A one-shot Still anniversary fic. A fix it fic of sorts. Please let me know what you think and if you enjoyed it. Feedback is greatly appreciated and valued.
Beth exhaled on a sigh as she watched the activity below her. People were moving about, starting their day, as the sun began to peak over the horizon. It was early still but already the demands of surviving had people up and moving about. Adjusting her position, trying to find a comfortable one, she swung her legs back up onto the balcony and scooted away from the edge as she crossed them. She still leaned forward though, still crossed her arms on the steel railing in front of her, before resting her chin atop her forearms. Sighing again she watched as the people below her went about their mornings. Some of them appeared happy, free even, and she figured it was the first time they'd felt that way in a long while. Others though appeared furtive, worried, as if they fully expected Negan to pop out from around the corner of the nearest building to torment them some more. It wouldn't happen, the man was safely imprisoned in Alexandria but, she could understand why they didn't feel safe yet. She knew what that felt like, was familiar with the shock of finally being free, and she knew it would take those particular people time to adjust to the new order of things.
A moment later she heard Eugene before she saw him as he barked orders at a group of men who were beginning their day by working to remove the macabre display of walkers smelted to the perimeter fence. It had been decided just yesterday that the walkers on the fence would come down before any other major changes were made. She wasn't sure if her two companions had agreed with her or not but she'd insisted vehemently that it had to happen reminding both of them that those things had been people once and that they deserved respect and a proper end. They couldn't lose their humanity and their respect for the sanctity of life just because the world had decided to thrust itself into chaos. To lose that would be to lose their souls and she wouldn't stand by and watch that happen. However, as Eugene barked at a boy that appeared not much older than Carl causing him to startle and almost fall into the jaws of one of the sentinels Beth decided that she would have to talk to the scientist. He was a nice man and she had to admit she rather enjoyed the fact that he rankled their other companion with his mere presence but she wouldn't put up with these people being abused anymore even if it was unintentional. She knew Eugene was just trying to find his footing as a leader but Rick had left them here to win these people over and to earn their trust and loyalty and that wouldn't happen by barking at and bullying them.
She was so distracted by her own thoughts that she jumped rather violently when a coffee cup was plunked down on the walkway beside her. The ceramic made a loud clinking noise drawing her from her thoughts and almost causing her to slam her head into the steel bar above her. She hadn't realized how far over the edge she'd been leaning and sitting up she slide back a couple of inches before turning to look at the man who was easing himself down next to her.
"Gettin a little too big for his britches ain't he," the hunter questioned as he nodded towards Eugene in the courtyard below.
Beth watched the hunter for a moment as he adjusted moving to swing his legs over the edge of the railing as she had done earlier before replying, "He's new at this is all. He'll get the hang of it he just needs some guidance."
Daryl snorted softly and gestured towards the cup before leaning back on his palms and tipping his head up to the early morning sun," Coffee from Negan's personal stash. I know how much you love the stuff."
Glancing down at the cup Beth noticed that he'd even managed to find cream somewhere and she couldn't hold back the smile that graced her face as she reached for it. It was the simple pleasures now that meant so much. She took a grateful sip of the warm liquid before moving to pass the cup to Daryl.
When he just squinted at her through his messy bangs she leaned into him nudging him a bit with her shoulder as she encouraged," Have some. I know how much you love it too. I am not drinking this all on my own."
With a reluctant sigh he reached over to take the cup from her. Even though he tried to hide it she could see the pleasure that graced his tired features as he took a sip. Daryl could hide things from most people but never from her.
When he moved to hand the cup back to her she settled it between them announcing firmly, "We'll share it," before turning back to watch the activity below. Then in an offhand manner as if it didn't matter to her in the slightest she mused," You need a haircut."
When his head swung towards her rather sharply she turned back to grace him with a gentle smile, "It used to be sexy now it's downright shaggy," earning a snort from the taciturn hunter.
"Don't care what I look like," he snapped before being forced to push the overly long hair off his face and out of his eyes.
She couldn't stop her chuckle as she agreed," I am sure you don't but I keep having the insane urge to push your hair out of your face like you're some adorable little boy."
His eyes narrowing to slits Daryl growled, "You ain't my momma. Don't need you tryin ta baby me."
