It was the annual 2bc meetup in Surrey, British Columbia. This years party was handled by one of the most loyal and liked users on the site, Josepho Gratino. Josepho was very excited to be in control of the meetup. He had rented out a mansion from the local indians, and had decorated it with his own accord.
On the night of the party, Josepho was wearing a tailored italian suit. The suit was steel gray silk from the Ermenegildo Zegna collection. It had two front flap pockets, the left pocket had a little paper note in it containing the guest list. Josepho took it out of his pocket and examined it. He glossed over the usual suspects like Tigsy, Alvin Aar, Blues Clues and his vigilante gang, Jack Myer with his +1 that never showed up for whatever reason and the rest of the mod gang. Suddenly Josepho stopped on one name. He just kept staring at it and staring at it even harder. He became viciously enraged. Sweat poured down his greasy all-back italian hair as his face got redder and redder by the second. He crumpled up the paper and tossed it back into his pocket.
"Let's just take some deep breaths and calm down" Josepho thought to himself. He went into the washroom and cleaned himself up.
Within 15 minutes the first guest had arrived. It was Jack Myer, once again failing to show up with a date.
"Oh, uhh- Jinx had a photoshoot in Spain, so she couldn't come with me tonight." Jack explained. Josepho knew he was lying. He had always known Jinx wasn't real, only a story to make Jack seem cool to 12 year old indian kids. Josepho pointed him towards the ballroom where there were snacks and drinks available. Next came Blues Clues a.k.a Ayrton Gupta with his vigilante gang, featuring only David Bondra tonight, the other members were out fighting crimes against humanity, doing God's work. Slowly the ballroom was filling up with guests. Josepho was talking with Bondra, Jack Myer, and Ayrton at a round glass table.
"Hey guys, check this out" Josepho said. He threw his new business card onto the table. It was a bone white card with "Josepho Gratino - The Don" written on it with. Everyone nodded and agreed that it was fairly nice.
"Picked them up from the printers yesterday. The coloring is bone. And the lettering is something called Silian Gray.
"That's pretty cool Gratino, but that's nothing." Jack replied and pulled out his business card. It was eggshell colored with romalian type.
"What do you think?" Jack asked Josepho. Josepho looked at the card for a second, and then replied to Jack very softly, almost with a whisper:
"Nice." Bondra was complimenting Jack's card. Josepho was in disbelief that Bondra prefered Jack's card to his. He was almost filled with rage, but still let out a smirk to cover his feverous rage up.
"But wait. You ain't seen nothing yet." Bondra said and put his card up for the group to judge.
"Braise lettering, pale nimbus. White" Josepho wasn't impressed but replied, again very softly:
"Impressive, very nice... Let's see Paul Allen's card." Suddenly the atmosphere got very tense. Bondra pulled out Paul Allen's card with a sigh. He knew it was nicer than anything else on the table. He slowly pulled it out of his pocket and gave it to Josepho. Josepho started sweating and losing his fake smirk:
"Look at the subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my god. It even has a watermark" He thought to himself. Josepho stared at the card. His hand started to shake and his form tremble. In fact, his entire body started subtly shaking. Josepho dropped the card.
"Something wrong?" Ayrton asked Josepho. Ayrton obviously had homosexual tendencies, and was interested in Josepho. Josepho knew this, but chose to ignore it. Josepho didn't respond to Ayrton and walked off into the corner of the ballroom. He looked at the guest list again. He was crossing off everyone that had showed up.
"Alvin, Ayrton, Samee, Matt..." Then he paused. He was feeling the heat again. Josepho was sweating again and his eyes started drying up. He was staring at that one name again. He wanted to stop, but couldn't. David Bondra saw Josepho acting weird. He walked over and asked:
"Joe, are you alright buddy?" Josepho turned to face him. He stared at him with a blank look on his face. He was quiet for a few seconds, then he forced out a smile and said:
"Yeah, everythings A-OK. How you enjoying the party?"
