Fitting In

Summary: Unlike her brothers, Lily's time at Hogwarts has been anything but easy. After her daughter spends the first two weeks of summer sulking, Ginny tries her first real mother-daughter talk.

Written for Event 3 of the 2014 House Cup – Prompt 2

Rating: 12+
Genres: Angst, Fluff
Warnings: No Warnings
Major Characters: Ginny, Lily (II)
Pairings: None

CHAPTER 1: Heart to Heart

"Shut up, James!" little Lily Potter yelled as she paused midway up the stairs, her brown eyes blazing with anger as she scowled down at her older brother.

James stuck out his tongue rudely. Unfortunately for the eldest of the Potter children, he was almost immediately caught in the act by his mother who fixed him easily with a severe, wordless glare before climbing the stairs to follow her daughter.

Up above, a door slammed loudly.

James sniggered, whispering conspiratorially with Albus.

Suddenly the boys found their lips moving without making a sound. Two pairs of widened eyes turned towards Ginny, who was smirking from her perch on the bottom step, arms crossed and wand pointed casually in her boys' direction.

With a flick of her wrist she dismissed the spell and narrowed her eyes at both of them. "Thank you!" she gushed in mock praise. "I'm glad to see you can be quiet after all."

"But Mum…" Albus protested, "we were just having a bit of fun with her!"

"When I've said enough, I mean it," she said pointedly. "Your father will be back any minute. I expect you two not to have destroyed the place by then."

The pair watched their mother's wand warily as it swayed lightly in her hand all the way up the staircase.

Topping the stairs, Ginny wearily trudged down the hall to her daughter's room. Softly pressing an ear against the door, she heard the faint sounds of crying. She frowned.

Under a year ago, Hogwarts had been all Lily talked about. Into early October, her letters had carried the same tone – full of excitement and hope. But by November, the first signs of a problem had emerged. While she and Harry enjoyed reading their daughter's incredibly detailed accounts of particular corridors and classes, there was a distinct lack of information about friends or fun. As a mother, Ginny was embarrassed to admit that Harry had been the first to raise the question. From then on she vowed to be more vigilant and by the holidays she noticed the carefully disguised flushes of embarrassment on Lily's face when her brothers carried on about their friends.

The second term was much the same, with even the things that had excited her before now described more like drudgery. When she had finally returned home, Ginny had been sent on assignment for the Prophet to cover the scandal enveloping the European Confederation of Professional Quidditch Leagues, which it seemed had been responsible for illegally denying work permits to North American players who had previously played Quodpot professionally. When Ginny returned, Harry reported grimly that while letters continued to flood in for James and Albus almost daily, their daughter had yet to receive a single one.

"Lily?" Ginny ventured, knocking tentatively.

Pressing her ear to the door again, she heard her daughter sniff loudly before making some noise with her bed sheets.

"I'm fine, Mum."

"Darling, open the door," Ginny said gently.

"I'm fine, Mum."

Ginny exhaled loudly in frustration. She wasn't built for this.

"Lily Luna Potter! Open the door this instant or so help me–"

"Merlin!" Lily shouted, yanking the door open wide before quickly turning away from her mother and striding towards her large window overlooking the hill behind their cottage.

Ginny approached carefully, placing a hand on her daughter's shoulder.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing…I'm just tired of James and Albus."

"Right," Ginny deadpanned. "And I'm a cuddly grindylow."

Without turning around, Lily sunk slowly onto her bed.

Ginny followed, wrapping her daughter in her arms.

To her surprise, the young girl curled inward like she hadn't in years, burying her face in her mother's chest a beginning to sob.

Clutching her daughter tightly, Ginny spared a moment to direct the door shut with her wand.

"It's okay, Lily…" she soothed, stroking her daughter's fiery red hair.

Though her response was broken and tearful, it was undeniably immediate.

"It-it's n-n-not okay, Mum!"

"What's not?"

"N-nothing!"

Ginny moved her hand to rub her daughter's back.

"I-I don't…I d-don't know why. M-maybe I'm not…" Lily trailed off sadly, raising her wet, reddened eyes to meet her mother's.