Unable to keep the amusement from her voice the blonde teased back, "I am certainly not your momma Mr. Dixon but if you're smart you'll see the wisdom in cutting your damn hair before a walker gets ahold of it one day."
The slight tension between them broke then as Daryl chucked wryly," You've turned inta quite the little smart ass Beth Greene."
Smiling at him over the rim of the coffee cup she agreed," Had a good teacher."
He just shook his head before reaching to take the cup from her. Taking a sip himself he mused, "I was right when I told ya that."
"You were," she agreed with a nod, "but I wasn't going to cut off my hair especially in light of everything else I'd already lost." Then after pulling at a frayed string on her jeans,"I am right now too."
With an amused shake of his head Daryl agreed ,"I know ya are but you still ain't cut your hair so . . . "
"Is that how we're going to play this," Beth teased back before reaching up to run her fingers through her blonde locks, "and actually it has been cut. They had to cut some off at the hospital after my surgery it's just mostly grown back so. . . "she let the challenge fall between them the implication being that he owed her a haircut.
Daryl just shook his head though and all amusement fled as he once more surveyed the scene unfolding below them, "I can't believe he left us here."
Reading the hunter's swift change of mood Beth examined his face for a long moment before reminding him softly, "Rick knows what he's doing. He needs us to be here right now." Then reaching out to touch the top of his hand gently ,"I know you'd rather be anywhere else in the world right now but we've all got jobs to do Daryl and this is ours."
The hunter sighed heavily before fiddling with the cup and admitting, "I know why it had ta be us. I get it . . . I just wish it coulda been someone else."
Seeing the distress on the hunters face Beth moved to cover his hand which rested between them needing the connection as much as she sensed he did. Slowly she intertwined their fingers before squeezing softly in support understanding that being here in this place was hard for him. It was about more than just being separated from everyone else.
Clearing her throat she stroked his thumb softly with her own as she probed gently," Everything's been a whirlwind since Steven and I showed up. We literally walked right into a battle and then a war. I know . . .," she paused trying to choose her words carefully, "I know things happened to you, we all know that much but," she squeezed again, "I really want to understand Daryl."
When he just dropped his head to stare at his lap, his face obscured from her by his overly long hair she probed knowing she was pushing him but having already decided it was time to do just that, "You need to talk about it Daryl. Whatever is festering inside you and believe me I know something is, you need to talk about, like before." She fidgeted a bit before encouraging boldly, "I am here for you just like I was then. If ya gotta yell then yell. If ya gotta cry then cry but, ya can't keep this bottled up inside you anymore."
The hunter continued to remain silent and if Beth didn't know any better she would wonder if he was listening to her at all. But she knew better and she knew Daryl enough to know that he was listening even if he was sitting stock still and it appeared as if he'd completely blocked her out.
Making the decision to just go for it she cleared her throat before scooting closer to him and pulling his hand into her lap. Cradling it she inquired, "Why did he say I was your Sherry? That now he knew your weakness?"
Her softly uttered question finally drew a reaction from the hunter and when his head snapped up and his eyes met hers Beth was shocked by the degree of despair in their blue depths. It only lingered for a moment however before anger shielded the emotion from her.
"I told you to stay away from him, "the hunter snarled, "Was pissed as hell to find you in there with him."
Snorting the blonde acknowledged, "That much was obvious to me and quite frankly to Negan too. But I am not gonna fight with you about this Daryl. I told you before I went to his cell that there were things I needed to say to him."
Growling the hunter accused, "And I told you to stay the hell away from that psychotic asshole. There ain't no reason for you to be anywhere near him. I don't even want him to know your damn name."
"Well it's a little late for that," Beth chirped back not backing down in the face of Daryl's surliness, "besides in case you haven't notice Daryl I can take care of myself. I did a fine job out there on my own and I managed to get back to you guys in one piece. I don't need a baby sitter anymore and if I want to talk to the asshole that broke my sisters heart than I will."
Tension radiating off the hunter he snarled angrily, "You have no idea what he's capable of darlin'. Your still a naïve little girl if you think puttin' him in that cage neuters him. It's just a matter of time before this whole shit show blows up in our faces again. It always does and I don't god damn need you making yourself a fucking target."
