Author's Note: My lovelies! Hope is not lost. I'm sorry about my year long hiatus, but I lost my job a little while back and was pretty bummed. But I'm at a much better job now and am finally settled in enough to have time to write again. Let's set sail!
Summary: We left off with Petunia swimming away, completely transformed into a siren. Hook is mourning the loss of Smee. The ying and yang of Neverland is not balanced. As time crawls by, little pieces of Neverland are tearing up. Something is coming.
And if the land is not balanced, it might just be the end of Neverland.
The war is not over. The Apocalypse is coming. And believing in faeries will no longer save you.
(Language warning. F bombs sprinkled like little candies throughout the story. Oh yes, Petunia is mad.)
Of Hooks and Pans II: Apocalypse
Chapter 1: Possession
Smee was dead. Peter Pan's ghost had been destroyed. Those were the facts. Oh, yes, and a darling girl who I happened to fancy transformed into a siren. So, my lover was a sea-monster.
Could it get any worse? Of course it could.
This was Neverland. Neverland was mad. Neverland wanted revenge, especially on those who shook its balance. There could never be peace here. And since I was a pirate, I had to fight back. Time knocked on my cabin door, warning me there would be no time
to rest.
What would Petunia say? There ain't no rest for the wicked.
Hook. Hook, are you there?
I am on my back. There is wet sand beneath my hands, my toes. I feel water tickle the soles of my feet and disappear. My heavy eyes peel open beneath a bright sun. I am on a beach. I groan and pull my exhausted body to a sitting position. My chest is
sore as if a gorilla punched me to the ground. How did I get here? I remember hazy images of my arms supporting a weapon and a fight, screaming, and my body jumping into the ocean. I remember being horrible to Hook. Mean. I had no say. Something came
over me. Something evil soaked into my skin, my muscles, right through to my bloodstream.
It was as though I was possessed.
My clothing is soaked. My mop of hair is knotted and there is seaweed stuck in there too. There must be an explanation for this nonsense. I try to stand, but my legs are toast. I have never felt this sore in my life. Petunia Pan, the Ocean Punching Bag.
"My, my, my."
"Holy shit!" My head whips to the right. I feel my heart jump into my throat and everything goes numb. "What the fuck are you? We killed you!"
"Now, did I raise my daughter to talk with such foul language?" Carmen hovers over me, almost transparent. There are burn marks and scars across her entire body. "You're right, looking at me that way. I never raised you. But still, the language is not
necessary."
"Where am I? What do you want?" My head is spinning. "Do you need a proper burial to crossover?"
Carmen cackles, "My dear, I no longer need anything. You've provided enough. You allowed me to possess you when you were too caught up in some stupid bottles of oil spilling about. Do you honestly think you could just stab me and I would die? I am – still
am – an all-powerful sorceress. Just because my physical body no longer breathes does not mean my spirit can't enjoy the fresh air."
My eyes dart to the empty ocean before me. "Where am I?"
"You don't recognize this? It was your favorite spot not too long ago. Look behind us."
Kapok trees. Banana trees. Vines. Lots of tall grass and bunches of plants I don't know the names of. "Cannibal Cove. Why are we here? Why did you possess me?" My legs are able to move again. I cautiously stand up and faced my Demon Mother.
Carmen lowers herself to ground level and floats towards me. She replies, "Because, you are now my pawn. We have successfully begun a war worth fighting in. Smee is dead, numerous pirates are enraged, and now even Hook hates you."
Hook, Hook where are you? I love you . . .
My insides churn. I run to the water and my insides come tumbling out. "Sorry, fish friends. Wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that."
"Petunia, you are now the one to do my bidding. If you do not comply, I will continue to use your body. I will destroy your soul. So, what do you say? Can we be a mother-daughter team?"
"What? You want me to work with you? Why? What the hell else is there to do if you've already accomplished what you wished?" My voice rises and I am left shouting, "You ruined any chances of me getting laid again!"
"Ick, please, Petunia, calm yourself." Carmen places a hand on my shoulder. "Don't you get it? Neverland is not happy unless there is good and evil. You are now the evil one. Together, we will turn this land upside down and destroy all the people and
creatures that have done Neverland wrong. This place was never made for wars and dishonesty. It was supposed to be a place where little orphans could stay children forever, free of the turmoil Earth brings. It was a place where pirates could sail
the open seas as long as they pleased. Neverland was a place where dreams could come alive. And stupid men like Hook and Smee and Peter ruined it all. Ruined!"
I stare at my fingernails. I mumble, "I am the one who needs to relax? I'm guessing you plan on going crazy-nutso killing everyone and then taking over Neverland for yourself?"
"No. Remember my Terror Powder?"
I nod. "Yeah, that shit made me hallucinate."
"Uh-huh. And everyone else will be, too. That is just phase one. Petunia, you have so much to learn. We have lots to do. Come along, then. Let's get you cleaned up and properly dressed. We can't begin this epic adventure with seaweed in your hair."