In the pools of brown that had melted both her and Harry's hearts almost twelve years ago, Ginny was astonished to see so much pain. She frowned deeply and closed her eyes, pulling Lily's head to her chest once more and rocking gently. It had been so long since she had seen that look. The one she had spent so much of her own early years at school trying to banish when she looked in the mirror. Doubt. Inadequacy. Loneliness. She remembered the complex emotions behind that stare too well. It was cruel she considered, that she should have to see those emotions in her own daughter's eyes at almost exactly the same age. Squeezing Lily's small body tightly to her own, she tried to banish the look with the sheer power of willful thought.

For what felt like ages, the two Potter women sat, clutching one another on an otherwise empty bed.

Finally, Lily pulled away raising her head and wiping away the last of her tears.

Ginny steeled herself. She had never done this for her daughter before. Not really. But she could see it clearly now. Now, she had to.

"Lily. What's wrong?"

The young witch shook her head. "I don't know," she said glumly, moving to sit beside her mother as they both stared out at the overcast sky that currently marred the grassy vista before them. "I can't explain it exactly."

Ginny turned her head and waited until her daughter met her eyes.

"What, Mum?

"Try."

Lily looked downward.

"I just…I don't have any friends. I don't fit in anywhere."

Ginny opened her mouth to speak, but caught the error. Instead, she listened.

"It's like…James and Albus…Rose and Hugo too, they're just natural Gryffindors. And I'm not. I still get nervous casting spells. I'm shy around people. I'm afraid of giving the wrong answers in class…"

Lily stopped to sniff.

Ginny smiled gently.

"What? I just shared that with you and you're smiling at me?" the younger redhead scowled.

"I'm sorry. It's just that I know someone who was a lot like you from when I went to school."

"Dad's told us all about Professor Longbottom and how he became such a great Gryffindor…"

"That's true," Ginny acknowledged. "But I was thinking of someone else."

"Really?"

Ginny nodded.

Lily cocked her head slightly, looking perplexed.

"I'm talking about me, Lily."

"You?" she asked incredulously. "Stop! I've heard stories about you in school. You were always beautiful and talented and popular. Even when Dad tells his stories he always says how he fell in love with your attitude."

"So he does. But I wasn't always that way."

The young girl looked at her mother skeptically.

"Lily…I had a hard first year too. I was bewildered being away from home. I had this seemingly hopeless crush on your father…"

"Ugh. Seriously, Mum? You were eleven!"

Ginny laughed. "Yes, and it was an eleven year-old's crush. I could hardly even talk around him. You know, the first time we ate breakfast together I put my elbow in the butter dish."

"You did not!"

Ginny smiled widely. "I did. Ask your father. He was nice enough not to laugh or even point it out."

"But I bet you still had friends…" Lily said defensively.

"No," Ginny shook her head. "I spent a lot of my time alone at first, nervous of getting lost or looking foolish. After awhile it just built on itself. No one expected me to be around and no one really noticed if I wasn't. No one really seemed to care. And I felt desperately alone."

"But…how did you…you're not like that at all…and even back in school–"

"It took a lot of effort, Lily. I lost a whole year getting to know my classmates. But I worked at it my second year. And my third year, I worked more on getting to know myself. And I figured out I had an awful lot to offer."

"Do you think I can do that?"

Ginny smiled, wrapping an arm around Lily's shoulder and leaning into her. "I know you can."

Mother and daughter stared out the window once more, watching the places where the clouds had given way to thin rays of sunlight.

Squeezing Lily close once more, Ginny got up to walk away.

: "Mum?" Lily asked, "How do I start?"

Ginny smiled. "Like any proper Gryffindor girl. Getting payback on awful Gryffindor boys."

A twinkle Ginny hadn't seen in a long while flashed through Lily's eyes.

"Will you help me?" Lily asked.

"Always."

A/N: Phew. So this time I decided to push myself by taking on a mother-daughter dynamic. I've always seen a lot of similarities between Ginny and Lily (II) – at least in my head canon, and I thought it would be interesting if this was one more way that could have been a similarity (minus the possession) that Ginny was able to cut off at the pass. I'd love feedback on the realism of the mother-daughter aspect and the overall emotion you got from the story. I tried to capture it despite obviously lacking personal experience in the area and would be interested to know if it felt "right" and managed to keep Ginny in character.