The vehemence in the hunter's voice startled Beth because she hadn't realized just how much anger Daryl was still harboring. Plus the pain, the pain was what really tore at her because, she could see in the rigid tenseness of his body that Daryl was hurting and that broke her heart. No matter how angry he was though the hunter still hadn't withdrawn his hand form her lap.
She knew she was about to blow the cork on his self-control though so she gently untwined their fingers and released his hand before querying softly, "What are you so afraid of Daryl? What has you wound tighter than a spring right now?"
The hunter didn't disappoint her as he suddenly yanked away from her and jumped to his feet. Sneering down at her he snarled, "I ain't afraid a nothin."
His chest was heaving and his hands were balled into fists at his side and as Beth slowly rose to her feet she was transported to another place and time. A sweltering summer afternoon outside a moonshine still when they'd both been reeling from the loss of their family.
Tamping down her own emotions Beth stood her ground her posture relaxed and open but firm as she pushed, "Tell me what you're afraid of Daryl. Tell me why ever since I got back you've done everything you can to keep me away from Negan. If you could have made me invisible you would have. You practically freaked out every time you thought he might even catch a glimpse of me. I know it goes beyond just being worried about me. It's something deeper than that I know it is. So why? Why did he smile at me like the cat that got the canary when I finally talked to him? Like he'd won even though he was the one sitting behind bars and I was the one who was free?"
With each line she uttered Beth watched as Daryl crumbled before her. The walls he'd been keeping between them were finally falling away. They'd been pitiful things, nothing like the walls she'd broken through before but, they'd been there none the less and she'd grown tired of them. There'd been a distance between them since her return that she had sensed but been unable to breech. A chasm she'd been unable to cross. She'd sensed intuitively that it had something to do with her and now her suspicions were being confirmed.
As Daryl stood before her shoulders hunched and head dropped Beth waited patiently giving him whatever time he needed to gather his thoughts. She'd pushed enough now she needed to wait for him to come to her. It was a delicate dance she was engaged in. Push just enough to break through Daryl's walls but not so much that she caused him to withdraw from her.
Finally after several long moments he raised his head and the pain on his features almost brought Beth to her knees. It was agony she read on his face and his pain seemed to wash over her in a way she was unable to deflect. Instead it was almost like she had to absorb it and take it from him but it was so overwhelming she felt it down to the depths of her very soul.
His voice raspy and low the hunter finally chocked out his posture no less rigid than when he'd first stood, "Sherry was Dwight's wife. It's how Negan brought 'im to his knees. He hurt her, used her, and then used that to hurt 'im," he paused shuddering and sucking in a deep breath before continuing his pain obvious, "She was the only thing in the world Dwight loved and Negan knew it and he used her to destroy them both."
Realization slammed into Beth at Daryl's confession. She'd met Dwight during the war once or twice even though Daryl had tried his best to keep them away from each other. She understood that now in light of his confession but she'd always been struck by how haunted the man seemed. She'd realized that something huge had to have made him turn against Negan but she hadn't thought much about what that might be. Now she understood. She also now understood why even after all she'd heard about what Dwight did that Daryl had tolerated the man and allowed him into their fold as an ally. It hadn't made much sense to her before but it did now in light of this new information. He'd understood the man and what motivated him because on a certain level he was that man and he'd been able to empathize with him because of that.
Reeling a bit from Daryl's confession Beth stepped towards him whispering softly, "I won't let anyone use me to hurt you."
Locking his eyes with hers Daryl hurled the final defense he had as he rasped bitterly, "When you love people hurt is kinda part of the package."
Beth absorbed the pain of having her own words thrown so bitterly back at her. She had no idea where he'd gotten that from. She didn't remember ever saying it directly to him.
Her confusion must have shown on her face because he clarified no less bitterly,"S'what Maggie said to me after I escaped Negan and made it to the Hilltop. Everyone kept leavin' me behind. . . Rick. . .Carol. . . and I got damn tired of it so I went off on my own. Ended up locked in storage closet at the Hilltop with your sister and no matter how much I tried to avoid the conversation she kept pushin' just like you are now. Kept insistin' that what happened with Glenn wasn't my fault. That what happened with you wasn't my fault. Told me what you told her about lovin' people and hurtin' and insisted that it was worth it. That I had to let myself feel how much I loved Glenn, and Abe, and you because it would give me the strength I needed to go on."
