet?"

"My closet?" He repeated blankly. Now he'd heard everything.

"Yeah. I don't want to be any trouble."

"A little late for that, don't ya think?"

"Very funny. I'll just go."

In less than a second, Eliot's hand was on her arm. "Forget it! You're stayin' put where I can keep an eye on ya. An' you're sleeping in a bed like a normal person."

"But…you only have one bed."

Eliot almost chuckled at her bug eyed look. Almost. "Yeah, and? I'm takin' the couch Goldilocks."

"Whose Goldilocks?" The innocence in her tone cut through his patience.

"You know…the fairy tale…with the bears…and the porridge...and the girl who didn't mind her own business…"

"Ooo! Story time!"

Eliot rolled his eyes. "NO! NO STORIES! You came here to sleep."

"Whatever you say Sparky." Parker cheered, looking at him like he was the crazy one.

Eliot took a few deep breaths in and out, then turned abruptly to get bedding for the couch. "Stay here." He commanded.

Parker was floored. She knew Eliot was a loose cannon, but she never expected he would contain himself enough to let her stay.

By the time he came back, Parker was snuggled under the covers on his bed, surrounded by his scent, feeling safe again. "Thank you Eliot."

He stopped just long enough to sigh as he tucked her in. "Anytime Parker. Just do me a favor and use the front door next time."

Part Three: Deep Inside of You

The sound of whimpering awoke Eliot as he fumbled for his phone to see what time it was. 3 o'clock in the morning. Hell. That girl was more trouble than she was worth. Getting up from the couch he made his way back to the bedroom. Eyes adjusting to the dim light, he had to walk halfway into the room before he noticed Parker splayed out all over the sheets and blankets. She was five seconds away from rolling off the bed and hitting her head.

With a sigh, Eliot eased himself down onto the mattress closest to her. He put a hand on her shoulder, and nearly lost it as she lunged upwards to attack. Quick as a flash, he pulled her into his arms and locked her against his chest before she did something stupid.

Like hit him.

"Shhh Parker. It's only me. Eliot." He soothed, trying to calm her.

She struggled for a few seconds before her eyes snapped open and she realized where she was. The first thing she noticed were Eliot's arms clamped around her. One around her waist and the other tangled up in her hair, holding her face tight against him. Slowly he rocked her back and forth until she was fully awake.

To his surprise, Parker let loose with a sob and flung herself into him, burying her head to hide the tears.

"Parker? You gotta talk to me. Tell me what's wrong."

For awhile she didn't say anything. But just as Eliot was about to give up and let her try to go back to sleep, she managed to mumble: "It's that same dream. It's always the same dream."

Now his curiosity was piqued. "What dream?"

"He always comes for me at night."

"Who comes? Tell me who so I can help you."

"My dad. My real dad." She mumbled.

Eliot frowned. Parker never talked about her past. Never. He was two seconds away from calling Hardison, but he knew it wouldn't do any good. She was trying so hard to respect his space that he didn't want to do anything to jeopardize that. So he just held onto her, reminding her every now and then to breathe.

It wasn't the first time Eliot didn't know how to respond to Parker's antics. But he wanted to get to the bottom of what was making her so anxious. Maybe then she wouldn't come knocking on his window in the middle of the night. "How often have you had this dream?" He asked, after awhile.

Parker mumbled something incomprehensible and Eliot had to pull her away from him to hear her clearly. With his hands firmly on her shoulders, he looked her in the eye. "Say that again." He demanded.

After a few minutes of getting stared down, Parker finally complied. "Ever since our last job." She admitted.

Eliot tried not to get upset. "Parker, that was over two weeks ago. Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"Would you tell anyone if you got cornered by some pig in a track suit who tried to feel you up?"

"Well, no. But that's because I'd be too busy beating the crap out of him."

"I had my taser."

"Good. Cause I'm gonna pound the shit out of him if we ever run into him again."

"Look, it doesn't matter. He felt me up. He got tasered. End of story."

"Except now you have nightmares."

"Yeah. Every night this week. Why?"

Eliot tried to be tactful, but acting as Parker's therapist was going above and beyond his job description. "Maybe you should talk to someone about them."

"I thought I was." Parker concluded in her own confused way.

"I mean a professional." Eliot clarified.

"Hardison used to help me out with this stuff. But since we're broken up I can't spend the night at his place anymore. So, I thought sleeping with someone else might help."

"You mean sleeping in someone else's closet…"

"Yeah. What'd you think I meant?"

"Never mind." Eliot parried, looked at her sideways until he was sure there was no double meaning. With Parker you could never tell. "Will you tell me what's so special about closets?"

"They're small. Lots of tight spaces. Easy to hide in."

Against his better judgment, Eliot ventured a guess, delving deeper into her issues. "Is that how you got away? Hiding in closets?"

"How'd you know?" Parker asked, dumbfounded. She was shaking now. She couldn't help it.

"Lucky guess." Eliot murmured as he pulled her back against him. Tears and snot stained his shirt, but he ignored it in favor of making sure his friend was okay.

"How old were you?" Eliot asked, resting his head on top of hers.

Parker felt the rumble of his voice against her cheek and tried to ignore the warm squishy feeling in her stomach. "I don't know. Like 6 or 7…old enough to know better."