"It's great! Well, it's not exactly hard to top last year where Alvin invited us to the family barbeque." Josepho laughed and crumpled up the paper again. Everyone was having a fun time catching up with eachother in the ballroom. Suddenly the doorbell rang. Josepho was checking his guestlist. He only had one name left on the paper. The person hadn't showed up to a meeting for years. Josepho was almost shaking with excitement. He walked over to the door, opened it up and started to yell:
"Holy fuck, you're finally here Ze-" Josepho looked on in disgust. It wasn't the man he was expecting. It was instead a balding indian man in his early 30's. He was wearing a dirty Drake shirt, ripped up jeans and loafers that were wet from piss. More importantly, he reeked of shit. This man was Yaneder Maudgill, the once respected user. Josepho stepped outside the door and pushed Yaneder aside.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing here? What are you fucking homeless? You REEK of shit." Josepho ranted at Yaneder angrily.
"Times are tough man, I had to buy weed and the new Drake album man, TrudeauSecurity let me down hard fam. You don't have any weed on you, do you man? Josepho spat on Yaneders face and kicked him in the shin.
"Never talk to me again you fucking street rat." Josepho closed the door and put on some more cologne.
About and hour into the Party, Josepho had an annoucement to make.
"Alright lads, nice of you to come. Now we have some fun activi-" Josepho was interrupted by a screaming Tigsy. He was already drunk early in the evening. He had brought moonshine that he cooked up in his trailer. He was wearing gray sweatpants, a dirty off-white wife beater with mustard stains and something red on it, some blood must have spilled on it during one of his vicious wife beating moments. He also had an old orange cap on backwards to hide his receding hairline.
"So, as I was saying, we have activities planned for toni-" Josepho was interupted again by Tigsy. This time Alvin stepped in:
"Hey, shut up or I'll fuck your ass!"
"Do it you fucking pussy ass sandnigger" Tigsy yelled back at him while taking his pants off to prepare for the assfucking. Alvin didn't waste anytime, and had his pants down with his massive indian schlong out within seconds. He bent over Tigsy, and hit it raw. Absolutely raw. Blood started oozing from Tigsy's anus. Alvin didn't stop. He kept going and going and going. He was like a machine. Everyone in the room was starting to get turned on. Ayrton ripped his pants of almost immediately and screamed:
"IT'S AN ALL OUT ORGY BOYS!" Everyone cheered and started to undress. Josepho looked on, not in disgust, but in shock of how fast things changed. Alvin was still brutally going in on Tigsy's anus, while everyone else paired up and started fucking. Samee was the only one left without a partner. He was ready to take some cock in the name of Allah. Then he noticed Josepho, standing on the stage.
"Hey Joe, come and give me the italian sausage!" Samee screamed with his high pitched voice. Josepho knew he didn't want to fuck a savage dunecoon, So he decided to work out a deal with Matt, also known as "HoPE x NaSHTY 61", to switch partners. Josepho got with David Bondra and pulled out his 9 inch schnietzel and stuck it into Bondra. Matt immediately started going to town on Samee. During the sex act, Samee was constantly mumbling something in arabic. Matt didn't particularly pay attention to this, he was more concerned with not cumming too early.
"SAMEE, I'M GONNA CUM!" Matt screamed.
"'ana sawf qutil hula' alkuffar lak ya kabir allah" Samee mumbled. As Matt busted a nut into Samee's ass, he also climaxed, screaming:
"FUCK YES I DID 9/11" Matt started tearing up. What kind of man did he just fuck? Matt was overwhelmed with emotions.
"OY VEY DIS LIKE ANUDDA HOLOCAUST!" Matt screamed through sniffles and crying. Samee looked at Matt in disgust.
"Did I just fuck a JEW?" Samee thought. He started overcoming with rage. He pulled out a sword seemingly out of nowhere and screamed:
"YAHUDI QADHR SAWF BIQATE RUUWS LAK FI ASM ALLAH!" He brutally beheaded Matt. No one was able to spot this since the floor was almost completely covered in blood from everyone hitting it raw. (Editors note: Except Josepho, he's a very kind and gentle man.)
After multiple hours of Cheetos and sex acts most of the group had never witnessed before, everyone was drained.
"Whew, that really was something." Bondra said. Everyone agreed. Suddenly they heard a big bang come from the direction of the door.
Everyone was curious, but stayed put. They heard loud steps coming from the hall.
"Sounds like down syndrome legs." Josepho broke the silence. The steps stopped behind the door of the ballroom. The man behind the door kicked the door down. Everyone looked on with awe at the man. The man took a deep breath, and yelled:
"HOW'S IT GOING BOYS, JOHNNY SUPERBMAN HERE"
"Seems like the party is just starting after all..." Josepho said with a deep sigh.