He paused for a moment, shuffled his feet uncomfortably then continued, "Told her I didn't love you and she laughed in my face. Told me I was a liar. Told me that if I wanted to keep on lying to myself that was fine but that she knew the truth," a faint smile graced his face for a split second as he observed with a large degree of admiration, "You Greene girls are tough. Talkin' ta Maggie was like my conversation with you at the still. She wasn't gonna accept my bullshit anymore than you were."
Beth smiled at Daryl's confession about Maggie. She loved her sister fiercely and their reunion had been everything she'd hoped for except for the heartbreaking news about Glenn.
Considering the hunters confession for a moment Beth tilted her head examining him for a long moment before admitting softly and a bit shyly, "It was for you. It was about you."
Clearly a bit perplexed Daryl took a step towards her, "What was for me?"
Sucking in a lungful of air, using the moment to calm her racing heart the blonde finally confessed, "Finding the group again was about you Daryl. I um," she paused for a second as if unsure before continuing reluctantly, "I knew how much it hurt you that people were always leaving you behind and I promised that I wouldn't. I couldn't break that promise to you," she shuffled her feet a moment before continuing, "I couldn't be another person that abandoned you. I promised you that I wouldn't leave you and I meant it."
There was a long moment of silence between them as they examined each other before Beth rushed to clarify, "I love everyone and I wanted to find you all don't get me wrong but," she paused before admitting softly and somewhat unsurely, "on my lowest days you were what kept me going. I needed to get back to you. You were the person that kept my hope alive when I felt like there was nothing good left in this world."
Beth watched as Daryl seemed to absorb the meaning of her confession. Finally running a hand through his hair he exhaled raggedly before stepping towards her with a roughly muttered," Come 'er."
She didn't hesitate to put her hand in his when he reached out for her and she willingly stepped into his arms as he pulled her close. Without hesitation she wrapped her arms firmly around his waist burying her head in his chest and his arms tightened around her like a vise. She could feel the tremors that rocked his frame as he battled to get his emotions under control.
His face buried in the crock of her neck, his lips brushing the shell of her ear, he finally rasped his voice thick with emotion, "What the hell did I ever do ta deserve a damn angel in my life?"
Chuckling softly she pushed her face even more into the hunters chest as she retorted her own voice watery, "I am not an angel. You're the one with the wings. You're the group's guardian angel."
"Nah darlin," the hunter exhaled softly into her ear, "You're an angel," his arms tightened pulling her impossibly close, "my own personal guardian angel."
They stood for several long minutes just holding each other and absorbing strength from each other before Daryl finally broke the embrace. Reaching down for Beth's hand he directed softly and with some reservation, "Come with me. There's something I wanna show you."
Without hesitation Beth followed Daryl as he guided her through the Sanctuary and down into the basement of the main building. She'd come down here once or twice on her own but something about the place disturbed her enough that she generally avoided it. She couldn't put her finger on it but it was just a feeling that something bad had happened down there. She knew Eugene had a room down there and even though she and Daryl had taken rooms on the upper floor Eugene had declined saying he preferred to stay down in the basement. To Beth's knowledge Daryl never came down into this part of the building and while she'd noticed that she hadn't thought to question him about it.
Now as he led her through the twisting maze of hallways her gut clenched as she realized she probably should have put the pieces together long before now. Finally the hunter stopped before a small grey door in one of the darkest corridors furthest from any exit. His free hand seemed to tremor slightly as he reached out to grasp the door knob and reflexively Beth squeezed the hand she still held in support.
He turned the knob and Beth was greeted with the sight of a tiny dingy cell with no light and nothing but four walls, a roof, and a concrete floor. Beth could feel the anxiety radiating off the hunter as he released her hand and stepped into the tiny room.
He turned in a very slow circle for a moment before facing her once more and gesturing to the room, "This is where they kept me."
Her gut clenching with dread the blonde clarified even though she already knew in her heart, "After you attacked Negan. After Glenn was killed. They brought you here?"
Quietly, haltingly, painfully, in broken bits and pieces, "They stripped me, beat me, and put me in here naked. Fed me dog food sandwiches. There was no light. They played this song. . . this song about being on easy street all the time. I couldn't sleep. Couldn't escape into my mind, It was. . .," he trailed off shuddering.