Seriously, this bitch is a ghost and trying to win me over. Sure, I can play along for a while. As soon as word gets out where I am, someone will look for me. At least I hope so. For now, I follow my spirit-mother into the forest. We head into Cannibal
Cove, where the desolate scene is as messy as we left it before.
Except this time, my Mother's magic tent is set up.
"Welcome home, Carmen and Petunia."
My eyes pop out of their sockets. "You're kidding . . . this guy?"
Nothing in Neverland ever fully dies. It can become a spirit, a creature, perhaps just a whisper of wind crawling down your back. Death is a fickle thing. Death is not typically something you can compromise with. However, the circumstances being what
they are, Death has given us one freebie. With a little faerie dust and some crazy faerie dance, Smee has begun breathing once more.
My accomplice, my best friend. Smee has come back.
"Did'ja see her fightin' skills Cap'n?" He asks me. His coughing has subsided. After the entire dayin a cot, this poor bugger is not so pale anymore. "It wasn't normal. You trained her. It don' make no sense. Petunia got me good."
"Listen," I rub my temple and say, "You can't dwell on this. We will find her and get our revenge."
"Cap'n, I'm tryin' to say I don't believe she meant to do it. It was like a strange reflux or something."
"Reflex? You need to stop talking now. That's the third sentence I've corrected for you. Rest. Tomorrow, we set sail." I turn on my heel and exit the bottom floor of the Jolly Roger.
Damn, this ship needs some music again. What was that Bad Romance song Petunia sang? Dear Petunia, you backstabber. Things always get so tricky when it comes to long lost family. If my Father showed up, I would never take his side. Dirty, rotten, scoundrel.
I walk up to the deck and breathe in the salty air. The ocean is still. It is still and stale like an uncorked bottle of wine.
"Petunia!" I bellow into the open air. I may look a fool but no one will question me right now. I would have married that stupid girl. Her silly gaze into my eyes won me over from the get go. I could drink her in until I burst. She got me drunk off of
her lies and I am left with a horrible hangover.
Foul Woman.
Awful, beautiful, deceitful, complex, delicious woman –
"Captain Hook?" Tinkerbell lands on my shoulder. "I know you and I aren't friends or anything, but I'd like to stick around if I could. At least for a while. After all, I saved Smee. Well, me and several other faeries. I would stay below deck and sleep
on a bag of flour."
Could this flittering mini-demon be scared? I feel her quick breath against my lower ear lobe and flick her to the floor. "Stay. Just stay out of my way."
"Yes, Captain." Tink lifted herself up and flew out of my sight.
It was at this very moment that I felt anger boil in my blood like a thick stew. No doubt that my eyes were beginning to turn their famous shade of crimson. My Jolly Roger was quiet, lifeless almost.
"Listen up!" I shout. "Gather around, mateys. Gather 'round."
My crew stumbles and fumbles until they encompass the spot where I stand.
I speak loudly and enforce my rule. "There is no more room for error. Over the years, we have survived countless attacks whether it be by land or sea. We have trudged through the forests of cannibals, taken our claim on land, even overcame mermaids and
enemies with arrows and agility. Yes, we beat the best. We are still here. Now comes a new era. There is a woman out there who has the power of lust. She can take you and break you. Tomorrow morning, we set sail to search for this creature.
I want her alive. For once she is here, she will soon become The Jolly Roger's new decorative piece. I want her beauty on the front of my ship for all of time. Her devious corpse will decay on this ship."
I admit, the last part might have been a tad rough. Hmph. No one is speaking. They gawk at me. Fools!
"Won't Petunia's corpse begin to smell after a while, Captain Hook?" Kale asks from behind the crowd.
Are they all questioning my ability as Captain? Has Petunia made me soft?
I slam my foot down. I grab hold the nearest pirate to me, some shifty-eyed bald one with a bandana around his wrist. I pull him against me and hold my hook to one of the rolls on his neck. What a slob. I can't even remember his name.
"Uh, Captain, we can set sail in the morning." Kale corrects himself.
"Y-y-yeah, Petunia's corpse!" Chunky doesn't fight me. I push him off of me and he slams to the deck, the rest of his body bouncing around.
"We need you in top shape, Chunky. No more bread for you." I kick his stomach lightly.
I hear a faint, "Aye, Captain."
"As for the rest of you, prepare for our hunt. I want weapons ready and a room specially prepared for our soon-to-be guest. Now, where is that twinkly faerie. Tink? You are going to be on our side this time, whether you like it or not."
Kale approaches me. "Captain," He cracks his hands. "I'm ready to sail. You just let me know where and we got it. This ocean, these waters, they don't hide anything for too long. Might I suggest we set bait once we hit water?"
"Bait? I quite like that idea. What do you plan on doing? Do you need a net and some worms? Petunia is not a fish."
"She lures men, right?" Kale stumps me. He was right.
"You are onto something, Kale. Why don't you come visit Tinkerbell with me for a moment. I think I may already have the perfect plan."
Yes, my gears are turning. I am livid. No one plays Captain James Hook. It is time to diminish the Pan name once and for all.