Eliot's voice got dangerously low. He almost didn't want to ask. "What did he do?"

Parker buried her face deeper into Eliot's shoulder, trying to make the memories go away. Squeezing her eyes shut, she debated on what and how much to tell him.

"At first he bought me all this new stuff. Dolls…toys…a bike. Then he told me I had to pay him back."

"How?" Eliot kept his voice steady, even though he felt like hitting something. Or someone. Parker was finally opening up, and while he felt ill-equipped to deal with it, he couldn't bring himself to make her stop. He hung on her every word, vowing to make the bastard pay.

"He started coming to my room every night. He made…" She broke off in a sob. "He made me go down on him. Always. Every time."

"Parker…" Words failed him. Fist fights he could handle. But responding to what she had just told him? No matter what he said, nothing would make it better. In place of words, he planted a kiss to her forehead and held her close while she tried to get her emotions under control.

"You wanna know the reason I almost screwed up our last job? That jackass in a tracksuit just reminded me of what I'd been trying to forget. He's what made me get all stabby.

"That's a good reason to get stabby sweetheart. And I swear to you if I ever meet your dad, I'll be the last thing he sees. He should never have done that to you."

"Thank you Eliot." Parker breathed. "But so you know, it's already been taken care of." Visions of her exploding childhood home occupied her mind, helping her breathe a little easier as she clutched tight to Bunny.

"Do I even want to know?"

"Probably not."

"It's alright darlin'. I won't ask. And I'm sorry for yellin' at ya earlier. I was actin' like a jerk."

"S'okay. I'm used to it."

Eliot smirked. "Gee thanks." Taking another look at Parker's face, he found himself growing serious again. Before he knew what he was doing, his fingers had found a stray lock of hair, and pushed it back from her face, before tucking it behind her ear. He found himself looking at her in a new way, and not a sisterly one either.

Parker smiled in spite of herself. "What?" She asked curiously.

Eliot quickly shook himself before he did something stupid. Like kiss her. "Just wanted to make sure you're alright. That's all." With one smooth motion, he picked himself up off the bed, only to find Parker keeping a fierce grip on his arm.

He had gotten up so abruptly that she couldn't help but wonder if she'd done something wrong. "Please don't go." She begged. "I don't want to be alone."

"I don't know if that's such a good idea Parker." Eliot didn't want to be the one to admit it, but he didn't know if he could be trusted to keep himself in check around her. After all that she had told him, he didn't want to take advantage. However, he felt strangely protective. Like he would do anything to make her feel better. Hardison be damned.

"Please." Parker begged, on the verge of tears again. The way she was looking at him, Eliot couldn't say no if he tried.

"Fine." He relented, huffing half heartedly. Sliding back down beside her, he made himself more comfortable before taking her back in his arms. Parker, in her boy shorts and t-shirt snuggled up against him, as he assured her: "You're secret's safe with me."

When she closed her eyes, she couldn't help feeling more at peace. But there was still something nagging her in the back of her mind.

"Eliot?"

"Yeah?"

"Did I completely ruin your night?"

"No. You didn't." He said, giving her shoulders a squeeze with the arm that was wrapped around them.

"Then why were you arguing with that girl?"

Eliot closed his eyes briefly before settling on an answer. "Whatever happened between me and Aimee wasn't your fault."

"Did you guys break up again?"

"Go to sleep Parker." He warned, instantly regretting it when he saw the look on her face.

Parker bristled. "That's not fair! I told you a secret. You've got to tell one to me. Isn't that how it works?"

Eliot rolled his eyes, trying to remind himself this was Parker, and she was nothing if not tactless. Unfortunately, she had a point. "Yes. We broke up. Again."

"Oh."

"We're not talking about this."

"If you say so." She chided.

"I mean it Parker." He growled.

I know. I know. Go to sleep." She mimicked.

Something in her tone made Eliot feel like dirt. She was just trying to help in her own Parker-ish way. Still, he wasn't too keen on talking about his ex to someone who he was trying very hard not to be attracted to.

"It's not you." Eliot breathed. "I just…I thought it would work this time."

Parker didn't say anything. She didn't have to. Eliot knew what she meant as she gingerly leaned up and placed a kiss on his cheek. A silent "She doesn't deserve you." hung in the air.

He didn't know if it was Aimee walking out or Parker sympathizing with him, but something deep inside of him wanted more from the woman beside him. Ignoring the voice in his head screaming that it was a bad idea, Eliot turned his head at the last second and touched Parker's lips to his.

Parker's eyes went wide for a split second before she closed them, savoring the feel of his mouth on hers. Nudging back, she met him with another kiss. Then another. And another. Whenever one stopped, the other continued. Neither wanting to pull away.

Tiny closed mouth kisses turned into light nipping. Slow and sweet turned into a fervent longing for something they were both missing. Come morning, they were nothing more than a tangled mess of tongues and limbs.

Physical affection wasn't easy for Parker. But sometimes it was the only thing she responded to. And it took a considerable amount to calm her down after a nightmare like that one. But calm down she did, replacing all her bad memories with better her life had culminated into a single night of passion from which she had never recovered. And now it was too late to do anything about it. Because Nate had summoned them all back for one final job: Eliot's wedding.