What Daryl was describing would have been torture for anyone but Beth understood just how much worse it would have been for the hunter. He never showed people his back. She knew about the scars but knew he kept them covered and the music. . . he'd confessed to her not long after her return to the group how much he'd despised music once she'd been gone. Had told her it reminded him too much of her, and that night at the funeral home, and it had been just too painful to listen to. While the scenario would have been torture for anyone Beth realized just how much more painful it would have been for Daryl. Her heart clenched and she wished she didn't have to hear anymore. She didn't want to know. Didn't want to have to face the knowledge of what had been done to him.
But she knew he needed to talk about it so she pushed her own feelings aside as she encouraged, "Hell. They put you through hell. Negan was trying to break you?"
Nodding his head the hunter choked out, "He was using Dwight ta do it. Was just as much about breaking Dwight as breaking me. He was playin a game with both a us. Figure he wanted to turn me against Rick so that he could use me ta break him too. It was all a giant mind fuck. Kept at it and kept at it demandin' I kneel and say I was Negan. I was exhausted and figured I deserved it all cuz a Glenn. Don't know what I mighta done if it wasn't. . . ,"he trailed off again pausing and looking away from her.
Realizing he just needed a moment Beth remained quiet as she waited for Daryl to continue. Heavy emotion began to cloud his face and she could see the storm coming. As much as she wanted to go to him she didn't because she realized that if she did it would stop whatever he was about to confess and he needed to purge these horrors from the place where he'd locked them deep inside.
His voice cracking as he choked back sobs the hunter finally admitted, "I wondered at one point if I should just do it. Just give in and make it all stop. I didn't have anything left and I thought maybe everyone back home hated me anyway because of the fact that I got Glenn killed. Then I thought maybe it would be better if it was all over and I thought of ways I could goad Negan into killing me with that damn bat a his. Figured I deserved ta die that way after watching what happened to Glenn."
Tears were openly streaming down the hunters face then as his eyes bored into hers, "Beth it was," he sobbed his shoulders shaking, "Abe he um," another pause, "he took it like a hero ya know. Almost goaded Negan inta pickin' him and went out fightin' like any a us woulda done. Glenn," another gut wrenching sob, "oh God darlin it was," the hunter stopped again obviously unable to continue. He scrubbed a hand across his face sobbing into his palm before raising his eyes to her again. The depth of emotion in them tore at her already fragile self-control. The tears that had been gathering in her own eyes spilled forth as he continued, "He hit him once and his skull cracked open and his eye . . . oh God his eye. . . and he was callin' out for your sister and she was cryin' and it was the most horrific thing I've ever seen." Daryl was sobbing now outright and uncontrollably sobbing and Beth could only wrap her arms around herself as she covered her own mouth in horror. She hadn't ever asked Maggie what happened. Hadn't wanted to force her sister to talk about it if she wasn't ready. Now as the horror of that night washed over her she wished she could go back to blissful ignorance.
Beth could feel her own tears as they dripped from her chin soaking the front of her shirt, "Daryl you don't," she started only to be cut off.
"And that sadistic bastard he sat there and he watched him suffer. He watched them suffer. It was like fatally wounding an animal and then watching it die a slow and painful death instead a dealing the death blow. What kind of sadistic son of a bitch does that Beth? What kind of person does that kind of thing to another human being?" As if his final statement drained him of the ability to stand the hunter's knees buckled and he collapsed to the floor landing so hard Beth worried somewhere in the back of her mind that he might have fractured his knee caps.
Then he was kneeling before her looking up at her like a lost little boy who'd witnessed too many horrors to comprehend tears streaming down his face and the weight of the world pressing upon his shoulders until they gave way. Beth fought back her own horror as she finally went to him. Fighting back the nausea that was overwhelming her she knelt in front of him.
Reaching out to cup his face she felt him shudder under her touch, "There are evil people in this world Daryl. You know that. What the governor did to Daddy. What Negan did to Glenn those aren't the actions of someone who has an ounce of good in them. You wouldn't even do that to a deer Daryl never mind a person. People like that," she paused and sucked in a breath, "There are still good people Daryl but Negan he isn't one of them and what happened to Glenn it wasn't your fault. It was Negan who did that. Negan who made the choice to do that. That isn't on you. That isn't your fault."
Suddenly it was like the well had broken open and Daryl was shaking and sobbing uncontrollably and Beth could do nothing but pull him close and hold him to her as she rocked and soothed him through it repeating over and over in a hushed whisper, "It wasn't your fault. You're a good man Daryl. What happened wasn't your fault."
Tears of her own streamed down her face as she considered the horror of what Glenn had gone through, what her sister had gone through. Her heart ached for them but even more than that it shattered at the pain Daryl was experiencing. She couldn't help but wonder what would have happened to this sensitive and caring man if she hadn't been here. Would he have ever laid these demons to rest or would he have allowed them to tear him apart for the remainder of his life. She would be forever grateful that they would never have to find out.
She wasn't sure how long they both cried. Time seemed to lose all meaning after a while. They just held each other and allowed the much needed catharsis to take place. Finally an exhausted Daryl pulled away from her. Reaching up he ran a grimy hand through her hair pushing it off her wet face before rasping, "What the hell would I do without you. You're always savin' me. Even when you're not here your savin' me."
Leaning into his touch she retorted, "You're strong Daryl you don't need me."
Shaking his head vehemently the hunter confessed, "I am not. I am not strong Beth. I wanted to give up. I wanted it to be over. The only thing that stopped me was you."
"What do you mean," she asked in confusion.
Pulling away from her the hunter moved to scoot against the wall. Pulling his legs up and wrapping his arms around his knees he took a deep breath as if to steady himself. Mimicking his pose Beth scooted back against the wall as well giving him time to collect himself before continuing.
They sat shoulder to shoulder for several long moments before the hunter clarified, "I was ready to give up. They were wearin' away at me. At what was left of my give a damn ya know. Then Dwight made a mistake," he chuckled then at the irony of it, "thought he was dealin' the death blow I am sure but really it was the thing that turned it all around for me."
"What'd he do," Beth inquired watching the hunters face carefully.
"Dropped a polaroid of Glenn in my cell after Negan got done with him and started playin' music again but it was a different song. It was that one by Roy Orbison the one about cryin'. I am sure you know it," he spoke as if her knowledge of the song was a foregone conclusion.
She did actually know the song though and she figured that Daryl had made the assumption because of past history and her rather varied choices in music.
"I know it," she conceded, "but what about that song gave you hope," she paused before observing rather wryly, "It's not exactly an inspiring song."
"Nah it ain't," the hunter acknowledged before looking down and fiddling with the lace on one of his boots, "but there's a line that caught my attention. Was like you were speaking directly to me or somethin'."
"Which line," she questioned peering at him intently.
"The one bout' leavin' me standin' all alone," Daryl mused as he peered up at her with that half smirk that made her heart turn over in her chest.
Chuckling she probed tenderly, "Okay I am really not getting the inspiration here. How in the world did a line about me leaving you all alone and crying inspire you?"
Her genuine confusion prompted another small half smile from the hunter as he gazed around the cell with something like acceptance on his features, "That night at the still on the porch you told me that I was going to be the last man standin'," he paused before nodding to himself a minute and continuing, "At the time I thought it was the worst thing anyone coulda said ta me. Turns out it was the thing that saved me."
Beth absorbed the hunter's declaration and reined in her desire to ask questions as she waited for him to continue.
Watching Beth through hooded eyes he clarified gruffly, "That song reminded me of all things you'd said ta me bout' stayin' true ta myself, bout' puttin' the bad stuff away, bout' you believin' I was a good man even when I didn't believe it myself. Rememberin' what you said to me gave me the courage to really think bout' what Glenn woulda wanted me ta do and I knew then that he wouldn't a wanted me to give up who I was. Was the last thing I had ta hold onto and like you told me I had ta stay who I was. I couldn't give that ta Negan. I couldn't because of Abe and Glenn but mostly because of you. You told me you wouldn't be here to remind me," he paused trailing off his voice cracking a bit as he examined her with emotion filled eyes, "told me you'd be gone one day and you were. You were gone and I was all alone but you were there when I needed you," he was nodding again this time more emphatically, "You were here," he poked at his chest roughly, "reminding me a who I was and givin' me strength when I thought I didn't have anything left ta hold onto. I had you even if you weren't here with me. I had you because no one could take you away from me unless I let them."
Beth swiped roughly at the tears once more trailing down her cheeks. Offering the hunter a watery smile she surmised somewhat in awe, "Negan couldn't break you because of me."
When Daryl ducked his head rather bashfully before peaking back up at her and offering her a tiny nod she reached out for his hand as all the pieces clicked together in her mind. Pulling his hand into her lap as she laced their fingers together she queried, "That's why you were so afraid of me talking with him. You didn't want him to figure that out. That's what he meant when he said I was your Sherry. That's what got you so upset."
"I am not gonna let him hurt you," the hunter vowed with a hardness Beth had never before heard in his tone, "I am not gonna let anyone hurt you again."
Daryl's vehemence startled her and it took Beth a moment to process what was happening in this dank little cell. Confessions she'd never before imagined possible were rocking the foundation of her beliefs. She'd thought there was something special between her and this man but she hadn't really even dared to dream that he might feel for her what she'd begun to feel for him. Needing Daryl and refusing to be another person who'd let him down was what had driven her over six hundred miles from Atlanta to Virginia. She and Steven had done it alone and so many times she'd wondered if it would end up being in vain. Considering that she had basically had to protect Steven the whole way she still marveled at the fact that they'd both made it to their destination in one piece. She'd never shied away from what she felt for the hunter even if she hadn't allowed herself to examine it too closely. Now she was beginning to understand that what he felt for her probably went beyond the deep friendship she'd convinced herself was all that was between them.
"You can't protect me from the world Daryl," Beth cautioned.
When he would have protested she turned to him and placed her finger against his lips silencing him, "Living in this world means we're going to get hurt. It means bad things are going to happen. I need you to promise me that if something happens to me that you're going to hold on and remember what we mean to each other. You need to pull strength from that. We need to make each other stronger when we're together but when we're apart too."
She was watching him so intently that Beth could see every nuance of his internal struggle as it passed across his face.
Finally having seemed to have digested the wisdom of her words Daryl peered at her through his fringe of overly long hair as he agreed, "M'kay," then a pause, "I know ya ain't gonna leave me willingly not after everthin' ya did to get back ta us. I get what you're sayin but promise me your gonna try like hell ta be the last woman standin'?"
Beth's first reaction was to chuckle thinking Daryl was trying to bring levity to the intense conversation they were having but something about the hunters words struck her as deadly serious and as if there was something he was trying to say without actually verbalizing it.
Watching him for a long moment Beth felt something shift within her and an odd feeling settled in the pit of her stomach as she realized that she was right. She could see it written across his features feel it in the tight grip of his hand as his thumb moved to mimic her actions of earlier and stroke over hers. He was watching her with an intensity that she had only ever seen him direct at her and the only words she suddenly seemed capable of stuttering out past her numb lips were an awed, "Oh."
She was suddenly transported back to their candlelit dinner at the funeral home when she'd realized with astonishment that Daryl was admitting that she had convinced him that good people still existed. She'd realized even then that he was admitting to more than that. In his own way he had been telling her that she had given him hope, that she had become his guiding force and light, and she'd realized that something deep and special was blossoming between them. Once more she understood that Daryl's simple words heralded a deep and significant shift in their relationship. Maybe it had been there since that moment they had spotted each other across the battlefield and fought like hell to get to each other, maybe it had been there as they fought back to back against an enemy she didn't know but whom was trying to destroy her family, maybe it had been there after in the way he had dropped to his knees and buried his face into her stomach clutching her and sobbing as if they'd lost the battle and everyone they knew was gone, but if that was true, and she was beginning to think it was, she'd been too distracted by everything else to notice it. Now with all the noise of the world having fled Beth could finally understand that maybe this had been there all along. Maybe it had been there since that first tentative conversation about good people.
Daryl had ducked his head again and Beth sensed that her hesitation had embarrassed him. Her heart ached a bit at his distress and reaching over with her free hand she gently guided his chin until he was looking up at her. Examining his face for a long moment she declared with conviction, "I am not gonna leave you. Not of my own free will. I can't promise that I am always gonna be here none of us can promise that but, I promise you that if I leave it won't be because I wanted to." Sucking in a much needed breath she steadied herself on the exhale recognizing how significant this moment truly was as she offered the hunter a tender smile, "I'll be your partner until the end. I fought too hard to get back to you to lose you again," she raised his hand to her lips and kissed his knuckles before drawing his hand against her breast, "and God forbid something happens to either of us we'll always be here," she cradled his hand against her heart, "giving each other strength to go on so that we can protect our family until we're finally united again in whatever comes after this because that's what we would want for each other."
They were both silent then soaking in the moment and the promises they had made. Beth understood that for Daryl this was more than an affirmation of their deep friendship. It was a tentative first step towards more even if he wasn't able to verbalize that yet. He'd been through so much that now wasn't the time but she understood that the time was coming and that he'd needed her to understand that. He'd wanted to ensure that she was on the same page as he was and she'd needed him to understand that she'd been on that page for a while now. She would give him the time now to come to terms with what he felt and what this all meant. She knew it would be a process for him. That he wasn't a man prone to emotional declarations and big moments. She understood that more than likely she'd wake up one day and he'd be there with her and it would be the type of moment that they had been working up to in tiny baby steps for a while. She realized that's exactly the type of relationship they both needed after everything they'd been through.
Finally Beth rose tugging gently on Daryl's hand urging him to his feet as well, "We should go check on Eugene before he gets one of these poor people killed trying to take the walkers off the fence."
The hunter grunted as he rose, "Can't believe Rick left us here with these people. They've either struck the apocalyptic lottery and are alive by shear chance or they're criminals who are only cooperatin' cuz we got their leader in our jail."
"Be that as it may," she chirped happily as she closed the door to the cell and Daryl's demons behind them and led him back upstairs, "it's our job to win them over which means it would be best if we don't let Eugene get them killed."
Dropping her hand as he headed out into the courtyard the archer just grunted his affirmation. Beth watched as he headed towards Eugene who was currently barking orders at a group of young men struggling to cut a smelted walker loose. She was just about to turn and head back into the building, she had inventory to go through and people to meet with, when the archer turned to face her walking backward for a moment.
Beth paused mid turn certain that Daryl had something important to tell her. She was both surprised and pleased when he threw a flirty little smirk her way. His whole demeanor appeared lighter and more carefree all of a sudden and she was very certain that it had something to do with the demons he'd finally started laying to rest. She couldn't remember exactly the last time she'd seen that smirk grace his features but it certainly felt like she hadn't seen it since that night on the porch at the still.
Raising her hand to offer a little wave goodbye Beth was suddenly aware that she was beaming right back at the smirking archer. A voice in her head warned her to pull it together and to start acting like a community leader and not a love stuck teenager.
She was about to do just that when Daryl shouted across the courtyard, "You gonna cut my hair after dinner tonight," startling her and causing her mouth to drop open.
"Huh," she questioned certain she hadn't heard him correctly the first time.
Pausing as he fiddled with his bow the archer repeated himself still smirking mischievously, "You gonna cut my hair tonight?"
When she still remained rather flabbergasted he took pity on her and elaborated, "Your right bout' it needin' ta be cut and I don't trust anyone else ta do it. So will you?"
She couldn't stop the laughter that bubbled up from her chest at Daryl's question. Unable to remember the last time she'd felt the need to laugh so freely and unable to stop herself from doing so she asked, "Why?"
"For you," he shouted before winking and turning around and striding towards the melee unfolding as the walker was finally released from the fence only to fall on one of the crew. Daryl had just broken into a run yelling and gesturing wildly at Eugene when it dawned on Beth what he had confessed. He wanted a haircut because she'd called him shaggy and apparently he'd decided that he wanted her to find him attractive instead. As she turned to enter the building a long absent fire began to rekindle in Beth's belly. It had been so long since she'd felt real hope for the future that she'd almost forgotten what it felt like. But she remembered now. They could live here in Virginia and make this place a real home. It wouldn't be easy but they could make it work. They would have a lot of work to do to bring all the communities together but with each of them doing their part she was sure it would happen. They could live here for the rest of their lives and she had hope that it was going to work out that way because without hope what was the point of living . . . and she had come too far to do anything but live each day to the fullest starting from this moment onward.